


Oso throu Daun Ogeda (We Fight Together)

by HedaEmber



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Apocalypse, Badass Clarke, Be gentle, Clexa, Commander Lexa (The 100), Explosions, First 100 fanfic, Lots of Cursing, Sex, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, be prepared for the lesbian sexy times, but worth it, kinda angsty, okay a little more than kinda angsty, things are gonna go down, very clexa, you might hate bellamy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2020-10-13 11:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 99,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HedaEmber/pseuds/HedaEmber
Summary: Clexa Zombie AU- Basically Fear the walking dead universe with the 100 characters.Clarke and her small group are struggling, on the verge of starvation. With an injured member and gaining two more they decide to bunker down and try and scavenge what they can. When Clarke ends up being abducted by the infamous "Mountain" the government military base, known as Mount Weather. Their soul purpose: Finding a cure, by any means necessary. Finding trust in an unexpected ally, they make their escape.Running into trouble Clarke is injured and taken back to Trikru, where she meets the Commander of the twelve clans. Can they defeat the mountain and save their people? All while dealing with the Z's and the constant draw they have to one another?Horrible at summaries, but basically just like the 100 they have to take down the mountain. Just modern day and proves a little more challenging with Z's...





	1. Trapped

"Clarke we need to move now!" Finn yelled, driving his bat into the head of the nearest walker. They were being cornered by a horde in the back of the convenience store they took shelter in that night, not realizing the horde that was trailing their sounds for miles. Clarke drove her blade into the walker closing in on one of their injured members. She hooked her hands under the girls arms to get a better grip on her as she started dragging her to a back room, the door reading "employees only."

"Fall back! Everyone in the room now!" She screamed out, "Raven, watch our front!" She yelled to her injured friend, watching the blood escape the wound on her friends leg, painting a crimson streak across the dirt covered floor as they moved. Knowing nothing can be done to stifle the bleeding, until she can get her group to safety, she quickened her speed. Finn on her left with his bat in hand taking out two advancing in his direction. To her right was Murphy, another weary party member working towards getting to the back door. Clarke managed to catch a glimpse of him in action as his crowbar plowed through the skull of a walker.

Finally reaching it she can hear Murphy grunting behind her, slamming his body into the door in panicked desperation trying to get it open. Clarke took the chance to set Raven down and help Murphy with the door, turning to Finn "Cover us!" She yanked the crowbar from Murphy’s hands and jammed it into the crook of the door prying with all her strength, breathing a quick sigh of relief when she heard the door click open. Kicking it fully open she turned around putting her hands under Ravens arms again and dragging her into the safety of the room, Finn and Murphy followed close behind slamming the door shut. Clarke grabbed a chair that was positioned next to the desk behind her and propped it under the door handle locking them in. She took a step back, all four of them breathing heavy, not daring keep their eyes off the door in fear of the horde breaking through. It felt like hours, but only minutes passed when the tension in the room started to dissipate knowing, at least for now, they were safe. 

Clarke turned her attention back to Raven, needing to take a better look at her wound. "Let me see Raven," She tore the girls lower pant leg, pulling the fabric apart to take a better look at the wound, breathing a sigh of relief when she noticed it wasn't a bite. She creased her eyebrow at the gash, noticing how deep it is.

"When the horde broke in they sent one of the shelves on top of me" Raven said, realizing her friends concern. "I was able to crawl out before being bitten but my leg was tore up pretty badly in the process" She said through gritted teeth. Clarke nodded in response, not wanting her voice to betray her concern and frighten her friend more. She tore a piece of her shirt sleeve to make a makeshift wrap for Ravens leg. Finn was next to Raven trying to supply some form of comfort to his friend. Murphy knelt in the corner cleaning the guts and walker blood from his crowbar, clearing his throat to get the attention of the group. 

"So, this is how we go out huh?" He chuckled softly, the lack of humor evident in his eyes. "Didn't think my final breath would be taken in a gas station with the three of you."

Clarke rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore Murphy for now. Finishing up securing the wrap on Ravens leg, making sure it was tight "Okay, that should do for now. But I think you're going to need stitches, and definitely some antibiotics so it doesn't get infected" She sighed. It was hard enough finding scraps of food and water just to live off of. Medicine and antibiotics were an impossible task.

"Well first thing is we need to get out of here" Finn said, turning around taking in their surroundings for the first time. Realizing there were no windows and only one door, that was now infested with walkers. "Well shit" He said defeated. 

"Bellamy and Octavia are still out there remember?" Clarke said, just now realizing the fifth and sixth members of their groups absence. 

"Yeah, and when they come back and see the shit storm out there they're going to assume were dead and move on." Murphy rolled his eyes, leaning against the back wall and sliding down into a seated position. 

"Just because you're a heartless son of a bitch doesn't mean the rest of us are" Raven choked out through gritted teeth, the pain evident in her voice.

"They'll be here, we just have to wait it out" Clarke said walking over to where Finn sat besides Raven, his hand holding hers in silent comfort. Sitting down and stretching her legs, leaning her head back against the wall.

"Lets just hope we won't have to wait too long" It was barely a whisper that escaped Finns mouth but Clarke could hear the concern laced within. Looking back down at Raven's leg she could see a light spot of blood starting to appear on the wrap. Noticing that Finn was staring at the same thing, she laid her hand on his trying to ease his concern the only way she could.

"We won't. They'll be here" Knowing Bellamy and Octavia only went on a brief scouting mission to find food or supplies that could still be in the area. Clarke knew they would be returning to their temporary camp shortly, and was also confident that her friends wouldn't leave them without a proper investigation of the building first. In this world, you're not gone until you're gone. Which means unless you see them dead or rather undead, then they're alive. It was the only thing that gave their small group any hope when they would get split; and they always seemed to find each other. 

* * *

"I don't know Bell, it doesn't look promising" Octavia sighed turning to her brother who was walking towards a very ransacked looking pharmacy. They've already been to two other stores in this area and they were just about to call it when Bellamy spotted the pharmacy.

"You never know O, we just might get lucky" He smiled in her direction as he continued moving forward, a semi automatic on his shoulder, ready for any potential danger. Octavia rolled her eyes but followed her brother, just two steps behind him, her hand hovering over the handgun in her holster. They knew not to use the guns unless absolutely necessary. Considering they only had the two guns for their small group, and they were only to be used during scouting missions in case they get into any sticky situations. Being that they were out in the open, with threats of not only walkers but humans as well, the siblings decided to make an exception, holstering their blunt weapons in favor of their firearms. 

Bellamy made his way to the pharmacy's door, peering in through the broken glass. He held his hand up to halt Octavia’s progress and slowly placed one foot in the threshold, followed by the second. He grabbed his machete from his thigh and brought it up to the nearest shelf, banging the metal objects together to create noise, trying to lure any walkers out from hiding. Moans can be heard from his left as he turned to see two walkers lumbering towards him. He heard some growls from deeper in the store but made a move to take care of the two in the front first before any more decide to join. After driving his machete into the head of the first walker he removed it quickly before slamming it into the head of the other. Using the shirt of one to wipe his blade clean, he motioned for Octavia to move forward. Pointing to his eyes and then to the back of the store, letting her know to keep an eye out because there were more. Octavia nodded in understanding, gripping the katana that was strapped to her back, slowly making her way inside. 

Stepping over the broken glass she could already hear the moans from the remaining walkers. As silently as she could, she crossed to the back of the store making her way towards the noise. Turning down an aisle she can hear the sound level rising. With a deep breath she turned the corner prepared to strike only to be confronted with three walkers stuck behind the pharmacy counter, two in lab coats and one in civilian clothing. Poor soul probably got trapped here trying to find medicine and first aid. She walked forward, katana at the ready, and in one quick motion she cut all three of their heads clean off their bodies. With a sad sigh she cleaned the blade and quietly slipped it back into its sheath. 

Octavia was always the first person to grant clemency to the dead, not wanting them to suffer anymore she was always the first to volunteer to end their misery. Yet it didn't make it any easier when it came time to do it. 

"All clear!" She yelled out in her brothers direction, turning back to the pharmacy counter and jumping over, being sure not to disturbed the recently downed walkers. Looking around she can already tell the place was wiped clean long ago, anything of potential use already taken well before they arrived here. The store was probably picked clean when the infection first broke out like every other store or house they've come across over the last ten months. The group was barely hanging on each day, trying desperately to keep enough food and water in each of them to keep them alive. 

"This isn't working!" She screamed out in frustration as she knocked over the register in front of her, sending everything on the counter cluttering to the floor with it. 

Bellamy came flying around the aisle gun trained to the pharmacy counter, eyes wide and alert. It only took one look at his sister and he noticed the anger radiating off her in waves. He climbed over the counter, holstering his semi to hang from his shoulder clearly realizing there was no further danger. Octavia was still turned, her back to him, when he reached his hand out to grasp her shoulder.  
"It's going to be okay O" Squeezing her shoulder lightly in reassurance. Shrugging quickly from his grasp Octavia turned to look at her brother, anger welling in the depths of her muddy green eyes.

"Is it though?" She yelled, advancing in his direction. "Is it really going to be okay? We've been doing the same shit for months now Bell!" Her eyes glistening with fresh tears she wouldn't let fall. "Every new town, city or fucking barn we find we loot, and guess what? Nothings ever fucking there!" She threw her hands up in anger. She didn't know how much longer she can take the continual running, the menial scavenging and the constant unknown that has become their life. 

Bellamy only nodded in response, letting his sister vent. This wasn't the first time the younger sibling flew off the handle in random circumstance. She wasn't one to ever hold back when she felt a certain way, and letting her just get it all out was the only way to get her to calm down again. 

"I'm just over the constant bullshit Bell. I just want to have one good thing happen, just once" She leaned against the counter and slid down pulling her legs to her chest and burying her face in her hands. Bellamy didn't say anything, knowing it wasn't needed and also that there was nothing to say. He thinks the same way she does, wishing everyday that they can have something to put hope into. So he just followed suit, sliding down next to her and putting his arm around her shoulders in a soothing embrace. 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, neither saying a word, and knowing neither had to. Bellamy leaned his head against the counter, taking a look at the empty shelves and broken pill bottles that littered the floor. At the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of something tucked under one of the pharmacy desks in the corner. Crawling over to grab the box, a smile spread across his face when he looked at his new discovery. A brand new, unopened first aide kit with all the essentials. From simple band aides to a needle and thread for more serious injuries. Looking through it Bellamy also found some antibiotics and fever reducers. Not much, but more than they had before so Bellamy was happy. 

Standing up, he walked over using his foot he nudged Octavia, who had now fallen asleep. She startled quickly rising to a crouching position, hand on the hilt of her katana on her back. 

"Whoa, easy O its just me" Bellamy held his free hand up in surrender "I think our luck has changed." He said, gesturing to the first aide kit in his other hand. When her sleep rattled brain finally snapped back to reality she looked at the object in Bellamy's hand and her eyes grew wide.

"Is it-?"

"Unopened" Bellamy finished for her, handing over the kit to his sister so she can look at it for herself. After a minute of looking over its contents an ear to ear smile presented itself on her lips.

"Maybe I should talk shit more often" She joked, causing an eye roll from Bellamy as he reached for his semi that he leaned against the counter earlier when comforting Octavia, swinging it around his shoulder and grabbing the kit from his sister. 

"Turn around" He twirled his finger in a circular motion as Octavia turned. He opened the backpack attached to her back and slipped the first aide kit inside, zipping it back up. "Alright lets get back to the group. I found a couple of stray breakfast bars in the front earlier I forgot to mention" He pulled out two bars with silver wrappers from his pocket to show her before putting them back "It's not much, especially for six people but it's something" He said before climbing back over the counter, Octavia following right behind. 

They barely made it outside the pharmacy before they heard the screams. Grabbing for their guns they ran, knowing full well where those screams were coming from.

As they approached the convenience center, using the ally across the street as cover, they noticed the horde that crashed through the barricades they had put up just hours before. twenty or thirty walkers invading the shelter their friends were still trapped in. Knowing they were still there because the flatbed truck they've been traveling in was still parked out front. Octavia stirred uncomfortably behind Bellamy, being the first to break the silence.

"They have to be in the back office, it's the only other room with a door" Bellamy nodded in agreement knowing if their friends couldn't fight their way through they'd barricade themselves in. He mapped out the area, eyes darting from the horde to the gas pumps in the front of the store, furrowing his brow in concentration.

"Okay so the only way to do this safely would be to lure them out and blow them up" He says finally turning to face her, a concerned look on his face.

"Wait, you mean-?" Bellamy nodded in answer, knowing what his sister was about to say. 

"Are you fucking kidding? Who knows when we'll find more gas Bell! It took us forever to find this!" She gestured to the gas pumps in front of the store, leaning forward to whisper-yell trying not to draw any attention from nearby walkers. 

"I know, trust me I do, and if you can come up with a better way to clear that horde and get everyone out of this alive then I'm all ears" He defended looking towards his sister with what would seem like hope. Hope maybe that she found another solution then blowing up the only chance they had to get out of this town.

She rolled her eyes and huffed, clearly realizing there was no other solution. "You know Clarke is going to kick your ass" She smiled at the image that came to mind.

"Oh no, it’s not her I’m worried about" He responded, rubbing the back of his neck the way he did when he was nervous. Octavia couldn’t hold back a laugh at the thought.

"Now _Raven_ is probably going to kill us both" She said, a thin smile appearing on her lips "Not for the gas or saving her life obviously" She said as she pushed passed him "But for blowing something up without her" She finished not bothering to look behind her as she continued her way towards the store and the impending horde that lays inside.

"What are you doing?!" Bellamy said, raising his voice slightly in panic. Reaching out to grab his sister and pull her back, but was greeted with air instead as she jerked from his reach. She turned to face him, walking (more like skipping) backwards continuing her pace.

"We gotta lure them out right?" she said, raising her voice purposefully this time trying to attract the walkers inside "I'll be the bait! Get that rifle ready big brother!" She said crossing the street now as some walkers began exiting the building. She stopped in the middle of the street turning back around to face her brother.  
"When I'm clear, shoot the tanks!" She stated before turning back around unsheathing her katana and running towards the horde in front of her. 

Whistling and slamming her katana on the ground she was able to draw them out with the noise. Looking inside she noticed a good half of them were unmoving. Obviously not noticing the noise like the others had, or simply not caring.

Cursing under her breath she made a beeline for the truck just in front of the building. Knowing they needed gas but still had a little left in the tank was the only hope she had to successfully draw all of them out.

Cutting quickly across the parking lot she turned, her attention on incoming undead. Having to decapitate two walkers coming in on her left distracted her momentarily from the one advancing in on her front. Hearing the growl before seeing the walker, she fell to her knees just as infected teeth clenched down on the air she once occupied. Driving her katana up, feeling blade connect with rotting flesh, she split the walker down the middle, drops of blood and bile flying to her face. 

Realizing she cleared a route to the truck, she pushed herself off the floor, muscles screaming in protest, as she ran at full speed to the trucks door. Jumping inside she grabbed the already exposed blue and red wires and hardwired the car, starting the engine. Putting the truck in drive. She grabbed a CD left over in the truck from the last occupant and jammed it in the drive. 

With shaky hands she pressed play, turning the volume up as loud as she could and rolling the windows down. Looking into the rear view mirror she could tell it was working, but just to be sure she started blaring the horn, making sure to attract every walker in the vicinity. 

She drove the truck to the road just outside the potential blast zone. Putting the truck in park but keeping the music on. She jumped out, stepping into the flatbed instead, katana sheathed on her back and pistol now in her hand. She raised her free hand up so Bellamy can read her signal, All fingers flat in the air, lowering one at a time as she silently began a countdown for Bellamy. As each finger dropped it felt as if time had slowed down.

Five. Bellamy counts the heads of the dead as they make their way towards the truck

Four. He clicks the safety off.

Three. He takes a deep breath readying himself.

Two. He aims at the nearest gas tank, his finger hovering lightly over the trigger.

One. 

The bullet leaves the gun in one clean shot sinking into the targeted tank. The explosion rang out with such force it plummeted Octavia right to the floor, her feet leaving the flatbed before she even realized what happened. Her head hit the ground, bouncing when she landed. She groaned rolling over, her hand going to the gash on her head. Pulling back to inspect it, she noticed the light layer of blood now coating her palm. She tried to stand but was forced back down by her own body, unwilling to move. With her vision now going blurry all she could make out were the groans, growls and echoes of the undead that surrounded her. 

When she manages to open her eyes all she could make out was the soft silhouette of her brother in front of her, trying to defend against the onslaught of half burnt walkers coming their way. Looking back to the store, she can barely make out the figures in the distance, fighting against the half burnt horde.

Trying desperately to get to her feet only to be taken back down by her own weight, suddenly seeming heavier than before, Octavia relented. She turned her head to see her brother yelling something in her direction. While attempting to make out his words her ears began to ring, clutching her head against the pain she felt her brothers arms cradle her, picking her up.

“I’ve got you O, you’re going to be okay” Her brothers voice echoed in her head before everything went black.


	2. That Makes Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and her small group continue their journey, only to discover two new people. Are they friend or foe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay second chapter! I plan on updating every Tuesday or Wednesday depending on my schedule. Thank you to everyone who has left a comment or a kudo! You don't even know how much it means to me so thank you again. I also don't have a beta so everything is edited myself. So if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes I apologize.

BOOM

“Shit, what the fuck was that?” Murphy said laying on the floor, hands over his head for protection. Finn had thrown himself over Raven to protect her body, while Clarke used the desk as cover. They weren’t sure exactly what caused the sound, but it was big enough to cause some ceiling tiles and debris to come falling on top of them. 

When the ground finally stilled, Clarke crawled out from under the desk walking towards the door only to be stopped by a hand gripping her wrist. She turned to see Finn staring at her, still on the ground with Raven.

“Where are you going?” He asked concerned. Clarke just shook off his hand in response and made her way to the door. Placing her ear against it she put a finger to her lips to quiet the group. She could hear distant moans in the distance, but she could tell the horde was no longer on the other side. 

“I think this is our chance, I’m positive that explosion was Bell and O” Clarke said turning back to face the group. Murphy nodded standing up to join Clarke twirling his crowbar in his hand.

”Fucking finally! I’m not exactly claustrophobic but small spaces are not my favorite” Murphy said reaching for the handle of the door before Clarke stops him.

”We need to make sure we clear a path to get Raven out safely” She said nodding her head in Finns’ direction “Take him with you. When the door opens clear any remaining walkers in your way” Finn nodded giving Ravens hand one last squeeze before standing up and grabbing his bat. 

Clarke walked over to Raven, taking one of her blades and handing it to the dark haired girl.

“Just my luck right? I’m one leg down and Bell and O are out there blowing shit up without me!” Raven shook her head in disbelief “After I thank them for saving me I’m going to kill them myself” She said with a pout, receiving a light chuckle from Clarke.

”Don’t worry Rae” Clarke responded going around to Ravens back and looping her arms under hers helping to stand her up. “I’m sure that wont be the last time we need to blow something up, and I’ll make sure it’s you next time.”

”You better” Raven muttered under her breath, leaning her weight onto her good leg when she stood.

Murphy and Finn stood waiting by the door, making sure both girls were ready before continuing. Murphy silently placed his fingers around the door nob when Finn moved the chair away.

“Ready? One, two-” Murphy counted the one silently before swinging the door open. The boys walked out first, weapons at the ready. When their eyes finally adjusted to the light they were struck still by the scene around them. Flames still ablaze in front of the store where the gas pumps once stood. The flames licking their way to the storefront, casting a bright, hot glow against the walls. Half burnt walkers littering the parking lot and street, some still walking, others in pieces scattered across the asphalt. 

“Holy shit” Murphy lets out a breath, gripping harder around the crowbar in his hands. Squinting in the distance he could see their truck parked further out than he remembered. 

“Are Bell and O out there?” Clarke called, still inside the back office with Raven. She wasn’t about to risk being overrun while trying to get Raven refuge. 

“I think I see them” Finn answered, turning back to face Clarke “We got you covered just get Raven to the truck” Clarke nodded looping Ravens arm around her shoulders and placing a hand on her waist to help support her. 

It didn’t take long for Clarke’s eyes to adjust before her and Raven were practically sprinting across the store. With most of Ravens weight on her, Clarke had to put complete trust and faith into Finn and Murphy. Looking behind her to make sure they were alright wasn’t something she had time for, so she pushed forward. 

Slamming her shoulder into a burnt walker in front of her forcing him out of her way she could feel Ravens grip start to falter. Noticing how many still obstructed her path Clarke reluctantly decided she needed to help clear them out. Tightening her hold on Ravens waist she leaned her against the nearest shelf, gently lowering her to the ground.

“You’re okay” Clarke reassured her through Ravens screams of pain “You’re alright, I’m just going to clear out these few walkers still in the store” She squeezed her hand in silent comfort before turning back around to face the oncoming walkers. 

She grabbed her buck knife and forced it into the eye of one before turning her attention to the front of the store. She helped Finn and Murphy clear the rest of them without incident, driving her blade into the skull of the last one.

“No! Get the fuck off me!” Ravens screams carried to the front of the store, just as the walker slid from Clarke’s blade. She grabbed Finns arm as he was passing her on his way to Raven.

“I’ve got her” Clarke said already making her way in that direction “Help Murphy clear a path to the truck!” She called out behind her, not waiting to hear a reply.

When she rounded the corner Raven was struggling against a walker already half on top of her. One hand was on his neck, the other on his shoulder trying desperately to get him off. The blade Clarke had given her on the other side of the aisle, clearly being tossed away during the skirmish. Clarke ran up behind the walker jamming her blade into the soft spot in the back of his head, his body going limp on top of Raven.

”Ugh!” Raven exhaled, head falling to the floor, arms going limp at her sides. “Please get this dude off me, his stench is starting to affect my breathing” Clarke chuckled as she pushed the body off, extending out her hand for her to take. Quickly checking her over for bites before helping her stand.

Getting Raven to her feet, arm draped around Clarke’s shoulder, they made their way to the front of the store. By the time they walked out Murphy and Finn had already taken out a good majority of the remaining walkers. Having noticed their presence Finn ran over to help support Ravens weight on the other side. 

“Bell and O are at the truck” Finn said, helping Raven step over a downed body in their way. “O got hit pretty hard on the head when the explosion went off” He continued.

“That’s what you get when you blow things up without the professional” Raven scoffed. Clarke rolled her eyes letting a chuckle escape her lips. No matter the situation she could always count on Raven to lighten the mood. 

When Bellamy finally came into view he ran over and took Ravens weight from Clarke. “Can you take a look at O for me? She took a pretty bad hit” Clarke nodded while Bellamy took her place supporting Raven. 

She jogged the remaining distance to the truck, jumping in the flatbed where Octavia was now sat up, hand to her head. 

“How you doing O? Heard you got knocked pretty hard” Clarke said, removing Octavia’s hand so she can look at the wound. Noticing the now dried blood, and being confident it had stopped, Clarke wasn’t too concerned. 

“I’m alright, had worse” she grumbles “How mad is Raven?” 

“Not thrilled, but she’s alive so she’ll get over it” Clarke said “How’s your vision? Any nausea or sensitivity to light?” Octavia shakes her head in answer “Okay well I don’t think you have a concussion, unfortunately we don’t have much for the pain” Clarke explained, not thrilled about their lack of medical supplies.

“You sure about that princess?” Clarke turned to Bellamy, now helping Raven into the flatbed, and barely catches a small box he threw in her direction. She looks down, running her fingers over the red letters that spell ‘first aid’ her heart skips a beat.

“Holy shit! I haven’t seen a complete first aid kit in almost a year!” Clarke stammered excitedly, flipping open the kit and looking at it’s contents. It felt like Christmas for her. Having to treat wounds without the proper tools and medications have been a challenge to say the least. 

With great enthusiasm she reached in and grabbed a bottle of pain medication taking two pills out and handing them to Octavia. 

“Take these, it should dull the pain” Octavia took the pills without question quickly downing them dry, leaning her head against the back window of the truck.

After Finn and Bellamy helped load Raven into the flatbed, Finn jumped in, with Bellamy driving and Murphy in the passenger seat. They didn’t decide on any specific place to go, and honestly they never did. Their lives since the infection broke out has been nothing but survival. From one place to the next hoping they would find something they can make permanent. Someplace they can make a home.

Driving down the road Clarke leaned against the side of the flatbed, tilting her head out just enough to feel the breeze run through her hair. She sighed and closed her eyes against the sun, relishing in the warmth against her skin.

The last few hours were exhausting, and sadly Clarke knew it wouldn’t be the worst situation they’ll get themselves in. This world was an unpredictable disaster. Not knowing if you’ll have a tomorrow makes small moments, like the sun on your skin, a given grace. They didn’t have much gas left and didn’t know when the next time they’ll get any. 

Realizing the rest of their journey will be on foot, Clarke knew they needed to find somewhere soon. Raven wouldn’t make it long on foot, even after Clarke patches her up she knows it will be a while before she can properly use it again, if ever.

* * *

When the Infection broke out, it unfortunately wasn’t a surprise to Clarke. It was a calamitous reality she had warned many about.  
Her place of residence at the time was the farthest thing from a place once called home. She was sentenced to two years at the Jaha Juvenile correctional institution six months before the break out.

_Coming home one day from school, she could hear her fathers voice drifting in from the the back of the house. Having just set her backpack on the floor in the foyer, she made her way towards the kitchen. Hearing the panic in her fathers voice stopped her in her tracks. Leaning against the wall in the hallway, she pressed her ear closer to the frame of the door, listening in to the rest of her fathers conversation._

_“This is serious sir! We need to let people know! They need time to prepare!” Jake Griffin frantically paced around the kitchen island in the middle of the room. Clarke couldn’t hear the recipients response, but she knew it wasn’t good from her fathers reaction._

_“No. I can’t do that sir, they need to know” Jake’s voice was solemn, and if he knew his daughter was standing not five feet from him listening, he wouldn’t have let the next words leave his mouth._

_“I understand that sir, but this isn’t just a severe case of the flu. People are dying and coming back, rabid and feral. Attacking other people!” The voice on the other line said something that Clarke couldn’t make out._

_“This is a catastrophic outbreak sir, and I’m sorry I can’t sit back while innocent people lose their lives. This could very well be the end of the world.” He put his head in his hands rubbing the sides of his face with his forefinger and thumb. Whatever was said on the other end came as no surprise to her father._

_“Do what you must.” He touched the screen ending the call, sighing in defeat._

_“Dad?” He turned to the small voice clinging to the frame of the door. His heart stopped, he could feel his blood go cold as a lump formed in his throat._

_She heard._

* * *

Oh yes, she heard. The world around her felt like it froze in time those first few days. Her dad having told her to stay in her room, taking her phone and computer. Even going as far as taking her game consoles. Cutting her off from all contact, in hopes that if nobody knew she heard, then she’d be safe.

Jake was wrong.

He didn’t take in the fact that Clarke’s mother, Abby, would not feel the same way her husband did. In fact going so far as to call the authorities herself and confessing everything that her husband was planning to do, omitting Clarke’s knowledge of the situation.

Not two hours after her call there was a swat team surrounding her house. Her father surrendered willingly, not wanting to put his family in anymore danger. 

That was the last time Clarke saw him, as he made eye contact with her while being pushed into the black SUV. A week later she was told of his death. They passed it off as some ‘prison brawl’ that broke out in the rec room, Jake being an unfortunate casualty.

Clarke knew the truth.

She knew they killed her father because of his knowledge.

She knew her mother was to blame for his capture.

And she knew she was next.

Clarke never cried so much in her life, her grief drowning out her world. The grief turned to anger, and she couldn’t contain herself anymore. She knew the repercussions this would cause, deciding to do it anyway. Her father was killed for wanting people to know. So that’s what she did. She snuck into Jake’s office one night, easily hacking into his computer. Every social media platform, news, celebrity, newspaper, magazine. Every outlet Clarke thought of, she called. 

It didn’t take long for the FBI to trace the calls and router coordinates to her door, barging in. Clarke being thrown to the ground, arms behind her back, she was smiling. 

walking the same steps as her father, she couldn’t help but smile with pride for having done something he wished to do himself.

Being a minor, with Abby’s influence, meant she was kept from the same fate as her father. Instead, being sentenced to stay within the walls of JJDC, detained as a delinquent among the other juveniles until her eighteenth Birthday. That’s where she met Raven. The dark haired girl was arrested for blowing up a police station, trying to break out a friend. 

Having already been there for two months, she helped guide Clarke in the beginning of her stay. Keeping her on top of her game and out of trouble, they became close friends.

Six months pass without incident and Clarke was beginning to think her father was wrong. That maybe it wasn’t real. That he might have received the wrong information, or they found a vaccine. 

She couldn’t be more wrong.

When the contagion reached JJDC it was a late October night. Clarke was ripped from her bed half asleep and disoriented.

* * *

_“Get up! Get moving now!” One of the male guards screamed, tearing the blankets from her body. _

_She quickly stood, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She reached for her pants, sliding into them, before grabbing a clean gray shirt and running out with the other girls. Frantically keeping an eye out for Raven, she was escorted onto a bus with the rest of her group. Quickly scanning her surroundings, cerulean met amber, and she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Running to the seat next to Raven in the back of the bus, they held each other as chaos ensued around them. Hearing faint moans, and then screams, Clarke felt her throat constrict. Mouth going dry, she closed her eyes. _

_It was all true._

_Before they had time to see where the screams were coming from a guard ran in, sliding the door closed and screaming at the driver to move._

_They didn’t even make it around the block before their bus was overrun. Newly infected walkers advancing in every direction, slamming into the bus, clawing at the windows. Raven and Clarke helplessly clung to each other. Tears escaping from brown eyes as Clarke gently tried to console her friend._

_“We need to move!” Bellamy’s voice bellowed from the front of the bus._

_ Looking over Clarke can see a faint crack beginning in one of the windows from the weight of the walkers. She lifted her head to meet the boys stare, behind him Octavia stood, one hand on her brothers shoulder. The Blake siblings were the last occupants on the bus, giving them first glance at the carnage that lay outside._

_Screams broke out, the noise attracting more infected nearby, as they started swarming the double-decker on all sides. Bellamy, noticing the exit in the back, grabbed his sisters wrist and ran for the escape. Sighting Clarke and Raven as he was helping Octavia out, he turned quickly to the two girls._

_“They won’t make it! You both have a chance” Looking to Clarke with sadness behind his chocolate eyes “You can’t save them Princess, lets go!” He said, jumping out of the exit as well. Clarke looked up just as a walker burst through a window, teeth ripping into a boys neck. The blonde shook herself back to reality, grabbing Ravens wrist and running for the exit. _

_All the others too long gone, their terrified screams muffled out by gurgled growls, and wispy moans. They ran to a nearby veterinary building, locking themselves in from the massacre unfolding outside. _

_That’s where they stood the first 48 hours of the outbreak, in relative silence. No one dare speak in fear of drawing the massacre to their door._

* * *

Clarke had unwillingly taken on the leadership role among their small group, Bellamy having turned it down.

Being the only person with some medical knowledge helped, but the real reason they chose her was something she didn’t take pride in. 

She was the only one who didn’t shed a tear. It’s not that Clarke wasn’t shaken up by what had happened, because in truth she was rattled to her core. She felt like she had to cry, to mourn the life she once knew but would never get back, but her eyes remained clear and her cheeks remained dry. Maybe she cried so much when her dad was taken she has no more tears left to give. 

Instead she became the rock that no one asked for, the voice of reason when the silence could go on no further. She picked them up from the sullen, scared children they were and made them into the strong survivors they are today. She never asked for this, and if given the chance, would gladly step away. 

Yet here she was, a group of six now, still trudging through town after town. Hope slowly dwindling as the days turn into nights and the food becomes fewer and far between. 

_We’ll get through this, we’ll survive…_

Tap Tap

Bellamy knocked on the window snapping Clarke out of her reverie. Still looking towards the road, he slowed down pointing to a small cabin hidden behind some trees and deep foliage. Clarke nodded when brown eyes met her blue and he brought the truck to a stop. Stepping out of the flatbed Clarke unsheathed her blade from her thigh, Bellamy and Murphy preparing their weapons as well. She turned to Finn who still sat in the flatbed with Raven and Octavia.

“Were gonna go take a look, stay here with them” She pointed to the injured girls “Signal if anything happens” Finn nodded and she made her way towards the cabin, Bell and Murphy in tow.

“Keep the guns down for now, we don’t want to attract any unwanted company” Clarke said over her shoulder as they made their way to the cabin.

Looking at the outside it didn’t look like much. One bedroom, maybe two. The trees that surrounded the structure act as a disguise against the damaged world that surrounded it.

When they stepped on the front porch, the wood beneath their feet creaked with their added weight.

“The wood looks warped and unkempt” Bellamy spoke, running a hand along the wooden front door of the cabin “Doesn’t look like anyone’s been here for awhile”

“Wait, look” Clarke said nodding towards the two front windows. Being this close, she noticed the planks of wood that barricaded the structure from the inside. “Just keep your eyes open, there might be more than walkers here.” The one thing they feared more than the dead.

People.

Clarke took a deep breath motioning for Bellamy to take the lead, Murphy taking flank. The door was barricaded as well, having to use Murphy’s crowbar to pry it open. Once inside they quietly split in different directions, checking each room before calling an all clear. 

Walking into the living room, Clarke took a moment to capture what remnants of life still remained there. She did this with every home they entered since this started. Sometimes taking the time to draw the view in front of her in her sketchpad, not wanting to part with the image. 

Something about an untouched home made the blonde want to capture the memory and freeze it in time. Untouched by the death that surrounds them. Uninfluenced by the selfish anger of the living and unaffected by the ache for flesh from the dead. A house that only had the memories of a happier time. A time that, with each passing day, was slipping further from her mind.

To Clarke’s disappointment, this house was not part of the untouched. It had been ransacked and rifled through long ago. Empty cans and paper littered the wood floor, scattered throughout in a haphazard fashion. The cushions on the small couch were upturned and torn, the stuffing having been ripped out, most likely being used for kindling in the fireplace. There were blankets piled together in the middle of the room, the furniture having been pushed out of the way.

Walking closer, Clarke detected a gleam at the corner of her eye, coming from the fireplace. Turning her head, she noticed a pot hanging from a hook. Barely noticeable wisps of steam rising from the contents of the vessel. 

She froze. Eyes darting from the pot to the embers, still lucent, under the remainder of the wood.

“DONT MOVE!” Murphy’s voice bellowed through the cabin. Bellamy and Clarke were by his side in seconds. He was standing in the frame of the bedroom door, his back blocking the view of whatever or whomever he was speaking to.

“Please, we don’t want any trouble” A small male voice sounded from the room. Clarke creased her brow, he didn’t sound much older than them. Who knows how long he’s been here or how many are with him. Wait, he said we…

Realizing they didn’t have the time for this, Clarke pushes past Murphy so she can see for herself. Murphy goes tense as she passes, clearly not having much trust in these new people. She places a hand on his forearm and gently squeezed in hopes of calming him down. He relaxed slightly at her touch and nodded. Either actually making the decision to trust them or realizing it was a fight he wouldn’t win, he reluctantly stepped aside. Bellamy followed close behind her, rifle aimed and ready. Clearly not willing to take any risks.

When Clarke entered the room she wasn’t sure how many to expect. Seeing only two boys though, caught her by surprise. Not traveling in a group is a risk in itself. Yes, people are hard to trust in this world, but unfortunately their needed to survive it. 

Looking down at the two boys, now cowering in the corner of the room, they seemed to be around the same age as her. The first boy, unruly brunette waves layering his head, sunken eyes and a thin stature. The second, had a soft face and kind eyes. Neither looked threatening, just scared. Probably just as unsure of their intentions as they were of theirs.

Kneeling down so she was at their eye level. She smiled, her hand extending out in front of her in introduction before her brain even realized what she was doing.

“My names Clarke, and this is Bellamy and Murphy” She said pointing to her two friends behind her. Finally succumbing to the understanding that these boys were just lost and scared in need of someone good. And Clarke desperately wanted to still believe she was good. That there was at least an ounce of good left in her that wasn’t snuffed out by death and carnage.

_Good people still existed right?_

A throat was cleared, getting Clarke’s attention before slim fingers wrapped around her hand, squeezing gently.

“I’m jasper and this is Monty.” Jasper said, shaking Clarke’s hand and running it through his hair nervously. “W-we can leave if you guys want this place, we don’t want any trouble” 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s pretty shitty out there” Clarke verbalize, a hint of humor in her words. It earned a small smile from the pair, but the fear remained behind their chocolate eyes.

Clarke sighed, she knew better than to take on two more mouths to feed when they barely can feed themselves, but the thought of turning them away was something Clarke couldn’t do. This world was unforgiving and rotten in all senses of the word, and by the looks of these boys, she knew they wouldn’t last much longer. Their ribs were showing more than her own, and their skin a paper white against the dirt on their clothes. 

“You can stick with us” The words escaped Clarke’s mouth before she had a chance to stop them.

“You’re out of your damn mind!”

Clarke closed her eyes and sighed.

_Fuck_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay chapter three! Please leave any comments or suggestions you have. Thank you for the support and the kudos! Again, I do not have a beta so this is all edited by me, so if there are mistakes I do apologize.

“You’re out of your damn mind!”

Clarke closed her eyes and sighed.

_Fuck_

“Uh, Clarke” Bellamy spoke, hand rubbing the back of his neck, clearly uneasy about Murphy’s outburst “Can we talk for a minute?” he looked down at the strangers.

“In private” He signaled to the hallway as he stepped out of the room, Clarke and Murphy right on his heel.

They closed the door behind them, not wanting the boys to overhear the discussion. After what felt like minutes passed, Murphy was the first to break the silence

“Okay, what the actual fuck Clarke?!” Murphy’s voice rose with his concern, his eyebrows knitted together in frustration. He was tapping his crowbar against his leg erratically. Obviously channeling his anger somewhere besides directly at Clarke.

She remained silent, not breaking eye contact with him. She’s dealt with John Murphy long enough to know there is no talking to him when he’s like this. So she waits patiently until he calms and the crowbar goes limp in his hand, before she speaks.

“What do you suggest we do Murph? Huh? Just let them go? They’ll be killed!” Clarke threw her hands up in annoyance, this was something she didn’t think she’d have to explain. Especially to Murphy of all people.

“We don’t know if we can trust them” Murphy’s voice was dry and tense, trying to remain composed “they could be fucking with us to let our guards down just so they can stab us in the back!” 

“What the fuck is wrong with yo-”

“Murphy’s right” Bellamy’s voice cut off Clarke’s response, as she turned to look at the Blake boy, having had stayed quiet this entire time. “We’ve had some bad luck before and I don’t want to be oblivious this time”

“We don’t owe them anything” Murphy muttered

“Oh yeah?” Clarke spoke, anger getting the best of her. She couldn’t understand why she felt so strongly about this. She just knew the two boys in that room needed help, and she would damned if she let Murphy stop her from doing that.

“We didn’t owe you shit either Murph! We could have turned our backs and left you alone to die, but we didn’t! We put our faith in you and it hasn’t backfired yet.” she inched her way closer to Murphy, chest out and eyes narrow.

“You would have died out there Murph, and you know it” She said the last part in a whisper only he could hear. 

His shoulders slumped in defeat, knowing she was right. If they had left him, he wouldn’t have lasted a week on his own. Joining the group gave him purpose and strength he never would have found on his own. He made friends and found a reason to continue surviving and if they have a chance to do that for someone else, they have to try.

He exhaled slowly and nodded once, no longer willing to fight the inevitable. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, turning around to see Bellamy staring at her, a small smile playing on his lips. 

“Whatever you say goes Princess, you know that” He looked towards the bedroom door, the smile on his lips fading “But I don’t trust them, so I’m not letting them out of my sight”

“I wouldn’t want you to” Clarke breathes out “Alright” shrugging the stress from her shoulders she looks at her two friends.

“Let’s get the others inside and get introductions out of the way. We need to figure out our next step.”

* * *

When the group was settled Clarke had immediately addressed Ravens leg. Cleaning and stitching the large gash. They fixed the cushions on the couch, so they can place Raven gently down. Separating the remaining blankets so each had their own place to sleep. Clarke shaking her head when offered her own.

Jasper was by the fireplace currently scooping out bowls of the stew he made earlier. Clarke was at the table in the corner, leaning back in the chair, arms crossed. She closed her eyes, unable to keep them open any longer, she drifted into a nightmare induced sleep.

Screams.

Blood.

Flesh.

Death.

_Death…_

Clarke wakes suddenly, hand going to the hilt of her blade. Looking around the room it was dimly lit from the fireplace. Everyone lay sound asleep, only sounds being soft snores and rustling of blankets as they stirred.

Clarke sat up, leaning over, her elbows on her knees for support. Wiping the sleep from her eyes she counted the slumbering heads in the room.

_Six_

She counted three times, just to make sure, before standing up and making her way to the hallway in hopes of finding their missing member. 

Eyes adjusting she noticed the wood on the floor, once used to barricade the backdoor. She reached for her blade, walking towards the source she noticed the back door, slightly ajar, an apparition appearing on the other side. Picking up her pace she reached for the nob, hoping to lock whatever it was out before it made it’s way in.

Fingers wrapped around the door frame struggling against Clarke’s weight on the other side. Realizing her strength wasn’t enough she reached for her blade, removing it from it’s holster. Taking a deep breath she released the door, shoving the intruder into the wall as they entered, holding the blade to their throat. 

A soft familiar chuckle invaded her ears. The person no longer struggling beneath her. 

“Hey there Princess” She could feel Bellamy’s breath on her cheek as she sighed in relief, removing the blade from his throat. 

“Bellamy? What the hell are you doing? I could have killed you!” Clarke hissed through gritted teeth, trying to keep her voice at a whisper in consideration of the sleeping group in the other room.

“Honestly? I had to take a piss” Bellamy said, gripping the back of his neck “and that bathroom is an infection of it’s own” he pointed down the hallway.

“Okay whatever, but wake someone up next time will you? It’s not safe out there alone” Clarke said, eyeing the dark void within the tree line just outside, before closing the door. 

Bellamy scoffed, crossing the hall and grabbing a hammer on the side table. 

“It’s not safe anywhere” He grabbed a plank on the floor and, as quietly as possible, hammered it back into place. “Doesn’t matter where or who with” He handed the hammer to Clarke not letting go, leaning in, noses inches apart. His other arm above her shoulder, hand flat against the wall, trapping her in place.

Clarke rolled her eyes, lifting her arm, knocking his off the wall. Hand still holding the hammer she narrowed her eyes.

“Yeah, well _next_ time bring someone with you” She said through gritted teeth. She was far too tired to deal with Bellamy’s uncomfortable form of flirting. She finds her personal space something she relishes. Constantly being in close quarters with others since even before the infection, she cant help but enjoy a little distance from people.

Bellamy smirked, slowly nodding.

“You got it Princess” he whispered in her ear, letting go of the hammer and walking passed her, heading towards the rest of the group.

“Good night” he called over his shoulder.

Clarke rolled her eyes, putting her fingers to the bridge of her nose in exhaustion, no energy left to muster a response. Acknowledging this will be another sleepless night she resided in the foyer 

Pulling a chair closer to the front door, she sat, looking to the outside from an opening between the barricading planks. Calloused fingers wrapped around the hammer still in her hands, on alert and ready for any surprises. 

She had nearly fallen victim to the sleep her eyes and body so desperately craved, but with every second her eyes succumb to the darkness behind her lids, the violent memories resurfaced. Tucked in the deepest recess of her mind, only to come crawling out to terrorize her in her dreams. Shattered by the images she can’t escape from within her slumbered state, she jolts awake. Refusing to let her exhaustion take hold again.

* * *

The next morning when everyone was awake and slightly more energized then the night before, they decided to figure out their next step. 

Jasper was currently mulling over their food supply, trying to figure out what to make everyone for breakfast. Raven was still laying on the couch, her legs carefully draped over Monty’s thigh, in a deep conversation with the boy. They found out they both had similar knowledge of engineering and Tech. Not meeting someone with the same interests in a long time, Raven couldn’t keep the smile from her face.

Clarke, Octavia, Bellamy, Finn and Murphy all stood circling the round kitchen table, two maps lay flat on the table. One, a large map, showing them their boundary states. The other, a smaller map, detailing the city they currently bordered.

Polis.

Clarke’s eyes flicked rapidly between the two maps. The group having been arguing for the last half hour about where to go. 

“Regardless, Raven is in no way able to travel right now.” Clarke finally spoke, having stayed silent this entire time, contemplating their situation. “We need to figure out a place to scavenge for food and supplies.”

“This place isn’t exactly the most fortified Clarke” Octavia pointed out.

“Besides, were not exactly far away from that horde from yesterday” Murphy chimed in, clearly displeased with the possibility of staying. “Like twenty miles, maybe more, but you know they won’t be far behind.”

Clarke groaned in annoyance. She knew they were right, but what other choice did they have? If Raven’s stitches tore on the trip, there is no guarantee Clarke would be able to stitch her up again without causing permanent damage to her leg. Not to mention her chances of bleeding to death.

_No._ Clarke shook her head

“It doesn’t matter, we can’t go anywhere right now so there’s no point in arguing about it. We’ll figure out a better way to fortify when we come back from the supply run.” She said with finality, daring anyone to dispute her. 

Murphy crossed his arms and scowled in response, realizing there was no point in arguing. 

“Okay” Bellamy said, speaking for the first time “Then where should we scout? I’m sure this place is just as picked clean as the rest.” 

“Not necessarily” Finn spoke, looking down at the small map on the table. “I spoke to Jasper and Monty last night and they said this place wasn’t completely empty when they got here”

Octavia creased her brow “That doesn’t mean there’s other places with supplies.”

“Yes, but it also doesn’t mean there’s not” Bellamy countered, looking towards his sister. He could always tell when she was anxious or nervous about something. If he was honest with himself, since she was knocked out, he hasn’t wanted her overexerting herself any more than she has to. 

“You can stay here with Rae, O” Bell said softly in her direction. She met his eyes, with a fierce determination behind her brown hues.

“Hell no. You can’t survive in this world just sitting in the corner Bell.” She squared her jaw and looked to Clarke “I’m in”

“But-” Bellamy tried to protest, before Octavia cut him off. 

“No.” She held her hand up to silence him. “This is my decision and I can’t just sit here and be useless.”

“Okay” Clarke finally spoke, breaking up the bickering siblings. “Then we’ll take out a small group and hit a couple houses” She grabbed a pencil and marked a route on the map “Clean sweep. In and out” Everyone nodded, acknowledging the plan.

“Just be careful of the mountain” The group jumped as Jasper walked in, clearly having heard the last of their conversation.

“What’s up with the mountain?” Finn asked, speaking for the whole room.

“Nobody really knows. They were some kind of military base of some sort before all this. Maybe a science facility?” Jasper questioned himself, and shrugged not having an exact answer. “We had another person with us, her name was Maya…” He trailed off, clearly thinking of a past memory, a soft rim of tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “I- we don’t know if she’s alive or not. When people go in there, they don’t come back out” He paused thinking about his next words.

“Well not breathing anyway…”

Silence filled the room for a few minutes, everyone soaking in the information.

“Well that’s cryptic as fuck” Murphy snorted rolling his eyes, clearly not buying anything Jasper’s saying. 

“Where’s this mountain?” Clarke asked, handing over the pencil and map “Mark it on here, and we’ll avoid the area”

Jasper nodded, straightening his back. Grabbing the items from Clarke and doing as instructed. Handing the map back to Clarke he gripped her wrist when she went to pull away.

“Be careful” brown eyes met blue “They set traps. Even if you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they can’t see you” She gave a brief nod, turning back to the others so they can devise their plan.

* * *

They decided on a small group of four. 

Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia, and Murphy.

Grabbing their weapons, map and a few empty backpacks. Deciding it was best to leave the truck in case of an emergency, they went on foot. Knowing there wasn’t much gas left in the tank anyway, made the decision easier.

Since finding out about the mountain, Clarke can’t help but feel a small ball of unease settle in her chest. Jasper’s knowledge wasn’t much, and Clarke couldn’t help but feel like she was going into this supply run blind. 

Not just having to worry about the walkers, but now dangerous people. 

She swallowed the lump in her throat as they made their way to the third house on their run, the first two having gone seemingly well. walking out with a few cans of food felt like a success. 

The third run was a small farmhouse on a vast amount of land, seemingly free of any sign that scavengers had been there. Murphy took lookout as the others made there way into the house. 

Walking into the kitchen they opened the cabinets to multiple stacked cans and a few gallons of drinkable water. 

“Jackpot!” Octavia yelled in excitement, grabbing the supplies and shoving them into her backpack. Bellamy following suit.

Clarke’s heart started racing. Why would there be so many supplies in one place out in the open? It should have been cleaned out long ago.

_Something wasn’t right._

Just as the thought crossed Clarke’s mind she heard a shot ring out from the front of the house.

“Clarke! We’ve got company!” Murphy screamed, barreling into the front door and closing it quickly behind him. Clarke came around the corner from the kitchen, looking towards Murphy she could see the panic in his eyes.

“It’s them isn’t it?” Bellamy spoke from behind Clarke, walking towards the front window and peering outside. 

Clearly realizing they walked straight into one of the mountains traps, Clarke took a deep breath, searching the house for possible exits. Looking out the back window she noticed two men in bulky white suits. 

“What’s with the suits?” Octavia asked, clearly noticing the two guys in the front of the house were wearing them as well. 

Peering out the window, Clarke noticed them removing a plastic barrel from their truck. Getting a closer look as they approached she noticed a skull and cross bones painted to the front, along with the word ‘CAUTION’

Not wanting to find out what they use that stuff for, Clarke took her backpack off. She gripped the handgun in her hands and threw her bag at Bellamy.

“Take my bag, and when I give the signal use the back door and get back to the base” Clarke ordered, checking the gun to make sure it’s loaded and the safety is off.

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Octavia asked, the concern laced in her voice.

“They take people O, and god knows what they do with them. That” Clarke said, pointing outside to the plastic barrel that they were now attaching a hose to. “Is something I’m not familiar with and I’m not taking any risks.”

“What makes you think you can get away?” What if they take you too?” Bellamy asked, finally speaking up about her plan.

“Then they take me Bell.” Clarke stated the obvious. She could see the sadness in their eyes, but before they could protest she continued.

“Listen, I’m not looking to get taken here. You know I’m going to fight like hell, but it’s either all of us or one of us right now.” Blue meets brown as she looks to Bellamy.

“I’ll be right behind you guys, don’t worry” She gave them a smile to ease their discomfort, even though it did nothing to ease hers. 

She made her way to the front door, looking back over her shoulder to make sure the other three were positioned at the back, she gripped the handle. Turning it slowly and opening it up just enough to stick the barrel of her gun out, she spoke to the strangers for the first time.

“I don’t want any trouble! Don’t make me shoot!” She yelled out, barely noticing the smirks that filled their faces under the thick masks of their suits, a small ball of anger building in the pit of her stomach. They were just playing with her, like this was some sick game they took satisfaction in. 

The only answer that came was the hose coming through one of the front windows, sending glass scattering to the floor. 

Everyone froze staring at the alien object, she could hear something being turned on and a faint green fog rolled out of the opening of the hose. Furrowing her brow in confusion she reached a hand out to the foreign object only to feel a sharp sting hit the skin of her hand. Hissing she looked down at her palm, noticing her skin was burning; bubbling up as she watched. 

Her eyes widened in realization, looking to the others who were watching her like hawks. 

“Don’t Breathe!” She screamed as another hose came through the window on her other side. Careful not to breathe in any of the fog, she covered her mouth and opened the front door all the way. Gun in front of her she pulled the trigger on the first man she saw making his way up the porch steps, watching the blood spew from his shoulder. 

She could hear the men in the back of the house making their way to the front and she took a quick glance behind her. 

The back door was open, Murphy and Octavia already gone, as she made eye contact with Bellamy. There was a sadness in his eyes and she nodded once in his direction giving him the signal to leave. He looked down, clearly trying to decide if leaving was the best option before he lifted his head and mouthed ‘may we meet again. Turning back around and running out the door, letting it slam behind him.

Breathing a sigh of relief she kept her gun trained on the wounded man in front of her, closing the door behind her to keep the burning air from reaching her lungs. She had to keep their eyes on her so the others can get away. It was the only way she can guarantee their safety.

“Get. Up.” Clarke hissed through gritted teeth, she was in no mood for dramatics. Her only goal was to get back to her group. A sharp chuckle escaped the injured mans lips as he slowly stood up, hand covering the wound on his shoulder. 

“You’re outnumbered sweetheart.” He spat, gesturing towards the three other men who stood behind him. “Just give up and we promise we’ll be gentle” 

Clarke growled then, the anger growing until she could feel the boil within her blood as it flowed through her veins. She didn’t take kindly to being talked down to and the way he called her ‘sweetheart’ made her grit her teeth. 

She’s only killed a handful of uninfected since this all began, feeling the need to preserve the human race as much as possible. Only having to take lives in self defense and in times of survival. 

This man was her only chance and if she played her cards right she might walk out of this unscathed. Taking him as a hostage, offering his life for hers. That would be the smart way, a way to almost guarantee her life.

Yet, when she looked at the man that stood before her she didn’t feel he deserved preservation. She could see the death behind his gray eyes. No remorse, just a selfish man who took pleasure in others pain.

“I’m not your sweetheart” It was barely a whisper, and like watching herself in third person she could see her finger twitching on the trigger, fighting against her own instincts.

She lost that fight.

Pulling the trigger she watched as his eyes widened, hands gripping the new hole in his chest as he dropped to his knees. He choked softly, blood escaping his lips, as he fell face first. 

Just as his head hit the floor, her breath was knocked out of her as one of the men rammed his shoulder into her stomach, slamming her to the ground. 

Pounding her fists into the mans chest, desperately trying to break free of his grasp, she could feel the tendrils of panic growing in the pit of her stomach. Sending one of her closed fists directly into his face, he hissed, blood flowing from the new gash on his lip.

“Enough!” He screamed, blood and spit flying from his mouth to land on Clarke’s face. “You stupid little bitch!” He took both of her wrists within one of his hands holding them above her head. “You’re gonna pay for that” He gritted as his hold on her tightened.

Panic took hold, as she desperately tried to squirm from his grip. She could feel his nails digging into her wrists from her resistance. He lifted his other fist sending it directly into Clarke’s ribs. She gasped in pain, her body contorting to try and block his blows. He continued his assault, punch after punch in her abdomen, waiting for her to go limp beneath him.

When he finally relented Clarke thought she had gotten the worst of it, that maybe that was all he would do and they would just take her and be done with it. 

That was until she felt rough calloused fingers wrap around her neck, squeezing, suddenly cutting off her airway. She gasped, hands going straight to the ones on her throat, trying urgently to remove the obstruction to her breathing. 

Realizing her attempts were futile, her legs started kicking erratically, attempting to push the mans weight off of her.

She could see darkness start to rim her vision as her body began to shut down, feeling her pulse start to slow under the mans grip. She looked up then, finally making eye contact with her assailant. 

He smiled manically at the blonde, his veins popping out from his neck from the force of his hold. She felt her body go limp as her hands released his and fell to the floor.

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, the darkness starting to close in on her vision. 

The last thing she saw, before the darkness consumed her, was a name scrawled on the uniform of her attacker.

_Emerson._


	4. Mount Weather

Clarke woke up with the sharpest pain in her head she had experienced in her life. It started as a dull sensation behind her eyes, turning into a searing ache that slowly crept its way to the back of her neck. 

When she was finally able to open her eyes all that greeted her was a bright iridescent light.

_Hospital. I’m in a hospital?_

Just as the thought came to the forefront of her mind it was whisked away by the moans and screams that invaded her ears a second later. Finally gaining enough sense to take in her surroundings, she noticed the bars that encased her, the dried blood caked to her body, and the bruises beginning to show on her arms. 

_Needle marks?_

Her eyes grew wide as a small pit of fear rumbled low in her belly. Looking up she can see the hundreds of cages surrounding her, people looking just like her or worse all filling them. Laying sight on what her ears had picked up earlier in her hazy awakening. 

Shuffling herself until she was on her knees she grabbed at the bars in front of her, pulling and pushing attempting to discover some weak point; someway to make her escape.

"Don't bother, you wont get anywhere." A firm female voice echoed out to her right. 

Glancing over she took in a woman older than her, but not by much. Dark blonde hair, a few shades darker than hers. It was hanging just passed her shoulders, tangled and disheveled falling across her dirt covered face. A couple noticeable braids, tousled and pulled, barely keeping together. 

She seemed stronger than most that surrounded them, chin still held firm and unwavering despite what she must have been through.

Clarke must have held a questioning gaze because the woman continued despite a response.

"I've been here for about a month now. Trust me, there's no way out." She leaned against the bars facing Clarke, clearly on the verge of giving up like the rest of these people, but hanging on by the thinnest thread. 

"I'm not going to just sit here and let them do whatever they want with me" Clarke choked out, not realizing how hoarse her voice had became. "There has to be some weak point somewhere. A point of entry that isn't as heavily guarded as the rest." She whispered to herself not realizing exactly how loud she was being.

"I only know of one door that isn't guarded with guns, but it isn't exactly the smartest option either." The girl said, smirking as she leaned over a little closer so Clarke could hear her better over the barrage of cries and screams echoing throughout the room. 

"My names Anya by the way, formalities out of the way and all..." She said reaching her hand through the bars as a gesture of faith.

Clarke wasn’t really sure if she can trust this new girl. Though given the situation she was currently in and considering the girl was in the same predicament, she didn't really think she had much of a choice.

"Clarke" She responded, reaching out her hand to greet Anya with a handshake. Instead, feeling firm fingers grip her forearm and lay a gentle squeeze, she reacted on instinct and mimicked the action to the woman in front of her. Pulling back she met determined brown eyes staring back at her.

"So what exactly is going on here?" Clarke asked, but before Anya could give an answer they heard the doors to their left open and the entire room went silent. You could hear a pin drop with the silence that enveloped the room, the only noise being two pairs of boots echoing down the hallway of cages. Then there was silence as the boots stopped; reaching their destination. 

"Experiment 134, final extraction time sixteen hundred hours." One of the guards sounded off. 

"No! no, please!" A woman begged, fear projected in every word. 

Clarke closed her eyes, not wanting to chance seeing the scene unfold in front of her, wishing she could do the same with her ears. A guard seemed to grab a card from his belt, a beep sounded and the cage was unlocked, the girl clearly trying to fight her way out of her captors grip. A groan was let out as a body hit the floor, she had to grit her teeth to subdue the anger that was swelling within her.

_Who do these people think they are? What kind of experiments can condone such inhumanity?_

She was snapped out of her thoughts when the two guards passed her, dragging the unconscious body of the girl behind them, walking through white double doors in the front of the room. 

_Experiment 134 they called her..._ Anya cleared her throat to get her attention, tearing her away from her thoughts. 

"Your collarbone" Anya said motioning with her hand to her own, pulling down her shirt to reveal the newly scabbing brand. ‘211’ was burned into the surface of her skin, a red hue around the brand showing possible infection after weeks of festering. Clarke's eyes widened as she reluctantly looked down at her own. 

Now just noticing the fading burn of her skin beneath her shirt. Taking a deep breath she pulled down the collar of her shirt to reveal a much more fresh version of the other woman’s brand on her skin. 

"228" She exhaled softly, touching the swollen skin gently assessing her wound to the best of her ability. Biting her lip against the pain, she replaced her shirt over the brand and turned her attention to the brown eyed girl in the cell next to her.

"What do they want with us?" Clarke asked, slight malice in her tone for being branded as someones property. As someones toy they can use, abuse and discard the moment she doesn't fit into their experiment.

Anya must have understood.

"I don't exactly know their endgame, but they extract our blood." She looked down "and the ones that become too weak, no longer useful, are escorted through those doors" she pointed to the two white double doors at the front of the room the girl was just unwillingly dragged through. Sighing her fingers going to her temples, rubbing in circles.

"Nobody comes back when they go through there." It was a whisper, barely noticeable, but Clarke heard.

There was a long minute of silence that befell the two woman as Clarke tried to process her words. Looking back down at her arms the needle marks make sense now if they were extracting their blood. 

"I think they're trying to come up with a cure" Anya sighed. "A few times they took me in for extraction I passed a couple labs with rotters. Looked like they were injecting them with various things" Anya finally said, breaking up the silence "How they can reverse any of this bullshit is beyond me." She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the bars again. 

"It doesn't matter what their endgame is. This is barbaric and disgusting. Humans aren't supposed to be treated as property or an experiment to be tortured and killed." Clarke said through gritted teeth. 

Anya smiled, eyebrow raised in amusement, clearly not expecting such a response from the blonde. 

"Alright there Blondie, I'm not the enemy here remember" Anya said, hands in front of her in surrender, Clarke just sighed and nodded in response leaning back to get off her knees, coming to the understanding that she'll be there for awhile. 

"First, if we're going to get out of here I need to know that you're in." Clarke said, looking back to Anya with a determined look on her face. 

"Cause I don't know about you, but I'm not dying here." 

Anya half smiled gripping the bars and leaning as close as she can to Clarke so she was the only one who can hear.

"I'll sooner go out fighting then let these assholes take me willingly" her words seething through gritted teeth "What's the plan?"

"I don’t know what lays beyond the unguarded doors, but looking around I don’t think we have another option" Clarke sighed "Also not having weapons is a problem" she took a deep breath, memorizing the room around her.

Noticing they only keep one guard positioned inside the room at the front near the white double doors. Only one gun, and a baton in his holster. 

"We'll have to wait for the right time, but I'm sure they have a universal key card for these cells" Clarke thought aloud, thinking back to the sounds she heard before the girls cell door was opened.

"Yeah each guard has one, they usually walk out in pairs when they're extracting people" Anya stated, getting on the same train of thought as Clarke. 

"So only three armed guards would be in our vicinity-" Clarke thought aloud, trying to fuse all the wires together to formulate a proper plan. 

Regardless at this point no matter what they decide they'll be walking (or rather running) into the unknown. Looking back to Anya she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before continuing.

"It's not going to be easy, so if you're having second thoughts-"

"Jus drein jus daun" Anya cut her off, brown eyes meeting blue. Before Clarke could ask her what that meant, the other blonde proceeded, leaning over with a half smile curling on her lips.

"Lead the way Blondie"

* * *

[Hour 13:00 (1 o’clock)]

A week. It took a full week for them to get to Clarke to extract her blood the second time. She only ever saw a guard when they were throwing stale bread in her cage or a canteen almost bone dry, with just enough water remaining to keep her alive.

Only once a day was she allowed to stretch her legs to use the bathroom. The ‘bathroom’ was a communal bucket they bring to you, forcing you to do your business right in front of your cage, for everyone else to see. It was callous, and deprecating. Their way of slowly weakening your mind, your resolve on reality.

She was growing weaker by the day, which she thought was their full intention. Anya told her when she first got brought here, after her first extraction, they didn't attempt another for two full weeks after, and then it's a weekly thing. 

_I cant wait that long, I wont have enough strength._

Just as the thought crossed her mind, she heard the doors on the opposite side of the room swing open, followed by the sharp sounds of two pairs of boots on the floor. She looked over to Anya who was already sat up, eyes vigilant, obviously hearing the door as well.

"This has to be it. I don't think were going to get a second chance" Clarke whispered in Anya’s direction alerting her to the plan ahead.

"Now or never" Anya reaches her hand out in gesture like the first time they met. Clarke goes for her forearm this time, knowing her partners preferred way of greeting. She feels calloused fingers wrap themselves around her arm and squeeze gently. 

"Oso throu daun ogeda" Anya smiled in reassurance but before Clarke could ask her what that meant her cage was being opened. 

"Experiment 228, extraction time thirteen hundred hours" The guards voice alerted Clarke to their presence and she was being forcefully yanked out. 

She has thought about this moment every second of everyday mapping out the room, the items that surround her, the possible weapons. Her photographic memory coming in handy. Each day, correcting it, fixing it. Making a plan B and a plan C. She refused to be here any longer. She can't begin to imagine being here for over a month. Just a week with the bare essentials to keep her alive and she was already so weak she couldn't even stand when they pulled her from her prison. 

Her legs gave out the second they hit the floor; the guards not having a firm enough initial grip to catch her as she fell. Face coming into contact with the floor she grunted from the pain, silently glad she landed on the side of her face instead of directly on her nose. 

“Oh Come on!" One of the guards yelled in annoyance

"Wait, she's the one that killed Bryan…" The other guard to his left whispered. His muddy green eyes reaching her ocean blues.

Clarke took in a deep breath, knowing what was coming. 

"Stupid bitch!" The first guard yelled connecting the tip of his boot to her ribs, the other guard doing the same. Both of them not relenting till they heard a scream escape her lips. 

Knowing they can't kill her, not if they truly needed her. They finally reached their hands under her arms to lift her up. Clarke stole a chance to look at Anya, there was concern written all over her face. Clearly she wasn't expecting this to happen. 

Clarke was. 

She knew that there was a fair chance one of the two guards that finally came to get her would recognize her. All week she's been surprised that not one guard had recognized her throughout her imprisonment. Of course it would happen now. It was clear they were not accustomed to one girl getting the jump on one of their guys. 

Everyday she waited to see the guard that took her down, Emerson. The name was burned into her memory. The image of the man angry and unyielding on top of her a constant reminder of how she got here.

She was escorted into the rooms to her left, thankfully not the white doors. she wasn't sure after the interaction with the guards if they would still find her useful for extraction, or maybe... something else. 

They no longer saw her as much of a threat, not even bothering with handcuffs or restraints. She gulped, the remaining bit of saliva coating the back of her dry throat. 

Knowing she already had this done once before is only slightly comforting. looking around seeing the medical bay she seemed to have been guided to, a slight sheen of sweat started beading on her forehead. 

She wasn't really sure exactly what she was walking into. Anya could only tell her so much because once your in the chair, they knock you out, and you wake up in your cell a couple hours and a few more needles marks later.

Clarke looked around the room she was led into, memorizing anything she could see. Anya had given her a brief description of the room from what she could remember. Clarke had to hold back her excitement when she noticed the tray of surgical tools in the corner of the room exactly where Anya had recalled it. 

Locking her eyes on the one thing she came for, the scalpel. She was escorted to the bed in the center of the room and looked up as someone entered. She was a slim looking woman in a white lab coat, Clarke wasn't paying too much attention to her though, continuing to map the room out. This was her only chance.

She took a deep breath silently praying that Anya’s recounts of her time in this room were accurate. Knowing all too well once they sedate you, you can't really trust what your mind shows you. She smiled inwardly to herself when the guards left the room to remain just outside the door, leaving it only slightly ajar. Clarke looked towards the woman for the first time then, noticing her back was to her when she began to speak.  
"Just relax, this wont take long." The woman murmured her back still turned, obviously not addressing Clarke as much of a threat.  
Thankful again she wasn't handcuffed Clarke slowly lifted herself from the bed, trying to be as silent as she could. Steadying herself against the bed when her feet touched the floor, causing the bed to creak. The woman looked over eyebrow raised as she noticed Clarke half off the bed.

_Shit._

"I- Uh I'm sorry I just wanted to stretch my legs" Clarke stumbled, trying to think of anything that could be convincing. That seemed to do it though as the woman nodded once.

"That's fine, you may stand for now. But remain where you are or-" The woman's eyes flicked towards the door, obviously referring to the two guards still stationed out there.  
Clarke nodded with a smile.

"Of course. Thank you" The woman turned back around with no response, just kept prepping her equipment.

Clarke stood there for a minute trying to gain the feeling back in her legs, running her fingers along her side, wincing slightly at the pressure. She was slightly concerned one of her ribs was broken but she had to put that to the back of her mind for now. She needed to escape. 

Looking back over at the surgical tools on the table she thought of her options. Knowing that they would sedate her she knew there was no way of telling if they'd search her before locking her back up. The only thing keeping her from her freedom was a weapon and the right person. She looked back over to the woman and sighed, knowing her only option at this point, hoping Anya was really ready. Now or never.

She took one hesitant step in front of her, looking back over at lab coat. She didn't notice, and Clarke could hear from the distinct chatter coming from just outside the door that the guards weren't alerted either. She closed her eyes, heart beating frantically in her chest; she took one deep breath calming her nerves. Taking three quick steps to the table she grabbed the scalpel quickly.

"Okay, just lay back down and we can beg-" The woman was cut off by a blade being held to her throat. Clarke was behind her in seconds, gripping the woman's shoulder with her free hand she turned her around so her body was shielding her. Back to Clarke's front, they started walking towards the door. 

"You wont get far you know. This wont work out in your favor" The woman breathed out, fear evident in her voice.

"You're important. I'm sure there aren't very many doctors and scientists left, they wont risk you" Clarke said, putting further pressure on the blade, a small trickle of blood spilling from the wound. Clarke leaned her voice barely a whisper.

"You're my way out and if you want to live, you'll cooperate." The woman nodded in understanding, seeming to stop her struggle realizing Clarke was stronger. 

“Good, now do you have a key card like the guards do? The ones that open the cell doors?”

The woman nodded, “Yes they’re universal cards, they work on all the doors” lab coat paused, contemplating something before continuing. “You won’t be able to free everyone before the guards sound the alert” Her voice was shaky barely above a whisper now, but Clarke heard just fine. She pressed the blade a little deeper to make her point clear before speaking. 

“I don’t need all of them open, I just need one” Clarke turns the woman around to face her, blade still pressed firmly to her neck. She leans in, nose against nose and says the next words with finality. “Don’t think for one second we wont be back for the rest” she grits her teeth, anger welling inside her chest “And when we do, I’m going to make sure this entire mountain gets burned to the ground.”

* * *

[Hour 14:30 (2:30 pm)]

On alert and waiting for Clarke, Anya couldn't help but feel uneasiness squirm within her lower belly. Having already tried three times to escape on her own, only to have all hope lost every time, made Anya nervous about this attempt as well. She was eager to get back to her people, rally them together and bring them back to take down the mountain once and for all.

Her home, a small place at first glance, was the heart of a civilian territorial division. The territory, known as the coalition, consisted of twelve separate outposts all run by different leadership. Polis tower was the center of all operations, all twelve outposts were set up within the city, surrounding the tower on all sides, miles apart.

When she was taken she was on a small reconnaissance mission around her assigned outpost, Trikru. She was with a small group of five men at her command, given the orders to walk the perimeters and return with a report by sundown.

When they were attacked it was a surprise to say the least. The mountain men had a small base they set up right outside of the borders of Trikru district. They had been watching the Trikru outposts for awhile, having memorized their routes. 

Anya was clearing out some Z’s from a nearby house outside of the post. Snuffing out the last Z, she turned to sound out the ‘all clear’ when various unknown objects were thrown through the windows of the house. A faint green fog began encompassing the air around her, feeling a sharp pain deep within her chest she held her breath. Trying desperately not to breathe in anymore of the foreign smoke, she fell to the floor and army crawled her way to the front door. Upon reaching it she ran out quickly gasping desperately for fresh air when she felt a sharp pain shoot through the back of her head, and everything went black.

When she woke up she was within the confines of the mountain. No longer Anya of Trikru, but experiment 211. No longer a human trying to survive, but a research protect kept barely alive.

Scurrying feet on the cold concrete shook Anya from her thoughts. Leaning against the bars to get a better look, she couldn’t tell who they were. She could only tell it wasn’t a guard by how the feet shuffled, hoping it was Clarke.  
“Don’t move!” The guard positioned at the door yelled. Anya jumped at the sound of a gun being fired, hearing the loud thump of a body hit the floor. Fear gripped her in place as her eyes frantically searched for the cause of the commotion.  
When blonde toughs of hair can be seen rounding the corner Anya let out a sigh of relief. It was only momentary before she noticed their wasn’t a hostage with her. The plan was to take a hostage to make their way out of the mountain easier, using them as a map to their escape.   
Now standing in front of the cage, Clarke began rummaging frantically through the lab coat pockets she was now wearing, searching for the key card.   
Anya took the moment to study the blonde in front of her. Her hands, that now disappearing into various pockets, were bloody, the crimson color leaving streaks on the crisp white coat as they moved. Drops of blood splattered across the girls cheeks, now a pale sheen compared to the light rose they were before. Her eyes, that were once a soft blue, the color of sky, were now dark and glassy. Her fingers were shaking, trembling from the adrenalin of the situation.   
When the door beeped and she heard the familiar click of the door unlocking, she quickly slung the cage open, stepping out carefully as not to put too much strain on her weak legs. She looked at Clarke, who held out both hands, a hand gun in one and a baton in the other.   
“Take your pick, we don’t have much time” Clarke spoke, her voice sounded small and far away. Anya chose the baton, taking it from Clarke and gripping it tightly in her hands. It felt good to have a weapon again.  
“What happened to the plan? What went wrong?” Anya asked, finally voicing the question that’s been on her mind since the blondes return. Clarke just shook her head, a deep regret within the blues of her eyes. She opened her mouth to answer but was cut short by a high pitched alarm, blaring throughout the facility. Red and orange lights started flickering throughout, warning anyone in the mountain to their escape attempt.  
“No time, we need to go” Clarke said, motioning for Anya to follow her.  
Stepping over the guards body they made their way out into the corridor separating the labs from the cells. Anya looked up to see a camera positioned in the corner, the red light blinking indicating someone was watching them. Rounding the corner of the hallway they could hear the clattering of hard boots on the tile floors, guards making their way to them.  
Her eyes scanned the hallway and stopped when they landed on a metal door, the only door never guarded. Upon closer look she noticed that it was locked down tight. Not having many options and being seconds away from being forced in that cage again, Anya grabbed Clarke’s hand and ran for the door.  
“Use the card! Now!” Anya yelled, eyes wide with urgency. Clarke grabbed the card out of the lab coat she still wore. Hovering the key over the slot, she stopped.  
“We have no idea if this even leads to the outside” She turned to Anya, hoping that maybe she knew more than she let on.  
“I don’t know if it leads directly outside” Anya said, placing her hand on top of Clarke’s that was still holding the card “But were out of options” She forced Clarke’s hand and the key slid with ease, a soft beep and green light letting them know it unlocked.

Knowing the guards weren’t far behind, Anya didn’t hesitate as she grabbed Clarke’s hand again and ran inside, shutting the door with a loud click.

Eyes adjusting to the new darkness that surrounded them, they remained silent as they waited for the feet on the other side of the door to dissipate down the hall. Finally able to see the silhouette of Clarke next to her she looked around and her heart sank.  
They were standing in what looked to be some cave system that ran through the mountains. Clarke jolted suddenly next to her, turning her head slightly and sticking an ear out.  
“You hear that?” Clarke whispered.  
“Wha-” Anya was cut off by a Z running, at full speed, in their direction from the darkness of the cave. The clothes it wore looked to be one of the prisoners uniforms. A mask covering it’s face, a small slit at the mouth exposing it’s teeth.  
Clarke gasped as it ran at her, teeth first, knocking her to the ground. It sprung on her body with all of it’s weight, snapping it’s jaw, desperately trying to get a taste. It’s strength began to overpower Clarke’s as it’s saliva hit her cheek, running down in a thick line. She screamed out in panic as Anya rammed the blunt end of the baton into it’s skull, taking it’s weight off of the blonde.  
Clarke groaned as she stood, wiping the saliva from her face. The Z was now writhing on the floor, body curling in on itself as it howled in pain. The gash on it’s head fully open, blood and bile spilling from the wound. Anya’s furrowed her brow in confusion as she watched the Z convulse.  
“How is it still moving?” Clarke asked, eyes roaming over the Z curiously.  
“I have no idea… How the hell was it running? That thing took you down hard” Anya said, watching as the Z tried to stand but fell back to the floor with a growl.  
“Stronger than it should be, too” Clarke stated, kneeling in front of the downed Z, still keeping a good distance between them. She reached her hand out pulling the mask from its head.

“Shit” Anya breathed out in disbelief. Looking at the Z in front of her, it’s eyes had been ripped out, the skin on it’s face was bubbling up and festering. It looked like it was forced into an acid bath. The hair that remained on it’s head was stringy and thin. Nothing human remained in it’s features.   
“Look” Clarke pointed to the numbers burned into the collar bone of the infected. Anya’s stomach tightened as she stared at the digits, now recognizing the Z in front of her.  
“Experiment 134…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have Anya! Don't worry though Lexa will be making an appearance soon! Just have to escape from Mount Weather first! 
> 
> I also want to give a big thank you to anyone who has left a Kudo or a comment. Please let me know if you like it so far, it really gives me inspiration to keep going. Anyway, thanks again! on to the next!


	5. The Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke runs into trouble and Anya is her only hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm just going to explain a little so it's not confusing. This chapter starts about two hours after the last chapter ended. Anything in italics are Clarke's memories and flashbacks of the past couple hours. Everything else is in the present. If you pay attention to the times, it shouldn't be too confusing. Hope this helped though, enjoy!

[Hour 17:00 (5 o’clock)]

“Clarke, I’ve got you but you have to move your hand, I need to see how bad it is” Anya spoke, the fear barely detected in her voice. Clarke opened her eyes, squinting against the light shining through the trees encompassing them. The pain in her chest was making it hard for her to focus on her surroundings. Clarke stopped resisting and let Anya remove her hand, turning her head, she stared at the black fur that obstructed her vision. 

“Ah!” She clenched her teeth as Anya added pressure to the wound, ripping off the bottom hem of her shirt to tie it around Clarke’s chest.

With her vision going blurry she instinctively began rubbing her fingers together, feeling numb tendrils begin coursing up her arms from her fingertips. Like an ice cold snake, the beginning waves of shock started slithering through her muscles. 

“Anya…” Her voice was soft and coarse to her ears, but she took a steadying breath. The part of her brain that held a small amount of medical knowledge screamed at her of her current situation, and she needed Anya to know the severity. 

“I-I think I’m going into s-shock”

“Shh, you’re going to be okay Blondie just hold on” Anya’s voice sounded far away in Clarke’s ears. She reached up blindly with fear of being left alone. A rough hand took hers and held it gently at her side. 

“This is gonna hurt, but we don’t have a choice” Just as the words left Anya’s mouth a pained groan escaped Clarke’s lips as she was lifted off the floor. 

Her head rolled back limply against Anya’s arm as her eyelids fluttered closed. With the pain becoming too heavy she let herself succumb to the darkness, the memories of the last few hours began flooding back.

* * *

[Hour 15:15 (3:15 pm)]

_“Experiment 134…" Anya gasped, her heart thudding rapidly against her chest. Heavy footsteps can be heard running down the corridor towards them. Refusing the same fate, Anya grabbed Clarke’s hand and ran down the tunnel the enhanced rotter just came from._

_Clarke mapped out their surroundings as they ran, noticing multiple tunnels throughout. Soft moans can be heard as they went deeper into the structure, noticing Z’s were closing in behind them. There was no turning back._

_“Wait!” Clarke yanked her hand from Anya’s as they stopped. They were in what looked to be a small room, eight tunnel openings surrounded them. The Z’s cries were now loud enough to bounce from wall to wall making it hard to distinguish the direction they were coming from._

_“Which one?!” Anya screamed, just as clueless to their true location as she was. Clarke closed her eyes, realizing they had no real indication of which tunnel was the safe one. _

_Or if any of them were._

_So she just chose._

_“This one!” Clarke pointed to the one on her left and started running. Gripping the handgun firmly in front of her she kept her eyes peeled and her ears open in the darkness. The only knowledge that Anya was still on her heel was the lingering breath she felt on the nape of her neck when they got too close in the dark._

_She could now hear how close the Z’s were by how quick and labored Anya’s breath had become behind her. The moans becoming snarls as they noticed their prey so close. Squinting her eyes, Clarke could see a small sheen of light at the end of the passageway._

_She pushed her body to move faster._

_The only focus: Their freedom._

_Her heart began beating rapidly, threatening it’s escape at the realization. Small beads of sweat building on Clarke’s brow as pure adrenalin pushed her the last few steps. She stopped suddenly as light hit her face, looking down at the cascade of water falling by her feet._

_She braced herself as Anya ran into her backside. Coming to a halt, a grunt escaped her lips as she looked at Clarke curiously, following her gaze down to the water below._

_She felt Anya wrap her fingers around her hand, squeezing gently._

_“Count of three?” She asked. Clarke gave her a simple nod in response, taking a deep breath as she could hear the walkers gaining on them._

_“One, two-”_

_“Anya watch out!” Clarke screamed watching a Z reaching out to grab her arm. Quickly pushing her out of the way and grabbing the Z by the shoulders pushing it against the wall. _

_“Go! I’m right behind you!” Clarke screamed, pushing back against the struggling Z. Unfortunately it’s strength matched hers as it bit out into the air trying to sink it’s teeth into fresh flesh._

_“Like hell…” Anya said under her breath taking her baton and gripping the walkers head with her free hand. “Yu gonplei ste odon” she whispered before the crunching sound of flesh ripping and bones breaking filled her ears, the Z falling to the floor. They watched as it writhed in pain like the last, convulsing and twitching uncomfortably. _

_“Wait, look how it reacts to the sun” Clarke said, watching as it’s skin started boiling and sizzling under the suns light. Every time a limb became exposed to the light the Z would scream and pull back._

_“Huh, well that’s new” Anya said turning her head behind her to the sound of scurrying feet gaining on them. “Shit” she turned and grabbed Clarke’s hand, running towards the opening in the tunnel._

_“Time to Go!”_

_Clarke’s eyes widened as she attempted to pull back to no avail, suddenly realizing what Anya was doing._

_“Hold on! Wai-” Before Clarke could finish her sentence her feet were no longer touching solid ground, and she was falling to the water below._

* * *

[Hour 17:45 (5:45 pm)]

Her eyes fluttered open as the fog diluting her mind began to dissipate some. She tried to focus on her senses as they slowly started coming back to her. Catching a faint scent of sweat and pine close by, she winced, a sharp pain radiating through her chest. Searching for the cause of the pain, blue eyes met a concerned brown and realization hit her.

“You’ve been losing too much blood during travel. I need to change the wrap” Anya’s voice was soft, and gentle. Her hands moving as slowly as possible not to cause too much pain.

“Where?” Clarke couldn’t finish her sentence, her voice becoming mute from the pain. Anya understood her question though, not taking her eyes off the wound on Clarke’s chest.

“Were on the outskirts of Polis, I’m taking you to Trikru” She said, retying the fresh fabric around the wound. “It’s the closest outpost to us right now, and a friend of mine will be able to help you”

Clarke could barely make out her words as her eyelids grew heavy again. The pain was hitting her in waves, causing small gasps and groans to escape her lips where words couldn’t. She could feel how weak her body was becoming, could sense how much blood she has already lost.

“Okay, I found transportation but I’m going to have to lift you again, just breathe through it, were almost there” Anya stated, placing her arms under Clarke’s back and lifting as gently as possible.

The pain gripped her skin and burned, a scream escaping her lips as she was hoisted off the dirt covered floor. Her body shook against the cold the shock was causing, her fingers completely numb now. If she could lift her head to look she was sure they would be blue. 

Her head lulled back, her neck unable to support the weight any longer. Eye’s rolling into the back of her head as she lost consciousness, greeting the flashes of memories once more.

* * *

[Hour 15:45 (3:45 pm)]

_“Anya!” Clarke screamed, trying to find dark blonde hair beneath the body of water. Her heart dropped to her stomach when she noticed a body washed up on the shore. Swimming quickly over her eyes landed on Anya, completely still and unmoving._

_“N-n-no no no” Clarke stammered, quickly jumping out of the water and putting her arms beneath Anya’s shoulders on either side, dragging her completely to shore._

_Once she got her safely to land she tilted her head up, putting two fingers to her neck, looking for any signs of a pulse._

_Nothing. _

_“Shit” Clarke said under her breath, putting both palms on top of each other on Anya’s chest, starting chest compression's. pressing down her weight and counting to three, she released the pressure and pinched Anya’s nose between her fingers, opening her airway and blowing into her mouth. She could see her chest rise and fall with each new breath of air. _

_Repeating the steps a few times, Anya’s eyes opened wide, rolling over on her side she coughed, throwing up a gush of water. She clenched her side, gasping for air as her eyes met Clarke’s._

_“If you wanted to kiss me Blondie all you had to do was ask” Anya said, a small smirk gracing her lips. Clarke rolled her eyes and chuckled._

_“You wish” She pushed playfully, yet carefully, on Anya’s shoulder as she stood to gather her surroundings. _

_“Okay we need to keep moving, they’re going to be searching for us so we want to put as much distance between us and them as possible” Clarke said, offering her hand out to Anya for help which she gladly took._

_When Anya stood, she braced herself up against the nearest tree, not realizing how weak her body actually was. _

_“What exactly happened?” Anya asked, breaking up the silence. _

_Clarke just stared at her, the only indication that she wasn’t frozen solid was the steady movement of her chest as she breathed._

_Becoming uncomfortable under her gaze Anya steadied herself, tilting her head in curiosity. Unsure of what would cause the once talkative blonde to grow silent._

_“Y-you’re…” Clarke took a deep breath,uncertain of what to say._

_So she went with the truth._

_“You’re heart stopped Anya” The blonde said, eyes dropping to the floor “I think you might have hit the water wrong on impact”_

_Anya nodded in response, clearly having not realized how close she actually was to her death. She sighed, knowing full well the depth of dept and gratitude she owed her blonde ally. _

_She looked up then, her eyes meeting blue._

_“I guess this would be the second time you’ve saved my life” Anya said with a smile, reaching out her hand to grasp Clarke’s forearm. _

_“Mochof Clarke, I am in your dept.”_

_Blonde brows creased in confusion and Anya laughed._

_“It means ‘thank you’” She said, releasing Clarke’s arm. The blonde nodded with a smile._

_“Let’s just hope you won’t need to repay the favor.”_

* * *

[Hour 18:20 (6:20 pm)]

Her body was violently shook awake, a garbled groan escaping her lips. Her hands gripped the seat she was currently laying on. With the creak in her neck making itself known, she reluctantly opened her eyes.

Being shown only darkness, she began to panic, fingers digging into the upholstery beneath her. Jolting quickly into a seated position she crumpled back over, hand flying to the wound on her chest. She closed her eyes tight, taking in slow deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

Just when Clarke thought she would lose her own battle a gentle touch of a hand can be felt on her thigh. Glimpsing at her thigh and then up at the recipient, Clarke calmed at the sight of Anya driving, newly comforted with the knowledge of her surroundings.

“Almost there Clarke, just try and stay still for me okay?” Anya’s voice was hoarse and she could sense the exhaustion slide from her tongue, like speaking was energy she did not possess. 

Clarke just nodded, wincing as she leaned back in her seat, attempting to relax the best she could despite the pain.

Glancing out the window, she could see the darkness behind the trees. The shadows cascading out of treeline by the light from the moon, creating ripples and patterns on the road. She closed her eyes, sinking back into the recesses of her mind. Finding sleep her only solace from the encompassing pain.

* * *

[Hour 16:30 (4:30 pm)]

_They were moving at a slower pace then before, being satisfied that the Mountain men have given up their hunt for now. Most likely due to Anya’s skills in covering up their path, making it nearly impossible for tracking._

_Clarke reached out in front of her and grabbed Anya’s arm, stopping her. Turning around to face her, Clarke could see the fatigue she was trying to hide. The sweat was beading on her brow, causing her hair to stick to her skin. Her breathing was labored, skin pale. _

_Clarke knew they needed a break._

_“We’ve been walking for awhile with little food and water in our system” She looked up then, blue eyes meeting brown. A sheepish smile gracing her lips. “I think it would be best if we rest a bit. You’ve been through a lot, and I think they gave up.” Clarke said, pointing behind her into the trees, indicating the lack of danger._

_Squinting down at Clarke and grunting Anya turned around and huffed to the nearest tree, plopping down with reluctance. Clarke rolled her eyes and bit back the smile at the corner of her mouth._

_“I’m going to go forage and see if I can find anything, just try and relax for a little while” Clarke said holding up her hands in mock surrender when she received a glare (that could knock walkers off their feet) in return._

_Clarke turned around shaking her head, knowing Anya was as stubborn of patients as they come._

* * *

[Hour 18:45 (6:45 pm)]

“Ah!” Clarke wailed as she was startled awake, her body no longer fighting off the pain. Her blood loss was evident by how weak her body had become. No longer able to open her eyes, she relied on her hearing to gather her whereabouts. She could still smell the faint scent of pine, knowing she was within Anya’s arms.

“Someone get Nyko now!” Anya demanded, her voice dripping with authority Clarke hadn’t heard before. She couldn’t hear a response but the shuffling of feet and the sound of a door closing told her Anya had received one.

“Anya, what is the meaning of this?” A deep, hollow voice could be heard not too far from the bed Anya just gently laid her on. Clarke could feel the blanket ruffle beneath her fingers as Anya’s leg bumped against the bed as she turned to address the newcomer.

“Hello to you as well Indra” Anya grunted, clearly annoyed with the intruder.

“Yes of course, it is very good to see you made it out of the Mountain Anya. Heda will be very pleased as well” The woman said, her voice more gentle than before.

There was a deafening silence Clarke could only interpret as Anya deliberating something.

“Send someone to radio Heda, she needs to know what’s going on before anyone else does.” Anya stated, Clarke could sense her walking away, seconds later the sounds of splashing water was filling her ears.

“That does not explain your use for Nyko, or our very limited medical supplies.” Indra retorted, annoyance now clouding her voice.

“Do you not see the bleeding girl on the bed?” Anya grew irritated, beginning to pace.

“Yes, of course I do, but you’ve been away for a little over a month now Anya. The feud with Azgeda has worsened. They increased their trade value, collectively cutting off most clans from their supplies.” Indra sighed, her feet shuffled closer to Anya. “You know as well as I they hold the most value in their medical supply. Making ours very limited” 

Silence. Anya stopped pacing, having turned to face the woman named Indra.

“What are you saying?”

“Limited to our people Anya, and our people only” Indra said softly, the remorse falling with her words.

Silence Again. A deafening silence. A silence dripping with anger and regret. 

Then…

“You don’t decide that Indra, you might be the General here now, but only Heda can decide who lives or dies on her lands” Anya stepped closer to Indra, Clarke couldn’t see but she could feel the tension fill the small space. “Nyko will keep her alive until she gets here.” There was no room for arguing and Anya made that clear. Clarke could hear the grunt escape Indra’s lips as she turned and slipped out of the tent, someone else filling in her space.

“Anya, I am so glad you are well!” A gentle mans voice can be heard, the tension being filled with a calming nature.

“As am I Nyko, please help my friend. She helped me escape, and I do believe Heda would want her to live” Anya’s words were professional and strong. No detection of weakness in her voice.

“Of course, you know as well as I that Heda is a kind soul. She does what she must for the Coalition but she is a fair leader” Nyko said, growing louder the closer he got to Clarke. She could hear him put something down on a wooden surface next to her. Fingers could be felt grabbing her shirt and ripping the cloth from her wound. A low hiss can be heard above her.

“She has lost a lot of blood already Anya” He said reluctantly, just as unsure of her chances at survival as Clarke was.

“Do what you must.” Was the last thing Clarke could hear from Anya’s mouth before a deep burn spread through her chest. With her adrenalin pumping her eyes flew open, a scream escaping her mouth the pain becoming too much. 

“You’ll be alright, you won’t feel a thing soon enough” Nyko whispered as he gently slid a needle into her arm. The pain still there but her eyes growing heavy, she ceased her fighting as her body became slack. 

The drugs dragging her into a seemingly endless memory.

* * *

[Hour 16:45 (4:45 pm)]

_Clarke was able to scavenge a few berries from her trek but unfortunately not much. She turned around to head back to Anya, not sure what the older woman would do unsupervised. Afraid she might over exert herself more than necessary._

_She stopped suddenly hearing rustling in the trees near by. She grabbed her gun quickly on alert, afraid the mountain men might have found them. Her eyes scanning the treeline she slowly stepped closer, her finger closing in on the guns safety, switching it off._

_As she neared she heard a low rumble, sounding more like a growl. Instinctively thinking it was a walker she let out a very low whistle. Beckoning the foreign intruder from the coverage of foliage. She could hear the low rumble turn into a high pitched snarl. _

_Not like a walker._

_Definitely not a walker. _

_She slowly stepped back now realizing what lay beyond the treeline. Keeping her gun raised she took three carefully slow steps back now seeing the creature lurk out of the foliage, steady, easy steps advancing in her direction. It’s eyes a deep yellow, scoping her out. Shoulder blades arching as it lowers itself into a hunting stance, black fur glinting against the soft light coming through the trees._

_“Easy buddy…” Clarke whispered, trying to steady her voice, her free hand coming up in a kind surrender. She refused to let her finger off the trigger, barrel aimed on black fur._

_She took another step back._

_Nothing._

_Then another._

_The panther lowered it’s head, eyes never leaving Clarke’s. The low growl turning into a snarled hiss as it’s front paws scratched against the dirt, ready for the pounce. _

_She could feel her heartbeat inside her head, her palms beginning to sweat. She wasn’t prepared for this. Walkers, sure. Humans, sure. Wild, untamed and hungry creatures? She wasn’t prepared for this. Yes, she’s been hunting; rabbit, snake, maybe the occasional deer if she were lucky. But this…_

_Clarke steadied her hand, stopping the tremble she could feel about to occur. Her eyes never leaving the panther in front of her. She took a deep breathe and went to raise her foot once more to take one more step away from the feral creature. _

_Just as her foot left the ground the beast attacked. With a high pitched howl it lunged at her, claws drawn. She was able to take a shot, but with the sudden commotion of the attack she missed, hitting the bark of a near tree._

_Quickly sideswiping from it’s path she fell to the floor, turning onto her back and raising her gun once more. The creature turned, spit spewing from it’s mouth as it snarled, slipping on the dirt as it moved. _

_It ran at her, claws connecting with her thigh, fighting back her cry of pain She let her finger slip again, connecting to the panther in front of her. It let out a blood curdling scream, one you could tell was not human. Her breath caught in her throat then as her eyes widened, watching as it tumbled over between her legs. She stayed motionless, knowing full well she hit her target, but unsure how strong the panther truly was._

_Sure enough she could hear the soft hiss escape the creature, as it lurched up quickly. In seconds it was on top of her, claws pinning to her chest, knocking the gun from her grip. She laid there frozen as it leered over her. With creased eyes it snarled, face lowering to inches from hers. She could feel the hot, sticky breath on her skin as it’s claws dug deeper within her skin. She let out an agonizing cry as the feeling of tearing skin was all that encompassed her mind. _

_Clarke looked up then sapphire meeting amber as she came to accept her fate. Knowing she wouldn’t make it out of this alive. Just then the creatures mouth twitched, and Clarke could swear it looked to have grinned. Finally having a fresh kill. She closed her eyes, aware of what comes next but not willing to look into the eyes of the creature that will take her last breath. _

_Waiting for the end felt like an eternity, the weight of the panther pushing it’s claws deeper into her chest. Just when she thought her ribs would cave in, she heard a gun shot and the weight was gone. _

_Anya had ran hearing the commotion from the place Clarke left her. When she emerged from the trees and seen the gun on the ground and the blonde in distress, she took to action. Grabbing the gun quickly while the beast was still distracted, she fired. Just one shot was needed, clean in the head, the beast falling over in a black heap._

_Anya heard a low groan, looking over to the crumpled and bleeding girl on the ground. Quickly running over, she noticed the deep claw marks that painted Clarke’s front. The blonde moving her hands to her wounds quickly to stop the bleeding, the medic in her working despite her position. Kneeling down Anya gently gripped Clarke’s wrists, looking into the girls eyes._

_“Clarke, I’ve got you but you have to move your hand, I need to see how bad it is.”_

* * *

[Hour 23:00 (11:00 pm)]

When she woke her head was pounding, squinting her eyes she noticed candles of all sorts lit all around. She was in a queen sized bed in a small, yet comfortable room. A dresser and a mirror in the corner, a door probably leading to a bathroom on the other wall. 

She sat up, wincing and hunching over at the action. Looking down she noticed the clear bandaged wrapped around her almost bare chest and thigh. Running her fingers over the fabric on her chest she heard someone clear their throat by the door.

Her sight landed on Anya, leaning in the door jam hesitantly. Clarke quickly grabbed the blanket covering her almost bare body, slightly blushing.

“Sorry, I just wanted to see if you’re awake” Anya said seemingly reluctant to enter the room any further. Clarke smiled as reassuringly as possible and gestured for her to enter, Anya doing as told.

“So, what exactly happened?” Clarke asked finally, remembering where her mind took her but needing to hear it from someones voice.

Anya proceeded to sit at the edge of her bed and go over everything that had happened the last ten hours. Everything exactly as Clarke remembered, so she nodded along. 

After a short amount of silence, Anya giving Clarke the respect and time to process everything, knowing the blonde has been through a lot.

“How are you doing?” Clarke finally asked breaking the silence. Anya looked up surprise showing in her eyes.

“Clarke, you nearly died, you’re in a strange place and you’re asking how I’m doing?” Anya asked in exasperation. Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, using her arms to slowly lift herself into a sitting position.

“Anya. You DID die.” Clarke stated. Narrowing her eyes she took in the woman in front of her. Clearly seeing her dishevelled hair and dirt covered skin, still in the clothes from the prison. “You haven’t even slept have you?” Clarke asked softly. Anya fidgeted uncomfortably, clearly not used to someone taking so much care in her well being.

“There was much to do, and I wanted to be here when you woke up. You don’t know this place and I didn’t want you thinking you were back in the mountain.” Anya spoke, eyes lowering. Clarke could only smile.

“Anya I’m in a bed, in my own room, that isn’t locked. It’s pretty obvious I’m no longer in the prison” Clarke said not trying to hide the amusement in her voice. They both shared a laugh, much needed after their journey.

“Okay well fair point Blondie” Anya said lightly tapping Clarke’s shoulder “but just so you’re aware of where you are this is Trikru.”

“Is this an outpost?” Clarke asked, very intrigued. Anya nodded.

“Mhm, One of twelve.” Anya laughed when she saw Clarke’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Wait. One of twelve? Like twelve different outposts? All with people in them?” Clarke rambled, the questions flying from her lips before she had a chance to stop them.

“Yes” Anya laughed “They all have people in them. They used to all be divided. All twelve outposts, or clans as we call them, all fighting for survival separately. Even going so far as to start wars with each other for supplies that other clans lacked. It was chaos for awhile.” Anya said, looking to Clarke to make sure she was still paying attention before continuing. “Then the coalition was created. A treaty of peace between the clans, making us fight for survival together, instead of fighting each other. The coalition is run by all clans, all twelve leaders getting a say in trade and supply routes, land negotiations, even criminal justice.” Anya paused then, letting what she said sink in. Clarke just sat there, taking steady breaths before she spoke.

“So there is no one leader?” The blonde asked confused.

“Well, not exactly. We do have a Commander, she remains in Polis tower. Which is an outpost centered in the middle of all twelve others. It was created after the coalition was enacted. Making it a safe zone, like Switzerland, for any clan members to find refuge… Unless the Heda says other wise.”

“Heda?”

“Commander”

Clarke nodded, trying to wrap her head around the situation she found herself in. Looking back to the older woman she asked the only thing that came to mind.

“So you do have a leader? What the Comman- Heda says, goes right?” 

“To a certain extent, yes. She came to her position because she was the one to create the coalition in the first place, but there are rules even for her. If she were to break them the clans can retaliate, appointing a new Commander in her stead” Anya answered. Understanding how confusing this all can be for a newcomer. Especially one who has been living in a world like theirs for months. 

“Listen Clarke I am only telling you these things because you will most likely be stuck here for a little while” She saw the panic set in blue eyes and she quickly continued.

“Your wounds. They need time to heal properly. You won’t be able to venture out passed these walls with injuries like yours.” Anya stood then, clearing her throat. “Like I said, I’m only telling you this so you know what’s going on. Heda does wish to speak with you… But she wishes to give you some time to rest, so that is what I shall do as well” She reaches out and grips Clarke’s forearm.

“Thank you by the way…” Clarke choked out returning the gesture, blue meeting brown “You could have died trying to bring me here… T-thank you” Anya smiled in return, releasing her arm.

“You saved my ass twice, I don’t think this makes us even yet” She laughed walking out the door not waiting for a response from the puzzled blonde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa shall be making an appearance soon... ;)


	6. Jus drein jus daun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets a glimpse of Trikru outpost, meets new people and finally meets the Commander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'd like to apologize about how long it took me to publish this chapter. I had major writers block for a while and it took me sometime to get this one out. With that being said though it is the longest chapter so far so I hope that makes up for how late it took me getting it out. I hope you all enjoy!

A few days had gone by and Clarke was just now permitted to walk around, Nyko having told her bed rest was necessary for the first few days of healing. She still had yet to meet the Commander, even though she was told she had arrived the same day Anya had radioed for her. She wasn’t sure what to expect or what the Commander would want to talk to her about, she could only assume it was about the mountain.

Finally being allowed to leave her room she was grateful and very much ready. As much as Clarke enjoyed sleeping in a soft bed again, without the worry of walkers, she still missed the feeling of the sun on her skin. 

When she left the comforts of her room (a refurbished hotel they made into healing quarters and extra sleeping bunks for guests) she made her way outside, stopping just two feet out the door. Glancing around she noticed everyone in the outpost were busy doing their daily tasks and chores. Laughing and joking with friends, even children seemed to be running around with no care in the world. Clarke was astonished, she couldn’t remember the last time she met anyone without constant fear and mistrust in their eyes. She hadn’t noticed the smile she was making, but was startled by someone clearing their throat behind her.

“Different isn’t it?” A soft silky voice echoed behind her, lips inches from Clarke’s ear. 

A gentle shiver snaked down her spine, turning around her blues were met with forest greens.

“It’s certainly not what I’m used to, that’s for sure.” She responded, taking in the magnificent creature in front of her. 

_Why is everyone so flawless here?_

The stranger nodded, lips twitching into a half smile.

“I’m sure it isn’t” the stranger said, eyes scanning over Clarke’s body. She could feel the heat on her cheeks from the strangers gawking. 

“I’m Clarke” The words slipped out before she knew what was happening. The woman seemed to hesitate for a second. Her eyes roaming over Clarke’s body, perhaps trying to decipher is she could trust the blonde. She must have found her answer.

“Lexa” The woman said, grasping Clarke’s forearm gently. She had to work on ignoring the goosebumps forming from the touch, and returned the greeting. Looking back up to meet Lexa’s eyes, she couldn’t help the butterflies that fluttered around in her stomach. Something about the way the brunette looked at her had new sensations coursing through Clarke’s body.

Clarke always knew she was attractive, she was used to the way people tended to gravitate towards her in ‘that regard,’ but the way the woman in front of her was looking at her: 

She felt desirable.

“Are you headed somewhere?” The question was gentle, not prying, more curious.

“A-actually I was walking where my stomach took me” Clarke said, a hand going to her stomach when it took that moment to growl loudly. She faintly chuckled in embarrassment, the brunettes lips turning up into a smile.

“If you keep walking that way, just passed the produce market you’ll find the rec room straight ahead” Pointing Clarke towards the direction, she nodded in understanding.

“Okay I think I can figure it out, thank you. Who knows how long I would have been wondering around.” Clarke said with a nervous laugh, not being able to stare into the emerald eyes that bore into her. “I have a meeting with the Commander later, wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.”

“I’m sure she’s looking forward to meeting you.” Lexa responded, one side of her lips twitching up into a smile. Clarke nodded taking a deep breath, the only thing she could smell was the enticing aroma of the woman in front of her, a mix of jasmine and pine. The smell alone was intoxicating and it had Clarke swaying where she stood. 

Before she could mutter a response Lexa was gone. Whisked away with the other people within the outposts central streets. 

A face among the many.

Clarke sighed, mentally shaking herself, she turned and headed in the direction the brunette had given. Thinking back, that was definitely a new feeling, one that she was sure to avoid in the future. Her mind had to remain focused on one thing. 

Getting back to her people.

* * *

When Clarke made it to the rec room, it was fairly easy to get her breakfast. Given two eggs, two slices of bacon, a piece of toast and a cup of coffee. 

Clarke was in her own world. Diving into her plate like there was no tomorrow (which very well may be true). She hadn’t noticed Anya pull up a chair at her table along with two others. Instinctively and without thinking Clarke threw an arm over her plate, guarding her food.

“Easy there Blondie, nobody is gonna steal your food here” Anya said, trying to hide the amusement in her voice. Clarke looked up then, quickly finishing the bite she was on and wiping her mouth off with a napkin.

“Sorry, the food here is amazing! I can’t get enough” Clarke said, stuffing another fork full of eggs into her mouth.

“Yes, it is a million steps up from that slop we got in that shit show of a mountain” Anya said with a chuckle. “This is Lincoln and Niylah by the way” She said gesturing to the two others who sat with her. “Guys, this is Clarke. The one who helped break my ass out.” They both smiled at her, Lincoln being the first to speak.

“It is very good to meet you Clarke, I can’t thank you enough for helping Anya out of there.”

Clarke just nodded, not really knowing what to say. She wasn’t used to appreciation like this. Especially because it wasn’t completely selfless, she was stuck in there too. She would have tried with or without Anya. She just wouldn’t have been successful without her.

“It was both of us” Clarke said, finally finding the words that eluded her before. “I don’t think either of us would have made it without the other”

“Modest too, I see?” Niylah spoke, eyes scanning Clarke. Her mouth twitching in the corner, lust in her eyes. Clarke faced her then, finally taking in the thin woman in front of her. Blonde hair braided neatly out of her face, chromatic brown eyes boring into her sky blue.

Clarke couldn’t deny the beauty of the woman in front of her. Just like all the rest of the people at Trikru outpost. She was flawless. She also couldn’t deny the fact that she was human and she had a basic need that hadn’t been satisfied since before the infection. She shook her mind from the thought. Pushing it to the back of her mind until she can get her people to safety. 

“So, you’re talking to the Commander after this right?” Anya asked then, breaking through her train of thought. Clarke took another bite, nodding in response.

“I have guard post there after, so I’ll walk you there” Anya spoke, taking a sip of the coffee in front of her.

“Any words of advice?” Clarke asked hesitantly. She couldn’t deny the nerves that have been clawing through her stomach all morning.

Anya shrugged, clearly not as concerned as Clarke. Lincoln was the one to answer.

“Just be honest. She doesn’t deal with liars, and she’ll call you out on it instantly if you do.” he said, face serious. Clarke nodded, willing to take in any information she could.

“She’ll probably just want to ask you about the mountain. How we escaped, where you came from. If you have people out there.” Anya said “As a whole, the coalition does not trust in new people. So because of that, she needs to be vigilant.”

Clarke could understand that more than anyone. People were more of a fear for her than actual infected were.

* * *

After breakfast Clarke said goodbye to Lincoln and Niylah. Noticing the lingering forearm grab, and the wink as Niylah was saying her farewells, Clarke smiled in response. Not wanting to flat out deny the woman out of respect, but not having the mental ability to deal with anything of that magnitude just yet.

The walk to the Commanders quarters was comfortably quiet. Both girls just enjoying the others company, and the new freedom they shared. When they arrived it was a large two story house on it’s own street. Big, burly men were guarding the outside with guns, eyes staring straight ahead. They both walked up the steep steps to the front door, Anya turning to face Clarke as they reached the top.

“Alright this is where I leave you. I have to go around back and check in for my shift. Just introduce yourself when you get in, they know you’re coming” Anya said, giving Clarke a fist bump on the shoulder before heading around the porch to the back of the house.

Clarke faced the door and took a deep breath trying to steady herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this nervous. Balling her hand into a fist she knocked on the door three times, waiting for a response.

A strong, burly man answered the door. Wearing all black, weapons strapped throughout his body, a bullet proof vest strapped to his chest. Clarke gulped, taking a small step back having to tilt her head up to look at the man.

“I’m Clarke, I’m supposed to have a meeting with your Commander” She said, trying to keep her voice as firm as she could. He didn’t say a word, just stared for about two minutes. Maybe trying to decipher if she was actually telling the truth or not. He must have found his answer, because she was given a nod in response and he opened the door wider. Turning around to walk into the house, leaving her to let herself in.

Walking into the house she noticed it’s walls were knocked down, creating one big room on the first floor. As Clarke followed the man inside she noticed the people that occupied the small space. They all stopped talking to stare at her as she passed, Clarke just raised her chin and squared her shoulders, letting them know she wasn’t intimidated. They were all muscular in build. Their skin, tanned from the sun, was partially covered by all black clothes. She also noticed they all wore bullet proof vests and an array of different weapons holstered to their bodies.

She made her way upstairs until the man leading the way stopped abruptly in front of double doors at the end of the hall, almost causing Clarke to run into him. She tilted her head up to look at him, as he turned around towards her. He narrowed his eyes.

“If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat” He says through gritted teeth, stepping to the side gesturing for Clarke to enter.

She swallowed, she wasn’t sure what to expect behind the door. Looking at the people that surround the Commander, to say she was nervous was an understatement. taking a deep breath she opened the door.

Stepping into the room she noticed a desk at the far end, a large chair sat behind it, facing the windows on the back wall. She took two steps forward, jumping slightly at the door being shut by one of the burly men behind her. Both holding rifles, and standing guard and looking straight ahead, paying her no attention.

She moved forward when she noticed the chair start turning around to face her. She stopped suddenly, eyes wide. Her heart stopped as blue met a familiar forest green.

“Hello Clarke.” Lexa said, turning around to a surprised blonde. Clarke’s breath caught in her throat, taking a step back. She couldn’t say what she was expecting when meeting the Commander, but her being the beautiful stranger from earlier was definitively not it.

“W-wait” Clarke felt dizzy, blinking at the woman in front of her, the questions running through her mind faster than she could think. Why would she not introduce herself before? Why set up a meeting when she had planned on running into Clarke all along? Was this some kind of game?

“You’re the Commander?” was the only question Clarke could muster. The surprise winning over her curiosity. Lexa just smirked, placing her forearms on the armrests and entwining her fingers together.

“Yes, and you are the person who escaped the Mountain” She stated. The lack of a question in her voice told Clarke she obviously knew everything, probably having talked to Anya already. Which begs the question:

Why the fuck was she here?

“It wouldn’t have been a success without Anya” Clarke said turning her eyes towards her feet. She had a hard time staring at the girl in front of her, her emerald greens seeking out truths within her sky blues.

“Yes, Anya is a warrior, she taught me everything I know. I thank you for helping to bring her back safely.” The Commander said, the smirk never leaving her features. Clarke nodded, again not used to being thanked for something she did for survival.

“I think it was her that brought me here actually” Clarke retorted, shuffling nervously on her feet. She wasn’t sure why she needed to speak with the brunette when she obviously knew how they made their escape. She looked up, keeping her chin up and her shoulders high, she was over the pleasantries she just wanted to get back to her group.

“You do not wish to stay here” The Commander stated, no hint of a question in her voice. Clarke was obviously not hiding her impatience very well. She shook her head.

“It’s not about that, I have people. Friends that are still out there.” Clarke said stepping closer to the Commanders desk “I can’t just leave them out there when a place like this exists.”

“You’re assuming they would be welcome” The Commander said, eyes narrow. She looked to be studying Clarke, Taking in every movement, every breath.

“Why wouldn’t they? You choose to exclude people?” Clarke asked incredulously, she couldn’t fathom having one safe outpost, and the Commander has twelve and she chooses to omit people?

The commander stood from her chair then, walking around and leaning against the desk to face Clarke, hands folded in front of her.

“It’s not about exclusion Clarke, it’s about survival” She took a deep breath before continuing “supplies are harder to come by as the days go on. I’m working on a solution to the supply shortage but until then we must be careful”

“Okay, well cut back on what you choose to give people.”

“What do you think refusing to bring in anymore people is? I can not deny any of my own people supplies that are needed. So I must make cuts where I can.”

“So you just turn people away? Is that what you planned to do with me?” Clarke asked in disbelief. The commanders eyes softened slightly, Clarke wasn’t sure if she seen it right.

“Actually I have asked to speak with you because I would like to offer you a place here in Trikru. You have proven to be an asset”

Clarke scoffed, for the first time in a while she choked out a laugh she couldn’t hold back.

“You’re kidding right? I’m an asset to you? What, because I brought back one of your own so you feel you owe me?”

Lexa remained silent looking like she expected this reaction.

“Well don’t worry about it _Commander_” Clarke said, spitting out her name with venom dripping off every letter. “I’ll be out of here as soon as your medic lets me leave. I have people to get back to anyway” She was done talking, done hoping for something better for her people only to be stepped on and tore down. Lexa sighed, turning her attention to one of the guards.  
“Tell Anya I would like to see her” The guard bowed, leaving the room to fulfill his Commanders request.

Clarke rolled her eyes, done being in the brunette’s presence any longer. She turned around walking towards the door when the two guards stepped in front of her blocking her path. Both sets of eyes were on their Commander paying the blonde no mind. Clarke took a deep breath between gritted teeth before turning around to face the leader of the clans.

“Anything else?” Clarke couldn’t hide the irritation in her voice, and she really didn’t want to. A knock sounded at the door just as the Commander was about to speak, the guards opened the door to reveal Anya on the other side.

“You called for me Heda” Anya said stepping into the room. The Commander nodded.

“Yes, it seems Clarke wishes to return to her people. When she is healed and medically approved, I would like you and three of your best to accompany her on her trip” The Commander said coolly, eyes not leaving Clarke’s.

“Yes Heda” Anya responded, her eyes roaming between the two woman in front of her, a smirk playing on your lips. Clarke broke the stare, rolling her eyes.

“Now that you’ve made all the arrangements for _my_ departure, I would really not like to be here any longer” Clarke said between gritted teeth. The anger was boiling past the rim and she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to control herself. The Commander seemed to take no notice of her demeanor, and if she had she was showing no indication of caring. Slowly the brunette made her way to Clarke, standing only inches away. Clarke had to close her eyes for a second to collect herself, the familiar smell of lavender and pine invading her senses. She could feel the Commanders breath on the nape of her neck as she bent down to whisper in her ear. 

“I hope you will reconsider my offer Clarke” The brunette said, clicking the ‘k’ in her name in a way that caused a flutter in the pit of Clarke’s stomach.

“Without my people, there is no offer” She struggled to keep her voice steady. Her will slowly slipping every second she stands within the Commanders presence. The brunette smirked, clearly enjoying the banter, and possibly the challenge.

“Maybe we can come up with some sort of-” The Commander paused, her eyes drinking in the blonde in front of her “arrangement” her lips twitched up into a half smile that caused a heat to stir in Clarke’s core. 

Clarke took a step back, her eyes mimicking the brunette’s. Taking in the mystery woman, Clarke couldn’t deny her ungodly beauty. She was not much older than Clarke, tanned skin, muscles that clearly showed her past training. Her hair was braided back and out of her face, her hair falling in soft curls behind her back. Yet, with all her incredible features the one thing that stirred something inside of Clarke was her eyes. The deep forest green eyes that seemed to bore into her soul, drinking her in. She shuffled on her feet, the same feeling coming over her as the first time they met.

She felt desirable.

“If my people get a chance, then maybe arrangements can be made” Was the last thing Clarke said before she broke eye contact and turned around to walk out the door. Before she could take a step though, thin fingers were wrapped around Clarke’s wrist, stopping her in place. When she turned around, the Commander quickly removed her hand, realizing what she had done.

“My apologies, I just noticed your shirt” The brunette said, eyes scanning Clarke’s chest and then quickly reverting. Clarke glanced down at the soft red stains beginning to appear. She groaned in annoyance, clearly not realizing how much she had been pulling on her stitches with her movements today.

“Thank you, I guess that’s my cue to head to medical then.” Clarke said, she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. This was not how she wanted to come off to the Commander, weak and useless. The brunette gave her a small nod in response, her eyes landing on Anya. Clarke stood there, watching a silent conversation happen between the two, she couldn’t help but feel she was intruding. Turning around to exit quietly she was stopped by the two guards still blocking her from making her exit. She glanced back towards the two silent woman, clearing her throat to get their attention. They both looked over, blinking a few times, obviously not realizing Clarke was still in the room.

“A little help” Clarke nodded towards the men by the door, only moving when they received a nod from their Commander. With one more awkward soul searching stare into the depths of the deepest forest Clarke has ever ventured, she turned around leaving the Commanders rooms.

* * *

When she made it outside she took in a deep breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. She hadn’t known what to expect when told she would be meeting the Commander, but her turning out to be the stunning stranger she met earlier was the farthest outcome on her mind. Her head was reeling from their conversation. Albeit not private, she couldn’t help but feel the Commander was hinting at something she couldn’t quite put her tongue on. She could tell she was flirting with her, whether it was genuine or a ploy Clarke really couldn’t tell, and that’s what bothered her the most.

Walking towards what she assumed was the clinic, she was so distracted with the stain on her shirt and thoughts of the Commander, she didn’t realize the person that was standing in her way. Running face first between two shoulder blades Clarke stumbled, taken aback. Blinking to clear her vision she looked up staring into familiar brown eyes, a smile she didn’t realize forming on her lips.

“Well hello Clarke” Niylah gripped Clarke’s shoulders with both hands to help steady her. “Didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“Oh, but you _did_ expect to see me again” Clarke was slightly amused, and if she were being honest with herself, a little flirtatious. She hated to admit it, but the Commander stirred something inside of her she thought was hidden awhile ago. She knew she was attractive and she had needs, she was human after all. The last time she was close to someone was before the infection. Since this all started though nobody seemed good enough for her to cross that line with. Finn seemed to gravitate towards her and Bellamy never missed an opportunity to flirt with her, but she hadn’t ever felt that way towards them. Yet looking at Niylah she couldn’t help but feel a dark desire in the pit of her stomach. Perhaps Lexa opened more doors than Clarke realized.

Niylah smiled, mouth parted slightly. Clarke could have sworn her eyes flickered to her lips a couple of times.

“Are you not remaining in Trikru?” Niylah asked, taking a step into Clarke’s space “because if you’re not, then maybe a proper goodbye is in order” It was barely above a whisper but the shiver running down Clarke’s body told Niylah she heard just fine.

“I-Uh” Clarke stumbled, she took a step back and took in a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “I was actually on my way to the clinic” Niylah’s eyes finally left Clarke’s lips and lingered down to the still forming red stain on her shirt.

“You could be at the clinic for hours, they have limited staff so unless it’s an emergency you’re pretty much on a waiting list” Niylah bit her lip, taking a step back of her own. “Come with me, I can take care of that in no time” She reached out her hand, giving Clarke the option to back out. Maybe it was the trusting nature of the woman in front of her, or the darkening desire growing more present in her core, but the last thing she wanted to do was say no.

So she didn’t.

Reaching out and grabbing the hand extended in front of her she looked up into muddled brown eyes and squeezed gently. A smile shaped it’s way across her face as she was met with a mirrored grin.

“Sounds good”

* * *

Niylah led Clarke to one of the guest sleeping lodge’s similar to what Clarke was residing in, just across the outpost.

“Wait, are you not a part of this outpost either?” Clarke asked as Niylah opened the door to her room. Looking around it looked like an exact replica of hers.

“Well yes and no” Niylah said as she shrugged off her jacket and laid it on the chair next to the door. She chuckled when she looked up to meet Clarke’s confused stare. “I am technically a part of Trikru, but my base or home is a trading post set up to safely trade goods with the other clans” She grabbed Clarke’s hand and led her to the bed, motioning for her to stay as she went to get the supplies she needed. When she returned she took Clarke’s silence as a tell to continue. “Each clan has a trading post, they’re kind of like Switzerland in the coalition. No matter what the problem is, as long as you are within a post no other clan can pose harm to you or any other within the posts boundaries.” Niylah said kneeling in front of Clarke laying out the supplies in front of her before turning back to the blonde. 

“Y-you’re going to have to lift your shirt” Niylah said, the blood flooding her cheeks. Clarke smiled, lifting her shirt just enough for the other woman to be able to reach the wound.

“So” Clarke said as Niylah began unwrapping her chest, she could feel the heat rise to her face. She needed to break the tension somehow “What are you doing here then? Is there someone else watching the post?” Clarke asked, not so subtly trying to gauge if the woman in front of her had a special someone or not. Niylah smiled, clearly understanding the meaning behind Clarke’s question.

“I’m here to deliver some goods from a recent trade made with Floukru” She finished unwrapping the cloth binding to assess the damage. “Doesn’t look too bad, just need to fix a couple sutures and clean it up a bit” Niylah informs Clarke, completely forgetting the second part of her question. 

“So who’s watching the post?” Clarke repeats, wincing as Niylah placed disinfectant on her wound.

“My father watches the post when I’m away” Niylah said quickly fixing the couple of pulled stitches. 

When finished, she gently cleans the wound again and grabs a clean binding before wrapping Clarke’s chest back up.

“There” She grabs the bottom of Clarke’s shirt and gently lowers it down covering her back up. “All done, and it only took ten minutes” She smiled up at Clarke, Niylah’s hands lingering on her thighs for a split second before her palms were flat on the bed on either side of her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean- well you know I wouldn’t mind- but I wasn’t insinuating-” Niylah’s rant was cut off by two fingers landing on her lips, freezing them in place.

“Niylah it’s alright, thank you for you know, stitching me back up” Clarke reassured, placing a hand on top of one of Niylah’s on the bed, squeezing gently.

“It’s the least I could do, you’re a local celebrity after all” Niylah said.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked slightly confused as to what anyone would have to say about her. Niylah laughed as she cleaned up the medical supplies and sat on the bed again, facing Clarke.

“You escaped the mountain and took down a panther” Niylah leaned in, her long hair draping over her shoulder, the ends brushing lightly on Clarke’s hand. “More than most people can say in a lifetime.”

“I wouldn’t have made it without Anya and I take no credit for the panther. I only take the scars with me.” Clarke said. 

Niylah smiled, tucking a stray blonde hair behind Clarke’s ear. Her breath sending a welcome chill down Clarke’s body.

“You’re beautiful Clarke” it was barely a whisper but the words swirled through Clarke’s head the second they slipped from Niylah’s tongue. The woman was absolutely stunning (like everyone around the outpost it seemed) and if Clarke were being honest with herself she could really use the distraction. Especially from a green eyed brunette, that couldn’t seem to leave her mind.

Niylah must have sensed Clarke’s struggle because she pulled back, her eyes landing to the floor. “I apologize, I did not mean to offend you or make any presumptions. I just-”

“Niylah” Clarke’s voice cut her off mid sentence. Niylah’s brown eyes finally lifted, connecting with blue. “Would you mind not talking?” Niylah’s eyes widened for a split second before she nodded and looked away in embarrassment. She was about to stand when Clarke laid a hand on her thigh. “No” Niylah met her gaze then, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but before she could question her, Clarke’s lips were on hers.

Clarke wasn’t sure what prompted her to make the first move, she didn’t even realize what she was doing until she felt soft lips kissing her back. She deepened the kiss, running her tongue against the bottom of Niylah’s lips, asking for permission which was instantly granted. She felt soft hands grip the sides of her face as she was slowly pushed back against the bed. Niylah straddled her then, lips never parting. Clarke could feel the heat radiating through Niylah’s jeans and her body shuddered in response. 

Niylah pushed up gently breaking the kiss. Still straddling Clarke she reached for the bottom of her shirt lifting it over her head and throwing it to the floor. Clarke bit her lip, reveling in the toned, thin body in front of her. It’s been so long, Clarke forgot how much she craved the physical contact of another.

When the shirt hit the floor Niylah didn’t hesitate to connect their lips again, tongue’s fighting for control. Clarke reached up running her fingers down Niylah’s back, gripping her hips and grinding them down into her. A soft moan escaped from Niylah’s lips as her body responded to what the blonde wanted. 

Clarke’s head rolled back, the friction from her jeans rubbing against her in just the right way. She could feel how soaked her panties had become, her nails digging into soft skin. 

Niylah kissed Clarke’s jawline, trailing down her neck, teeth grazing softly as she descended. Her fingers running through Clarke’s hair, gently pulling to grant more access to her neck, causing the blonde’s breath to hitch in her throat. A soft moan escaping her lips when teeth can be felt against her collar bone, causing another wave of heat to build in the pit of her stomach. When she finally let go, and began to relax under Niylah’s touch a familiar face entered her mind again. Closing her eyes tight her breath caught in her throat. All she could see was the Commander, and the things her mind was showing her weren’t exactly unwelcome, but were disrespectful to the woman on top of her. She gripped Niylah’s arms to stop her from continuing, leaning back on her elbows to look at the other woman. Niylah seemed to freeze, removing herself from Clarke and creating a little distance. 

“I’m sorry, I seemed to have gotten a little carried away with myself” Niylah said, her face turning a light shade of red as she removed her body from Clarke’s and sat back on the bed. 

Clarke shook her head, annoyed with herself. Of course the only time she decides to give herself physically to someone she has to be distracted by someone else.

“No, please don’t apologize. I guess I shouldn’t have thrown myself at you like that. Especially because I’m physically restricted right now anyway” Clarke huffed, eyes refusing to look at the woman in front of her. She couldn’t possibly tell her the truth of why she stopped, so she used her injury as an excuse. She honestly couldn’t believe she had to walk away from this right now, but she liked Niylah too much to play with her like that. She wasn’t even sure why Lexa was invading her thoughts during such personal times, she just knew Niylah deserved better. 

She was brought back from her thoughts when a gentle hand was placed on her thigh, she looked up to meet an understanding gaze.

“It is alright Clarke” Niylah said, standing up “It won’t be too long until you’re healed” She bent down for her shirt, slipping it on over her head. Niylah reached her hand out helping Clarke to stand. “And if you still have desires, you know where to find me”

“You make it sound like some kind of transaction” Clarke laughed, putting her hand over her mouth to try and stifle it.

“Well isn’t it? In a world like ours Clarke, you get it where you can” Niylah winked, a soft chuckle escaping her lips.

“Oh so you ‘get it’ often huh?” Clarke asked, eyebrows slightly raised in amusement and curiosity.

“No not really, and especially not with someone as stunning as you” Niylah smiled, lifting Clarke’s hand to her lips and planting a soft kiss. Clarke rolled her eyes, a scoff escaping her lips. She stood up, walking around Niylah towards the door.

“You’re ridiculous” She laughed reaching for the handle of the door, but before opening it she turned, blue meeting brown “But seriously, thank you for everything.” Niylah smiled in return.

“Anytime Clarke” She responded as the blonde opened the door and left, making her way back to her room on the other side of the outpost.

* * *

Sleep was still hopeless and unattainable as Clarke lay in bed that night tossing and turning. She couldn’t seem to get the Commander out of her mind, her soft eyes searching for something in Clarke. What that was, Clarke couldn’t figure out. 

Just as she hid her feelings, the Commanders features remained stoic as well. The mask of ‘The Heda’ pulled down, the young girl hiding behind a straight spine, hard eyes and a chiseled jaw. A sadness clawed at Clarke’s heart at the thought of the young brunette having to lead not only one outpost, but eleven others. Having responsibility of only seven people seemed like a lot for Clarke at times, yet the green eyed girl held her shoulders high, and her chin straight refusing to let any weakness show behind her stoic grace. Then what confused Clarke the most was the conversation they had. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the Commander of the twelve clans was flirting with her. Possibly even hinting at something more. 

Clarke bit her lip as a frown painted it’s way across her features. She huffed, given in to the hope of sleep taking over, as she pulled the covers off her and sat up. Stretching as gently as she could, to not tear a stitch, she stood up. Hearing commotion just outside her room her curiosity was peaked. Looking down at the watch at her wrist out of habit, knowing it was broken, she could only guess it was close to two in the morning. 

She leaned over opening the drawer to her nightstand, reaching in for the box of matches she knew were kept there. Quickly lighting the lantern next to her bed, and blowing out the match, she checked herself in the mirror, smoothing down ruffled bed hair. She was unconcerned about her clothes being the same as the day before, since she hasn’t changed out of regular clothes to sleep since this began. (Seeing it as unrealistic in a world filled with the dead.) Despite being in this place, she couldn’t help but keep old habits up, not knowing when or if this all will crumple around her.

Walking into the seemingly empty courtyard of the outpost, Clarke used the now raised voices as an indication of the direction she was headed. Nearing the sound she slowed down just out of site of the front gates as they were being opened. Crouching down behind the nearest closed market stand, she peeked out slowly, only able to see the backs of guards as they crowded around whomever was now walking through the gates. Getting frustrated with the lack of visual, Clarke grit her teeth, trying to decide whether it was a good idea to announce her presence. Coming to the realization that feeding her curiosity was more important than concealing herself. 

Taking a deep breath she lifted herself from the ground, walking out behind the market counter. Peering around she realized nobody had taken notice of her yet, and if they had they didn’t seem to be bothered, far more interested in whatever they were leering at.   
Pushing her way through muscular soldier after the next she managed to get close enough to see multiple people walking in. Squinting her eyes against the dark she let out an irritated huff, her patience finally snapping. 

Jamming her elbow into the brawny man in front of her she used the moment he was hunched over, hands to his side, to slip passed him, weaving her way through the last few bodies until she made it to the front. Chest heaving from the exertion, and silently hoping she hadn’t pulled a stitch, Clarke squinted, trying to make out the shadows in the darkness. The only light being the spotlight shining on the newcomers, making it nearly impossible to make out their faces.

“If you’re going to kill us what was the point of bringing us back here? You guys have some fucked up fetishes or what?” Clarke’s throat went dry, eyes wide.

She knew that voice.

“Do us all a favor Murph, and shut the fuck up” Clarke’s breath caught in her throat, that was Bellamy.

Clarke felt a little dizzy as she willed her body to make the few steps forward. She had to confirm with her eyes what her ears are telling her.

“I don’t think any of us should be talking right now guys” That was Finn, his voice a little hoarse but distinguishable. Taking a final step into the spotlight instead of outside of it, she blinked a few times as the faces came into focus.

“Holy shit” Murphy whispered, barely audible over the rapid thumps of Clarke’s heart. Bellamy stepped forward.

“Clarke?” His voice sounded almost foreign in Clarke’s ears, afraid she wouldn’t hear him or any of her friends ever again. She quickly nodded, a silent cry catching in the back of her throat. She closed the distance between the three, looking across their faces she couldn’t help her lips from painting into a smile. Grabbing all three of them and huddling them into an awkward, but much needed, group hug.

“How is this possible?” Clarke didn’t realize she said it out loud until she heard Murphy scoff next to her.

“You’re asking us that? How the hell did you get out of the mountain?” He asked incredulously. The other two nodding along, obviously just as curious about the blonde’s escape as he was.

“That’s a long story” Clarke said smiling, only now just realizing the missing members of their group. 

“Well we have plenty of time Princess” Bellamy smirked. As much as Clarke hated that nickname, she was happy to hear it again. 

“Wait, what are you guys even doing here?” Clarke ignored Bellamy, more curious about her friends and the other missing members of their group.

“We were scouting and a group of them snuck up on us. Didn’t even realize they were there until they were in front of us.” Bellamy said, voice low as he looked at Clarke. Small curls falling into his eyes.

“I thought they were the Mountain Men… I didn’t even think before I shot” Finn voice was small now, seemingly nonexistent.

“Wait, Finn you killed someone?” Clarke’s heart sank when he nodded in confirmation. She looked down, her mind reeling through possibilities and outcomes. “Does the Commander know?” Clarke was greeted with worried expressions, already answering her question before a melodious voice crept up behind her.

“Yes Clarke, I am aware” Clarke turned around, blue meeting green. If there was a young girl trapped behind those eyes she was long gone now. Standing in front of Clarke was a stoic leader, furious and rigid in her movements. The leader of the twelve clans in full armor, two swords attached to her back. Looking over her features Clarke could see the dirt smears on her smooth skin, the dried blood spatter on her collar, indicating she was with the scouting troupe when they ambushed her people.

“What happens now?” Clarke’s voice was small and timid even to her own ears. Slowly stepping back to stand in front of her friends, creating an invisible line now between her and the Commander. 

“We must punish the guilty Clarke” The Commander took a step forward then, her hands grasped behind her back. As their eyes met Clarke couldn’t help but see a tinge of regret in the forest greens in front of her. “Blood must have blood.” As if she were singing a chorus of a famous song, all the men and women surrounding them began chanting in a native tongue. The same words Clarke remembers Anya saying in the Mountain when they first met.

“Jus drein jus daun!” 

“Jus drein jus daun!”

“Jus drein jus daun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter don't hesitate to leave a comment or a Kudo. It gives me more motivation than you guys realize. Thank you again!


	7. The Extra Mile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a mini reunion with some of her group and then goes to talk with Lexa about Finn's fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I'm so sorry it took me so long on this one! I've been hit with the BlockBUG! Serious writers block for a few weeks now. I honestly didn't even expect to be able to get this chapter posted so soon, but the comments have boosted my esteem and I just started typing and bang! biggest chapter so far, and I will warn you: it's sort of a filler chapter. Explains some of the coalitions history so it's understood in this world a bit better. Anyway! I hope you enjoy :)

After the commotion died down Finn was taken by two guards to a building in the back of the outpost. When Clarke reached out to try and stop them Lexa had gripped her arm stopping her before she could say anything.

“They’re taking him to a secluded building where a few cells have been set up. He will be okay for now, just guarded.” Clarke nodded in return, not seeming completely convinced but knowing she couldn’t do anything about it at this moment. She turned around to look at the two others from her group. Bellamy’s fists were clenched at his sides as he watched Finn get taken away. Murphy seemed to want to follow them, only being stopped by the silent head shake he received from Bellamy. 

Once Finn was out of view they turned back to face Clarke, waiting for further instruction. She sighed to herself, as much as she missed her friends she didn’t miss the leadership that came with it. 

Lexa had turned around to address her people, turning their attention away from Clarke’s group and back on to their assigned posts or back to bed. Clarke took the moment to finally get a clear look at the two in front of her. She could see from their faces that they’ve struggled just as much if not more since she’s been gone. She swallowed down the guilt she felt and squared her shoulders. She couldn’t let her fear show to them or it would only make matters worse.

“When was the last time you both have slept more than a couple of hours?” She asked, looking at both of them for an answer, not caring who gives it. She received a small shrug from Murphy, hard eyes still on the building Finn was escorted to. She sighed, turning to Bellamy for a real answer.

“Probably been a day or two honestly, we ran out of supplies days ago so I grabbed Murph and Finn and we went on a supply run.” Bellamy said, his eyes not leaving Clarke’s. Looking at him this closely she could see the dark lines under his eyes and the way his body slumped over slightly from exhaustion. A tinge of worry crept through her bones for her other people, knowing they were probably just as bad off, but she tried her best to ignore it. As much as she needed to get back to the rest of her group, she wanted to make sure the two in front of her were properly cared for first.

“Okay, you both need a proper meal and some rest. We can figure everything else out after you both don’t look like death.” Clarke stated, finally catching Murphy’s eyes as he turned his attention from the building.

“What the fuck is going on here Clarke? Where are we? Who are these people?” Murph asked, talking so quickly Clarke almost didn’t catch what he said.

“This is Trikru outpost. These people have established a safe haven from the outside” Clarke said, not wanting to go into too much detail right now. It was a long conversation that she knew they needed to have, but it could wait until they were fully rested. Seeming to read Clarke’s thoughts Bellamy spoke.

“We have a lot to discuss, on both sides but I won’t lie to you I could use a good rest” Clarke nodded, a soft smile curling on her lips.

“Wait, where the fuck did they just take Finn?” Murphy asked, clearly not appreciating their lack of urgency or care for their friend. Before Clarke could open her mouth to answer a voice from behind her did instead.

“Finn has been taken to one of our cells to be guarded for now.” Lexa said, coming to stand next to Clarke. Lexa looked to the two men in front of her, she could see their uneasiness and mistrust. “He will be properly fed and taken care of” Lexa reassured before they had a chance to ask. They both nodded, seeming to accept the situation for now. After a moment of silence Clarke turned to her, a new uneasiness within her as well. Lexa had to ignore the disappointment stirring under the surface, turning to face the blonde as she spoke, a stoic expression painting her face.

“Are there any extra rooms they could use?” Clarke asked hesitantly. Lexa could see now what Anya saw in the blonde girl. The leader behind the sky blue eyes and the sun bleached hair. The girl she so wished she could be, snuffed away by a leadership title she did not ask for. Lexa related to this girl more than she thought, and that fact alone terrified her. Clarke spoke again, tearing her from her thoughts. 

“If not I’ll just put them in my room, they need to get some sleep” Clarke said, not knowing how to judge the silence from the Commander. Lexa cleared her throat, coming back to the matter at hand.

“We have plenty of rooms in the guest quarters” Lexa answered, nodding in the direction of the refurbished hotel the blonde was staying at as well. “I already have the rooms being prepared, there is a small meal being reheated in the rec room for you both while you wait” She said, gesturing behind her in the direction of the rec room. Both men just stood there, a confused and curious look within their eyes. She turned to Clarke her lips twitching up slightly to match the blonde’s smile.

“Thank you” Clarke stopped herself, clearly wanting to say more. Her brow furrowed down in concentration as she bit the inside of her cheek. Lexa noticed it was a quality Clarke did when she was deep in thought. “I’m going to get them settled in, I hope you will stay awake so I can talk to you about Finn” Clarke finally said, eyes going a little dark as she said the boys name. 

Lexa nodded “Of course. I won’t be sleeping for a while anyway, there is too much that needs to be done.” She said, turning her attention to the two others. “I hope you both get some much needed rest, we will speak soon.” They both nodded, still guarded. The mistrust in their eyes was proof enough to Lexa that they would not be swayed anytime soon.

“This way guys, lets get you some food” Clarke said, gesturing for the two to follow her as she turned around in the direction of the rec room.

“Like real food?” Lexa heard one of the boys ask as they walked away, the one she believes the other called Murph. Clarke laughed, the sound like music in Lexa’s ears, draping an arm over the boy Clarke smiled.

“Yes Murph, like real food.” She answered, taking one last look at Lexa, sending her heart into her stomach. As they walked further away the last thing the commander caught of the conversation was the one called Murphy fist bumping the air and stating:

“Fuck yeah! This place isn’t so bad after all” Lexa let her lip curl up into a small smile, making a mental note to get to know the strange boy, appreciating his witty sense of humor.

* * *

Lexa let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding the second the blonde and her friends walked out of view. Rubbing her face with the palm of her hand she sighed and started making her way back to her quarters. She wore her Commander mask the entire walk back, not wishing her people to see how tired and worn out this night has made her. She can’t help but feel a small ball of guilt forming in her chest over what must happen with Clarke’s friend. As much as she despised her clans way of handling things she knew the second she tried to change things so suddenly there would be a revolt. She was not looking forward to the conversation she was going to have with Clarke.

Making her way up the steps to her quarters she nodded at the two guards positioned at the front door, making sure to inform them of Clarke’s arrival later. Walking inside, she went straight for her room desperate to change out of the clothes she wore. Looking at the mirror as she started unbuttoning the clasps, she noticed the dried blood stains now coating part of her attire. Sighing she slipped them off, throwing them into the corner of her room, making a mental note to burn them later. She hadn’t known the deceased very well, only having seen him in passing during a hunt or a scouting mission she was a part of. Still, she couldn’t help but feel remorse for the loss her clan took. One life wasn’t much in the scheme of things, but in a world like this every life is valuable.

Finally getting into clean clothes she made her way over to the vanity in the corner of the room. Slowly she began undoing the braids that have come loose and re-braiding them back. Doing her hair was always calming for Lexa, having done it as a way of self soothing sense she was a child. Reaching down for a new band and tying it around one of her new finished braids, she heard a light knock on the door. 

“Enter” She said, choosing to remain where she was, only looking up into the mirror to see who it was.

“Heda” Indra said, bowing her head slightly in respect, hands clasped together in front of her. “I have come to discuss the fate of the outsider”

Lexa sighed, finishing up her final braid before putting both hands on the table in front of her and standing. Turning to face Indra, the Commanders mask firmly in place. 

“His fate will be decided by me Indra and it will be done on my own time”

“Forgive me Heda but there is much unrest among the Clan, even in this late hour they are demanding justice” Indra responded, eyes now facing the floor. Lexa clenched her jaw in frustration. This happened less than an hour ago and already her people were demanding something she was trying to avoid. “I am afraid of the chaos when everyone wakens” It was said in a whisper, but Lexa heard it loud and clear. Using her middle finger and thumb to rub her temples she turned back around, walking towards one of the windows at the far wall, looking over the outpost as she spoke.

“There are many things our people need to learn, and patience is one of them” Lexa said, now turning to look at Indra, green meeting brown. “Take whoever you need but keep everyone calm for now until a decision is made. Once that is done I will make a public announcement to the entire clan, as well as sending messengers to the other clans so they are aware”

“I’m sorry Heda, but decision? What decision needs to be made about this boy? He killed one of our own, the only option is death.” Indra said, words coming out harsher than she intended. Realizing her place again she cleared her throat before continuing. “I apologize for my outburst Heda, but you must be joking”

“You have watched me grow up Indra, been around me my entire life, when have you ever known me to joke about such things?” Lexa asked, arms crossed behind her back, shoulders squared. She dared Indra to argue with her, almost wished for it to happen so she would have an excuse to let out all her frustrations on the General. Indra opened her mouth to say something but was stopped by a sudden knock on the door. The two woman stood there, not daring to be the first to break eye contact. After another minute the knock sounded again, but instead of breaking the stare she just called to the person behind the door.

“You may Enter” Slowly the door was pushed open, a hesitant guard poking his head in just enough to get a glimpse at his Commander.

“Heda, Clarke is here to speak with you” He said, only opening the door a bit more so he could stand in the doorway, not making an attempt to enter. Nobody entered Heda’s personal room, the only two people allowed are Indra and Anya, and only because both woman have a closer relationship with their Heda than most. Lexa nodded, still not turning to face the guard, keeping her eyes locked on Indra’s. He gave a small nod in response before leaving to go get the blonde. Lexa sighed, closing her eyes, feeling how heavy her eyelids have become as she struggled to reopen them.

“I know you are frustrated Indra, but you must have faith that I will sort this all out. You just have to keep the people under control until then” Lexa said, hoping the false confidence laced in her voice would persuade the other woman. It did, but it only seemed to comfort the general some, a question still itching on the tip of her tongue.

“When?” Indra asked, unable to stop herself. Before Lexa could answer there was another knock on the door, this time it opened a second later. The guard that came in previously now stood holding the door open as the blonde entered the room. 

“Clarke has arrived, Heda.” Her blue eyes scanning the room quickly before landing on the guard at the door, a small smile of thanks curling at the corners of her lips, before turning her attention back onto Lexa. The Commander could have sworn she saw her turn red in front of her, the anger within the blonde finally reaching it’s breaking point, boiling over the edge at the only person she could direct it at.

The Commander.

* * *

Clarke could feel Lexa’s eyes on her as she walked away with her friends. She barely picked up the excitement in Murphy’s voice for food, but turned in his direction gifting him with a small smile. Shaking her head of all thoughts of the Commander for now, she draped her arms over both their shoulders pulling them in for a small hug.

“So glad to see you guys again”

“You have no idea Princess” Bellamy responds, returning the hug with a smile.

“As much as I’m happy to see you again Clarke, I’m starving and I need sustenance before we get into any mushy shit” Murphy said, returning the hug quickly before shrugging her arm off. Clarke shook her head chuckling to herself. No matter what, Murphy will never change.

Finally reaching the rec room Clarke led them over to one of the many empty tables, leaving them to go grab their meals. When she opened the door to the small kitchen she smiled at the older woman that was there, clearly cleaning up after heating up their meals. The woman nodded towards the two plates placed on the counter in front of her. Clarke grabbed them facing the woman again.

“Thank you so much for this, you can go on to bed I can finish cleaning all this up.” The woman stared at Clarke curiously, maybe unsure if this was a trick or not.

“It- it’s really alright. I work in the kitchen, if a meal is needed to be made or taken care of that is my job.” The woman’s brown eyes seemed to soften then as she looked at Clarke “No matter the time.” She smiled for the first time then, having some trust in this light haired outsider. 

“Yes that may be, but I’m sure cleaning the entire kitchen after by yourself isn’t.” Clarke responded, her lips twitching into a smile in return. She looked towards the door she entered from remembering about her friends. “Just let me get this food out to my friends and if you don’t wish to leave then we’ll finish cleaning together, deal?” The woman sat there stunned for a minute, not really sure how to respond. Just as she opened her mouth, hoping something would come out, the woman was interrupted from a loud bang in the front room. Both woman’s attention was now on the door separating them from the strange noise. Clarke just chuckled shaking her head.

“That would be my friends getting impatient, let me get this to them and I’ll be right back” Clarke was already turned around walking towards the door before she stopped, turning around to address the woman once more.

“I’m Clarke by the way”

“Cece” The dark haired woman replied, extending out her hand. Clarke accepted the shake, gripping the woman’s forearm instead. A small gasp of surprise escaped the other woman as she gripped Clarke forearm.

“It’s nice to meet you Cece” Another loud bang could be heard in the main room followed by a few grunts. Clarke rolled her eyes, “I’ll be right back, I need to feed them before they kill each other.” The blonde laughed, backing into the door to open it, because her hands were full.

Making her way towards the table she could see Bellamy now on the floor, his arm restrained behind his back by Murphy.

“Told you I could pin you down Bell!” Murphy laughed, releasing the now grumbling Bellamy. Clarke placed down the trays before turning towards them, a scowl on her face.

“I leave you guys for five minutes and you can’t just behave!” Clarke yelled exasperated. It’s way too late to be dealing with this, especially because it seemed like she wouldn’t be greeted with the bed she’s come to get used to any time soon. She needed to find the rest of her people and get Finn out of this mess he got himself in. 

Clarke sighed, sitting down next to Bellamy and putting her head in her hands. Both men stopped eating and looked between Clarke and each other, unsure how to comfort the small Blonde. Bellamy was the first to break the silence, clearing his throat to get her attention. She took a deep breath and moved two fingers to the side so one eye peeked out, looking towards Bellamy.

“You okay Princess?” Bellamy asked, stuffing another slice of meat into his mouth. He couldn’t contain the soft moan that escaped his lips from the taste. He hadn’t had food this good since before he was arrested. Not even at Jaha Correctional did they get food with this much flavor. Clarke removed her hands from her face and stared at her two friends as they stuffed their faces. She smiled softly, not able to contain the excitement about having seen them again.

“So where are the others?” Clarke asked after a few minutes, choosing to ignore Bellamy for now. She wanted to give them a little while to enjoy the meal, knowing full well how amazing that first meal is here, but her patience wore thin and then snapped. She couldn’t wait any longer.

“Where we left em’” Murphy responds with a full mouth. Chewing and speaking between bites, not showing any signs of slowing down. Clarke had to contain from rolling her eyes, she might have missed him but his sarcastic attitude was something she could have gone without. She was about to chew him out, not having the patience or the energy for his bullshit before Bellamy spoke.

“We found and secured a shopping center a few miles from here, called Ark Sky Mall or something like that.”

“Arkadia-Skies Mall” Murphy corrected, continuing to shove food into his already full mouth.

“Yeah, that.” Bellamy agreed pointing his fork at Murphy.

“That’s how your friends found us, I guess it’s on their land or some shit” Murphy mumbled, taking a bite of the roll on his plate.

“They-” Clarke paused, not knowing how to respond to that. She knew the Trikru as a whole was nowhere close to having her trust. Yet she couldn’t deny the fact that certain people were trustworthy. She knew she had become some sort of friends with Anya. Niylah she had grown closer to then she had ever thought possible in a few short days, and Lincoln seemed friendly enough. Then there was Lexa, and Clarke couldn’t help but notice the warmth in her chest when she thought of the Commander. Looking at her friends she decided to go with a half truth.

“I honestly know just as much as you do about them. I’ve only been in a formal meeting with the Commander once, and that didn’t go very well” Clarke bit her bottom lip, remembering the conversation she had with the Brunette. “I met a few people in the short time I’ve been here, and besides a couple glares here and there everyone seems to be welcoming.”

“Yeah being held at gunpoint and having one of your people locked up for self defense is really ‘welcoming’” Bellamy said, gesturing in quotations when he said the word ‘welcoming’. 

“I know, and I get your frustrations. I’m planning on having a talk with the Commander and sorting this all out when I get you guys to your rooms” Looking down at their half finished plates Clarke remembers the woman she left in the kitchen. “Why don’t you guys just finish your food and we’ll talk about all this later, I’m just going to run to the back and help with the clean up real quick” As Clarke stood up she heard Murphy scoff into his plate.

“That’s our Clarke, always helping out everyone else” The blonde just gave him a toothy smile as she walked away leaving her friends to stuff their faces in peace.

When Clarke reached the kitchen Cece was in the middle of wiping off a counter. Clarke greeted her with a smile and walked over to the pile of dishes in the makeshift basin in the corner of the room. Pumping a little water from the well to fill the bottom of the basin Clarke grabbed a cloth, dabbing a small amount of soap on it before picking up the first dish and beginning to clean. It was about two minutes in to her scrubbing when she noticed the uncomfortable silence that fell over the kitchen. Turning around she noticed Cece had stopped cleaning the counter and was staring curiously at Clarke. The blonde lifted an eyebrow in question, not having to find the words for Cece to understand. The woman’s eyes hit the ground instantly, a slight blush hitting her cheeks.

“I apologize Ma’am, I am just not used to receiving help like this. Especially from someone high ranking” Cece replied, clearing her voice and focusing back on her task. Clarke’s brow furrowed, not understanding what the woman meant.

“High ranking?” Clarke asked

“Yes, high ranking. You are a leader of your own Clan, yes?” Clarke smiled at the thought. A clan is far from what her small group of eight were, and thinking of herself as a leader was something she still couldn’t grasp her mind around. Shaking her head she put down the dish she was working on to face Cece.

“I am no leader. Just someone trying to keep her friends alive” She responded, watching Cece continue to scrub the same spot on the counter nervously. She placed her hand atop hers to stop her. “Please, I am just a normal person like anyone else, don’t feel like you have to treat me different.” Cece smiled and nodded in response, still feeling slightly intimidated by the blonde. 

“And no more ‘Ma’am’ talk. Please just call me Clarke” 

“Of course… Clarke” Cece said, still a little apprehensive, but deciding there was no reason not to trust the blonde. Her lips twitched into a gentle smile as Clarke turned back towards the dishes and she turned her attention to the trash still needing to be taken out.

Both woman finished the rest of their tasks in a comfortable silence. Neither needing to say anything further, as they worked. When the kitchen was clean and the garbage was properly disposed of Clarke said her goodbyes to Cece making her way back out into the main room.

As she strode towards the table she noticed both guys leaning back against their chairs, hands to their stomachs. Murphy had his shirt pulled up a little with his pants unbuttoned to give his stomach more room to expand. Looking down at the table she noticed both plates were practically licked clean.

“I guess I don’t have to ask if you guys enjoyed that” Clarke said, clear amusement in her voice. Both responded with a mutual groan, clearly trying to fight off sleep. Clarke shook her head, lightly hitting Murphy’s shoulder. “Alright it’s time to get up, you both have to stay conscious enough to walk to your room.” Bellamy opened one eye, a smile painting his lips.

“You don’t want to carry us Princess?” Bellamy chuckled, closing his eye again.

“Yeah come on, we’ve had a rough journey. Could definitely use some pampering” Murphy added, crossing his arms over his chest and snuggling into his body, acting as if he’s getting comfortable. Clarke rolled her eyes, trying to hide the smile that threatened to show. She couldn’t deny how much she missed the playful banter between her friends.

“You guys can either get the hell up or sleep here tonight” Clarke retorted, beginning to walk away “but just a fair warning. A majority of the outpost wakes up at the crack of dawn, so this place is going to be swarming with people in a few hours” She laughed as they both shot out of their seats grabbing their trays and placing them in the bin by the door as they followed Clarke outside.

* * *

After she took Bell and Murphy to their room and got them settled, promising to catch up on everything in the morning, she began her walk to the Commanders Quarters. As she ventured through the outpost she couldn’t help her eyes from looking towards the small building where they were keeping Finn. She felt her stomach tighten at the thought of him locked up. She could only hope that what Lexa said was true and he would be properly fed and taken care of until they sorted everything out.

When the large house of the Commander came into view her blood began to boil. She knew who Finn was, and a killer wasn’t it. She clenched her hands into fists, feeling her nails dig into her palms. She had to get through to the Commander that the man they’re keeping locked up would do anything before taking a life. That it was a mistake and they were wrong about their presumptions of him, because they didn’t know him. 

They didn’t know it took Finn weeks after the infection hit for him to actually kill a walker. They didn’t know that he kept count of every single life he ever took. Living or dead. They didn’t know that the first time he ever did kill a living person, it was to save Raven from sharing the same fate. And they sure as hell didn’t know that he couldn’t sleep for weeks, those lives clawing at his subconscious until he couldn’t trust his own thoughts anymore. They had no fucking clue how long it took Clarke and Raven to get through to him. To tear down that wall he built around himself so he can trust himself again. So he could accept himself again.

As she made her way up the steps she couldn’t contain her anger anymore. Letting her mask of indifference fall from her face, only to be replaced with pure rage. She wasn’t going to accept any other solution except Finn’s release. She still had her other people to get to, but couldn’t trust to leave Finn here alone. 

She nodded at the guards as she approached, she received a brief nod in response as they opened the door for her. Clearly they had been told she would be arriving. When she walked in she stopped as the door closed behind her, just as before she was standing in a large room. A long table was on one side, a dozen or so chairs surrounding it. Maps and diagrams of all sorts littered the walls behind it. Squinting so she could see better in the candle light she noticed there were far less people here than once before. Now there were only two more guards on either side of the staircase, obviously Heda’s personal guards. She cleared her voice trying to keep her tone passive while speaking.

“I am here to speak with Heda” Clarke said, eyeing both men in front of her. Neither acknowledge her existence, just grunted in response as one of them turns to walk upstairs. Clarke looks up in confusion, eyeing the remaining guard.

“Am I supposed to follow?” Clarke asked the remaining man, pointing to the guard who has now disappeared down the upstairs hallway. The guard just shook his head in response, still avoiding looking at her. Clarke huffed in frustration, she had to clench her teeth down before she screamed at him. She was beyond exhausted and the last couple of hours have been emotionally taxing to say the least. The last thing she needed was a big grumpy guy giving her attitude. Just as she was about to turn and give the man a piece of her mind the other guard appeared gesturing for her to follow.

“Heda will see you now.”

“Oh so they do speak!” Clarke says sarcastically as she followed the man up the stairs. She couldn’t be sure but she might have seen a small smile show on the remaining guards face as she passed him, but it was quickly wiped away as soon as it appeared.

Instead of leading her towards the double doors at the end of the hall like she had the first time, he stopped at a door closer to the stairs, knocking once before entering.

“Clarke has arrived, Heda.”

* * *

“Now are you going to tell me what the fuck happened out there!? What is this blood must have blood bullshit, and how the hell do I get Finn out of this?” Clarke’s questions flowed from her mouth like a waterfall. Lexa’s eyes widened momentarily at the blonde’s sudden outburst but then quickly steadied herself. Throwing her mask back on before her General or worse, this blonde stranger, saw her weakness. Lexa cleared her throat, dropping the conversation she was having with her General and giving the woman a nod of dismissal. Indra’s gaze flickered between the two women, a calm fury beginning to build in her eyes when they landed on Clarke.

“Heda” Indra responded, understanding her talk with the Commander was over. She took her eyes off the blonde long enough to bow her head at Lexa before she turned and left the room, leaving the two women alone. Lexa turned to Clarke, now looking the blonde over. She could see the circles under her eyes that she knew matched her own. Ignoring Clarke’s questions Lexa strolled over to the door opening it and gesturing to the blonde.

“Clarke, I was hoping to meet you in my office, but I was not expecting an impromptu meeting with my General. Please follow me and we can discuss these matters in a more-” Lexa paused, feeling the heat in her cheeks, “appropriate setting.” Clarke’s face turned red as she eyed the bed, just now noticing where she was. She turned to meet Lexa’s eyes and nodded, walking out the door, the Commander right behind her.

It was a short walk to her office, but it didn’t stop the awkward tension from draping over the two. Both of them growing more stiff with every step they took. Lexa lead the blonde to a set of double doors at the end of the hall. She remembers this was where she was brought the first time she met the brunette. 

Stepping inside she didn’t sit down on the chair Lexa offered to her, instead shaking her head and crossing her arms. A brow lifted in a silent question, waiting for Lexa to acknowledge the concerns she voiced before. The brunette stared at her for awhile, unsure how to answer the blonde before she sighed, realizing what she must do.

“I have to explain the coalition and the clans for you to understand. Our history can explain why Finn is where he is right now.” Clarke didn’t respond, just waited patiently for Lexa to continue. Realizing the blonde wouldn’t be sitting down anytime soon, the Commander decided to sit down herself, rubbing her temples. The pain in her head seemed to be growing stronger the longer they remained in silence.

“The clans are technically a set of tribes founded centuries ago. When the government and the world was still intact, the ground you are standing on was a part of a reservation. A reservation owned and ran by the Coalition.” Lexa said eyeing Clarke for any reaction, when she received none she continued.

“The Commander was chosen centuries ago to create peace among our tribes when an unfamiliar people ventured on our land, threatening war. Thus creating the Coalition that still remains strong today, even after the infection” Lexa says, reaching into her desk and pulling out different papers and old newspaper clippings, spreading them all out on the desk in front of her so Clarke could see them better. “This is all we have left of our history Clarke. Just a couple of old clippings from newspapers years ago. We have nothing left, it was all destroyed in fires when the infection spread.” Clarke could see the sadness behind the mask the Commander wore so well. She didn’t say anything, knowing the brunette wasn’t finished and not wanting to rush her through something so difficult.

“The whole reason I’m telling you this is so you understand why I make the decisions I do. As a leader of not just one clan but twelve I have a responsibility to my people.”

“Blood must have blood” Clarke whispers, speaking up for the first time since they walked in the room. Lexa nods, not breaking eye contact with Clarke. She wants the blonde to understand why she does what she does. 

“Yes. It has been the way of our people for hundreds of years.”

“It couldn’t have still been that way though right? I mean this was a real place, you said it yourself, that it was a reservation. I know you have certain rights in your lands but I don’t think killing people out of vengeance was one of em’” Clarke said, eyebrow quirking up in question. Lexa had to hide the smile that threatened to show, she couldn’t help but be thrilled by the blonde’s confidence and wit.

“You’re right, they had tamed down Jus drein jus daun centuries ago. Making sure that banishment and imprisonment were the only punishments allowed.” Lexa said, standing up and walking over to a small drink table in the corner, pouring a small glass of deep burgundy liquor, gesturing in question if Clarke would like one as well. The blonde shook her head turning down the offered drink. 

“So what happened to that? Banishment seems fair enough” Clarke said, eyes now looking over the various papers on Lexa’s desk. Lexa nodded taking a big swig of her drink before walking back over to her desk, looking down at the clipping Clarke was looking over.

“The infection happened. At first there wasn’t any need for Jus drein jus daun. The clans were so focused on securing their lands and sustaining food and water that it was the last thing on anyone’s mind.” Lexa sighed, sitting back down at her chair. Leaning back, she took one more swig of her drink before closing her eyes. 

“Then the maunon showed. Slowly our people began going missing, never to be seen again. Not even in the eyes of the undead.” She opens her eyes again, falling deep into an ocean blue staring back at her. “Then people noticed our lands, our securities, our food sources. Everything that everyone out there was dying for.” She paused taking a deep breath “I wasn’t the Commander at the time the infection hit-” Lexa whispered, eyes now back on the desk in front of her. 

“My father was the Commander. He wanted so badly to help the people on the outside. To offer them a place to live and a community to be a part of. It seemed to go well at first, a few groups here and there trickled in, assimilating to whatever clan accepted them.” Lexa took another swig downing the rest of her drink, she sighed fighting the bitter taste as it slid down her throat. She didn’t notice how long she was lost in thought before Clarke spoke up.

“W-what happened?” Clarke asked, her voice coming out far more choked then she meant it to.

“Some men decided they didn’t like having to adapt with the clans, they didn’t want to put in the work and effort as other clan members to keep everything running smoothly. It was the Delfikru. They had taken in three men from the streets that seemed willing to work for their place. After a week they didn’t agree to the terms any longer, my father had to make the trip to the Delphi clan to try and find a solution to the problem.” Lexa could no longer look at the blonde in front of her, eyes going to anywhere but her as she spoke the next words.

“They apparently had more than the three men with them. When my father showed up the clan was completely overrun. The men sent signal to their people outside the walls and they sent a horde straight into the gates. They killed many of my people, including my father” Lexa’s voice seemed farther to her ears. She hadn’t ever said this story out loud before, and now saying it to another person (a complete stranger at that) it was bringing up emotions inside of Lexa that she tried for months to bury under the surface. “They did all that for a few weapons and some food. Took off after the slaughter to try and make an escape.”

“Did they?” Clarke asked, now deciding to sit down in the chair Lexa offered to her earlier, silently wishing she took her up on the drink as well.

“No. When word got back about my father I had became the new Heda, so with the new power I had in my command I took a group of men with me and tracked them down. We killed everyone in their group except the three men that joined the clan, they were brought back to Delfikru to face their fate among my people. It was an unanimous decision that Jus drein jus daun would be once again practiced within the Coalition.” Lexa said, standing up and going to poor herself another drink. Clarke accepted the offered drink this time, thankfully taking a big swig before speaking.

“That’s why you’re cautious about accepting new people into your clans” Clarke stated, now starting to understand the brunette in front of her. Lexa nodded, falling back in her chair from exhaustion. She was over trying to hide it at this point, the entire night has been far too heavy for her to handle with her mask glued on.

“I don’t tell you these things for you to take pity on me or my people Clarke. I tell you this so you understand that for most things, what I says goes. But for situations like these: when a life within the Coalition was taken by an outsider. It is unfortunately the clans ultimate decision about your friends outcome.” Lexa said leaning back in her chair, swirling the drink in her hand. Looking at the blonde she could see the wheels turning in her mind as she contemplates her next question.

“So there is a trial? Or a vote about his fate?” Clarke asked, trying to wrap her mind around all the new information. Lexa shook her head.

“Not exactly. Honestly for a situation like this it is automatic law in our lands for blood to have blood. But like I said what I say goes for most things, so I will try and postpone this for as long as possible. I do believe that the positive impact you have had on the clan when it came to the mountain will bode well for you if you want to try and have an open defence for him.” Clarke thought about that for a moment. She knew she could try and talk Finn’s way out of this but she also knew it was a slim chance that she would be successful. She knew one person that might be though.

“I need to get the rest of my people.” Clarke said, downing the remainder of her drink and standing up, placing the cup on the desk “If you could postpone this whole thing until I can bring them back here I know they would be a big asset in his defense.” Lexa nodded, thinking about how long she’d be able to hold off her people.

“I think I could stretch this out for a week, but I have one condition” Lexa says, standing up and walking around her desk to stand in front of Clarke. “I will accompany you on your journey and help you bring your friends here” Clarke was about to protest but Lexa held up a hand to stop her before she could say anything.

“It is only to help postpone his fate for as long as possible. I assure you that my people will not carry out any form of punishment on anyone, not even one of ours, unless I am present to witness it.” Lexa said cutting off the blondes concerns before she could voice them. Clarke seemed to be thinking it over for a moment, biting her bottom lip as her brow furrowed in concentration. Finally blue eyes met green and Lexa ignored the way her heart began to beat rapidly when they connected. Clarke seemed to have notice something as well, quickly stepping back away from Lexa and clearing her throat.

“I think that’s something we can work out, I’d like to leave as soon as possible” Clarke said.

“The morning after tomorrow. It should give you enough time to get some rest and catch up with your friends” Lexa said, going back to her desk and beginning to organize the papers and newspaper clippings that littered the small surface. “It gives me enough time to gather a group of warriors to join us”

Clarke nodded agreeing on the decided time, furrowing her brow at the last statement she looked at Lexa questioningly. “Warriors?”

“Sha, they are the men you have seen around. They are my personal guard, I call them my warriors.” Clarke nods in understanding

“That makes sense” Clarke said a small smile pulling at her lips “So the language you all speak then?”

“Trigedasleng” Lexa answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. The brunette couldn’t hide the smile that shown as she saw the confused look drape over the blonde’s features once more. “It is the language of our people. It was almost a forgotten language, only a few clans still use it, Trikru being one of them. We make sure each child is raised learning both Trig and Gonasleng” Lexa states, realizing what she said and laughing at another confused look on the blondes face.

“Sorry, Gonasleng means English in our language.” Lexa says as Clarke nods in understanding trying to hide the embarrassment from her cheeks.

“I can teach you some” Lexa inwardly chastised herself for speaking up, not really sure what came over her. “I mean, if you would like…” The brunette looks down, her own embarrassment coloring her cheeks.

“I’d actually like that, I think it would be nice to be able to communicate with your people in their language. They can see that I wish for my friends and I to assimilate ourselves into your culture, if you would accept us. No matter the situation Finn is in right now… This is the best place we’ve come across in almost a year.” Lexa nodded.

“Then we must rest. We shall begin our journey the day after next, prepare your people” Lexa said dismissing her with a nod. Clarke returned the gesture, stopping just as her hand touched the doorknob.

“Thank you Lexa. I know you don’t have to go the extra mile for Finn, and I really don’t know why you’re doing it.” She turned to look at the commander, her hand not leaving the knob. “But I really appreciate it” They stared at each other for a minute before Lexa nodded and Clarke left the room.

When the door shut Lexa flopped back down in her chair, her hands coming up to cover her face. She didn’t know why she was doing it either, all she knew was she had to try and keep the blonde here, and she knew if she lost one of her people to the Coalition there was no way the blue eyed wonder would ever choose to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh man, Lexa's starting to feel some things ;) mhmm. Anyway that was the filler chapter I have been dreading, so I hope it wasn't too brutal. Oh! And yes I made Cece technically apart of the Coalition. I just like her character and I couldn't fit her into Clarke's world any other way so that's how that came to be! Like always if you liked please leave a kudo or a comment. Let me know what you think, maybe give me some ideas for future chapters! I'm writing by chapter so everything is fresh! :) thanks! You guys are the best!


	8. Little Mouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have a little talk. Clarke finally gets to see Finn, and we learn a little more about Anya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I want to apologize about the super late update! I'm actually trying to work on another side story as well that I'm going to wait to post until this is finished or at least close to it. Don't worry I haven't given up on this story I just want to keep the chapters the same length for you guys and I'm having trouble finding the inspiration. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Clarke wakes up early the next day. She yawns and stretches taking ten minutes to wake up before she decides to get up and start her day. Today she needed to check on Finn and make sure he understood what was happening. She also wanted to catch up Bell and Murphy on the plan to get the rest of their people. She wanted to see Lexa at some point today as well. Telling herself it was just to go over the plans for their trip tomorrow, even if she can’t really convince herself that it was the only reason.

After she went over her plans for the day in her head a few more times she knew she couldn’t hold off on getting up any longer. Quickly she gets dressed and fixes her hair the best she can before making her way a couple doors down to the guys room. She knocks on the door softly and after a couple bangs and curses Bellamy opened the door with a wide grin.

“Good morning Princess, how are you this fine morning?” Bellamy asked, the smile just growing on his face. Clarke snorted at his peppiness for so early in the morning.

“Sleep well Bell?” She asked with a chuckle noticing the dark lines under his eyes were barely noticeable now.

“Hell yeah! First time in a year I’ve been able to sleep on a full stomach” He rubs his belly to prove a point. Clarke just laughs and nods in understanding. The first couple of nights she was here were the best sleep she had in a while. The pain medication they had her on for her injury kept her nightmares at bay, now unfortunately they were coming back.

“Well I just wanted you guys to know we’re heading out to grab the rest of the group in the morning. Where’s Murphy?” Clarke asked, now just noticing his absence.

“He headed to the showers the second he woke up this morning, I’m actually headed there when he gets back. Could use a real shower” He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Yeah I understand believe me” Clarke said laughing “Alright well I just wanted you both to know what’s going on. Fill Murphy in for me when he gets back please?” She said, nodding a goodbye and beginning to walk away.

“Clarke wait!” Bellamy called out to her before she could get too far. She turned around to address him “What’s going on with Finn? How is he?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing in worry.

“I’m working on getting him out of this shit, but I’m on my way to go check on him now” She answered, eyes catching onto the worry written on his face. “I’ll get him out of this Bell” His eyes met hers and he nodded once before turning around and walking back into the room. Clarke sighed rubbing her eyes with her hand, hoping beyond hope that she didn’t just lie to him.

* * *

Clarke made her way deeper into the outpost, everyone was already up and beginning their daily tasks. She headed towards the building they were keeping Finn, noticing the glares she was receiving from passerby’s. As she walked closer she noticed someone sitting on the front steps of the building in front of the guards stationed at the door. Nearing the figure she could see it was Murphy, his arms hanging off his knees as he plays with a blade of grass in his fingers.

“What’s up Murph?” Clarke asked, sitting down on the steps next to him “Bell told me you were in the showers” Murphy nodded, tearing at the ground with his fingers.

“I was, but when I was done I wanted to check on Finn. These assholes won’t let me in” Murphy retorted, signaling with his thumb to the two guards standing behind them.

Clarke looked at the two mean standing guard and sighed, standing up to address them herself. 

“If you would please let us pass we would like to see our friend” Clarke said, head tilting up to look the two very tall men in the eye. Neither of them moved from their position, only one looking down at her and acknowledging her existence before looking straight forward again with a grunt.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” She said under her breath, clearly beginning to get frustrated. She tried moving past them but was stopped by two spears being directed in her path. Looking up she noticed both guards eyes were on her now.

“No one speaks to the prisoner. Generals orders.” One of them grumbled, both using their spears to gently push her back away from the door. Clarke took a few steps back until she can no longer feel the guards spears on her chest. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she ran her fingers through her hair and walked back to sit by Murphy. Angry, whispered curses escaping her lips.

“I told you” Murphy said with a smirk, a small shred of disappointment behind his eyes. Clarke just sighed, nudging his shoulder with hers.

“It’ll be fine Murph, they just have certain orders to follow, but the Commander and I are on good terms. I’ll talk to her.” Clarke said, a small smile playing on her lips. As much as she didn’t believe in herself she knew her friends did, and she had to continue giving them that hope. Or what was the point? “Anyway I’m sure Bell is waiting for you to get back, he’s been itching for that shower.” Clarke said, putting her hands on her knees to help herself stand up.

“Yeah, I could barely get to sleep last night with the smell that filled our room” Murphy chuckled, standing as well. “Just let me know if you can see Finn will you? I just wanna make sure he’s okay.” Murphy said, the corner of his lip twitching into a sad smile.

“Of course.” Murphy nodded, seeming to accept Clarke’s answer.

“Thanks.” He said, eyes going to the floor. Murphy has never been good with feelings or emotional situations. He tends to grow uncomfortable, unable to have eye contact with anyone around him. The group never really understood why Murphy was the way he was. He never liked to talk about his past, especially before the infection. Maybe the group should have been more concerned about this aspect of their friend, but they didn’t question it. No, they never asked why, or what made him who he was because they all have demons in their past. Every single one of them had something from before they want to leave behind. So if Murphy didn’t want to dredge up a part of his past he didn’t wish to relive they wouldn’t push him. And they never did. Clarke smiled softly, laying a hand on his shoulder 

“No need for thanks Murph, you know I got you. Now get going” Clarke said gently pushing on his shoulder causing him to take a few steps back “Go back and release Bell of his misery and I’ll see you both for breakfast” She finished taking a few steps back herself before turning around and walking in the direction of the Commanders house.

The blonde wasn’t sure how she felt about Lexa just yet. The woman seemed like a strong, stoic warrior. Untouched by the tragedy that surrounds her everyday. Yet, Clarke could see right through her the second she laid eyes on her. Even before she knew she was the Commander. The girl she met a few hours before had the same look in her eyes: sadness and longing. Clarke could see the girl hidden behind those forest green eyes. The girl she so desperately wanted to be but was snuffed out by the death the world has become. They were so much alike and so different at the same time that it scared Clarke when she was in the same room with the girl. Not because she was frightened of the brunette. Actually she was the one person in here besides Niylah and Lincoln that she didn’t feel threatened by. 

No. 

It was more than that, the way the brunette makes her feel is something that she honestly has never felt before. She can’t help but trust her, even knowing she was trying to hide behind the mask of the Commander. Because Clarke could see right through her, could feel the pain behind her words and see the remorse hidden deep within those green eyes. Realizing she’s getting to know not just the Commander of the twelve clans but Lexa herself: _That_ scared her more than anything.

Clarke took a deep breath to try and steady herself. She couldn’t let emotions stand in her way. She knew her only goals today were to check on Finn and make sure her and the guys were ready for travel in the morning. So with that thought she straightened her shoulders and walked the few steps up the the Commanders front door. The two guards that usually remained there were replaced with two different guards, one being Lincoln himself. Clarke let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding when her eyes fell on his familiar face. Lincoln gave her a small smile and nod as a greeting. 

“Clarke, I’m assuming you’re here to see the Commander, was she expecting you?” Lincoln asked, relaxing slightly at the presence of the familiar blonde. A light flush of red filled Clarke’s cheeks in her embarrassment.

“I uh- Actually no.” Clarke relented, shoulders sagging slightly “But if there is anything you could do that would be great Lincoln.” Clarke said, feeling a little under pressure under the watchful eye of the other guard stationed with him. After about a minute of silence as Clarke sat watching Lincoln deliberate over his options Clarke couldn’t help but speak up again. “Please Lincoln, I only wish to check on Finn. Just ask her if it’s okay if I can talk to her for a minute, if she says no I’ll come back another time.” That seemed to do the trick as he smiled softly and nodded, turning back to address the other guard.

“I’ll talk to Heda, remain at your post” Lincoln said, not waiting for a response and opening the door behind him and disappearing inside. 

After several awkward minutes of silence and unintentional whistles from Clarke out of boredom Lincoln reappeared gesturing for Clarke to enter.

Walking back through the familiar halls of the house Clarke was led to a room she’s only been to once. She could feel her cheeks burning from the realization and hoped that Lincoln didn’t notice. The warrior, to Clarke’s relief, seemed only focused on what was in front of him. Clarke couldn’t help but admire the mans professionalism.

When they reached the door Lincoln put out his arm to stop Clarke from moving forward before knocking on the door twice. They could both hear a muffled ‘enter’ and Lincoln cracked the door open just enough to peak his head through. A small stream of light escaped into the dark hallway lighting half of Clarke’s face. 

“Heda” he said, waiting for a response. Clarke strained her ears to hear anything but came up empty. Lincoln must have gotten the answer he was looking for though because the door was opened wider, he stood against it to allow Clarke to walk past. 

When Clarke entered the room her eyes landed on the bed against the far wall, hidden in a back room barely visible. Blue eyes then slowly scanned over the entire room, noting the couch and chair in one corner, the vanity against the wall. She could see the many candles that littered the entire surface of the floor, all unlit do to the morning light streaming in through the very many, very big bay windows that surrounded the entire room. She hadn’t had a proper look at the room the first time, but now looking around, all Clarke wanted to do was draw. This room was beautiful, and completely untouched. No it wasn’t exactly what it used to be before the infection, she could tell. It probably being Lexa’s fathers room before her. But she could see the purity in the room, and the view out those windows was something to marvel at. 

Her eyes flickered to the woman standing in the middle of the room. Blues widening slightly when she was greeted with a newly bathed Lexa. Every thought escaped her as she took in the godly woman in front of her. Her hair was still wet causing the white shirt she was wearing to grow slightly damp. Her tight black pants folded perfectly around her long legs seeming to go on for days. Her freshly cleaned skin seemed to glow in the faint light streaming throughout the small room.

Clarke had to take a deep breath to steady herself. This was the first time she saw the Commander without her armor and hair braided. And if she were being honest with herself she damn well liked what she saw.

She never knew what to expect when coming up here anymore, yet the brunette seemed to always know how to render her breathless. After a moment of awkward gawking on her part Clarke turned back to Lincoln trying to put on her best smile.

“Thanks Lincoln, it was good seeing you again” Clarke seemed to muster out, even under the brunette’s spell. The warriors eyes roamed from Clarke to the Commander and back again. A small smile graced his lips as he nodded to the blonde.

“Yes Clarke, you as well.” Lincoln responded, his lips seeming to pull higher the more he looked between the two woman. 

“_Lincoln_” Both figures turned to the low warning that came from the Commander. The brunette now had her hands behind her back and her shoulders squared. One eyebrow was quirked up in question as she stared at Lincoln.

“My apologies Heda” He said with a small bow before gripping the door and beginning to leave. Clarke couldn’t be sure but she swore she saw him wink at her before the door completely shut behind him.

Clarke turned back around, blue eyes meeting green and she lost all thoughts as to why she came up here in the first place. She opened her mouth to say something, really anything at this point but remained silent. Nothing seemed to come to mind, and the more silence that grew between them the more panicked Clarke became. As if sensing the blonde’s tension, Lexa moved towards two double doors on the other side of the room.

“Would you like some fresh air Clarke?” Lexa asked, waiting for the nod in response before opening the doors and filling the room with more light. Clarke watched as Lexa walked out, leaning against the small railing and peering out into the distance. The blonde followed shortly after, taking a deep breath of fresh air letting it fill her lungs, She closed her eyes as the sun moved out from behind a small cloud, she sighed, relishing in the feeling of the warmth on her skin. 

Her fingers started twitching when she could feel a pair of eyes on her. She slowly opened one eye to see the brunette watching her, a small smile painted on her soft lips.

“Anyone ever teach you it’s rude to stare?” Clarke asked, amusement clear in her voice.

“Has anyone ever taught you to cherish and admire the beauty around you?” Lexa retorted, her voice confident but soft. Clarke opened both eyes than, turning to stare at the other girl. She could feel her cheeks begin to heat up and prayed she could pass it off as the heat from the sun. Clearing her voice and turning to look away from the green eyes that threatened to drag her in, Clarke willed her voice to come out stronger than she felt.

“I actually came here to talk about Finn. If there was anything you could do to allow us to see him.” Clarke said, taking a deep breath when she finally got it out. 

“I have placed my best General in charge of his safety and well being. You do not have to worry about him Clarke, he is being taken care of” Lexa responded, voice coming out harder than before.

“I-I know and I trust you, I do. I just really would like to see him Lexa, please? I only saw him for a few minutes before he was taken away and locked up. I owe him some kind of explanation as to why he’s there”

“He knows why he’s there.” Lexa blurted out, her words coming out harsher than intended. “He murdered an innocent man Clarke. One of _my_ men. I think he knows exactly why he’s there” Lexa turned away then not wanting to see the look on the blonde’s face. She couldn’t help how strong her words came out, she always felt a need to protect her people, even before she was the Commander. No matter how she felt about how they dealt with the punished she couldn’t help the constant need to do what was right for her people.

“You’re right” the response was soft, barely above a whisper but Lexa heard it. Turning around to meet ocean blue eyes, the sadness clear within those cerulean waves. “I know he understands why he’s there, but he doesn’t know what’s going to happen to him. He doesn’t know if he’s going to see any of us ever again. I need to reassure him that he’ll be okay…. ev- even if he’s not. You don’t know Finn Lexa. You only know the scared boy that pulled the trigger and killed one of your own. If he stays in there alone, with just his own thoughts to keep him company he’ll lose himself” Clarke walked towards her then, placing a pale hand atop her own that still lay on the railing. “Please Lexa, I know you don’t owe him anything and it’s really ballsy for me to be here even asking this of you but I am here and I am asking.” Lexa looked down at their hands, expecting Clarke to remove hers but it remained. She looked up then, forest green meeting ocean blue.

“Okay” It was a whisper and Clarke wasn’t sure if she heard her right.

“Okay?” Clarke asked for clarification. Lexa nodded.

“Yes, okay. But I have only one stipulation.” Lexa said, standing straight, the Commanders mask firmly in place.

“Anything”

“You will go alone, a guard of my choosing will accompany you at all times while with him. But your friends do not get to see him as well. I am sorry Clarke, but I am being lenient enough allowing you.” Clarke quickly nodded, a large smile pulling on her lips.

“Yes that’s fine! They won’t be happy but they’ll get over it, thank you so much Lexa” Clarke said enthusiastically, and before she could stop herself her arms were around the brunette’s neck, pulling her into a tight hug. It took only a few seconds before strong arms were circling around her waist pulling her closer. They remained like that for a few more seconds before Clarke gently pulled away. Their noses lightly grazing as they split. Lexa’s eyes went from blue eyes to soft pink lips, Clarke had to look away before they did anything they’d regret later. 

“You are welcome Clarke, I will have the guard escort you to Finn later today” Lexa said with a half smile curving on her lips. Clarke’s knees went a little weak as she nodded clearing her throat.

“I-uh sorry about all that” Clarke gestured between them referring to the hug “I got a little carried away, but I see that I interrupted you while you were getting ready for the day so I’ll leave you to it” She said turning away and walking back into the room and off the porch. As she made it to the door and her hand reached for the knob she was stopped by a soft voice.

“Feel free to interrupt me whenever you desire” Clarke didn’t respond, not sure if Lexa truly meant for her to hear it. She just smiled to herself and walked out the door. Not realizing how much easier it was to breathe when she wasn’t being pulled in by the beautiful brunette with soft green eyes.

* * *

After leaving the Commanders house Clarke decided to head over to the rec room to meet up with Bellamy and Murphy. She knew when they were ready Lexa would have someone come get Clarke so she can see Finn. Until then she just had to keep herself busy. 

Walking inside she quickly grabbed a tray and filled her plate with some eggs and fruit before searching around for her friends. Spotting the beanie Murphy never takes off his head, she makes her way towards the table.

“Hey Murph, where’s Bell?” Clarke asked, setting her tray on the table across from him and sitting down.

“He just walked in a little after you actually, I think I saw him going to grab some food” Murphy said, shoveling some more eggs into his mouth. Clarke nodded, taking the time to take a few bites herself. She reveled in the taste, not getting over the feeling of freshly cooked and seasoned food. 

A few minutes later Bellamy walked up placing his tray next to Clarke’s and sitting down. Clarke was in the middle of taking a drink of water as he sat, she made the mistake of looking down at his plate spewing the water all over Murphy across from her.

“Holy shit Bell! How’d you get all that?! Other people have to eat too you know!” She said exasperated, staring down at the momentous amount of eggs on his plate, the four pieces of toast, the bowl of fruit and the three sausages on the other side of his plate. Murphy scoffed as he wiped the water from his face.

“Fuck Clarke, say it don’t spray it” He grumbled, finally looking at Bellamy’s plate. Murphy’s eyes went wide when he caught sight of the meat. “Dammit there was sausage?! How the hell did I miss that” Murphy said forgetting about being spit on and quickly grabbing a piece of sausage and shoveling into his mouth before Bellamy could stop him.

“Fuck off Murph! That’s the only one you’re allowed” Bellamy said wrapping an arm around his tray before turning back to Clarke. “And as for your question Princess, lets just say I have connections” He winks and pops a sausage into his mouth. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“You’ve been here less than twenty four hours Bell, how could you possibly have connections?” Clarke asked exasperated. Bellamy just smiled and winked at her again, turning back towards his food. She watched him look up for a second and smile before shoving eggs into his mouth. Clarke smirked and went back to her food, letting it go for now but making a mental note to question Bellamy later.

“Okay, so I talked to the Commander and she’s letting me see Finn today before we head out in the morning.” Clarke said looking at both of her friends for a reaction. Silence took up the table for a minute before Murphy broke it.

“So when can we see him?” Murphy asked, looking up at Clarke. She sighed biting her bottom lip. This was the part she wasn’t looking forward to.

“Well like I said, I’m hoping to see him at some point today” 

“But?” Bellamy asked, his brows furrowing knowing there was something else Clarke wasn’t telling them. Clarke looked down at the table not able to look them in the eye.

“But… I’m the only one permitted to see him” Clarke said hesitantly, she looked up then, met with two furious sets of eyes on her.

“What the fuck are you talking about you’re the _only_ one permitted to see him?” Bellamy asked, trying to keep his anger in check. Clarke put her head in her hands groaning in her frustration.

“I mean I’m the only one the Commander is allowing to see Finn. She’s risking a lot just to let me see him”

“What do you mean she’s risking a lot?” It was Murphy this time, both fists balled up on the table in his anger “She’s the fucking leader of this whole fucking place, all she has to do is say yes and were in” Clarke shakes her head, knowing this was going to be hard for her friends to understand.

“No, it doesn’t work that way. She isn’t a dictator over the clans. There are a set of rules they follow for crimes, especially ones as big as Finn’s” She said with a sigh, slumping back into her chair. “This is the only way guys, at least I’ll be able to get in there and let him know what’s going on”

“It was an accident” Bellamy said, barely above a whisper. He stared at the table, his eyes filled with sorrow “You know Finn wouldn’t…” He couldn’t finish is sentence, picking up his head to look at Clarke, hoping she understood. Clarke nodded sadly, taking his hand in hers.

“I know it was an accident. I know he didn’t mean to do it, they don’t know Finn like we do. And I used that as an argument with the Commander. She has sympathy for him Bell, don’t think she just wishes for his death. She’s trying to help him too, but there’s only so much she can do, even in her position.” Clarke said, squeezing his hand in reassurance. Bellamy nodded, seeming to accept her answer for now.

“It’s all still fucking bullshit” Murphy grumbled from across the table “You both know he doesn’t deserve to be locked up like some murderer”

“I know Murph, but the fact is he _did_ take an innocent life and that’s something that not even we can ignore.” Clarke said standing up and grabbing her empty tray. “I’m gonna go get ready for the trip tomorrow before I see Finn, you two should do the same” She said giving them one last smile before walking away and depositing her garbage and making her way out of the rec room.

* * *

After Clarke left, Lexa let out a deep breath, turning back to prepare getting ready for the day. She had a feeling Clarke would ask to see Finn soon, which is why she had already had a talk with Anya this morning first thing, about escorting the blonde to her friend.  
When she finished her last braid, she attached her weapons to her belt and walked out of the room, greeting her guard with a faint smile. As she walked out the front door she greeted Lincoln, relieving him and the other guard from their duty. She made her way to the training grounds where she knew Anya would be. Anytime her friend wasn’t on duty she knew she’d be working with the rest of her team on their training.

Standing just outside of the grounds, she can see Anya in the middle of a sparring session with her youngest recruit, Tris. Lexa smiled slightly and watched the two at work, not finding the will to break them up just yet.

“Very good Tris! Keep your eyes on your opponents feet. On their movements. Make an attempt to understand what they plan to do before they do!” Anya instructed as her sword came up to block one of Tris’ blows. Taking a few steps back, Anya twirled the sword expertly in her hand, waiting for her opponent to strike first. One thing Lexa learned while training with Anya was that the older woman was a very patient person. She would never make the first move first, waiting for her opponent to get restless and make a mistake she can easily take advantage of. Lexa watched as her older friend did just that. Waiting patiently for Tris to make the first move, as they circled each other like lions in the wild. It didn’t take long for Tris to get disgruntled and strike first, bringing her sword around to try and swipe Anya on her weaker side. But Anya was expecting that, twirling around just in time for the blade to miss her. She countered Tris’ attack, bringing her own sword back around on top of her opponents, effectively knocking it from her grasp. Swinging her sword back around, the tip now at the center of the younger girls throat. She looked down at the glint of the blade and then looked up to meet Anya’s eyes with a grunt.

“I’m never gonna take you down am I?” Tris grumbled, wiping the sweat that began to bead at her brow. Anya chuckled, retracting her blade and bringing her hand out to help the younger girl to her feet.

“Don’t discredit yourself so soon _seken,_ you did well. It will take as long as it takes” Anya responded, laughing at the grunt she received in response by the other girl. She threw an arm around Tris’ shoulder bringing her in for a side hug. “You’re doing very well, don’t be discouraged” Just as Anya said the words they both turned their heads to clapping in the distance. The Commander strode closer to them, a soft smile on her face.

“Well done Tris! You seemed to do better than myself the first time I trained with Anya” Lexa said, her hands behind her back now, back straight, shoulders high. Tris looked down, unable to meet the Commanders eyes, clearly not realizing she was being watched.

“Thank you, Heda…” Tris whispered, scuffing her boots in the dirt uncomfortably. The Commander always gave a welcoming presence, never seemed too intimidating when she wasn’t trying to be. But the young warrior couldn’t seem to look into the eyes of her Heda after her obvious defeat. No matter how kind and encouraging her words were. Anya seemed to notice the young girls discomfort.

“You are dismissed Tris. You and Lincoln are both assigned to perimeter duty soon. Go and meet up with him and we will talk about your progress later” Tris gave a swift nod to her General before turning back towards her Heda and bowing respectively. She turned quickly going to search for Lincoln.

When the silhouette of the girl finally disappeared Anya turned her attention to the Commander, already knowing what the young leader had come here for.

“Has Blondie finally come to demand an audience with the little mouse?” Anya asked amused, using the name her warriors had began to use for the scared little boy. 

Anya had come to have very mixed feelings about the young outsider. She believed Clarke when she says it was an accident. The boy was a flimsy excuse for a man and by the look in his eyes when he was chained and taken away, only a fool wouldn’t notice the regret and shame plain and clear within. But as much as she could see the truth in the blonde’s words, she couldn’t help the knowledge that he took an innocent life that wasn’t necessary. One of her men.

Clarke had yet to know this but Anya was there the night they brought her friends in. She was on scout with Heda and a group of her most trusted men when they got word of a group of _splitas_ (outsiders), that weren’t the Maunon. Anya had been the one to convince Lexa to investigate that night. She had been the one to convince the Commander it was better to be quick than to wait until morning when the others could have a better advantage.   
When they got there and only noticed two of them at first she was slightly taken aback. They were both young boys, grime covering their faces, their entire being almost worn down and broken. Yet, they were both defensive, weapons raised at her people like they were the enemy. The last thing they expected was the onslaught of Z’s that came barging through a barricaded door in the back. Anya couldn’t think of anything but survival, but her instincts wouldn’t let these boys sit here and die either. Lexa must have been thinking the same thing because before a second had passed the brunettes fingers were around the scruffy haired boys arm, pulling him forcefully out the front door. So as quickly as she could Anya grabbed the collar of the tall dark haired boys jacket and yanked, pulling him back following the Commander out. Just as they made their escape she heard a distant scream followed by a shot. Turning around she found one of her men laying on the ground at her feet, a boy in the distance holding a gun, looking between her and the dying man. Registering what had happened his hands began to shake and he dropped the gun in seconds, hands in the air. His eyes wide with fear and uncertainty.

Anya’s eyes drifted towards the body on the floor and then back to the boy.

“_Tai op dis ripa!_” The Commanders voice rang out, ordering the others to secure the two other boys as well. Anya could barely register her orders, her eyes not leaving the young boys as he was bound and taken back towards their vehicles with the others. Only one thought kept ringing through her mind:

The bullet was meant for her. 

“Anya?” The Commanders voice broke her out of her memory. She shook her head, turning her attention back to the brunette in front of her.

“Sorry I was lost in thought, what did you say Heda?” Anya asked, trying to rid herself of the memory.

“I was saying that you’re right and she has requested to see him before we leave. I need you to do as I asked yesterday and escort her to his cell.” Lexa repeated, looking at her friend and previous _fos_ with barely hidden concern. Anya just nodded in response, so Lexa spoke up. “Are you doing alright Anya? I know we haven’t really talked since that night-”

“I’m fine” Anya cut the brunette off quickly, clearing her throat to hide her embarrassment. “Really I’m okay Heda, thank you for your concern.” Anya smiled, doing her best to reassure not only her friend, but herself as well. Lexa looked to not believe her fully but accepted her answer for now with a curt nod.

“I will leave you to find her then, mochof Anya” Lexa said before quickly making her way out of the training grounds.

* * *

Clarke didn’t have much to pack. She never had a reason for belongings, she hadn’t had any use for personal items, not since before her dad passed. She gripped her wrist instinctively, rubbing her fingers gently over the cracked face of the watch she wore. Running her fingers over the leather band around her wrist she closed her eyes, centering herself. She could feel the soft clench of her stomach as her breath hitched in her throat.

_No._

She snapped herself out of her own destructive thoughts. Willing herself not to shed a tear, knowing full well if she even pulled one brick out the entire wall would crumble. 

And she would crumble right down with it. 

So instead she took a deep breath, made sure the watch was firmly in place and went back to packing the few shirts that Anya had given her on the first few days here. She had just packed away her hair brush when she heard a light knock on the door. She wasn’t surprised by this, she had assumed whomever Lexa had sent would be arriving about now. Opening the door she was surprised to find Anya on the other side of it. She was greeted with a smirk from the other girl.

“You would be in the first place I go look” Anya said with a chuckle “You are so predictable Blondie, it’s too good” The older woman shook her head in disbelief, the smile only growing on her face. Clarke just rolled her eyes and smiled back.

“Nice to see you too, Anya. To be honest I’m kind of glad it’s you” Clarke said to her relief “I was worried she might have sent someone I wasn’t familiar with… You guys aren’t the most…” Clarke trailed off, trying to find the right word to finish her sentence. One look at the death glare the other blonde was sending her way she quickly concluded “Welcoming” she finished. Anya stared her down for a second, an eyebrow raised in question. Clarke just fidgeted where she stood, unable to stand still. Despite the fact that they escaped hell together and saved the others life countless times, Anya’s glare can still send a chill down Clarke’s spine. After an excruciating amount of time Anya finally broke her stoic expression, plastering a thick smile in it’s place instead.

“Man you’re so fun to fuck with _branwada_” Anya said, swinging an arm over the younger blonde’s shoulder. “Come on, lets go see your mouse boy. You can finish up whatever you’re doing later” She said pulling Clarke out the door, barely giving her enough time to shut the door behind them.

“You know, just because I don’t know you’re language yet doesn’t mean I don’t understand what you’re saying” Clarke said, trying to keep up with the other woman's fast steps. Anya laughed, continuing her fast pace despite the other blondes struggle. “Thanks for this by the way Anya” Clarke was able to stammer out despite the brisk pace. Anya stopped immediately in her tracks, almost causing Clarke to trip on her own feet. The older woman took two deep breaths before turning towards Clarke, eyes darker, more threatening than before.

“I do this only because the Commander has ordered me to. She seems to think you having a familiar face in the room would be easier for you... For some reason she has taken an interest in you.” Anya states, closing her eyes and taking another deep breath before opening them again and slowly inching her way towards Clarke. “I don’t need to explain myself to you, but… you need to know, because we are allies and we have come to trust one another, that I do not trust that boy in that room” Anya seethed, pointing in the direction of the cells. “And if it were up to me he would have already been dead.” Clarke took a step back. She had seen Anya in defensive mode, seen her kill a walker in front of her, even seen her at her worst about to pass out. But the look on Anya’s face and the fire within her eyes was something she hadn’t ever experienced before.

“Anya wha-” Before Clarke could get out her question Anya was shaking her head and walking back in the direction of the cells.

“It’s nothing Clarke, lets just get this over with.” Anya grumbled as she walked. Clarke was confused but she didn’t ask any questions. She knew if Anya wanted to tell her she would. She just had to hope in time she can get the older woman to see her as a friend. 

When they walked up the steps to the cells there were two different guards stationed there than when Clarke was here earlier. They both looked at Anya who said something in trig. They both looked behind Anya, giving Clarke a curious once over before nodding their heads. Anya opened the door, motioning for Clarke to enter first.

When the door shut behind them it took a few seconds for Clarke to adjust to the darkness in the room. Anya moved forward to a door being guarded by one person. He moved to the side allowing Anya passage. Before going inside Anya turned around to address Clarke.

“I’m going to go down with you, the cells are kept in the basement” Anya motioned with her head to the now open door behind her. “You will be allowed to speak with him but there is no touching and he is not under any circumstances allowed to leave his cell. Is that understood?” Anya asked, waiting for a nod from Clarke in confirmation. Once she received what she was waiting for her face seemed to soften. “I will give you two as much privacy as I can” Anya added, turning back around and beginning to descend down the stairs, Clarke not far behind her.

When Clarke’s eyes adjusted to the new lightening she took in her surroundings. The two very small windows were covered up with ply wood. The only thing occupying the space in the room was two handmade cells. Taking a closer look Clarke could see they were made out of raw materials, but welded together and kept in firm place.

“C-Clarke?” The voice was faint, but Clarke knew it anywhere. Turning her attention to the cell against the wall to her right she noticed a faint silhouette of someone hunched in the corner.

“Finn?” Clarke called back, barely able to contain her relief to hear his voice. As much as she wanted to trust Lexa, there was still a slither of doubt in the back of Clarke’s mind that they might have already killed him. Clarke shook those thoughts away as she inched closer to his cell. “Finn, are you okay?” Clarke asked, putting both hands on the bars and leaning in, trying to get a better look at her friend.

“As okay as can be expected I suppose” Came a reply from the corner of the dark cell. Clarke sighed, instead of trying to coax him out of the corner Clarke turned her back and slid down the bars, sitting down. She leaned her head on the bars, wrapping her arms around her legs. Looking up at the ceiling she let out a deep breath, letting the last couple of days really sink in.

“Were going to find the others Finn. Were going to bring them back here and then were gonna work something out with the Commander to get you out of this.” Clarke said determined. She needed Finn to know that despite her lack of a visit prior to this, she was serious about helping him, and so were the others.

“I don’t deserve to get out of this” Finn croaked out, his voice filled with despair and regret. Clarke’s heart dropped. This was what she was afraid would happen if Finn was stuck alone with his own thoughts for long. Clarke turned around quickly, gripping the bars and staring at the space she knows the boy is occupying.

“Listen to me right now Finn. It was an accident! You had no idea who they were, I had just been taken by the Mountain men and then these strangers show up out of no where. The second you shot you knew your mistake, you put down your gun and you surrendered… It was a mistake Finn.” Clarke reasoned. Trying to get him to believe her words even just a little bit. She didn’t want to admit it, but she didn’t trust to keep him here when they left. She wasn’t sure what he would do.

“A mistake.” He scoffed, a small chuckle escaped his lips “A mistake would be stealing the covers at night, or forgetting an anniversary… or even kissing someone” Finn said, his face now turned in Clarke’s direction, enough for her to see the outline of his chin and the sorrow within his eyes. She swallowed trying to create moisture in her now dry mouth. “A mistake can be many things Clarke, but taking a life is not something that can be written off as one of them.” He finished, his eyes scanning her face once more before turning back towards the wall.

“No. Don’t start this bullshit right now Finn.” Clarke said, standing up and gripping the bars until her knuckles turned white. “You need to listen to me, I know you’ve struggled with this world from the beginning. The killing and the constant death surrounding us everyday is a lot, I know that Finn. I also know the reason it hits you so hard is because you’re a good person. You’re such a kind, gentle soul Finn and you need to start realizing that.” Clarke paused, waiting until he turned his head to look at her “Because I swear on everything Finn, if I come back with the rest of the group and find out you did anything stupid, I’ll kill you my damn self!” She screamed, thrashing the bars in her anger. She could hear a light laugh and some shuffling before she saw Finn emerge from the darkness of his cell. Clarke smiled reaching out to grab his hand. The second she wrapped her fingers around his palm Anya clanked her dagger against the other cell bars.

“_Em Pleni_! No touching, you know the rules Blondie” Anya grumbled glaring at Clarke until she let go. Clarke rolled her eyes at Anya, giving Finn a small smile of apology. 

“Sorry about that Finn” Clarke said awkwardly, not wanting Anya’s outburst to make him draw back into himself again. Finn just shook it off, shrugging his shoulders. Clarke could finally take a proper look at him now. He looked a lot better than he did a couple nights ago. He seemed to be getting well fed at least. The dark circles under his eyes told Clarke his sleep was a different story.

“How are the guys?” Finn asked softly, obviously wanting to change the subject, which Clarke was all too eager for.

“They’re much better, just worried about you. You should have seen Murphy this morning, standing outside the doors until someone would let him in” Clarke laughed at the image.

“I didn’t see Murphy…?” Finn asked almost defeated. Clarke frowned.

“He wasn’t allowed Finn. I was allowed to see you today so I can update you on what’s going on and what’s going to happen. And when we come back with the others we will get you out of here Finn.” Clarke said with certainty. Even if she didn’t firmly believe her words she was going to make damn sure that Finn did.

“Okay, thanks Clarke” Finn said, his lips curving into a small smile that she happily returned. She looked from the corner of her eye towards Anya making sure she was looking away before reaching in her pocket and taking out a snickers bar from her pocket and passing it through the bars quickly. 

“Here, I snuck this out of the kitchen last night when I was cleaning up. I thought you would like it” She said with a smile as he grabbed the chocolate bar out of her hands. A genuine smile spread across his lips as he looked back up at Clarke.

“These are my favorite! I haven’t seen one since before the infection” Finn said excitingly. Clarke nodded, unable to hold in her own smile at Finns excitement.

“Shhhh, yeah I know that’s why I snagged it you idiot! Now keep your voice down!” Clarke hissed out through clenched teeth. Anya looked over then, one eyebrow tilted up in question. Clarke just shrugged at her, fainting innocence. She watched as Finn hid it in the inside pocket of his jacket.

“Thanks Princess” Finn said, quickly reaching out and gripping Clarke’s hand that still gripped the bars, squeezing softly. “I didn’t realize how much seeing a familiar face would help me. Don’t worry about me when you leave either” Finn said, chuckling at Clarke’s questioning brow. “What I mean by that is I’m going to try not to sink into myself too much while I’m here. And I’ll be right here, when you get back” Finn said with a soft reassuring smile. Clarke closed her eyes squeezing his hand back before pulling away, not wanting Anya to bust them again.

“Take care of yourself Finn. We’ll be back, I promise” Clarke said, nodding one more time to him before getting Anya’s attention and walking out. Leaving a less sad Finn behind, with a full snickers bar all to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A snickers can make anyone happy! :) If you liked please Comment and leave kudos! You guys inspire me to keep going!


	9. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa, Clarke and the others finally set out to go find the rest of Clarke's group. But they run into something that puts a big hitch in their plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning!: Towards the end of the chapter there is a scene where an anxiety attack occurs. I know some people are sensitive to that and I hope this doesn't deter you from the story. I'm just one of those writers that takes from my experience and life and adds it to my stories. And I've suffered from anxiety for most of my life and this chapter was heavy for me to write but it was something I'm glad I did. So I hope you enjoy it for what it is anyway :)

Clarke woke up in the morning ready to finally see the rest of her friends again. As much as she enjoyed the small amount of freedom she had from her responsibilities, she knew she couldn’t run away from them forever, and she was ready to get back in to the thick of things again.

When she made it to the front gates it was well before sunrise. Lexa had already explained to her they will leave immediately when the sun comes up and she refused to wait a moment longer. So Clarke made sure to be up and ready well before then, dragging a half asleep Bellamy and a grumpy Murphy along with her. It was no surprise to her that Lexa and her small group were already there, packing up the two vehicles they would be taking with them. Deciding on a jeep and a van big enough to hold supplies they planned on bringing back to the others.

Lexa was in the middle of a discussion with Indra when Clarke and the others walked up. The second Indra made eye contact with Clarke, she made a gesture towards her to Lexa, drawing green eyes to blue. 

Clarke couldn’t control the breath that escaped her when they made contact. She stopped in her tracks only a few feet from the slender brunette, not bothering to move any closer but also not daring to break away from her stare. Clarke placed her bag in the pile of supplies the men were loading into the van, signaling for the guys to do it as well. It didn’t take long for Lexa to make her way to Clarke. After quickly finishing her discussion with Indra she made her way over to the small group.

“I have instructed Indra to take care of Finn while we are gone. I have doubled his guard and only Indra is allowed to bring him food and water.” Lexa reassured them, folding her hands behind her back, her face stoic and void of emotion. Clarke smiled softly and nodded in acknowledgement.

“Thank you, Commander” Clarke said, not realizing how low and sultry her voice sounded. Of course Lexa wouldn’t miss the way she said her title. A small smirk playing on her lips as she cleared her throat before speaking.

“There is a storm that is approaching so we will have to make good time. The location where your friends have made camp is on the edge of our borders so it will be a bit of a trip, if we are to try and beat the storm that is approaching we will have to leave shortly” She looked between the three of them, her eyes lingering on Clarke a few seconds longer than the others. Suddenly Clarke’s throat went dry under her gaze. The green of her eyes pulling her in deeper than before. She opened her mouth to respond but when nothing came out she gave a simple nod in response. That seemed enough to satisfy Lexa who gave a swift nod before turning back around and addressing her people.

Clarke watched as Lexa walked away, not seeming able to avert her gaze anywhere else. Bellamy must have noticed the change because she felt his shoulder bump gently into hers rousing her from her thoughts. She turned to address Bellamy when she noticed the coy smirk splayed on his face. She rolled her eyes, not looking forward to this conversation.

“What?” Clarke snapped, not meaning for it to come out as sharp as it had. Bellamy didn’t seem fazed by it though, actually taking humor in Clarke’s reaction. Smiling he balanced on the balls of his feet, trying to keep the smirk off his face.

“Oh nothing really. I just haven’t seen this side of you yet Clarke” He returned, letting his smile take over his face. Clarke just grunted, balling her hands into fists. She couldn’t deny that he was right. This was a side that even she didn’t know existed. A side of herself that could become emotionally vulnerable to another. She also couldn’t help but admit that she didn’t particularly like feeling this way, especially because she had no idea why she felt like this in the first place. So she definitely didn’t need Bellamy pointing it out and mocking her for it.

“You’re an idiot Bell, I don’t know what you’re talking about” Clarke said, trying to play it off as nothing even though they both knew it was something. Bellamy just shook his head, choosing not to continue the conversation anymore, lest he upset Clarke further. 

Unfortunately Murphy didn’t notice her discomfort, or he just didn’t care in his half asleep state. Scoffing as he pushed passed them both heading in the direction of the vehicles. Looking over his shoulder as he addressed his friends.

“He’s talking about you’re puppy eyes every time the Commander is in your line of sight.” Murphy grumbled, not bothering to stop and wait for his friends. “Just fuck her and get it over with Clarke, this isn’t a fucking romance novel.” Clarke’s mouth was open in complete surprise, not expecting that from Murphy. Bellamy let out a loud cackle at Clarke’s reaction as he followed Murphy.

“Damn Murph, I always forget how truthful of a person you are in the morning” Bellamy said catching up to him and swinging an arm over his shoulder “let me tell you though, it’s mighty fucking refreshing” Murphy just grumbled in response, shirking his arm from his shoulder.

“You both better pray were in separate cars!” Clarke screamed after them, stomping her way passed them and towards the gathering group of people preparing to leave. As much as she hated the teasing, she knew they were telling the truth. Maybe that’s what bothered her the most. If she couldn’t hide whatever she was feeling from her friends, then she was screwed in trying to think she could deny it from herself any longer. 

Lexa was slowly creeping her way behind the barriers she’s had up for years and what scared her the most was that she wasn’t sure she truly minded it.

* * *

They were all split between two cars. Lexa, Clarke and two guards in one and Bellamy, Murphy, another guard and an assigned healer in the other. Clarke was finally introduced the the giant brawny man that always guards Lexa’s quarters. His name was Gustus, one of Lexa’s most trusted guard. The other guard was Lincoln, which secretly Clarke was thankful for. The silent grunts occasionally coming from Gustus would have made the ride a lot longer without a friendly face. Anya and Nyko were the two others assigned to the van with the guys. Clarke found it hard to keep the amusement from her face at the thought of Bellamy and Murphy being in such close proximity to Anya.

Lexa sat in the back of the jeep with Clarke. Her arm outside the open window, hand resting on the roof of the car. Her posture was straight, her jaw slightly clenched. Clarke couldn’t help but notice the change in her demeanor the longer they were on the road. The greens in her eyes catching onto the growing storm clouds in the sky, now completely covering the sun, casting a dark shroud over them.

Lincoln was keeping up light conversation with Clarke for the most part. But when the conversation ended Clarke couldn’t help but focus on the growing anxiety radiating off of the brunette next to her.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Clarke asked, low enough for only Lexa to hear. Green eyes turned towards her. Lexa didn’t say anything for a while and Clarke didn’t push. She knew when and if the brunette wanted to speak she would choose to do so. So Clarke wasn’t surprised when only a few minutes passed by before she answered.

“The storm” her voice was so soft Clarke almost missed what she said. When her gaze flickered back to the clouds in the sky, Clarke turned to look out her window as well, only now just noticing how dark the sky had become. “The wind is getting stronger as the minutes go by as well, I fear this is not a normal storm” Lexa continued, now making eye contact with Lincoln in the side mirror before rolling it back up as the rain began to come down. 

Clarke hasn’t been around Lexa long, but she could tell what that look meant. Just because she’s seen that look in the mirror more times than she’d like to admit. 

Controlled panic.

“What exactly are you thinking?” Clarke asked trying to control her own growing anxiety. She could feel the jeep start swaying against the wind, trying to remain steady. She knew logically the vehicle would take a lot more force to actually cause it to flip over, but that didn’t stop her heart from threatening to jump out of her chest. Lexa seemed to look the opposite of how Clarke felt. She remained composed and alert, her eyes flickering from the road to the sky every so often. Like she was contemplating their next move.

“We need to find shelter until the storm passes over, we wont make it to your friends tonight” Lexa answered, her voice remaining placid. Clarke took a deep breath and nodded in understanding. As much as she hated the thought of leaving Raven, Octavia and the others to defend themselves through this storm, she also knew they had no choice. If they’ve been able to survive on their own this long, hopefully they’ll be prepared enough to weather the storm.

“Okay, so what’s the plan?” She voiced to everyone in the car. She didn’t know her way around like they did. She had no idea where she was going, but she was reassured by Lexa’s confidence and she trusted her. She has always had trouble putting faith and trust in people. Yet, Lexa, a leader whom she had only met a few weeks ago was able to break down so many barriers Clarke hadn’t been aware she put up.

“There is a trading post a few miles from here” Lincoln spoke up answering her question before Lexa could. Maybe sensing the tension now radiating from the blonde.

Clarke never liked storms. When she was younger she’d always spend stormy nights within her parents bed, snuggled between her two favorite people. Unfortunately, as she grew older she could no longer rely on her parents to chase the storms away. But she still found it impossible to give into her subconscious as thunder rumbled through the air and the lightening split up the sky. Using those nights to paint, searching for inspiration through her fear. 

Now she sits rigid, clenching the leather seat desperately. Eyes closed, body tense. She didn’t realize she began to shake until she felt a soft touch on her shoulder. Finally she opened her eyes to find concerned green watching her carefully. An unspoken question within her soft gaze. But instead of asking what she clearly wanted to, her next words were for reassurance. 

An act of comfort.

“All outposts and trading posts are equipped with a storm shelter.” Her hand now gently placed over Clarke’s. They both froze, neither realizing how close they were to each other. Both now closer to the middle of the seat then their own. Clarke could feel Lexa’s breath on her cheeks, could feel the heat diverging from her skin. It was only seconds that passed but it could have been hours. They’re eyes never leaving the other. 

Until an unwelcome sound broke them apart. A guttural scream that echoed through the sharp sounds of the rain smacking against the windows. The kind of scream that makes your blood run cold and your heart stop beating.

Clarke knew that scream.

Lexa leaned forward to look out the front window, Clarke following her lead. Standing in the middle of the road was a walker, but it didn’t look like any normal walker. It stood on two feet, slightly hunched over. It’s body was shaking, arms wrapped around itself. Like it was a real person stuck out in the cold. Clarke’s stomach jumped to her throat, something was awfully familiar about this. Gustus was the first to break the silence, having stayed quiet the entire ride.

“Heda, we’ve got company”

“This can’t be fucking happening…” Clarke whispered, not realizing she had said that out loud. Lexa looked at her, curious brows furrowed in question. But before she had the chance to voice her concern a static came over the radio and Anya’s voice could be heard on the other end.

_“Blondie, you seeing this?”_ Clarke’s eyes widened, the fear gripping her stomach. A nauseous feeling crept to the back of her throat and she swallowed it down quickly, reaching out to take the radio from Lincoln. Palms sweaty and hands shaky she took a a deep breath, pushing the button on the side with a soft _click._

“Yeah I have eyes Anya, I can see” Clarke responded, not caring about the obvious sarcasm dripping off the statement. She was too overwhelmed to give a fuck at the moment. She glanced over at Lexa who had remained silent this whole time, seeming to give Clarke her time to process before proceeding to explain their current shitty situation. She was so consumed with her own thoughts she forgot that Lexa and the others had no true idea what her and Anya went through in that mountain.

The creatures they faced.

Looking towards Lexa though, her placid sense of being would fool even the smartest person into thinking nothing was wrong. Clarke rolled her eyes, a soft scoff escaping her lips, slightly annoyed about Lexa’s sense of calm in a situation that is anything but. Ignoring the blush painting her cheeks from the cute way Lexa arches her eyebrow in question she raised the radio to her mouth once more, never breaking her eyes from Lexa.

“Give me a second, let me fill in your Commander” It was only two seconds after Clarke lifted her finger from the button that Anya spoke up, her impatience apparent.

_“Not much to fill in Heda, that is one of the creatures created by the mountain. If one is here more are near by, I’m certain”_ She went silent then, and Clarke furrowed her brow in confusion looking at the radio. She wasn’t sure if that was all Anya meant to say so she was apprehensive about interjecting with the rest of the story.

Her eyes flickered back to Lexa who seemed to be contemplating the information she was given. Her eyes reached Clarke’s again before she spoke.

“That is like the creature you and Anya faced during your escape.” She said pointing out the front window, not voicing her statement as a question. Of course Anya told her the entire story. Why wouldn’t she? It was key information in trying to figure out what’s going on inside the mountain and how to take it down.

“Yes” Clarke spit out without thinking. Then before they had time to formulate any plan, a shot rang out from the van behind them.

_“Shit! You dumb ass now they know were here! Heads up!”_

They both broke eye contact reluctantly to Anya’s warning and turned to look out the back window behind them. Suddenly in the time it took for a stroke of lightening to light up the sky the van behind them was flipped onto it’s side. Clarke’s eyes widened at the amount of enhanced Z’s now pinning the vehicle to the road. Collective growls and screams can be heard as they tried to get to their intended prey. Too many infected for Clarke to count were swarming from the overgrowth surrounding the small road, charging for the van. 

“What are they doing?” Lincoln spoke in a whisper, probably worried of alerting the horde to them. Clarke could hear Lexa take a sharp intake of breath as a few of them started savagely punching at the passenger side windows of the van. A couple of the others took notice and began kicking at the front windshield trying to get it to break. Clarke raised the radio to her lips, an eerie silence filled the car as they watched the wreckage before them.

_Click._

“Anya?” 

Silence. Clarke’s eyes drifted straight to Lexa’s sharp green gaze. Her face was still controlled, but you can see the beginning stages of panic sneaking it’s tendrils around the brunettes throat. Her breath was coming out shorter and quicker, her chest rising and falling at a much faster pace. A solid two minutes passed in anxious silence before they heard the familiar static sounds over the radio.

_Click._

_“C-Clarke the-y are break-in-help”_ Bellamy’s muffled voice broke out over the radio. The static was thick but they were able to make out enough to understand they didn’t have much time. Clarke took a deep breath, raising the radio to her mouth once more.

_Click._

“Hang in there, were getting you guys out.” 

It didn’t take much more convincing for Clarke to grab one of the automatics they packed in with the supplies and reach to open her door. Lexa grabbed her shoulder, quickly stopping her. Blue turned to green to address the urgency of their current situation but the look in the brunette’s eyes halted her movements. 

Lexa put a finger to her lips signaling for everyone to remain quiet. She casually nodded in the direction of Clarke’s window. Slowly all four pairs of eyes gazed in that direction.

You could hear the collective intake of breath that escaped all four of them.

Just as many - if not more - advanced infected were standing just five feet from their jeep. A horde of fifteen to twenty progressive, intelligent and hungry rotters. 

Slowly they all knelt down on all fours. From this distance Clarke could see their fingers digging into the rough concrete. Nails splitting down until bleeding, teeth bare and gritted. Growls escaping from their lips as easily as the saliva dripping off their bloody chins. They weren’t just looking for a meal. 

They wanted more. 

They were ready to hunt. 

Shit.

* * *

“Fuck! They’re trying to kick their way in!” Murphy’s voice broke through Anya’s subconscious as her brown eyes opened slowly. A dull throb in the back of her head brought her back to reality. Nyko’s soft gaze was the first thing she saw. She furrowed her brow as she tried to sit up, flinching at the sudden pain in her side. Looking down she noticed a sharp piece of glass from the drivers side window was lodged under her ribs.

Slowly her senses began coming back to her, making out the faint sounds of grunts and moans from the other occupants in the car. Looking over her shoulder she noticed Bellamy and Murphy. They both looked to have a few scratches and bruises, but looked relatively fine. Turning her attention back to Nyko she cleared her throat, her eyes scanning him over for any serious injuries.

“I’m fine Anya, we need to take care of you” Nyko reassured her, already knowing what she was doing.

“I think we need to avoid getting torn to fucking pieces first don’t you think?” Murphy interjected, a small tone of panic within his voice. Anya clenched her teeth against the pain as she fully sat up, rejecting Nyko’s offer of help. She was sitting against the now broken window. Her back against the vans ceiling. She looked up, greeted by monsters she was hoping to never have to see again.

“What the fuck are these things?! They’re not normal Z’s!” Murphy screamed, obviously letting his panic get the better of him. Anya rolled her eyes ignoring the boy as she looked back at Nyko. Keeping eye contact with him she gripped onto the piece of glass in her side in a silent question ready to pull it out. She sighed at his sudden look of distress.

“Do I have any other choice?” She asked softly, only for his ears. He bit his lip, seeming to contemplate their options. Looking up and to his right where more Z’s were trying to kick their way in he knew what the answer was. Quickly he ripped both sleeves of his shirt off, taking one and wrapping it around his hand. He carefully removed her fingers from the glass shard replacing it with his wrapped one, not breaking eye contact. He silently counted to three before yanking it out. Anya gritted her teeth through the pain, trying to muffle her sounds the best she can. He quickly took the other scrap of cloth and tied it tightly around her torso, securing it the best he can.

“That will have to do for now” He said with a sigh, his medical side telling him that it really wasn’t enough.

“Okay good, now if you can move were gonna have to go quickly. We don’t have much time” Bellamy spoke up. He had already crawled to the very back of the van trying to find an escape. 

Unfortunately they were completely surrounded on all sides.

They were trapped.

Anya’s eyes frantically darted around the car, trying to find anything of use.

“Guns?” The question flowed from her mouth not directed at anyone in particular.

“We’ve got a few, but even if we go scar face on these guys there are still too many of them” Bellamy answered, having already thought of this option. Anya sighed, gripping her side against another wave of pain. She could only think of one other alternative and she knew Lexa wouldn’t like it. Biting her lip to keep the grimace of pain off her face she looked directly at Bellamy, her voice coming out stronger than she felt.

“Explosives?”

* * *

“Go Clarke! Move!” Lexa yelled in her direction as they jumped from the jeep. The horde slamming into the other side the second they bolted. Lexa had the semi Clarke had grabbed strapped to her back along with a sword and a few pistols and blades equipped to her legs. She was mowing down any Z’s that were trying to jump over the now downed vehicle. 

Clarke quickly scrambled to her feet, reaching for the pistol she had strapped to her thigh. Her heart fell when her hand was met with air, her pistol having had fallen off during all the commotion. She looked up then catching sight of a rotter barreling in her direction. Jaw snapping as it jumped on of top of her. She barely had time to register the threat before she was using all the strength in her upper body to keep the rotters snapping jaw at a distance as they rolled in the mud. 

Clarke has been in sticky situations before. She even, unfortunately, mimicked this position with a few rotters in the past. But this was unlike the others. This Z was enhanced in every way possible. Strength, speed, intelligence. They formulated plans and communicated with each other. To say Clarke was scared would be an understatement. But she would also be lying if she didn’t find them excruciatingly fascinating. Even their weaknesses were few and far between. The only thing the blonde had come up with thus far was that light was not friendly to them. 

As her strength begins to weaken and her arms start turning to jelly she peers into the sky past the rotters head. The sun was there, she knew that for certain. It was just hidden behind so many clouds it didn’t look like it would be making an appearance any time soon. Turning her attention back to her potential end, she took the last few seconds she assumed she had left to study the face of her assailant. It was a female, that was for certain. Her short dark hair doing nothing to disguise the high cheek bones and the slender neck. She looked to be about Clarke’s age, maybe a few years younger.

“Ah! No!” Clarke couldn’t contain her screams as the Z pushed passed her defenses just enough to tear it’s teeth into the collar of her shirt. Clarke clenched her jaw, willing herself to hold on. She knew she didn’t have much longer. The feeling in her arms fading as they began to become weak, the blood having left them long ago. 

_Please, I don’t want to die today._

_Not today._

The thoughts kept swirling in her mind as she tried her best to keep strong, even for just a little longer. She tried taking in her surroundings, wondering what happened to the others. To her right she could scarcely see Lincoln attempting to help Gustus with a small horde barreling in on them. Both men brandishing similar swords as Lexa.

_Lexa_

The rotter took her momentary distraction to lunge forward again. Using its arms to swing out, clawing the left side of her face. She cried out, hearing more than feeling the skin tear as it’s nails ran down the length of her cheek.

“Clarke!” A faint voice can be heard yelling in her direction but she barely registered the sound. She could barely notice anything except the sharp throb in her cheek and the snarling blood thirsty creature leering over top her. Her elbows began to buckle as her arms finally made the choice to render themselves useless.

“Clarke don’t you dare give up! Don’t even think about it!” That voice was Lexa, even in Clarke’s foggy state she was able to pick out her voice among all the snarls and screams. Glancing to her left blue eyes landed on green. Having thrown off her semi in place of her sword. She remained stoic and seemingly unfazed, even in the midst of a life and death situation. Clarke could see the determination as she mowed one after the other down, having decided decapitation was the fastest way to take them down. Even if they were still technically alive and alert, they were immobile and essentially no threat.

Cerulean met bright green as Lexa swiped her blade through an advancing rotters neck. Removing his head from his shoulders with practiced ease. Lexa quickly advanced on Clarke having finally made a clear path in her direction. One quick slash of her sword and the looming threat on Clarke’s life was nothing more than a snapping head rolling through the muddy grass. The rotters torso was still squirming, arms flailing desperately trying to reach her still. Lexa silently reached around placing her hands on the - still moving - shoulders of the rotter and lifting it off her. 

Clarke gasped for air she didn’t realize she was being kept from, rolling onto her side to try and find some distance between her and the still rolling head. Looking up at Lexa she finally took in the state of the brunette. Her skin glistened lightly as the rain droplets cascaded down her toned arms. Her hair - usually in tight braids - was now mussy and wet. Some braids completely undone, while others just look pulled and out of place. And yet despite the size of the horde she just took on, the only thing that showed what she had just gone through was the obscene amount of blood and bile covering her entire front. Her chest rose and fell slowly as she caught what little breath she lost, her eyes searching through Clarke’s before she spoke.

“Are you okay?” The question came out soft, and maybe a little unsure. But looking at the sincerity etched on the brunette’s face she knew it came from a place of care. She tried desperately to ignore the flutter in her stomach the thought brought her.

“Y-yeah I think so” Clarke answered, her voice coming out hoarse and raw. Glancing at Lexa’s concerned gaze she followed it to her chest. Looking down she noticed her shirt was practically hanging off her now, the bite sized tear obvious in the collar. Lexa walked slowly towards her, bending down so she was eye level with Clarke who was now sitting up. The brunette slowly reached out, lightly grazing the open scratch on her cheek, careful not to cause the blonde anymore pain.

“Did you- I mean did it..?” Lexa’s question faltered as her eyebrows creased, bottom lip tucked into her teeth. She seemed to be having trouble finding the words to voice her clear concern. It didn’t take much for Clarke to grasp what the brunette was trying to ask. Carefully Clarke raised a hand to cover the brunettes on her cheek. Blue eyes connected with green again as she brought their entwined hands down to her lap, squeezing Lexa’s hand reassuringly.

“No Lexa it didn’t bite me, only scratched me” Clark replied, finding it increasingly more difficult to keep her heart rate down while staring into the greenest forest she’s ever seen. Lexa seemed to study her for a second before accepting the blonde’s answer. Green eyes fell to Clarke’s lap, their fingers still comfortably entwined. Lexa’s thumb was grazing soft patterns over the top of Clarke’s hand and she honestly couldn’t deny how much she enjoyed it. 

As soon as the silence grew a second too long Lexa cleared her throat. She casually took her hand back from Clarke’s lap, bracing her hands on her knees as she stood. Walking over to the head of Clarke’s assailant she unsheathed her sword and stabbed it directly in the temple, lifting the head up to peer at it. It was still moving, eyes now rolled back in it’s head, mouth twitching slightly, but still moving. Unlike it’s normal counterparts, the enhanced rotters only weakness was light or flame as far as Clarke could tell.

“So, you have any idea what the hell happened to these things?” Lexa asked, stoic posture and commander mask firmly in place once again. Clarke internally sighed, she wasn’t sure what the hell was happening between her and Lexa, but she was beginning to get annoyed with feeling like she’s the only one that notices. 

As Clarke opens her mouth to give some sassy response back about how she’s never heard the mighty Commander curse before, a loud explosion rang out a few feet from them. Lexa instinctively drops her sword, rotter head still attached, and falls atop Clarke who was still in her position on the floor. The force from the explosion and Lexa’s body drives her back and she falls with a low grunt. She hardly registered Lexa’s arms wrapped protectively around her until the ringing in her ears started to subside and Lexa’s body began to shift on top of her.

“What the fuck was that?” Clarke groaned as Lexa removed her entire body from hers, standing up. Clarke slowly followed suit, wiping off the mud and grass sticking to her jeans from the rain. Clarke noticed Lexa go stiff, one of her hands coming out to grip Clarke’s forearm. The blonde looked down at the hand on her arm then back at the Commander, giving her a questioning look. The brunette’s body began to shake, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to find the words to answer Clarke’s question. But only one thing was able to escape her lips as she looked out on the devastation that used to be the road. It came out just above a whisper, just loud enough for Clarke to hear.

“They’re gone…”

* * *

_No, no, no…_

Clarke’s mind screams at her as her legs start moving before her mind has a chance to catch up. Her shoes spraying mud on her jeans with ever step. She was so focused on getting to the van she hadn’t noticed the remaining advanced Z’s retreating from the light the flames cast. She couldn’t register the voice screaming her name trying to halt her movements. She couldn’t register the sound the explosion created was attracting rotters from all over. She barely registered the lick of warmth the flames cast on her skin as she neared the wreckage. 

She couldn’t feel the arms circling around her waist pulling her back.

She couldn’t feel her nails digging into the skin of said arms.

She couldn’t feel the strain in her muscles as she pushed and pulled against her capture.

She couldn’t feel.

In that moment everything became numb. 

“Shh, Clarke we need to go. Were attracting too much attention” The soft whisper in her ear sent a warmth down her spine, waking her up. Her body started shaking as she furiously shook her head, trying desperately to escape Lexa’s tight grip. The brunette just held on tighter, letting Clarke take her frustrations out on her as she tried to pull her away from the flames.

“Wait, no. NO! Bellamy! Murphy!” Clarke found her voice and it came out shaky and hoarse to her own ears. It didn’t sound like her, she felt like she was staring down at the tragic scene just watching herself breakdown. Yet, even among all the chaos she shed not one single tear. As much as her body was shaking and trying desperately to release her sorrows in some physical way she wouldn’t allow it. She transformed that sorrow into anger and desperation. Forcing her body to push harder and stronger to try and get to her friends.

_They are alive._

_They have to be alive._

She could feel a second and third pair of arms wrapping around both her shoulders as she was dragged away. She didn’t stop fighting them until she could no longer see the orange glow cast out by the fire. When they neared an adjacent building, quickly filing inside, Lincoln and Gustus dropped their grip from Clarke as they worked to barricade the door.

She stood there, her breathing shallow and her chest tight. She closed her eyes trying to shake the images of the van engulfed in flames from her mind. Her hands began to shake and her chest grew tighter with ever breath, as her traitorous mind took her back to the devastation that happened only moments ago. 

To the back seat of a jeep, on an easy mission to find lost friends.

To the deafening scream that shredded her insides.

To the last word she heard from Bellamy.

_Help._

Her knees buckled beneath her as her own desolation washed over her. If it weren’t for the strong arms around her waist she was sure she would have hit the ground face first. She felt Lexa’s grip leave her waist and circle around her arms, folding them tight to Clarke’s chest. She could feel Lexa’s breath in her ear as she fell to the floor with her, refusing to let go. Whispering calming nothings as she held her tight to her, Clarke’s back to her chest.

“Just breathe for me Clarke” Lexa whispered to her calmly, rubbing soothing circles on her arms with her thumbs. “Focus on my voice. Try and match my breathing” She continued softly in Clarke’s ear, her chest moving in quick rhythm with Clarke’s before starting to slow down to a normal pace. 

Clarke tried to focus on her, tried to relax herself enough to take a deep breath but her body just shook harder. The more she focused the more she lost control. 

“I-I can-t” Clarke stammered out, her teeth beginning to chatter as the cold air sent goosebumps along her wet skin. She could feel her blood running through her veins, could sense every shake and quiver her body had, trying desperately to fight itself through the shock. 

Lexa simply nodded, seeming to understand her predicament. Clarke could feel the grip around her tighten as Lexa drew her impossibly closer. She could feel the brunette’s heart beat on her back. Soft, even beats as it pumped blood through her body. Clarke closed her eyes, trying to focus on the soft thud she could feel on her back. The soft exhale of breath at the nape of her neck.

“I want you to do me a favor Clarke” Lexa said, her voice soft and gentle even under the currant circumstance. The blonde could only nod in response, unable to form anymore words, knowing most likely they’ll come out as a stuttering mess. “I need you to look around the room for me, can you do that?” The question was simple. The simplest request really. But still it took all the strength in Clarke’s body to fulfill it. Slowly and reluctantly she opened her eyes. 

The room itself was dark. The storm and the clouds outside doing nothing to help the chilling ambiance in the room. The windows were boarded up already, as she faintly noticed Gustus and Lincoln trying to find objects to barricade the front door. If they had noticed her breaking down they didn’t show it.

“Okay can you point out five objects you see for me?” Lexa requested, her voice still as soft and gentle as before. Clarke nodded, her eyes now taking the time to wander. 

“Lincoln, Gustus, a chair, a coffee table-” Clarke listed off the first items her eyes landed on. Focusing on the last item sitting next to her leg on the floor. “And your sword” She finished, able to take a bigger breath then before.

“Okay good, that’s really good. Now can you tell me four things you can feel?” Lexa asked, her hands slowly releasing their grip from Clarke’s arms. With shaky hands Clarke touched the front of her shirt.

“I feel fabric, rain drops on my skin-” Clarke moved her unsteady hand to the floor, feeling the soft plush rug underneath her. “I feel carpet, and-” Clarke’s voice cut out as she leaned back slowly, relishing in the warmth the body behind her gives.

“And what Clarke?”

“You, I- I feel you” Clarke choked out, her fingers moving up to grasp onto Lexa’s knee. Like the brunette was the only thing tethering her to this world. That if she were to let go she would fly away. Lexa tensed for half a second before she was wrapping her arms around the blonde again, pulling her back flush against her chest.

“Very good Clarke. How about three things you can hear?” Clarke closed her eyes, trying to focus on just what her ears pick up. 

“I can hear your voice, Lincoln and Gustus in the front and I can hear the rain against the windows.” Clarke answered much faster than the last two. Her shaking seemed to be subsiding as her chest became lighter and less heavy.

“Alright, now two things you can smell” By this point Clarke could guess what Lexa was going to ask of her next. Her mind becoming less foggy with each answer she gave.

“The faint smell of water damage” Clarke starts off, seeming to have noticed the smell when she first walked in, even through her panic induced haze. What she said next surprised the both of them. “And a smell I’ve personally grown fond of the last few days - pine.” Clarke finished, turning around hesitantly in Lexa arms so she can look at the brunette, stare into the green timber gaze she’s come to get used to. “You” The word came out as barely a whisper, but Lexa heard it. Her eyes grew a little wide as her lips pursed into an ‘o’ shape.

“G-good, that’s good Clarke” Lexa stumbled on her words. Something that was a first for Clarke to see. She wasn’t sure if it was her that was making the other girl so nervous or the fact that their faces were inches a part. Their breaths mingling together in the small space. Her chest was no longer tight and she found she could finally take a deep breath without feeling like her lungs were constricting.

Clarke knew what a panic attack was. She had been suffering from them since her dad died. Yet, she had never been able to escape the panic as quickly as she just had. She also hadn’t had anyone to coach her through her breathing in the middle of one. Looking down in her lap Clarke noticed her hands were entwined with Lexa’s, resting comfortably between them. She squeezed lightly to draw the brunette’s attention. Green eyes snapped to her blue, her bottom lip curling under her teeth as she contemplates what to do next. Clarke smirked, trying to ease Lexa’s obvious discomfort.

“Is this the part when you ask me to tell you one thing I taste?” Clarke asked, her voice coming out much more sultry then she had intended, only hoping the other girl didn’t notice. By the look in Lexa’s eyes and the throb in her throat as she swallowed thickly, she did. Lexa just nodded in response, apparently not trusting her own voice at the moment either. Green eyes kept glancing from soft pink lips to sky blue eyes unable to stay focused. 

Clarke took a deep breath closing her eyes and leaning in. She could feel the tip of Lexa’s nose graze hers as the brunette’s hand came up to snake around the nape of Clarke’s neck, drawing her closer. The blonde can feel her heart beat pick up it’s pace, threatening to jump free from her chest. She can feel foreign breath on her lips and can see Lexa’s tongue jutting out just enough to lightly wet her soft lips, inviting the blonde. Clarke couldn’t fathom how she got here, how the day that started out with a clear plan that went horribly wrong can end like this. But as Lexa’s grip curled around the hairs at the nape of her neck and her eyes closed she couldn’t find it in her to give a fuck.

“Heda, everything is secure- oh!” Gustus’ voice breaks them out of their trance and they quickly broke apart. Like teenagers being walked in on by a parent. Neither of them able to look at the other, but both looking frazzled beyond repair. Lexa quickly stands, wiping the imaginary dirt from her clothes as she clears her throat. Clarke can feel her ears burning under the embarrassment as she stood as well, folding her arms around herself. Hoping to hide herself from his judgemental gaze. Lexa quickly stepped in, walking in front of Clarke to hide her view from Gustus.

“Thank you Gustus, how are we on food?” Lexa asked as if the past thirty seconds didn’t happen. That he didn’t just walk in on them about to cross some very dangerous lines with each other. 

“We obviously lost a lot of supplies in the explosion Heda, but we were able to find a few cans of salvageable food in the cupboards here. Lincoln is now trying to make a fire.” Gustus answered, gesturing behind him to the other room Lincoln is probably at attempting to build that fire. Lexa just nodded her acknowledgement as she turned around hands again clasped behind her back. The commander clear as day in her features and Lexa the girl that calmed her down only moments ago was gone.

“I’m gonna go wash up” Clarke said, running her hand through her hair and walking out of the room in search of a bathroom, ignoring Lexa’s concerned gaze as she leaves. Quickly grabbing a water bottle from the small backpack Lincoln had worn, she made her way down the hallway of the small house they occupied. Finding a small bathroom she quickly stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

She stood there leaning against the door for longer than she intended. Her mind flashing memories of the past hour she wanted very much to forget. Turning to lean over the sink Clarke took a glance in the mirror. Seeing herself for the first time since that morning. Her hair was disheveled, blood and dirt matting it together in knots. Her eyes looked sunken and raw, the product of tears not shed and grief not mourned. The scratch was clear across her face, going from the bottom of her right eye down to the left side of her chin. There was just enough pressure added to break skin so it wasn’t too deep.

She took in a shaky breath as she splashed some water in her hands and rubbed in on her face, being careful not to irritate the scratch anymore. Trying to scrub the dried blood and mud from under her pours. And when she was finished she kept scrubbing, hoping to clean the events of the day. To wash them down the drain where they belong. She shoved every emotion and memory of the two lives she lost away. She knew she couldn’t dwell on it. She had to get back to the others. Raven, Monty, Jasper and Octavia.

_Shit. Octavia._

Clarke crumpled in on herself for the third time that day, falling to the bathroom floor in a pathetic heap. This time though nobody was around to watch her break, this time she can lose herself completely until she would have no choice but to put herself back together again. They didn’t have time in this world to hold onto grief like that. It was a good way to show signs of weakness, a good way to get yourself killed. The mere fact that she fell so deep into herself in front of Lexa will haunt her for a long time. But the brunette didn’t crumple under the pressure, didn’t back away hesitantly unsure of what to do. She kept Clarke close, helped her work through the panic and refused to give up on her until she did.

Leaning her head against the cold wall and running her hands through her messy hair, she shook those thoughts away. Feeling the despair rising inside of her again threatening to swallow her whole, she made the only choice that has ever made any sense to her in this fucked up world. A choice she was sure was the wrong one, but the fact that she couldn’t breathe was enough reason for her to make it. She needed to break away to give herself a chance to think.

She just hoped Lexa would understand.

* * *

“With all due respect Heda, you’re acting like a fool”

“Excuse me?” Lexa asked Gustus, wide eyed and astounded. She had always encouraged her people to speak their mind. Never liking the idea of being a leader who couldn’t handle a little criticism. But for one of her top guards to speak so blatantly towards her was a surprise, even to her. He seemed to realize how sharp his words came across, quickly clearing his throat and continuing. 

“I just mean that your feelings for this girl can put you in more danger than you think” Lexa quirked an eyebrow up in question, her lips turning into a half smirk before she could stop herself.

“I think I am more than capable of handling my personal relationships on my own Gustus. Though I appreciate your concern.” Lexa said, turning around and looking at the only two maps they had on them - both of which were completely drenched from the rain and in the process of drying.

“Heda, you misunderstand me…” He paused, seeming to think over his next words carefully “The… The Ice Nat-” Lexa quickly raised her hand, silencing him instantly. 

“Em Pleni!” Her voice was raw as her fingers grasped the table in front of her, her knuckles turning white under the pressure. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she forced herself to turn around and look at her most trusted guard, keeping her cold stare trained on his.

“I will not hear another word about this Gustus. If you fear more danger on my life then the obvious then do your job and protect me.” She narrowed her eyes at the last words, hands balled into fists at her sides. He kept eye contact with her the whole time, seeming to contemplate his next move. One thing Lexa appreciated the most about Gustus was his ability to not be fazed by anything, even her. He also knew when he had a chance at winning an argument and when he clearly lost.

“As you wish Heda” Gustus said with a sigh realizing his defeat, refusing to break his eyes from hers “I will go assist Lincoln with the fire” He finished and with a dismissing nod from her he left the room. Leaving her to her own thoughts.

Taking another deep breath to try and center herself she turned back around and leaned her hands on the table, peering at the maps in front of her. She would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t surprised about what transpired with Clarke. She had seen many panic attacks, and helped with most. But the look on Clarke’s face broke her more than she thought it could. The look of pure fear and sorrow gripping the blondes heart so tightly it crippled her. And then the - almost - kiss afterwards was a shock to the both of them. Lexa was sure Clarke was as unprepared as she was. Nevertheless she couldn’t deny her disappointment about the interruption. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t been thinking about what Clarke’s lips taste like.

Clearing her throat along with her mind Lexa tries to focus back to the maps in front of her. Now that they were on foot they would have to come up with a whole to path to take. Taking back roads and side streets to keep off the main road. If the mountain is sending out it’s psychotic experiments they needed to stay as hidden as they could. Furrowing her brow Lexa’s gaze landed on the small candle at the side of the table lighting of the maps in front of her. It’s flame, so far calm and still, was now flicking rapidly from side to side. The hair on Lexa’s arms stood as a soft breeze coast through the room. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

Her heart sank.

Before she could stop herself her feet were a blur beneath her as she ran full speed through the house. She passed the room Lincoln and Gustus occupied, the obvious look of panic on her face not going unnoticed by the pair.

She didn’t know how she made it to the bathroom but she was now standing in the middle of the small room. Her heart hammering in her chest so wildly she worried it would burst through. Her blood ran cold in her veins as her legs began to move her forward, towards the small open window above the bathtub. Her hand reached out, wanting desperately to look out. Maybe Clarke was there. Maybe she changed her mind and needed to get back inside. But just as her fingers gripped the cold metal border of the window someone grabbed her shoulder, yanking her back.

“Heda, the storm is too strong. If she left then you must trust she knows what she is doing.” Gustus’ voice was in her ear, a calm rendition of earlier. But she just shook her head in answer, unable to find words. Unable to say the words, in fear of making it true. Luckily Lincoln decided to take the weight off her shoulders.

“She’s gone Heda” Lincolns fingers wrapped gently around her other arm, trying to get her to back up. She let them guide her, legs feeling too cold and numb for her to take control. She stood there, hands balled into fists, nails digging into skin. Watched as Gustus and Lincoln closed the window, locking it. She bites her lip against the new pain in her chest. Taking steadying breaths she set her face and expression back to that of the stoic Commander. Even if she was anything but stoic on the inside, even if she was fighting against every instinct she had to jump out that window and go and find the blonde. But she had a job to do. She had people to take care of, and her people always came first. They had to get to the nearest trading post and send out messengers about the mountains new threat. 

Walking out of the small room that last held Clarke, Lexa hopes to never have to set foot in there ever again. Turning around to face Lincoln and Gustus who just shut the door behind them she turns to them, hands behind her back and shoulders high.

“We leave for the nearest trading post in the morning, get some rest.” She turns around, desperately needing a chance to breathe. She needed space away from scrutinizing eyes and judgemental glances. Walking into a bedroom in the back, Lexa closed the door behind her leaning her clammy forehead on the cold door. She shut her eyes closed tightly, willing the ache in her chest to go away. She hadn’t felt like this since…

_No!_

Lexa thought, willing her mind not to succumb those dark memories once again. She couldn’t go back to that place. She refused to. But her mind had other ideas, repeating words that destroyed Lexa more than she thought possible.

_She’s gone._

_They’re all gone._


	10. Oso gonplei nou ste odon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath... We get to know a little about Lexa in this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry again that it took me so long! I've just been having trouble finding my muse. I wrote half this chapter and it took me forever to get the rest of it down. I'm sorry if it comes off that way, it wasn't my best but I do enjoy this chapter because we get to know more about Lexa. I really hope you like it :)

_An ominous echo of frantic footsteps reverberates through the hall as Lexa runs. Her destination was clear, but no matter how hard she pushed her legs she couldn’t run fast enough. She could feel light droplets of sweat begin to bead on her forehead but she paid no attention, just pushing her body harder and faster. She knew, deep down - despite her effort - she was too late._

_[An hour earlier]_

_Lexa was in the middle of another boring, useless meeting with her father and the elders of each tribe in the reservation when all hell broke loose. It started with multiple cell phones going off at once. Texts going off and phones ringing off the hook. The men in the room unsure if they should answer the calls from their panicked families or not. Just when the anxious feeling in the room became almost too much to bare, Gustus came flying in the room, not even bothering to knock before entering. Everyone stared at him in complete silence as they watched the man that has always been accustomed to remaining calm and dignified in the most chaotic of situations unravel before them. His breathing was ragged and fast - if the heaving of his chest was anything to go by. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his eyes alert and wide with panic._

_Or is that fear Lexa sees?_

_“Heda-” Gustus says, clearly out of breath but trying hard to keep his composure while addressing her father. “You need to see this” he finishes as he grabs the control for the TV hanging on the wall in front of them and turns it on, changing it to the local news channel._

_The screen flickers on and immediately devastation and death fill the screen. The news reporter, clearly young and looking very inexperienced at her job was trying desperately to capture the chaos in the city streets. People running away screaming as feral, flesh hungry people ran after them - teeth bared, ripping into flesh. The screen flicked to another reporter in a different part of the city as a swat team circles around a convulsing person._

_“The victim seemed to have been bitten only a few minutes before this. The swat team already eliminated the original threat. Now they seem to be trying to calm the victim down” The male reporter says as he tries to walk closer to the scene without interrupting the authorities. The swat was assembled around the victim trying to keep him out of view of the cameras and curious eyes._

_Lexa was silently glad Gustus chose this news channel over the many others because whomever the camera man on this news station was - wasn’t about to walk away without a decent shot. He was able to maneuver around the surrounding people and lift his camera above the crowd, facing the lens at the convulsing body in the middle of the mass of people. Suddenly the convulsing stopped, the body growing completely still. His eyes going completely white as they rolled into the back of his head. The only thing that told everyone he was still breathing was the heavy rise and fall of his chest. The meeting room was completely quite as everyone was stuck on the flickering TV in front of them. Suddenly in a split second the man was up and sinking his teeth into the nearest swat guy. Cries and screams rang out along the city street as the people surrounding the space dispersed in all directions. Shots began ringing out as suddenly the swat guy turned victim fell to the floor clutching his bleeding neck as he started convulsing like the previous victim. Chaos ensued as the reporter and his camera man began running frantically away from the massacre unfolding behind them._

_“It is unknown what this virus is!” The man screams into the camera as they are running away. The camera moving so violently it was making Lexa sick. The man suddenly puts his hand to his left ear, trying to listen to something or someone through his headset._

_“It has just been reported the president has put the entire country in a state of emergency. You are to remain indoors, all entrances sealed and locked. You are to allow NO ONE inside, remain sealed from the outside. This is a country wide state of emergency!” He reports, seemingly out of breath at this point but having made it to the van, opening the sliding door and climbing in looking to the camera one last time._

_“God help us all.” was the last words he spoke before the screen flickered off and a blue background filled the screen, a very loud alarm blaring through it. The words “STATE WIDE EMERGENCY” flashed on the screen before a smaller banner beneath it read out instructions for the clueless scared citizens of the city._

_The room remained silent for a long time, nobody quite grasping their new reality just yet. The phones that were ignored during the broadcast seemed to light up and fill the room with a mix of unwelcome sounds. Everyone decided to answer, no longer trying or caring to remain professional. Lexa glanced at her dad, his posture remained the same, his eyes casting nothing of his feelings. The emotions hidden behind the mask of the Commander- the mask that she was learning to wear._

_“Father?” Lexa whispered in his direction, for his ears only. Even if she did speak louder she was certain no one in the room would notice, too focused on the phones in their hands. Her father seemed to have not heard, and if he did he chose to ignore her, letting the many leaders in the room have their moment to check in with their families. Lexa swallowed hard, her stomach seeming to be doing flips. She finally looked to her bag on the floor containing her own phone. Slowly and with shaky hands she reached in her bag pulling out her phone and pushing the button so the screen lights up. Her heart jumps into her throat when she sees she has a missed a few calls from her girlfriend along with one single text. She looked at the time on her phone and noticed it was still early. Her girlfriend was at rehearsals for the school play she was starring in next week. She knew Costia took her drama class seriously and would never text her until after it was over._

_With clammy hands she swiped the screen, opening up the message. Her eyes widened and before she knew it she was on her feet. She could faintly remember her father screaming her name and beckoning her back, but she was focused on one thing. She needed to get to her. Something was wrong._

_Running to her car, fumbling with her keys to open the door she slipped inside. Unlocking her phone again to respond quickly to the text. Her eyes focused on the last message she received from her girlfriend as her thumbs worked quickly to type out her response. After hitting send she threw her phone in her middle console pulled away, slipping out of the parking lot as fast as she could._

_[Cos (Saturday - 1:32 PM)]: Lexa.. Something happened.._

_[Lexa (Saturday - 1:58 PM)]: I’m on my way!_

* * *

_She could feel her blood grow cold as she neared the end of the long school hallway. She knew her girlfriend would be in the drama room. She lived and breathed the stage and it didn’t take an expert to realize the young short haired brunette would remain in that room, emergency or not._

_Lexa slowed down as she neared the door, taking a deep breath and steadying herself before she walked inside. So far upon entering the school parking lot she ran into nothing to alert her to potential danger or a threat. It unfortunately took her half an hour longer on the already hour long drive off the reservation and to her girlfriends school. The traffic on the highway increasing exponentially as people attempted to escape the city. Shaking her head and clearing every negative thought she had, she slowly pushed against the door, walking inside._

_It took her some time for her eyes to adjust to her surroundings. The two small stage lights lighting up the theater stage doing nothing to illuminate her surroundings, Blinking the small white dots from her vision Lexa looked around the small space, trying to find something that was out of place. Walking down the steps, past the auditorium seats and closer to the stage she kept her eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary. But everything seemed… normal._

_She stopped, unable to move any further. Even though her surroundings seemed completely untouched she couldn’t escape the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was wrong._

_That she was too late._

_A loud clang can be heard from back stage drawing Lexa’s attention. As she stepped on the stage and walked closer to the curtain - separating the stage from the back - her lungs seemed to collapse on her. Her breaths came in quick bursts as a sudden fear gripped around her throat. Low moans can be heard directly behind the curtain and she swallowed hard trying to remain as silent as possible as her shaky hand reached for the curtain, long fingers curling around the fabric as she threw it open in one quick motion._

_Her throat seemed to close and drown out a silent scream, as her stomach turned and clenched from the sight. She was staring at what can only be described as crimson slaughter. Various members of the drama club littering the floor. Their bodies bloody and torn apart, their faces frozen in death, complete fear taking over their expressions. Lexa clamped a hand over her nose to cover the growing smell filling the small, windowless space. Her eyes flickered with tears she refused to let fall as she silently stepped over bodies - being mindful of the intestines and body parts spilling out onto the floor. She gently flipped over bodies, looking at faces - hoping she doesn’t find her among the masses. Her body shook, her eyes flickering back and forth. Her instincts told her to check over her shoulder every thirty seconds - unsure if whatever caused this was still around. Her only focus was on finding Costia._

_Checking over the last body in the room she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was keeping in. Relief flooded her system at the thought that maybe she got away, maybe she just lost her phone and couldn’t contact Lexa to let her know she was okay._

_Yeah, maybe…_

_A low growl can be heard from a few feet behind the brunette. Lexa froze, taking in a sharp breath. Turning slowly around as to not startle whatever was behind her. She could feel her knees begin to buckle at the sight she took in, her throat constricting against a silent cry. There was a clear bite on her arm, the swollen red skin and blood trailing from the open wound showed it was fresh. The lips that were once so pink and soft - always inviting - were now pale, outlined in a faint blue. Blood fell from her chin, as a piece of skin still lodged into her once beautiful smile fell to the floor with her next growl. Her hands clenched at her sides, her body shaking as she let out a scream. Her once gorgeous locks now mangled and knotted._

_She was unrecognizable._

_Lexa fell backwards in surprise, tripping over a body behind her. As Costia advanced on her Lexa began crawling back frantically trying to get friction against the slippery, body covered floor. Costia lunged immediately falling flat on her stomach as she reached for Lexa’s ankle, digging her nails into the skin it connected with. Lexa gritted her teeth, trying to shake her feral girlfriend from her leg._

_“Costia! What the hell- Ah!” Lexa’s question was cut off as Costia was able to get enough friction to launch herself forward, landing on Lexa’s stomach - teeth bared, ready for new flesh. Lexa had no time to contemplate a proper plan, her fight or flight instincts taking over. Without thought Lexa raised her elbow ramming it into Costias’ chin, trying to push her off. To Lexa’s dismay it did nothing to deter her girlfriend from her pursuit, the unending hunger shining through her darkened eyes. She could no longer see the happy, beautiful girl she fell in love with. The girl that lived for winter nights and warm cuddles under a big blanket. The girl whose heart was too big and too pure for this world. The girl who stole Lexa’s heart from the first smile and sarcastic comeback. A girl who was no longer there - and if she was, there was no bringing her back after this._

_She was gone._

_Lexa saw something shiny in her peripherals and quickly released her other arm from under Costias’ knee that held it down, reaching for the foreign object. Costia jerked forward again, her jaw snapping shut, releasing a frustrated snarl when she couldn’t reach the brunette. In that moment something snapped in Lexa, some type of self preservation she didn’t realize was in her. Quickly kicking her legs up she heaved Costias’ body off her, the small feral brunettes’ back slamming into the tile floor. It took no longer than two seconds for Costia to be up on her feet again, charging at Lexa. Without even a thought behind it, Lexa’s fingers curled around the rope used for the curtain. As Costia lunged, Lexa moved swiftly to her right, moving behind the small brunette quickly and tying the rope around her neck. Costia didn’t let up on her advance - actually seeming to grow stronger and more restless. Her arms lashing out in all directions, the rope squeezing off her growls. Lexa watched in disbelief as the rope dug further and further into her skin, cutting deep._

_Lexa seemed to snap out of it, shaking her head and backing away from the girl she loves. The small slender body of her girlfriend was still attempting to advance forward without any care for the rope close to decapitating her. Lexa couldn’t keep her eyes from Costia as she backed away, trying to get to the door without tripping on any of the bodies littering the floor. Just then the rope seemed to break from the hook it was attached to, causing Costia to fly forward in her momentum. Lexa stumbled back, not wishing to be stuck in the same situation she was a second ago. Quickly she reached out for the only thing she saw to defend herself - a wooden chair leg that seemed to have broken off._

_As Costia reached her, slim fingers curling around the collar of Lexa’s shirt, the brunette stepped back in surprise, the wooden piece ending up lodged inside the girls temple in the blink of an eye. Green eyes widened as she let go of the wood, not daring to pull it out. She watched helplessly as her girlfriends eyes dimmed, her lids started to close and she began to descend, unable to hold herself up any longer._

_Without thinking Lexa moved her arms out to catch her before she fell. . The room grew heavy in the silence and all Lexa could hear was the loud drum of her heartbeat as it thumped erratically in her chest. Her breathing became rapid as the weight of her girlfriend in her arms became heavier as she sunk to the floor._

_“C-Costia?” Lexa whispered, struggling to find her voice. There was no response, not even a stir. Lexa stared down, her shaky hands moving to cradle Costia in her arms._

_“P-please don’t do this” Lexa begged curling Costias’ small frame into her body. Laying her forehead in the crook of her girlfriends neck and shoulder - rocking slowly._

_“I’m s-sorry” Lexa finally let the tears fall freely, unable to control herself as the pain took over her body in waves._

_“I’m so sorry…”_

_“Lexa, wake up…” The brunette looked up suddenly. Blurry, red rimmed eyes frantically searching her surroundings for the cause of the voice._

_“Wake up…” The voice sounded closer, but seemed to echo around the room making it hard to determine which direction it was coming from. Lexa seemed to recognize the voice, she just couldn’t place a name while still cradling her dead girlfriend. Glancing back down at the body in her arms Lexa felt her stomach drop. No longer was she holding the bloody body of Costia. The body she held in her arms now had fair skin where it once was tan. The bloody matted hair wasn’t short and dark but now long and blonde. Lexa could feel her body start to tremble as she lifted her shaking hand to move a strand of blonde hair covering the face from view._

_The brunette felt the scream escape her lips before she processed what was in front of her. The once ocean blue eyes were now cold and white, all the life and beauty drained from them. Her face almost unrecognizable except for the small beauty mark that still remained above her lip._

_Clarke._

_Clarke’s lifeless body. Dead, bloody and beaten._

_Dead._

“Lexa!” 

Lexa jolted awake, a cold sweat covering her body. Her eyes took a second to adjust but as the dark room came into view a silhouette of a person hovering did as well. Instinctively Lexa reached for the dagger she keeps next to her at all times and had it biting into the intruders neck in seconds.

“Hey it’s okay, it’s just me” A soft familiar voice filled her ears, her heart began hammering in her chest. Lexa thought she could still be dreaming.

“Clarke?” She asked, letting up on the pressure of the blade slightly. Her mind was still a little groggy from sleep and she couldn’t trust her own ears.

“Yeah, it’s me…” Lexa could feel soft fingers wrap around the hand holding the blade. Recognition instantly hit her and she released her dagger letting it clatter to the floor, using both hands to wipe the sleep from her eyes so she could see for herself. Clarke must have understood because she moved over to a candle, lighting it before coming to sit next to Lexa on the floor. 

“I’m sorry if I scared you. You seemed to be having a pretty bad dream and I was just trying to coax you out of it” Clarke finished her thought sitting directly across from Lexa, pulling her legs underneath her. Lexa just sat there silent for a minute trying to grasp her reality from her dreams. Yet, there was one thought that kept running through her mind and she needed to voice it.

“You’re back” Lexa said, choosing to ignore the rest of Clarke’s explanation. Clarke smiled softly, breaking eye contact with Lexa to look at the floor, playing with the laces of her boots.

“Yeah I’m really sorry about that. I wasn’t really gone, I just needed some space” Clarke said, still refusing to look at the two green abysses in front of her. The silence seemed to last longer this time.

“Explain” Lexa said, not really in the mood to play games. She knew the loss devastated the blonde. She also knew that the way she was raised to deal with death and loss was different than the rest of the world. But in a world like they were living in death was more common than life. So she didn’t really understand the blonde’s need to run. Especially in the middle of a raging storm.

Clarke took a deep breath, slowly inhaling and exhaling even slower. Her bottom lip curled into her teeth as she contemplated what to say next. The words came out in almost a whisper.

“I needed to know for sure.” Lexa looked up at the blonde, her brow furrowed in obvious confusion. 

“Needed to know what?”

“If they were really dead…”

“Clarke…”

“They’re alive” The room grew silent. “And I can prove it” Clarke finished, the silence growing within each passing second. The only noise that could be heard is the soft snores from Lincoln and Gustus by the front entrance. Then something occurred to the brunette that seemed to bother her. Choosing to push what Clarke said to the side for now, she voiced her concern.

“Wait, how did you get in?” Lexa asked, obviously concerned about the flaw in their shelter. Clarke didn’t seemed bothered by this though, simply shrugging leaning back on her hands.

“Doggy door” The blonde smiled, unable to keep it hidden. She had to admit she didn’t think of a way back in when she rudely left in the middle of a storm without telling anyone. But in her defense she wasn’t really thinking about anything except the explosion. Lexa laughed, a real loud throaty laugh. Head held back, chest rising and falling with each breath. The smile across the brunette’s face reached her eyes, making them shine brighter than Clarke has ever seen.

“You never cease to amaze me, Clarke” Lexa said, letting the ‘k’ click off her tongue in a way that made the blonde’s legs quake. Clarke smiled shyly back, seeming to find it harder by the second to keep eye contact with the brunette in front of her. Clearing her throat and shaking her head from the thoughts beginning to fester, she quickly stood, shaking the dirt from her pants.

“Okay so, um- you need to see something” Clarke said, reaching her hand out to help the brunette to her feet. Lexa sat for a few more seconds, unsure of how to continue until eventually accepting the offered hand and standing up. 

“What do I need to see?” Lexa asked as she strapped her armor and weapons back on and followed Clarke out the back door of the building, closing it behind her. Clarke walked over to a garbage pail and a few boxes against the side of the house, grabbing the handle of the pail and beginning to maneuver it towards the door. Making sure to keep any unwanted visitors from entering.

“I need to show you something back at the accident scene” Clarke said, walking over to one of the boxes and piling it in front of the door. Lexa was in the middle of walking her own box to the door when she stopped, searching the blonde’s eyes for any sort of answer. When she found none the brunette sighed, walking towards the door and piling the box on top of the other.

“Clarke listen…”

“No. You’re not about to ‘Clarke listen’ me okay? I’ve been at the accident scene all night. If there was nothing to find we wouldn’t be having this conversation” Clarke said placing the last box in front of the door, turning back to continue back around the house towards the main road. 

“Just…” Clarke sighed looking up into the sky and taking a deep breath “trust me okay?” She asked, not turning around to wait for an answer. Lexa sighed internally unsure of how to help the blonde through her grief. The only thing she can do is hear Clarke out. She subconsciously hoped that the blonde was right as she followed her back to the scene of the attack.

* * *

Clarke took down two walkers on the main road on the way to the van, one bullet to the head each. Lexa noticed the silencer on the pistol she held, it was the same gun that was strapped to Clarke’s thigh before the attack. She must have found it at some point last night.

As they reached the scene of the attack it was like a heavy blanket enveloped the area. The devastation and agony clear in the air as they walked closer to the van - the smoke and ash creating an eerie silence. There still seemed to be a few straggling rotters surrounding the two vehicles. Lexa unsheathed her sword and silently gestured to Clarke to split up.

Both girls having no trouble taking out the lingering dead as they made their way to the van. Lexa got to the vehicle first, not seeming to see the rotter coming around the side of the van. She heard a soft thud from behind her. Turning around she found the rotter at her feet, now with a dagger sticking out of the middle of it’s head. Glancing at Clarke she gave her a smile of thanks, removing the blonde’s dagger and passing it back. She couldn’t ignore the soft tingle on her skin as their fingers met. Green met blue again as she cleared her throat, gesturing to the van before speaking. 

“So what is it you needed to show me?” Lexa asked a little too rushed. If she were being honest with herself, she wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. Being back here made her feel small and afraid. She couldn’t admit this to anyone, but she had never felt more scared in her life then watching the van slowly become engulfed in flame. She was frozen in time, unable to move a muscle as she watched the flames build stronger despite the rain continuing its heavy decent from the sky. Then before she knew it she saw a flash of blonde move in front of her and head for the van and something inside the brunette snapped. Moving wasn’t even a question or an impossibility any longer. It was pure instinct that drove her forward towards the anguished blonde. A guttural feeling that pushed her arms forward wrapping them around Clarke’s waste. Hearing the screams and hidden despair escaping the small girl in her arms tore her apart. The only thing that mattered at that moment was getting Clarke to safety. 

Nothing else mattered. 

That’s when she realized the blonde scared her more than anything. Because being in her presence made Lexa feel things she didn’t think would ever be possible again. When Clarke left suddenly with no word, something in Lexa ached. Something inside of her was being pulled in the direction of the fleeing blonde, but her duty to her people kept her still. Now here she was, without her guard and being pulled by the blonde to the one place she never wanted to return to. She internally laughed at her own foolishness. 

At this point, she didn’t even have a clue as to what she was doing.

“Lexa?” Clarke’s voice broke Lexa out of her revere. Shaking her head she blinked the memory from her vision and looked at the blonde in front of her. Smiling shyly Lexa cleared her throat before speaking.

“My apologies Clarke, I seemed to have been lost in thought. What were you saying?” Lexa asked, trying her best to keep her voice from breaking. She was embarrassed, of course, but the way Clarke was looking at her now, made the chagrin worth it. One eyebrow was raised questioningly, her once sky blue eyes were now dark, a hint of mischievousness in them. When she spoke next though, it was like Lexa’s eyes had been lying to her. But she knew what she saw.

“I was just saying to come around back-” Clarke quickly grabbed Lexa’s hand pulling her towards the back of the van. She could feel the heat coming off the blonde’s hand, her own skin burned deliciously with the contact. 

Rounding the corner they stood in front of two propped open trunk doors. Both being held open by wooden planks on either side - put there by Clarke. Lexa felt her breath catch as she peered into the black abyss that once held her friends. Slowly she walked towards the van, lifting her hand to softly graze the interior. Needing to feel the soot and material beneath her fingers. Clarke seemed to remain quiet for sometime, having realized Lexa needed this moment to herself. It was only minutes later when Lexa finally spoke up, breaking the somber silence.

“You say you think they are still alive?” Lexa asked, backing away from the van and turning to face Clarke. Her once bright green eyes were now dark and brimming with tears the brunette would not let fall. 

“How could they possibly be alive after this?” Lexa demanded to know what the blondes thoughts were, not meaning for her question to come out so harsh. She went over the explosion in her head over and over again before eventually succumbing to sleep. There was no escape route she could think of. Nothing that could suggest they were alive.

“I know” Clarke’s voice was barely above a whisper as she answered. “I know it seems impossible-” Clarke started but was quickly cut off.

“It is impossible. The entire van exploded with them in it!” Lexa walked a few steps forward, not meaning to raise her voice but she was quickly becoming overwhelmed by everything around her. 

“Breathe Lexa-” Clarke said, walking a few steps closer to the brunette closing the distance between them. They weren’t close enough to touch, but enough to feel the warmth flowing from each others bodies. Clarke took a deep breath and quickly grabbed both of Lexa’s hands, holding them between them. After Lexa’s breathing slowed back down to normal, Clarke spoke. Her voice sounding much smaller than usual.

“Look down Lexa…” The brunettes brows furrowed in confusion but as she looked at Clarke she saw a calm cascading over the blonde. A calm so strong it made Lexa not want to question her demand, but just oblige.

Clarke watched as Lexa’s green eyes left her and looked down at the ground between them. Right there in the middle of them on the concrete were three small streaks of blood. Lexa knelt down running her hand over the markings, coming up to look at the soft blood spots now on her fingers.

“It’s fresh” Lexa said looking back at the other girl. Clarke was nodding her head in agreement and pulling Lexa to her feet quickly.

“Yes! Now come over here and just follow the path with your eyes” Clarke said grabbing Lexa’s hand again and dragging her towards the brush on the other side of the van - the side the enhanced rotters initially had come from. Lexa did what she was told and kept her eyes on the ground. Clarke noticed her green eyes light up every time she came across the same markings painted on the ground with blood. When Clarke neared the foliage she lead Lexa to a large tree just inside of the treeline. The markings seemed to be leading them in that direction. Clarke reached out running her fingers over the words carved into the large bark. Looking back at Lexa she backed away so the brunette could see for herself.

_Oso gonplei nou ste odon._

“I’m not sure what it means, but I’m thinking you would” Clarke said, watching as Lexa neared the tree running her fingers over the carvings in the bark.

“Our fight isn’t over” Lexa’s answer came out as a whisper but Clarke could hear it clear as day. Her heartbeat picked up as the realization that her friends were still alive was possible. She knew they were alive, and this just proved it to her.

“You okay?” She asked Lexa who was still running her fingers over the carving. She seemed to be contemplating something, formulating some plan in her head before turning to look at the blonde. As blue connected with green a determination shined through the brunettes eyes. The forest behind her doing nothing to stand up against the emerald of her eyes.

“Thank you Clarke” The words weren’t the answer Clarke was expecting, but she smiled despite herself and before she could think about what she was doing her arms were wrapped around Lexa’s neck pulling her into a hug. When it dawned on her what she had done she began to pull away until warm hands fell around her waist pulling her closer. Clarke fell into the brunettes arms, her own arms tightening their hold. She closed her eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of jasmine and pine she’s come to grow fond of.

“They’re alive…” She whispered aloud to no one in particular. She felt Lexa nod her head and tighten her hold on her waist, seeming to be taking in the new discovery with as much gratitude as the blonde.

* * *

Both girls stood in each others arms for a little longer before reluctantly pulling apart. Lexa was the first to break the silence between them, clearing her throat before speaking.

“We need to get back to the others and let them know about all of this” Lexa said, her eyes flicking all over Clarke’s face, having now just noticed the dark circles under her eyes. “You didn’t sleep at all last night did you?” The concern in Lexa’s voice took Clarke by surprise but she made sure to keep it from her face. She knew there was something going on between them both, but now was not the time to acknowledge those feelings.

“Never could sleep when there were thunderstorms” Clarke said shrugging and walking past Lexa, in the direction of the house. Lexa kept up pace beside her as the blonde continued to talk. “That’s why I had to leave last night. It was all becoming increasingly overwhelming and I needed to clear my head.”

“And coming back to the main source of your despair that day, in a thunderstorm, was the solution?” Lexa asked a little incredulously causing a giggle from Clarke. The brunette’s heart fluttered in her chest at the sound. Making a mental note to make sure to hear that melody again.

“Well no. That wasn’t the plan when I left. I- I didn’t really have a plan. I just needed to breathe and before I realized where I was going… Well you know” Clarke finished with a shy grin.

“How did you clear it out on your own?” Lexa asked, silently cursing herself for not asking that first. It was the most obvious question. When the group left the entire street was becoming overrun with the dead. The noise and fire attracting the dead from miles away.

“Well that did seem like a little bit of a problem initially, I wont lie” Clarke started, walking up to a straggling rotter and ramming her blade through it’s temple. Pulling the blade out of its head and wiping it on her pant leg, she turned back to Lexa. 

“The only thing I could think of was to lure them out and towards a different direction. So I rummaged through a couple of these stores until I found some very loud fire crackers, and well-” Clarke flashed her a wide smile “They ended up at the bottom of a cliff a few miles south” Lexa stopped suddenly at Clarke’s answer a smile forming on her lips as well.

“What?” Lexa asked, a chuckle escaping her throat at the thought. Clarke just laughed and shrugged her shoulders continuing back towards the house. Lexa stood there for a second watching the blonde walk away. The brunette shook her head as she eventually made to follow.

Clarke will continue to surprise and astound Lexa at every turn.

* * *

When they got back to the house both Gustus and Lincoln were outside, waiting for their return. When they saw them walking up, both men stood immediately to attention. Gustus was the first to speak.

“Heda, I’m glad you’re alright. You left with no word.” His voice came out harsher than he intended and he internally chastised himself. He just couldn’t help but voice his concerns. Lexa seemed not to be bothered by his tone, having expected a bigger reaction.

“Yes, I apologize to you both. As you can see Clarke has returned, and with crucial information” Lexa said, eyeing Clarke from the corner of her vision. The blonde seemed to notice it was her turn to speak, stepping up to address them both.

“I went back to the accident scene last night, and I found some evidence to suggest they are still alive… Heda has only proven my theories further” Clarke said, a small smile forming on her lips as she looked to Lexa. Both men looked at the women with apprehension. Clarke internally sighed because that was the same look Lexa gave her when she explained her theory before. Lexa seemed to notice Clarke’s deflation, putting her hand up to silence any negative comments from her men.

“Now listen I know it seems unlikely, and we could waste more time and go back and show you what we found… Or -” Lexa pauses for emphases looking between both her most trusted warriors. “You can just do your jobs and protect us while we get where we need to go” Lexa said, her voice no longer the voice of Lexa but of the Commander. Her mask firmly in place as she addresses her men. They both look between the two women before them, the silence seeming to go on a while before both men stood straight and nodded once. 

“Good, now they left a message that seemed to be in the direction they were headed” Clarke spoke up, stepping around both men and walking into the house where the map was still on the table. She had wasted enough time already, they needed to leave now. Lexa followed behind Clarke, looking over her shoulder at the map. Her toned arm reached out pointing at a part of the map, brushing against the blondes. Lexa cleared her throat, trying to ignore the soft buzz on her skin where the blonde touched.

“It was here” She says as Clarke marks the part of the map she was pointing at.

“Okay, well if they were headed in that direction, where could they be going?” The blonde asked now looking at Lexa. She trusted the brunette, and she knew she would have some kind of an idea. Lexa’s brow furrowed as she stared at the map. Her green eyes flickering from one mental path to another, trying to figure out where Anya would take them. She knew Anya left that message for her, she just had to think harder about where they could be headed. 

“Wait” Lexa said, pointing to a small clearing in the map. “I think I know where they went” Her voice was just above a whisper, but Clarke heard her clearly. Turning to face the Commander, Clarke took a deep breath.

“Where?” Clarke asked, her hand coming out to grip the table for support she didn’t realize she needed. The lack of sleep was really starting to affect her. Lexa’s eyes bore into hers as a wide smile formed on her lips.

“The Trikru trading post”

* * *

After a lot of arguing Lexa finally got Clarke to agree to start their journey in the early afternoon. Using the late morning to catch up on some much needed sleep for the blonde. After a short nap and a small meal that they were able to scavenge, they set off on foot to the trading post.

It was a unanimous decision to stay off the main roads. Only taking the back roads keeps them off the mountains radar and having to deal with less rotters on the way. When the accident happened they were only a few miles off from the trading post - having decided originally to stop there when the storm hit - so they should arrive by nightfall if all goes according to plan.

Silence filled the group the first few hours, Clarke and Lexa leading the front and Gustus and Lincoln a few feet behind them. Every few minutes Lexa would catch a set of blue eyes glancing in her direction, she smiled each time. Finally the brunette could take the silence no longer, clearing her voice and eyeing the blonde.

“So thunderstorms are your weakness? You kill rotters everyday and yet a thunderstorm will keep you awake at night?” Lexa asked, a hint of humor in her voice. Clarke’s mouth dropped open in surprise as she slowed down a little to look at Lexa. She couldn’t help the scoff that left her lips as she eyed the brunette.

“Wait, was that a tease? Did the Commander just pick on me?” Clarke said through choked out laughs. Lexa simply smiled in return, her eyes roaming over the blonde before she spoke.

“You didn’t answer the question Clarke” The brunette returned, her smile growing as she tries her best to hide it. Clarke huffed and rolled her eyes, a glint of humor in her eyes.

“I don’t know really, I’ve been afraid of storms since I was a kid…” Clarke’s brow furrowed as she thought about her answer. She never really questioned why she feared storms before, it was just always a fear she dealt with. Lexa nodded seeming to think about it herself. When she spoke next her voice was much quieter then before, only for the blonde to hear.

“I still have a fear that I’ve had since I was a child…” Lexa’s voice was small as she looked at the blonde, blue eyes connecting with green. “The fear of confinement…” Clarke looks at Lexa, all she sees is a raw truth. She’s sharing herself with Clarke, and the blonde couldn’t ignore the butterflies now fluttering around in her stomach.

“You’re claustrophobic?” Lexa nodded her answer. “Well at least that’s a normal fear compared to thunderstorms” Clarke scoffed trying to lighten up the conversation. When Lexa looked at her again there was a glint of sadness in her eyes.

“No fear is more or less than the other. They all inflict the same amount of panic and foreboding in people as the next.” Lexa said, her eyes now focused on the path in front of them. They were currently walking through a few backyards that connected to a side road leading them to the trading post. Clarke nodded, staying silent as they neared a fence. Gustus and Lincoln both helped Clarke over the fence first. Putting their fingers together and hoisting up each foot as she climbed over. When she landed on the other side she heard a deep growl come from a small garden shed at the back of the lawn. Looking back at the fence and back to the shed, Clarke bit her lip and moved closer, her curiosity getting the best of her.

The growling only grew as she neared the shed. Her curious nature took hold of her as she reached out, opening the shed door quickly. She was instantly thrown back as multiple bodies fell on top of her. Her screams were muffled as she fell to the floor, body after body covering her. She could hear the growls of a few rotters now walking out of the back of the shed. She heard their feral screams grow louder as they seemed to advance in her direction. She struggled against the weight on top of her, desperately trying to move her arms so she can at least grip a weapon. 

“Where is she?!” Lexa’s voice came out muffled, but it didn’t stop Clarke from hearing the concern laced through each word. She took as deep of a breath as she could - the weight now beginning to crush her lungs - and used all her strength to move every muscle in her body.

“H-here! Lexa!” She managed to choke out two words. Her voice barely breaking through the barrier of flesh that surrounded her. Thankfully someone must have heard because a minute later a sheen of light was peeking through as the bodies were lifted. The second Clarke was able to get some room to move she scrambled as fast as she could to get away from the mass of bodies. She didn’t notice the arms that helped her up and away. She didn’t register herself clutching desperately at Lexa’s shirt, trying to breathe in as much of the older girl as she could. Lexa gave her a few minutes, running soothing hands over her back before she felt the blonde’s breathing go back to normal. She leaned down, her lips inches from her ear.

“You’re okay Clarke, you’re safe” Clarke closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Lexa, not caring at the moment whose watching.

“I understand now…” Clarke said after a few minutes, her voice coming out soft and shaky. Lexa pulled back slightly so she can look into her eyes. 

“Understand what?”

“The fear of confinement” Clarke said biting her lip against a smile. Lexa laughed out loud and pulled her in for another hug, not yet ready to let go.

“Yes, I guess you do” Lexa said, letting herself have this small moment. Just her and the blonde in her arms. She doesn’t know what this means, or if it means anything at all. But if having this small moment, this little amount of time to hold Clarke in her arms - like that’s all that mattered in her world - was what she needed, then so be it.

She’d cherish this moment.


	11. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get to the trading post.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it's finally happening! I finally wrote my first ever try at smut and I think I did pretty well. I know some people aren't into that kind of thing, so I put a warning before and after all the sexy scenes so you can easily skip over it if you want. Anyway, be gentle. Like I said it's my first attempt, in time comes practice so hopefully it's a learning experience for me. Thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoy!

They arrived at the trading post a few hours later, just as the sun was setting. As they approached the gates the guards on duty instantly had their weapons trained on them. Lexa raised her hands in the air, signaling for the other three to stop as she stepped closer.

“Hod op!” Lexa addresses them in their native language, holding her hands up to the guards, signaling she wasn’t a threat. “Ai laik Heda!” Instantly the guns went down as one of the men scrambled to open the gate for their Commander. Lexa looked back to the others and nodded as she moved forward into the trading post grounds. 

As the gates closed behind them a woman walked out of the only building on the grounds. Clarke felt her breath get caught in her throat as she recognized the familiar slender body she remembered so clearly walking towards them. Clarke kept her eyes down, instantly self conscious as she watched the Commander speak to the woman she almost slept with. The conversation was light, Lexa filling Niylah in on the attack and the connection to Mount Weather. Clarke stood behind Lexa for the most part, trying to keep out of Niylah’s line of sight but _that_ unfortunately didn’t last.

“Clarke?” Niylah’s soft voice floated in her direction as she noticed the familiar blonde trying to avoid her. Clarke smiled politely after being acknowledged, trying to ignore Lexa’s questioning look.

“Hello Niylah” Clarke said smiling at the familiar blonde. She stepped around Lexa as Niylah came in for a hug. Clarke can feel Lexa’s body tense up as she reciprocated the hug.

“It’s so good to see you again Clarke” Niylah whispered in her ear before pulling away with a smile. Clarke could feel the blood rush to her cheeks as she tried desperately to keep her eyes off of the quiet brunette beside her.

“It’s good to see you too Niylah” Clarke returned the sentiment, taking the chance to look at the Commander next to her. Lexa’s eyes roamed between the two blonde’s, her brow creasing as she tried to think of the connection. Clarke noticed Lexa was about to ask how they knew each other when she quickly cut her off before that particular conversation can unfold.

“Have any injured arrived here in the last day?” Clarke asked quickly, trying to stay focused on the reason they came here in the first place. Niylah’s eyes flickered between Clarke and Lexa before settling back on the blonde, nodding in confirmation.

“Yes, early this morning actually, this way…” Niylah said, gesturing for them to follow her as she entered the building she walked out of earlier. She continued to fill them in as they walked the halls.

“When they arrived, General Anya was severely injured. Her body barely able to hold her weight. Luckily they had a trained healer with them or I don’t think she would have survived the night” Niylah said coming to a door at the end of the hall, now addressing the Commander alone. “They are through this door, the others insisted on not leaving her. They only had minor cuts and scraps, besides the hunger and slight dehydration - they seemed well enough for me to allow this” She finished, receiving a nod from Lexa before opening the door and letting them enter. 

Clarke felt a hand grip her arm before she can walk in after the others. Turning she caught Niylah’s eyes boring into hers. 

“I know you have much catching up to do with your friends, but come find me when you’re done. I’m sure Heda doesn’t plan on leaving until morning” Niylah said, letting go of Clarke’s arm with a wink and walking away. Clarke leaned against the door frame, taking a deep breath. She couldn’t deny that the last time she had seen Niylah she regretted not finishing what they started. And her obvious attraction to the Commander was making it really hard for her to focus lately.

_Maybe releasing a little stress would help?_

“You okay Clarke?” A voice broke her out of her thoughts and when she opened her eyes she found forest greens watching her. 

Clarke nodded unable to find her voice, as she pushed away from the door frame and walked passed the Commander to the bed that lay Anya. 

Clarke quickly assessed Anya’s injuries for her own peace of mind. She seemed a little pale, but her breathing seemed even and overall she seemed to be doing okay. Clarke looked up to see three bodies curled up into various places in the small room. Nyko was laying on his back on the couch by the window, an arm swung over his eyes. Bellamy was curled up in a small metal chair next to the bed, a blanket covering his body. The blonde couldn’t keep the small chuckle from escaping as she looked at Murphy. The unruly boy was curled up in a fetal position at the end of Anya’s bed. His head was half off the mattress as he hugged Anya’s legs to his chest. 

Lexa bypassed the first three figures on her way to Nyko. Kneeling down she gently nudged his shoulder to wake him up. A soft grumble can be heard from the large man before his groggy sleep filled eyes opened and landed on his Commander. He immediately shot up from the couch, his sleep muddled brain running into overdrive.

“Commander! I apologize! We-” He was instantly cut off by a raise of Lexa’s hand. She instantly silenced him, standing up and putting both hands on his shoulders.

“There is absolutely nothing to apologize for Nyko. As far as I’m concerned you did the right thing. Taking care of General Anya until you could get to the nearest trading post was the right decision.” Nyko nodded as his Commanders words sunk in.

“It was all the Terminator over here” A groggy voice spoke up from the bed pointing to a sleeping Anya. Murphy still had his eyes closed but a small smile graced his lips as he continued. “Literally was bleeding to death yet still commanding the fuck outta us”

“Well if you didn’t act like a child, Beanie boy, I wouldn’t have had to yell so much…” A small smirk graced Anya’s lips as she opened her eyes, squinting at the light coming from the overhead lamp being run by the posts generators. Every outpost and trading post was equipped with a medical wing of some sort. And only medical can have use of the generators and limited fuel.

“Anya, you’re awake” Clarke spoke up for the first time.

“Hello to you too Blondie” Anya said, sitting up with a wince. Nyko was instantly by her side, helping her to sit up so she didn’t pull out her stitches. Lexa walked over to the bed and sat down, putting an arm on her mentors shoulder.

“How are you feeling Anya?” Lexa asked, the concern clear in her voice. She could care less at this moment about the others in the room.

“Honestly?” Anya asked with a smirk. Lexa nodded, wanting the truth.

_“Ron ai ridiyo op”_ (Speak true)

“Well… Like dog shit” Anya answered with a small smile. Lexa laughed, for the first time since witnessing the explosion did she feel the weight lift. The loss was no longer weighing her down. The relief in it’s place made her feel lighter and hopeful again.

“I’m glad you still have your sense of humor, _fos_” Lexa said between laughs. She wouldn’t admit this to anyone but Anya’s loss effected her more than she let on. She was like an older sister to her. Commander or not, Anya was the only person that treated her the same. She still spoke to Lexa like a petulant child when she was acting like one, she was always the first one to call Lexa out on her shit and set her straight. She was the brunette’s personal council and she didn’t like how lost she felt when she thought she was dead.

* * *

After waking up a very grumpy Bellamy both small groups were finally able to fill in the spaces of what happened. Anya filled Lexa in on everything that took place immediately after the van was flipped.

“And what about the explosion?” Clarke asked, becoming a little impatient. She couldn’t help the curiosity on how they escaped an exploding vehicle. Bellamy and Murphy shared a look before Anya cleared her throat.

“It was my idea” Anya said, holding her chin higher, she knew the reaction the blonde was going to have to her confession but she knew she couldn’t lie, especially to her Heda. “I wasn’t sure- I mean I didn’t have a- ugh!” Anya groaned, her palm going to her forehead. She’s never had trouble speaking, but admitting to Clarke that she had every intention to kill herself and everyone else in the proximity of the van, was harder than she thought. Luckily Lexa seemed to understand what she was getting at and beat her to it.

“You weren’t planning on making it out” It wasn’t phrased as a question, because Lexa already knew before she even spoke. She knew it the day she watched the flames engulf the van. Anya meant to sacrifice all of them to destroy as much of the horde as she could. She saw no other alternative and figured if they were all going out, they would take a few rotters with them. Lexa had come to accept the fact that she would have done no different.

Anya kept her shoulders high and her chin raised as she nodded at Lexa, letting her know she spoke the truth. The silence that filled the room was uncomfortable to say the least. Anya already had this conversation with the three others in her small group. As much as Bellamy and Murphy hated the entire idea, they couldn’t disagree with her reasons. They were cornered on all sides, and if it weren’t for Murphy’s quick thinking, they all would have died that day. And despite it all they have all come to accept Anya’s decision, knowing they all would have done the same.

Being from the Tribes Lincoln, Gustus and Nyko all appreciated Anya’s choice. They all have come to accept death in all of their lives, believing death was more of a freedom in this life than a loss.

Clarke on the other hand, was a different story.

“Wait. What?” The small, fuming blonde broke the silence. Lexa closed her eyes and sighed knowing what was coming.

“Y-y-you just gave up?” Lexa could see the blonde’s eyes darken and she knew Clarke was seeing red. 

“You made the decision for _everyone_ that their life wasn’t worth fighting for!?” The blonde advanced to Anya’s side, her fists clenched at her sides. Bellamy tried to quickly calm the fuming blonde before things got out of hand.

“Whoa, easy there Clarke. She told us everything and we all understa-” He was quickly silenced by a raise of Clarke’s hand.

“How did you get out?” Clarke asked, addressing only Anya. The older blonde was not intimidated in the least by Clarke’s advance and anger. The corner of her lips twitched into a slight smirk, finding the tiny angry blonde fairly amusing in that moment.

“Beanie boy is a quick thinker” Anya answered, nodding towards Murphy still laying on the bottom of the bed, now using one arm to prop himself up. Clarke’s eyes flitted to him, her hands still clenched in fists at her sides. She looked at Murphy, one eyebrow raised in silent question. 

“I honestly don’t really know what happened. I watched her pull the pin on the grenade and knew I only had seconds to save my ass” Murphy answered with a shrug. “Luckily at that moment they broke through the front windshield, causing the ones trying to come through the back to advance to the front. I took the chance.”

“Yeah he didn’t say shit to anyone, just picked up a very angry Anya and kicked open the back door. Nyko and I just followed without question. Two seconds after reaching the treeline the explosion went off.” Bellamy finished for him, walking around the bed to stand behind Clarke.

Clarke just stood there in angry silence eyes flickering around at the faces in the room. She knew logically she was being crazy. She didn’t know what it was like to be in a situation like that. Hell, she might have made the exact same decision as Anya had. She’d like to hold on to the hope that she wouldn’t though, and coming to the conclusion that she just might is too much for her to deal with right now. She ran her hand through her hair, sighing in frustration.

“I need some air”

“Clarke wait” Clarke stopped at the sound of Lexa’s voice but didn’t turn around. She couldn’t look at the green eyes that seem to melt her. She knew if she did, Lexa would convince her to stay and all she wanted to do was leave. She knew she was being stubborn and childish but it was all just becoming overwhelming.

“I-I just need some time to think Lexa. I promise I wont leave the posts perimeters.” Was the last thing she said before she walked out, leaving a very concerned Commander behind.

* * *

Clarke had no idea where she was going she just needed to walk. The movement and fresh air was the only thing she knew of to calm herself down and get her to think rationally again. She knew she was being immature by just walking away and if she wasn’t still really angry, she’d be more embarrassed for acting that way in front of Lexa.

Her feet ended up bringing her to the back of the trading post fence. She had to admit the place was a lot smaller than Trikru. But she assumed it had to be considering it was only a trade location from one outpost to the next. She leaned against the metal fence peering out into the distance. Taking a few deep breaths she could finally feel the angry buzz start to fade away. 

She froze, her ears narrowing in on the familiar sound of a walker near by, turning her head to her left she noticed one coming out of the treeline and walking towards the fence. Gripping the dagger strapped to her thigh she walked over to the rotter.

“In peace may you leave the shore, in love may you find the next.” She whispered, walking closer to the rotter and grabbing the collar of it’s shirt through the metal fence, yanking causing the side of its body to smack against the fence. 

“Safe passage on your travels” She watched as it unhinged it’s jaw trying to bite through the fence to get to her. It’s eyes, a pale white, no more color or emotion. Just a white void of death, it’s new life a constant hunger that can never be satisfied.

“Until our final journey to the ground” she whispered as she shoved her blade through the fence. The slight pop of it’s eye as her dagger pierced it was the only thing that can be heard as it’s growls faded out. The body went limp under her grip.

“May we meet again…” She finished as she pulled out her dagger and let go of it’s shirt letting the body fall.

“You know we have people that take care of that sort of thing”

“Shit!” Clarke jumped, turning around quickly to see Niylah standing a few feet away looking at her with amusement. “Dammit Niylah! You scared the shit outta me!” The blonde cursed, her hand flying to her chest as she calmed down her breathing. Niylah chuckled, holding her hands up as she walked closer.

“I apologize, I just saw you walking this way looking rather angry and I wanted to check on you” Niylah said, now directly in front of Clarke. She hesitantly placed a hand on Clarke’s hip, pulling her closer so their bodies were flush. Niylah looked into her eyes as she gently tucked a loose blonde hair behind Clarke’s ear. 

“Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah I’m okay, just found out some things that took me by surprise is all. I’ve thought about it though and may have overreacted” Clarke said, her face now a bright red from embarrassment and the close proximity to Niylah. 

“Well, we’re only human Clarke, we’re all bound to overreact from time to time” Niylah said. Clarke could see the other blonde’s eyes roam from her lips and back to her eyes. Clarke instinctively licked her lips as she noticed Niylah beginning to lean in. They both pulled back suddenly when they heard someone clear their throat from behind them. Clarke felt her heart begin to beat rapidly as she looked into familiar green eyes, now filled with what Clarke could only describe as sadness.

“My apologies, I didn’t realize someone already came to check on you” Lexa said softly, before her Commander mask was back on. “Anya is almost well enough to travel, so we should be leaving by late morning tomorrow. You should get some rest.” She said only looking at Clarke before she turned around and walked away.

“Lexa wait!” Clarke called, beginning to chase after her until she stopped and turned back to Niylah. “Listen I’m really sorry but I gotta-” Niylah raised her hand to silence her explanation. 

“No need Clarke, I understand” She said with a reassuring smile, nodding for Clarke to go after the Commander. Clarke nodded back in a silent thank you as she ran after Lexa, hoping to catch her before she went to far.

* * *

[INCOMING SEXY SCENE ;)]

“Lexa please slow down!” Clarke screamed after the brunette as she neared the building. She picked up her speed, trying desperately to reach Lexa so she could explain. 

She had finally reached the brunette putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Lexa turned around quickly, eyes boring into Clarke.

“Stop. Not here” Lexa warned, taking Clarke’s hand off her shoulder and leading them into the building. Lexa didn’t need to be told where to go. The Commander had a special room only for her in all the outposts and tradings posts on the reservation. She led them up three flights of stairs before coming to a door and leading the blonde inside.

When Clarke stepped through she noticed the large queen sized bed in the middle of the room. A small vanity, dresser, and two end tables took up the rest of the space. The room was littered with already lit candles, casting a soft glow around the small space. Clarke took a deep breath as Lexa passed her, taking off her jacket and beginning to loosen the braids in her hair. Clarke just stood there speechless, not really sure what to say. She wasn’t sure what even drove her to chase Lexa in the first place. She didn’t owe her any sort of explanation but in her heart she felt like she did. Lexa noticed her silence, and looked at her through the vanity mirror.

“Well Clarke? You had something you wanted to say?” The brunette seemed to be getting impatient and it seemed to snap Clarke out of her silence.

“W-what you saw between Niylah and I…” She trailed off, unsure on how to explain what Lexa had seen. “I-I mean, what you think you saw between us-”

“And what do you think I saw between you and _Niylah_?” Lexa asked, disdain dripping off her tongue at the mention of the other womans' name. Clarke swallowed, her palms beginning to become sweaty. The look in Lexa’s eyes was new, it was hunger and possession she saw in those dark greens. She clenched her thighs together as she felt the familiar heat stir in her core.

“I uh- Well I don’t know. I just don’t want you thinking anything is going on between us. I mean we’ve flirted a little and fooled around a bit but-” Clarke looked up then and saw Lexa’s jaw clench at the admission and realized how it must have sounded.

“Wait! No- ugh- not like that! We never had sex”

“And why would you care about what I think Clarke?” Lexa asked, standing up from the vanity and turning around to really look at the blonde. Clarke felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. She rubbed her palms on her pants to try and dry them, biting her lip to keep control under the brunette’s intense stare.

“I-I don’t know. I just thought-” Clarke stopped as she watched Lexa walk towards her. It wasn’t in the way she stared at Clarke that made her head spin but the way she moved towards her. Slowly, like she was hunting her prey. Her eyes slowly roaming over the blondes. Clarke’s stomach was fluttering wildly under the brunettes gaze and no matter what her head told her to do in that moment she chose to do the opposite.

“Oh fuck it!” Clarke said as she launched herself at Lexa, lips instantly connecting. This wasn’t a shy first kiss like it should have been. It wasn’t them being tentative and mapping out the others lips and mouth. No, this was a primal urgent kiss. The need the both of them felt outweighing any rational thoughts that they needed to slow down. 

Lexa instantly reciprocated, moaning lightly into the kiss as her hands reached out to grip Clarke’s hips tugging her closer. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck tangling her fingers in brunette curls. Their bodies were so close Clarke was sure Lexa could feel her heartbeat through the thin layer of clothes separating the two. When they broke the kiss it was only to take a breath and Lexa was tilting her head and leaning back in again. One of her hands wrapping around the base of Clarke neck and pulling her closer. The blonde’s hands gripped the collar of Lexa’s shirt trying to eliminate all distance. Clarke’s hands began to roam lower, trailing under the hem of Lexa’s shirt. Her finger tips traced the warm skin under the brunette’s navel and a soft gasp escaped Lexa’s lips. Clarke pulled back to look at the green eyes she’s come to love falling into. 

“May I?” Clarke asked, gripping the bottom of Lexa’s shirt asking for permission. The brunette nodded in answer and lifted her arms allowing the younger girl to remove her shirt, leaving only her black sports bra. Clarke dropped the shirt and gasped as she looked at the goddess in front of her. She reached out, her fingers gently gliding over perfectly chiseled abs. Even with the few scars Clarke can see covering the brunette’s skin she had never seen someone so absolutely _flawless_. 

“Wow” the word escaped Clarke’s lips before she could stop it, but for once she wasn’t mad at her brains reaction. Lexa smiled softly at Clarke’s response as she too gripped the bottom of Clarke’s shirt.

“May I?” Lexa asked, repeating the same question the blonde asked her, Clarke smiled and nodded, lifting her arms up so Lexa could easily remove her shirt. The only thing remaining on the upper half of her body was her black lace bra. Lexa took a moment to appreciate the gorgeous blonde in front of her, softly tracing the scar that now covered the blonde’s chest. Clarke gasped, a small moan escaping her lips and the feeling of Lexa’s hands on her. Clarke couldn’t take it any longer, knowing full well Lexa wants this as much as she did, made her patience thin. She grabbed the brunette’s hand that was tracing the scar on her chest and slowly led her to the bed, pushing her lightly to a sitting position.

Clarke smiled at the picture before her, making a mental note to remember every detail so she can draw it later. Lexa looked absolutely stunning in the candle light, and it took everything in Clarke not to just ravage the woman in front of her. She wanted to take this slow though, she needed to feel every inch of tanned skin beneath her fingers. She leaned forward to capture Lexa’s lips again, pushing her to lay on her back as she used her hands on either side of the brunette’s head to keep her up. She slowly traced Lexa’s bottom lip with her tongue asking for entrance which the older girl quickly gave.

It became a battle of dominance, Lexa quickly gaining the upper hand as she flipped Clarke over so she was now straddling the blonde. Clarke’s hands instantly went to the brunette’s hips, her nails digging deliciously into tanned skin as she forced Lexa to grind her center on top of her. Even with their pants still separating them, the pressure and stimulation they were granting each other had Clarke’s eyes rolling in the back of her head.

“Clarke look at me” Lexa’s voice brought her attention back as green met blue. She didn’t break her eye contact even as the brunette slowly stripped off her sports bra, throwing it to the floor. Clarke felt her mouth go dry as she stared at the most amazing pair of breasts she has ever seen. Yes, Clarke was slightly more endowed in the chest compared to the brunette but Clarke couldn’t care less. She looked back up at green eyes as her hands started roaming up Lexa’s stomach. She silently asked her question which Lexa eagerly nodded her answer. Clarke took no time to grip the supple breasts, squeezing gently as she used her other hand on the other. Running a thumb on the perked nipple. A loud moan escaped the brunette’s lips as she tilted her head back in pleasure, continuing the grinding motion. A soft growl can be heard low in Clarke’s chest as she found her strength and flipped Lexa back over so she was now in their original position.

She took no time unlatching her bra and throwing it across the room. Lexa moaned as the blonde stripped her bra, quickly sitting up and latching her mouth onto a hard pink nipple. Clarke moaned as she arched her back, arms wrapping around Lexa, fingers digging into her hair. Lexa’s mouth on her body was beyond what Clarke could even imagine. She still couldn’t believe she was in the position she was in but she was going to enjoy every second of it. Lexa’s hands trailed down her back until they came to the hem of Clarke’s pants. The brunette released her nipple with a soft ‘pop.’

“These off. Now.” Lexa panted as she looked at Clarke with a new determination that had Clarke’s knees shaking. She could feel herself dripping already, afraid of what her panties look like at this point. Clarke fumbled clumsily with the button of her pants until Lexa grew impatient. A growl escaped her lips as she put her hands under the blonde’s thighs and picked her up, positioning herself so when she laid Clarke back down her head was on the pillow and the older girl was between her legs. Lexa’s lips instantly attacked Clarke’s neck as she swatted the blonde’s hands away from her pants button and quickly made work of it and undoing it in less than a second. Still using one hand to unzip the zipper. She stood up so she was over Clarke and grabbed her pants with both hands looking at Clarke for confirmation. The second she received the nod of approval the blonde’s pants were ripped off her legs and thrown across the room. 

Lexa’s eyes darkened as she looked at the clear wet spot covering the blonde’s panties. Her hands gently roamed up her calves, to her thighs, enjoying the feeling of the blonde’s soft skin under her touch. Clarke wrapped her thighs around Lexa’s waste pulling her down on top of her. The blonde moaned as their lips connected again and she flipped Lexa back over so she was on top. Clarke gripped the button of Lexa’s pants.

“You’re wearing too much.” Clarke said, quickly unbuttoning the brunette’s pants and sliding them off her long slender legs. Clarke bit her lips as she lowered her head, making sure to kiss every inch of skin she could as she made her way to the hemline of her panties. She grazed the outline with her teeth, no longer feeling the need to ask permission (if the heat coming from between Lexa’s legs is anything to go by) she gripped the panties with her teeth and slowly slid them down Lexa’s legs. As she traced kisses up the perfect pair of legs she felt Lexa stiffen underneath her. Lifting her head she furrowed her brow in concern. She didn’t want to push the brunette too far.

“Are you alright?” Clarke asked softly, placing a gentle kiss on the brunette’s jawline. Lexa nodded as she placed both her hands on the side of the blonde’s face so she can look at her.

“I’ve never been better. I… I just want to feel you. All of you.” Lexa’s voice was barely a whisper but Clarke completely understood. Nodding before she pulled away and balanced on her knees looking at Lexa.

“You want them off, you need to take them off” Clarke said with a sly smirk. She was enjoying being able to stump the Commander. At least she knew she had the upper hand in the bedroom even if not in public. Lexa took no time to oblige, attacking the blonde instantly, her lips latching onto a hardened nipple as Lexa’s fingers roamed under the hem of Clarke’s panties. Without thinking about anything besides her primal need to have the blonde writhing beneath her, she ripped the panties clean off the blonde, a loud tearing noise can be heard as the fabric was removed. Clarke gasped at the force as she felt another wave of heat run to her core. 

Lexa attached their lips together again as she guided Clarke to lay down. Nipping the blonde’s jaw and neck as her hands began to roam lower. Clarke’s back arched as she felt Lexa’s fingers sliding up the inside of her thigh, she spread her legs wider as the feral need to be fucked took control. Lexa licked her lips as she slowly glided two fingers through the blonde’s slick folds. They both groaned at the feeling as Lexa’s mouth latched onto Clarke’s neck, nipping and sucking lightly at her pulse point. Clarke’s arms wrapped around Lexa’s neck as her hips began to buck under the brunette. Lexa detached herself from Clarke’s neck and smiled down at the blonde.

“Someone’s eager” Lexa said, running her tongue lightly over Clarke’s bottom lip, causing the blonde to shutter beneath her.

“Yes Lexa, I want this, I need this. _Please_” Clarke said, not really sure why she felt the need to beg but knew if she didn’t get some kind of release soon she’d end up tackling the brunette. Lexa smiled at her softly as her eyes grew even darker with desire. She lowered her head to Clarke’s ear, nipping lightly at the lobe before speaking.

“I have something I’ve had a desire to do since I first laid my eyes on you” Lexa whispered in her ear as one of her hands came up to lightly pinch a pink nipple causing a whine to escape Clarke’s throat.

“May I taste you?” Lexa asked and Clarke groaned feeling her herself grow wetter at every word. Clarke couldn’t find her voice through the pleasure haze so she just nodded eagerly. Lexa chuckled as she nipped Clarke’s neck, kissing her way down the blonde’s beautiful body. As she lowered herself between pale legs she could already smell the sweet musky scent coming from the blonde’s core. She licked her lips in anticipation as she slowly spread the blonde’s legs more. She could barely take the suspense as she dived into the delicious heat, a groan escaping her throat as the sweet liquid hit her tongue. Clarke let out a loud moan as she arched her back for more of that amazing friction. Lexa slid her tongue from Clarke’s opening to her clit, making sure to pay attention to the stiffening bud before plunging into the blonde again. Lexa kept up this pattern having to use her hands on Clarke’s hips to hold the blonde down. If the clenching of Clarke’s pussy around her tongue and the wanton noises escaping the blonde was anything to go by, Lexa knew she was close.

“Oh my- Ah! Oh fuck! Yes Lexa, right there!” Clarke couldn’t hold it in any longer as her entire body began to shudder under the brunette. She knew she was close, her body felt like it was on fire, a flame that started from her core and traveled down her legs and up her back. She can feel herself reaching the point of no return, and even though she didn’t want this feeling to end she needed to cum. 

“Fuck, Lexa! I need more! Please!” Clarke moaned out. What she needed she didn’t know but the brunette seemed to understand completely as she removed a hand from Clarke’s hip and inserted two fingers into the blonde. Clarke moaned at the feeling of the brunette inside of her, unable to keep from moving her hips to drive the brunette deeper into her. All that could be heard was the gasps and moans leaving Clarke’s lips and the slapping sound of skin on skin. Lexa stopped her tongues movements to the blondes disappointment as green connected with blue.

“Cum for me Clarke. Let go, I’ve got you” Those seemed to be the only words Clarke needed because the second Lexa’s tongue was back on her clit, the blonde lost all control. 

“Oh fuck right there! Yes Lexa!” The brunette’s name was all she could chant as her back arched and her eyes rolled in the back of her head. She could swear she seen actual fireworks go off. Her nails digging furiously in the blankets beneath her and the thick locks of brunette hair between her legs. As her orgasm tapered off Lexa continued to thrust her fingers helping to coax the blonde back down. When she removed her fingers she licked them clean, and brought her head back down to lick the remaining slick from Clarke’s pussy until the blonde pushed her away from over sensitivity. Lexa smiled to herself as she left a trail of kisses slowly up the blondes body.

“Enough teasing and get up here” Clarke said pulling Lexa back up and attaching their lips. Clarke moaned into the kiss, enjoying the taste of herself on Lexa’s tongue before she flipped them again, pushing her thigh between the brunette’s legs. A soft gasp escaped the Lexa’s lips.

“Now I believe it’s your turn Commander” Lexa moaned at the way Clarke used her title. She moved her hips further into Clarke’s thigh, trying to create as much friction as she can. Clarke lowered herself as she ran her tongue up Lexa’s neck and nipped just under her ear, causing a shudder to flow through the brunette’s body.

“I have to admit _Commander_, there’s something I’ve wanted to do to _you_ since I first laid my eyes on you…” Clarke said, trailing off as she kissed her way down her chest, running a tongue over a perky nipple.

“A-anything you want” Lexa said, finding it increasingly more difficult to speak. Clarke stopped what she was doing and leaned back so she could look into the brunette’s eyes.

“Do you trust me?” Clarke asked softly, and if it were anyone else asking this question Lexa would say that it was a loaded topic. Trust was something she didn’t give out easily and had a hard time keeping it when given. But as she looked into the sky blue eyes that always draw out her truths, she found the answer leave her mouth without any hesitation.

“Yes…” Clarke smiled at the older girl beneath her, unable to fathom how they got here but unable to regret it in the moment. Not when she had the girls complete trust to do what she wants with her. Clarke internally trembled at the thought, a new wave of heat flowing from her core. She took the brunette’s hand and guided her to sit up as Clarke laid back down. The blonde didn’t let go of the eye contact they shared as the blonde motioned for Lexa to sit on her face. The brunettes eyes went wide in shock, unsure of how to proceed. 

“I-uh…” Lexa felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment as she looked away from the blonde. “I’ve never done that before.” Her voice came out as just a whisper but Clarke seemed to hear her. Clarke smiled reassuringly at her as she grabbed her hand, running her lips over the brunettes palm before leaving a light kiss.

“I understand if you’re uncomfortable Lexa, and we don’t have to do it. I just want to make you feel as good as you made me feel, and-” Clarke paused as a blush covered her cheeks as well “Well I wasn’t lying to you when I said it’s something I’ve thought about…” Lexa felt her heart pick up as she felt her anxiety dissipate. She wasn’t lying either, when she said she trusted Clarke. So she nodded once, letting Clarke guide her forward. She placed both legs on either side of Clarke’s head and gripped the headboard for support per the blondes instructions, letting Clarke grip her hips and guide her core to her awaiting mouth. 

Clarke wasn’t as impatient as Lexa was, deciding to take her time. Lexa moaned softly as she felt Clarke blow lightly on her pussy. She can feel the air causing her to throb, her clit instantly hardening under the blondes light breath. Lexa let out an audible gasp when she felt the blondes tongue lightly trace over her slit, circling her tongue lightly on her clit before gliding back down to her opening. Clarke kept up these light touches with her tongue, enjoying the feeling of the Commander coming undone on top of her. She wanted to completely unravel the brunette. By the end of this she no longer wanted to be looking at the Commander but at Lexa herself. She will make the girl let go and enjoy the feeling of being human, even if just for a little while. 

Lexa felt like she was gonna scream, her moans had become more erratic as her hips started grinding down on Clarke’s face trying to add more pressure. She knew the blonde was doing this on purpose, trying to unravel her piece by piece, and Lexa couldn’t honestly get enough. Her legs started trembling above the girl as her knuckles turned white against the head board. Her teeth were digging into her lip trying to keep the noises at bay. Clarke had officially had enough and plunged two fingers into the brunette with no warning.

That did it.

“Oh Jok! Yes! You feel so fucking good!” Lexa screamed, giving up entirely on trying to keep quiet. Clarke was hitting places inside her at this angle she didn’t even know existed. She could feel her orgasm approaching as the blonde began pounding into her, running her tongue in circles on the brunette’s clit. 

Clarke knew Lexa was close, she can feel the brunette’s walls begin to constrict around her fingers and knew just the thing to push her lover over the edge. She slid a third finger inside her tight entrance and curled her fingers just right to hit the sweet spot on the brunette’s front wall. Lexa lost all control as her orgasm took hold of her entire body. If it wasn’t for the blonde’s arm wrapped around one of her legs she was sure she would have collapsed. The only word that could escape her lips was the blonde’s name as her legs trembled around a crown of blonde hair. Clarke slowly coaxed Lexa back down from her high, pulling her fingers out slowly. Lexa sat there catching her breath, resting her forehead on the headboard as she stared down at the blonde beneath her. Clarke stared right back as she brought her three fingers up to her mouth and slowly licked them clean.

Lexa moaned at the sight, her legs trembling as Clarke guided her back to a laying position beside her. The brunette laid her head on the blondes chest as Clarke’s fingers played with her hair. She hadn’t realized she was drifting off to sleep until she felt soft lips on her forehead.

“Good night Lexa” The brunette pulled Clarke closer as she drifted off into the most relaxed sleep she’s had in years, listening to the steady rhythm of the blondes heartbeat.

[END OF SEXY SCENE ;)]

* * *

Clarke woke up the next day in a bed unfamiliar to her. She stretched, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she sat up leaning on her elbow to look around the room. As her sleep fogged brain began to clear the memories of last night came flooding back. Clarke looked down and noticed the thin sheet now draped over her naked form. Lexa must have covered her when she woke up. Thinking about the brunette, Clarke’s heart began thumping wildly as all the implications of what she did last night began to overwhelm her. 

She hadn’t even received a direct answer if her and her group would be accepted into Trikru or one of the other clans. She hadn’t even come close to figuring out how to get Finn out of the shit storm he made for himself. Not to mention she just slept with the freaking Commander of the twelve Clans. Clarke groaned as she threw herself back on the bed, draping her arm over her eyes.

“I’m so fucked” She mumbled to herself, unaware of the other person that just entered the room.

“Looks like you already did that” Anya’s voice shook Clarke from her self pity as she jolted up, grabbing the sheet frantically to try and hide as much of her skin from Anya’s prying eyes as she could. The other blonde just walked closer, leaning against the bedpost at the end of the bed.

“I honestly came here to speak with the Commander. This though-” Anya said motioning to a naked Clarke in Heda’s bed “Was the last thing I expected to find” She finished a smirk gracing her lips as Clarke stood up from the bed trying to find her clothes.

“Oh wow that’s interesting. It’s not just your face that gets red when you’re embarrassed” Anya said as Clarke’s entire behind was now on full display to the older girl. Anya could no longer contain her laughter as Clarke turned her head and noticed the sheet doing little to cover Anya’s view of her ass and quickly turned around trying to cover up as much as she could, now fully glaring at the older girl.

“If you have had enough, you could leave now and let me get dressed!” Clarke yelled, becoming increasingly more mortified the longer Anya stood watching her. Anya just shook her head and doubled over in laughter unable to keep it in any longer.

“Oh- oh man Clarke. You can’t do this to me, I’ll pull out my stitches” Anya said between laughs. Clarke just stood there her mouth open in utter surprise. She had to be honest it was refreshing to see the stoic Anya able to laugh so hard, but she didn’t appreciate that it was at her expense. The older girl was laughing so hard she didn’t hear the other person enter the room. Clarke looked at Lexa pleadingly in the eyes and the brunette instantly knew what was happening.

“Daun ste pleni!” (That is enough!) Lexa’s voice came out harsh and demanding, Clarke can see the brunette’s hands clenching at her sides. 

She was trying to maintain control.

Anya’s laughing instantly ceased as she turned to face Lexa, realizing the tone of her Commanders voice.

“What is the meaning of this Anya?” Lexa said crossing the room to stand in front of Clarke, blocking her view of the naked blonde.

“My apologies Heda, I came to speak to you about the vehicle you wish to take us the rest of the way. I was not expecting to see… Clarke in your bed.” Anya explained, trying to keep the smile off her lips. Lexa was never intimidating to the older girl, but she knew when to choose her battles.

“Yes I would understand you being surprised to find another in my bed” Lexa said calmly as she walked closer to Anya, her hands now firmly behind her back. “But my question is about why you deemed it necessary to remain in the room and then - to add salt to the wound - you proceed to humiliate an already vulnerable woman?” The commander asked coming face to face with Anya, Clarke watched as Lexa’s body was trembling with barely controlled anger. 

Anya looked back at Clarke and then to the Commander. She bowed her head once, as she looked to Lexa again. 

“You are right Heda, that was completely inappropriate of me” She looked over Lexa’s shoulder to make eye contact with the younger blonde. “My deepest apologies Clarke”

“It’s fine Anya, just leave please” Clarke said, not keeping how uncomfortable she felt from her voice. She pulled the sheet tighter to her body, feeling like she was being exposed to the world.

Anya nodded once at Clarke and then looked back to Lexa. She leaned in making sure the young brunette was the only one that could hear. “This isn’t over Lexa, you have a lot of explaining to do” She said as she winked at her and walked out of the room, leaving the two younger girls alone.

Silence filled the space as Lexa stared at the closed door for a minute before sighing and shaking her head, turning back to Clarke. Her heart fell instantly at the look on the blonde’s face.

“I’m so sorry about that Clarke. I had a guard posted outside of the door after I left so you were not to be disturbed. I had forgotten about Anya’s influence with the guards.” Lexa said, walking over to the blonde and taking her face in her hands to look in her eyes.

“Are you alright?” She asked, the concern clear in her voice. Clarke couldn’t help but lean into her touch, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Yeah I’m fine, it was just a lot to wake up to” Clarke said, letting the weight of her words float between them. Lexa sighed, knowing she wasn’t just talking about Anya walking in on her.

“We will figure this out Clarke, all of it, okay?” Lexa said, lifting her chin so the blonde would look at her. “One day at a time, one problem at a time… Together.” Clarke nodded leaning into her embrace and letting Lexa wrap her arms around her waist. She closed her eyes and took in the familiar smell of the girl in her arms, and she couldn’t help the slither of hope she felt as Lexa held her. Her next words were muffled into Lexa’s neck, but heard nonetheless.

“Together”


	12. May We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made, Clarke is mad. Anya and Clarke have a moment. And another journey begins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how long it took, but no matter how long it takes between chapters I will NOT abandon this story. It will be finished! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think!

“Clarke wait! You don’t know the entire story, listen to us first!” Murphy practically begged the blonde as he quickly followed her through the trading post, heading towards the Commanders rooms. Clarke couldn’t register anything around her. She could hear the muffled cries of someone behind her but she couldn’t care enough to find out who it was. 

The morning had started off a little rocky, with Anya walking in on her very naked and vulnerable form, but when the older blonde had left a calm seemed to wash over Clarke. And she couldn’t help but think it was because she had Lexa there as support. She had calmed down so quickly that she felt the need to catch up with her friends and find out their next move. What she hadn’t expected was to find out Lexa had already made their plans that morning, and the infuriating Commander wasn’t part of them.

She couldn’t explain why she felt a sudden anger and dread wash over her from the news. Clarke was never the codependent type. In fact, she would classify herself as a little too independent. Preferring to do things herself or on her own then with someones help. Even while leading her small group of friends, she knew she could probably lean on Bellamy or Murphy occasionally. Hell, anyone in her small group wouldn’t even flinch if she asked them for a little assistance from time to time, but something in her kept her from accepting the help. Kept her from asking for a helping hand when she desperately needed it. 

Until Lexa.

Something about the beautiful brunette had Clarke beyond intrigued. She knew she was screwed. Lexa had her hooked and was slowly reeling her in and Clarke struggled to keep herself in check. Finding out that Lexa had intentionally woke up early to meet up with her friends to lay out a plan (That she wasn’t apart of making) that the brunette herself had no part of, infuriated her. She barely heard Murphy explain the reason; something about how Lexa had to go warn her people of the Mountain and their recent attack. 

Clarke clenched her fists at her sides as she entered the building, taking the steps, two at a time, towards the Commanders rooms. Before she had left Lexa had informed her of her need of a bath, so she knew the Commander was still here. 

Stalking up towards the door she furiously raised her hand to silence the guard at the door, daring him to try and stop her right now. To her luck and slight amusement he slunk back against the wall, allowing her to pass with no argument. She was so enamored with her own rage and thoughts that she wasn’t at all aware of what she was walking into. Her eyes remained on the floor as she began furiously pacing the room, not able to look into the other girls eyes right now. Knowing that those deep greens always seem to make her crumble under their gaze.

“I-I’m like so beyond frustrated with you- I don’t - You can’t- Ugh!” Clarke screamed. Refusing to look up but unable to hold in the word vomit any longer. She was having trouble translating her jumbled thoughts into words and it was becoming very overwhelming.

“You can’t just decide what the plans are for my people without me being involved.” Clarke shook her head, her whole body buzzing with barely held back fury. She took a deep breath to try and calm herself enough to look at Lexa while she let her have it. “I get why you have to do it” Clarke sighed, looking up.

“but you just can’t-” Her throat instantly constricted at the sight before her. Head to toe Lexa stood naked in a tub filled with steamy water. Her tanned skinned glistening from the water still clinging to her gorgeous form. Lexa’s hair was down and wet, looking newly washed. She had her hand held out towards a towel hanging from the bed post next to the tub. She seemed to be frozen in place by Clarke’s abrupt entrance, eyes unblinking as they looked at the feisty blonde throwing a fit in her room.

Lexa broke the silence by clearing her throat, shaking her head slightly from the daze Clarke seemed to have her in. She finished reaching for the towel, wrapping it around her body before slowly stepping out of the tub to face the blonde.

“I just can’t- what Clarke?” Lexa asked, walking slowly towards the other girl. Clarke seemed to be frozen in place. The blue eyes that followed her movements were the only indication of the blonde’s coherency. A few agonizing seconds passed between them before the blonde finally dared to speak. 

“You-”

“Clarke, Holy shit you’re fucking fast- whoa hey there!” Murphy practically stumbled in the room, eyes landing on the Commander wrapped in only a towel. His hands went straight to cover his eyes as he tried to explain himself. “Oh my fuck, I mean sorry Lex- COMMANDER! I mean Commander, I’m sorry I was just trying to explain to Clarke why we made the plans and I just- she’s really fast - and I was just in a tragic explosion and could possibly have trauma- chasing around fucking speed racer was not my plan- I’m really sorry!”

“EM PLENI!” Lexa had finally had enough, she was trying desperately to shut him up since he began but he had kept his eyes shut the entire time, trying his best to scramble out of the room. He finally went silent with her outburst, but still refused to move his hands. She rubbed her temples slowly as she took a deep breath, trying to grasp her current situation.

“Murphy, I appreciate you trying to comfort Clarke and explain everything” Lexa looked at Clarke then, green connecting with blue. “But I think this is a conversation Clarke and I must have alone.” Murphy was nodding frantically, still blindly inching his way towards the exit.

“Yes I completely agree, sorry again Commander, I’m leaving- fuck! Ow!” Murphy grumbled gripping his knee that he knocked against the door frame as he turned around. “I’ll just close this” He finished, one hand still over his eyes as he used the other to gently close the door behind him. They could both hear the snickering coming from the guard stationed out front as he teased Murphy. They waited until the lingering sound of ‘fucking fucks’ coming from Murphy began to disperse and an uncomfortable silence lingered behind.

Clarke remained speechless through the entire interaction with Murphy. She could still feel the gnawing feeling of anger coursing through her and she knew it wouldn’t be long before the ache became too much and she let it all go. But the need to hear what Lexa had to say, even if she knew hearing it wouldn’t change her irrational thinking, won out, so she stayed silent. Seeming to sense Clarke’s hesitation Lexa sighed and nodded, coming to the conclusion she needed to start first.

“Let me just put on some clothes and we can talk” Lexa said, not waiting for a response from Clarke, knowing it was a long shot she would get one. After she changed into some jeans and a form fitting black tank she quickly brushed her hair, braiding it to the side to keep it from getting in her face. When she turned back around to address Clarke she hadn’t moved from the position she had left her in. Lexa rolled her eyes letting a slight smile show on her lips as she stood.

“Is something funny to you?” Clarke finally spoke, her voice coming out angrier than she looked. Lexa just shook her head as she made her way to the bed and sat down on the edge facing Clarke. She stared at her until blue eyes met hers and she put out her hand for the blonde to take.

When Clarke refused to take her hand and instead crossed her arms across her chest Lexa sighed in defeat. She had come to realize how stubborn and strong willed the blonde can be, but now she was getting a front row seat to the fury.

“I am sorry the plans were made without you present Clarke. You have to know it wasn’t my intention when I woke up this morning. I had originally planned on getting us breakfast and waking you up myself” Lexa clenched her fists against the blanket beneath her at the memory of Anya standing in the room, teasing a very naked Clarke, when she got back.  
“When I was on my way to the rec room one of my Generals had gotten word that the Clans Elders were gathering in Polis to discuss the mountain” The brunette looked down, beginning to fidget nervously with her hands “And unfortunately that means I am needed immediately. In most cases the Commander would be rushed back instantly but I needed to tell you myself, so I had pushed it back until tonight.”

“Tonight.” Clarke finally spoke, the word barely leaving her lips as she let the information sink in. 

“Okay, I get it… But that doesn’t explain why you met up with my friends and made plans that I wasn’t apart of” Clarke refused to give up no matter how stupid it may seem. One thing she had trouble keeping in this world was control, and in one swift motion Lexa took it away from her and Clarke couldn’t help the lost feeling she felt. She couldn’t explain it but she didn’t like it, and it just pissed her off more that Lexa was bringing out all these feelings she didn’t realize she had.

“That was also an accident. I had ran into Bellamy and Murphy on my way back to you and ended up explaining the current situation. They both felt uneasy about not having a solid plan to get back to your friends so I took fifteen minutes and helped them make a concrete enough plan they felt comfortable with. I recruited some of my warriors to go with you and I have two vehicles already being prepared for your departure.” Lexa stood up then, taking two steps closure to the blonde, slightly relieved she didn’t back away from her. “That’s why Anya came in to ask about the vehicle because I assigned Anya to take care of transport.”

Clarke was silent for longer than Lexa would have liked. She just watched as blue eyes flicked between hers, seeming to be looking for something she wasn’t quite sure of yet. Clarke sighed, her hands falling to her sides as some anger seemed to dissipate as the seconds ticked by.

“I get it Lexa, I really do understand. You have to protect your people, at all costs. I get it, and even if you were trying to be sweet with breakfast, which I really do appreciate. You need to understand something about me” Clarke took two steps forward closing the distance between them. Lexa could feel the blonde’s chest bump hers with every breath she took. The brunette had to will herself to stay rooted in place, not being used to being talked to so openly. Clarke narrowed her eyes, all traces of calm washed away in an instant.

“When it comes to _my_ people, my _friends_, I get to be part of a decision that could potentially endanger their lives. As much as I want the rest of my group back I need to think about the two in my care right _now_ as well. The last thing I need is to finally be reunited with Bellamy’s sister only to have to tell her he’s dead.” Lexa opened her mouth to say something but Clarke quickly cut her off.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for us… and me, since we’ve met you. Without you I could be dead and Bell and Murph could be trapped in the Mountain. I will forever be in your debt for that. But the only control I have in this world is keeping them alive” Clarke said, pointing to the door to emphasize her point.  
“I’ll admit it was kind of nice there for a moment with no responsibility and nobody’s life but my own to look after.” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand, the passion and conviction still in her eyes but a softness lingered in the blue depths as well. “But one thing I’ve learned from being in your company, even for as short of a time as we’ve had, is that my life has a purpose when I use it to help the people I love. My people. I never appreciated my title until I met you.” Lexa smiled softly, giving the blonde’s hand a gentle squeeze to let her know she understood. Clarke smiled back, sighing and pulling away gently.

“But I only need one car, and I only want Lincoln and Nyko as my help.” Clarke said, eyes blazing with a determination Lexa had only seen once before. She smiled, and nodded knowing she wouldn’t win this argument (or any argument with Clarke if she were being honest) 

“Okay, fine but you will also take Anya with you” Clarke opened her mouth to protest but Lexa held up her hand to silence her “I know she is still recovering from her injury but you have made quite an impression on her Clarke and I’m afraid not even I can convince her not to help you” Lexa smiled, “besides, she says she still ‘owes you one’” she finished, using air quotes. She watched as the blonde thought over her words and finally relented, nodding her agreement to allow Anya to join. But she had a stipulation for Lexa as well.

“Alright, but you leave in the morning, when we do.” She raises her hand quickly “and before you say anything to argue it is only for you and your warriors safety” Clarke said, eyes never leaving Lexa’s. The brunette stayed silent, one eyebrow raised in question. Clarke sighed, “Those things from the Mountain, they don’t like light. So if they’re sending them out to hunt us, they’ll do it at night.” Clarke finished. Lexa smiled, appreciating how clever Clarke truly is. The blonde was meant to be a leader, no matter what roll she would have played had the infection not occurred she would have led people regardless.

“Alright Clarke, we both go our separate ways in the morning” Lexa agreed, not caring to wipe the smile off her face for the extra time she gets with the blonde. Clarke sighed in relief and nodded backing away from the brunette.

“Good, okay- yeah that’s good” Clarke stammered out, barely able to form a coherent sentence. Having been so close to Lexa had become way more distracting then she’d would care to admit. She continues backing away, not turning around, finding it hard to tear her eyes away from the gorgeous goddess in front of her. 

“Okay, well since we’ve got that all sorted out I’m gonna go help the guys with whatever they need” Clarke said, reaching for the doorknob and beginning to turn around.

“Clarke”

The blonde froze, eyes landing on concerned green ones.

“Are we okay?” Lexa’s voice came out barely above a whisper. The sorrow and desperation clear on her tongue. Clarke’s stomach dropped at the look she was receiving from the Commander, she couldn’t stand being the cause of it.

“Of course we’re okay Lexa, it was just a misunderstanding” Clarke said, letting go of the doorknob and walking towards the brunette. She tentatively reached out to take her hand, unsure if the brunette would reject her or not.

To her relief Lexa did not pull away.

“We both have a lot to do to be ready for the morning… But will you be around for dinner?” Clarke asked uneasily. She couldn’t deny she feared rejection from Lexa more than anything. She hadn’t felt this strongly for someone and even though it terrified her, it was something she just might be willing to explore. Lexa smiled from ear to ear, it was the first time Clarke had ever seen her grin so wide.

It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. 

“Yes Clarke, I will be around for dinner.” Lexa said, squeezing her hand softly “They don’t have a rec room here but they do their meals around a few fires in the courtyard. Meet me there later?” she asked, now being the one that seemed uneasy. Clarke smiled and nodded her answer unsure of what to do from here. Does she kiss Lexa? Does she just shake her hand and walk away? They fucking slept together and Clarke was still unsure of where they stood. So, even though she wasn’t sure what the protocol was the blonde simply smiled and stroked her thumb on the top of the brunettes hand she still held, before pulling away and walking back to the door. 

“See you for dinner Commander” Clarke said as she turned her gaze away from the striking woman and finally left the room. As she neared the stairs she could faintly hear the brunettes response.

“Until then beautiful…”

* * *

Clarke made her way to the front of the trading post where a few tents have been set up for any refugees or visitors. Bellamy and Murphy were moved into their own tent when Anya was released from medical this morning. 

She entered the tent to Bellamy leaning over a table in the middle of the room looking at some maps and Murphy on one of the cots in the corner snoring. Clarke laughed to herself as she walked towards Bell. He seemed to barely acknowledge her presence, his mind too wrapped up in the maps and papers in front of him. The only thing that told her he knew she was there was the plate thrust in front of her with a grunt. She smiled as she looked down at the plate of eggs and sausage Bellamy seemed to have gotten for her. She took it gratefully, now realizing how truly starving she was.

“Bellamy you’re the fucking best!” She practically screamed with glee as she pulled out a chair and plopped down digging into her food with a satisfying moan around her fork. Bellamy’s eyes left the maps as he eyed her with a smirk on his face, he shook his head at her dramatics.

“I figured you might be hungry after last night…” He said, his smirk only growing as his eyes fell back on the papers in front of him. Clarke froze mid bite, slowly chewing the remainder in her mouth before swallowing and looking at the amused boy in front of her. Her eyes crease as she leers at him. 

“Whatever you think-”

“Oh no Princess, not think. Know. Everyone does really, wasn’t exactly a quiet night if you know what I mean” He said, his eyebrows waggling in mocking humour. He clearly was enjoying teasing Clarke and the deep red blush that now covered her cheeks had him bending over cackling.

“Oh fuck you Bell!”

“Mm- The Commander already took care of that for you Clarke” Murphy mumbled in the corner of the room, clearly having woken up from the commotion. His eyes were still shut but his lips were painted into a wide grin. Clarke just rolled her eyes, shaking her head. Of course everyone heard what happened last night. It was bad enough that whatever happened last night made this thing between them more confusing, not less. Now she felt more pressure to figure out what it was, even if she was scared to find out. 

“Okay, enough you’ve had your fun. Now Murphy get the fuck up and both of you reexplain to me the plans for tomorrow.” Clarke said, waiting for Murphy to reluctantly leave the cot he was snuggled on. When he got to the table both him and Bellamy stared at Clarke with a dubious look. She sighed.

“I promise I’m no longer mad, I talked with the Commander and she explained. I just want to know what the next step is” She explained, placing both palms on the table and sitting back down. She grabbed her fork and went back to eating her breakfast (she couldn’t deny her starvation any longer) and motioned for them to continue. 

After a moment of silence they both shrugged and began reexplaining the plan they had set up with the Commander that morning. Clarke couldn’t deny the gnawing want to change something Lexa had planned, just wanting to gain back some kind of control, but she found the plan to be solid. And as much as she tried to discover some fault or loop hole in their plans, she couldn’t.

Leaning back in her chair, now satisfyingly full Clarke just nodded her acceptance of the plans. Letting them both know of the little tweaks she and the Commander had talked about earlier. If everything goes according to plan they should be at Arkadia-Skies Mall by early afternoon tomorrow. 

Clarke couldn’t control the glee she felt to be that much closer to seeing her friends again.

* * *

When Clarke was finished helping the guys pack up the Jeep (with as much supplies they could bring back as possible) it was nearing dark. Clarke wanted to talk with Anya before dinner so she said her goodbyes to the guys and made her way to the only building on the post. She wasn’t sure where Anya would be but she knew Lincoln was here because she seen him on guard duty earlier. 

To her relief she was correct as she saw him exiting the building as she grew close. He seemed to have noticed her, slowing down with a small smile.

“Hello Clarke, is there something you need from me before we depart tomorrow?” Lincoln asked, having been busy helping his Heda he wasn’t sure if Clarke needed any help as well. The blonde smiled at his kindness, always forgetting how much softer Lincoln seemed to be then the other guards.

“Actually we seem to be all set, thank you Lincoln. There was something I came to ask you though”

“What can I do for you Clarke?”

“Do you know where Anya is?” Lincoln smiled as his lips twisted into a smirk. He nodded towards the back of the building.

“I believe I seen her and Heda walking behind the building” He responded, gesturing behind them. The look of confusion on Clarke’s face made him laugh before continuing “They have a small training ring back there for sparring practice” He explained, trying to hold back the smile.

“Oh okay” Clarke said “I’ll just head there then- Oh and Lincoln?” She said, waiting for him to look at her “Thanks for coming with us, I don’t know if I have thanked you for any of this, but- yeah thank you” Clarke said, shuffling on her feet uncomfortably. Lincoln just smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

“Since this all began I have vowed to follow anyone that carries themselves with grace and dignity and leads their people with bravery and kindness. You Clarke, are one of those leaders and I am honored to help you get back to your people” He said, squeezing her shoulder lightly. Clarke was beyond words, it was silent for a few seconds before she finally came to her senses.

“Th-thank you Lincoln, that means more to me than you know” She returned, placing a hand over his with a final nod before she departed. She wasn’t expecting a small heart to heart with the soft warrior but she was glad it happened. Lincoln radiated hope no matter who was around him and it was something she desperately needed right now to get back to her friends.

She made her way around the building where Lincoln had directed. As she turned the corner she quickly fell back into the wall and hid herself, peaking her head around the corner so she can see the scene in front of her.

Lexa and Anya were both in the middle of a man-made sparring ring. It was in the shape of a large circle and seemed to have dirt as the base. There were different metal rods and wood sticks surrounding the ring with a rope strung between each. Clarke had walked further away from the building the last time she came back here, completely missing the sparring ring in her overwhelmed state.

Slowly making her way around the corner she made sure to stay in the shadows. She couldn’t deny her curiosity to truly see Lexa and Anya’s fighting abilities.

A sweaty and out of breath Lexa has nothing to do with it.

Not at all… 

She carefully wedged her way between a few of the gathered people, making sure to remain behind a burly man as to not be seen. 

They both were absolutely stunning.

Anya wore a lose pair of camo pants tucked into her army boots, with a dark green loose fitting tank top. Her hair was braided french style in one clean braid down her back. When her shirt rode up during offensive moves Clarke could see the tight bandage wrapped around her entire torso, keeping her wound tight and in place. The blonde would be surprised if she pulled a stitch.

Then there was Lexa.

Lexa could make mouths go dry. 

She wore tight black fitting leggings that formed making her legs look longer, if that were possible with her knee high lace boots. On top she wore a tight black sports bra that was tight enough to show just enough cleavage. Her hair was braided out of her face, as the rest fell down her back in waves. Clarke’s jaw dropped, her knees growing weak at the sight. Stumbling a little she gripped the mans forearm in front of her to help steady herself. He turned around with a sneer and Clarke’s eyes widened, her hand letting go instantly.

“So sorry!” She squeaked out as she began walking away, weaving her way back through the growing crowd. It seemed watching the Heda and General spar was just as interesting to everyone else. 

She finally made her way out of the crowd, finding the growing amount of people becoming overwhelming to be around. When she finally squeezed passed the last couple of people she took a deep breath of fresh air not shared with another. Loud claps began to erupt from the crowd as she turned around to see Anya on the ground, Lexa smiling her victory over her, extending her hand to help the older blonde up. Someone ducked under the ropes and walked over to Lexa, taking her wrist and raising it into the air in victory.

_“Heda ste Osleya!!! (The Commander is Champion)”_ He announces with a huge grin as he lets go of his Commander and bows gratefully to both her and the General before taking his leave, chatting excitingly with his friends when he reaches them. Both Anya and Lexa greeted the people with smiles and nods as they made their way out of the ring.

In her direction.

Clarke’s eyes widened as she frantically looked around trying to find somewhere to hide. Quickly she hid behind a large tree ducking low, hoping they hadn’t seen her. She could hear Anya’s voice as they both drew near.

“You got me there _seken (second)_, I honestly thought you lost some of your talent not having me around for a couple of months to keep you in line” 

“Oh _shof op fos (shut up, first)_, just admit it, you’re getting old and rusty” Lexa’s voice trailed behind Anya’s and to Clarke’s dismay they were walking straight for her. She stumbled back quickly, tripping over one of the trees roots and landing right on her ass. The mud covering the ground from the previous rains splashed up, covering her pants and shirt in grime. She huffed in frustration as she looked up, her eyes connecting with something hanging off one of the low tree branches.

Lexas’ towel. Shit.

“Old and rusty my ass!” Anya said, Clarke could barely hear the low grunt escape Lexa as Anya shoved her.

_“Jokker…(fucker)”_ Lexa muttered under her breath, rubbing her arm as she reached for the towel one of her guards left for her. She was slightly startled to see Clarke trying to act as casual as possible, drenched in mud as she sat against the bark of the tree.

“Clarke?”

“Oh- Hi Lexa! Funny seeing you here” Clarke sputtered out, internally rolling her eyes at her own awkwardness. Anya had come around with her own towel, eyes landing on the muddy blonde on the ground.

“I’m not gonna lie Blondie, I never figured you for a ‘play in the dirt’ kinda girl” Anya said with a smirk, draping her towel over her shoulders and holding both ends, not bothering to wipe the smirk off her face.

Clarke could feel her face heat up, she was clearly caught attempting to hide, and the mud she was currently sitting in threw all her chances of dignity out the window. Lexa bit her lip to keep herself from smiling as she extended her hand to help Clarke stand, which the blonde gratefully accepted.

Standing there awkwardly, drenched in mud was not how Clarke thought she’d have this conversation. But she was already here, and she found Anya after all, so fuck it.

“Anya, I actually came here to speak with you before dinner” Clarke blurted out, holding her chin up high. Despite her current embarrassing situation she was going to do this with as much dignity as she could. Anya smirked, leaning an arm on the bark of the tree.

“If you wanted to spar in the mud all you had to do was ask Clarke” 

“Oh ha ha, very funny. This-” Clarke gestured to the mud covering her pants, “was obviously an accident, but since you’ve already seen me and succeeded in embarrassing me I figure why the fuck not proceed with the conversation I wanted to have” Clarke responded. She might be mortified but it wouldn’t stop her from being just as snarky as Anya. 

Lexa had remained silent during the entire exchange, not wanting to interfere in a conversation she wasn’t part of. When both blondes fell silent and blue eyes connected with hers again, Lexa cleared her throat.

“I will leave you both to it then-” the brunette said, turning to address Clarke only “and you are welcome to my bath if you want” She eyed the blonde up and down, not trying to hide the hesitation when she reached her cleavage. She cleared her throat when the blonde raised an eyebrow in question “It’s a lot more accommodating then the public showers” She finished saying her goodbyes quickly to Anya (ignoring the smirk on the older blondes lips) and made her way to her rooms to prep for a meeting with Niylah and her father.

Both blondes remained silent as they watched Lexa disappear behind the side of the building. Anya was the first to speak.

“Walk with me back to my tent and we can talk on the way” Anya said, walking in the direction Lexa had went, gesturing for Clarke to follow. They walked in silence for a while. Anya waiting for Clarke to say whatever she needs to say and Clarke trying to move past her mortification to remember exactly why the fuck she wanted to talk to the older blonde in the first place. Sighing she gripped the other blondes arm, stopping them both.

“Anya wait, just- are you sure you want to come with us?” Clarke asked, finally remembering the reason she needed to see Anya. Clarke received no response, so she continued. “I mean, I would love for you to come. And I hate to admit it but since the mountain I can’t see myself in a sticky situation without you there too” Blue eyes met brown as she finally put words to how she was feeling. 

The mountain took a lot from Clarke. Her nightmares were stronger, more real. She couldn’t close her eyes without seeing one of their creations tearing into her skin. She can still feel the needles, and can still hear the evil laughter from the guards as they watched prisoners defecate themselves. One certainty among all the uncertainty was Anya. The older blonde was the only tether Clarke had to reality. And if it weren’t for Anya, she would have succumb to the madness. She would have been trapped there.

She would have died in the mountain.

So when she hears that Anya still feels like she owes Clarke for saving her life she couldn’t accept that. Because if it weren’t for Anya, they never would have gotten out of there. Never would have the resources or people to hopefully go back and take that place down. Anya did all of that. Not Clarke. She owed Anya, not the other way around.

Anya just stood there staring at the younger blonde. Clarke could see she was working out something in her head, so she gave her the time to figure it out. When Anya opened her mouth to speak nothing but a grunt came out and she shook her head in frustration.

“Whatever” Was the only response Clarke received before she was watching an angry blonde warrior walking furiously back to her tent.

Against Clarke’s better judgement she chased after Anya, not daring to call out to her or touch her but not finding this conversation to be over. She didn’t know why the older blonde suddenly got so angry with her, but she’ll be dammed if she wasn’t going to pry it out of her.

When they reached the tent Anya held open the flap and turned to glare at Clarke, gesturing for her to enter, clearly having realized the younger blonde wasn’t finished. Clarke swallowed and nodded quickly, scurrying inside as fast as possible. Anya entered behind her and zipped the flap closed. She turned around refusing to address Clarke as she rummaged through a few trunks for a change of clothes.

“So, is this the part where you murder me and hide the body?” Clarke asked nervously. Anya chuckled, relieving some of the tension from the small space, and looked at Clarke.

“Unfortunately no, Heda has come to grow fond of you, as you know. So you suddenly going missing would raise quite a few questions. Don’t you think?” Anya retorted with a smirk. Clarke just scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“So, are you really that mad?” Clarke asked, starting to shuffle awkwardly on her feet. Anya sighed, rubbing her face in her hands.

“I’m not mad, I just was surprised. Regardless if I owe you or you owe me I’m going Clarke. I already received the approval from Heda, so I’m going.” Anya said with indignation. She refused to break eye contact with Clarke, trying to prove her point. Both blondes just stood there. Both refusing to blink or look away. Clarke was the first to break with a big smile.

“Just admit it Anya…” the older blonde raised an eyebrow in question “We’re friends” Clarke said, smiling from ear to ear. Anya huffed and rolled her eyes, going back to searching for something to wear. Clarke heard her mumble something under her breath but it was too quiet for her to hear.

“What was that Anya? Come on, let me hear it” Clarke said, walking up behind Anya and slowly poking her side. The older blonde jumped with a yelp, a smile painting her face. Clarke’s eyes widened as realization hit her.

“Are- are you ticklish?” Clarke asked, biting her lip to keep the laughter in. Anya rolled her eyes and grumbled under her breath.

“If I tell you we are friends, will you leave my tent and never speak of this again?” Anya asked, a slight hopeful tone to her voice. Clarke giggled, nodding her agreement. Anya huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You are myfrendclrke…” Clarke leaned in, cupping her ear dramatically.

“Sorry Anya, what was that? You have to speak clearer” Clarke laughed as Anya stomped her foot once in defiance, clenching her fists at her side.

“You are my… friend Clarke” Anya admitted through clenched teeth. Clarke laughed and poked Anya in her side once more, watching the general squirm.

“You mean ‘best friend’ right?” Clarke asked, cupping her hands together and blinking eagerly at Anya.

“Don’t push it Blondie” Anya said, grabbing Clarke’s wrist and unzipping the flap, leading her outside. “Now go away, and never speak of this again” Anya grumbled as she watched the younger blonde walk away.

“Okay, see you later bestie!” Clarke called behind her, making sure everyone near her heard. She watched Anya’s eyes go wide and then glare in Clarke’s direction before grumbling her way back inside her tent. The younger blonde just laughed as she sped up her walking towards the Commanders room. Hoping the offer to use her bath was still on the table, because she desperately needed one before dinner.

* * *

Clarke was slightly relieved she hadn’t run into Lexa coming back to her rooms to bathe. She assumed the Commander made sure the room was free if Clarke took her up on her offer. When she walked in the room she noticed a change of clothes and a towel on the bed. The bath was full and the water was steaming. Walking closer Clarke could now see the heated stones under the tub keeping the water warm.

She excitedly stripped off her muddy clothes, thankful to finally be out of them. Slowly she dipped a toe in to check the temperature of the water before she glided carefully into the tub. Sighing at the feeling of the hot water soothing her tired muscles. She spotted a bottle of shampoo, noticing the lavender label on the front. Now understanding why she smells the lavender so clearly on Lexa. Smirking she picked it up, plopping a dab in her palm and massaging it into her hair. After rinsing her hair, conditioning it and washing her body she reluctantly stepped out, grabbing the towel Lexa had left behind. As she lifted it off the bed something fell out, falling to the floor. Looking down she noticed it was a note, her name scrawled out on the front.

_Clarke,_

_If you have taken me up on my offer than I hope you enjoy your bath. I made sure it was already prepared and that nobody disturbed you. If I am still able to be graced with your presence tonight meet me where the boar is being cooked._

_P.s._  
_I hope the clothes fit you, if they don’t feel free to search my drawers for something that fits._

_Always,_

_Lexa_

Clarke smiled down at the note, reading it three times before deciding to put it down. After she dried herself off her eyes landed on the clothes Lexa had laid out for her. Walking over she could see they weren’t anything special, but they definitely looked more Lexa than they did her. Tight black jeans, and a long ocean blue long sleeved tee. She didn’t have many options so she went with what was given. They surprisingly fit very well, sticking to Clarkes’ curves in all the right places. She quickly gave herself a side braid, slipped the note in her pocket and made her way out to the courtyard.

When she arrived she was surprised to see the amount of fires and different items being cooked on each. There were at least a dozen different controlled fires around the courtyard, a very safe distance away from the visitors tents. Each fire held a different food item. Deer, fish, stew, soup, one of the fires even had constructed an oven around the base and was cooking pie. Clarkes’ mouth watered as she passed each pit. She received smiles and nods as she weaved her way through looking for a boar. When she reached the point of thinking the Commander was just finding a way to blow her off, her nose picked up something she couldn’t ignore. Turning around, the smell of bacon led her to the boar she was looking for. Sitting around the pit already was Bellamy and Anya. As she walked closer Clarke noticed Lexa on the other side. When their eyes met Clarke felt her heart pick up as the brunette gestured for her to sit next to her.

“Hey Clarke, I was wondering when you’d show up” Bellamy said, smiling at her as she sat down.

“Yeah sorry I had to clean up” Clarke said, glancing at Lexa as she handed her a plate of bacon with a smile “It took longer than I thought” the blonde finished, not taking her eyes off Lexa’s. Bellamy looked between the two of them, trying to clear his throat to get their attention.

“Okayyyy-” Bellamy said, scratching the back of his neck in his discomfort “Anyway Anya and I were just talking about leaving earlier than planned tomorrow”

“How early?” Clarke asked, being snapped back to the two across the fire from her. Bellamy just shrugged, Anya rolled her eyes, and shoved him off the log they were seated on.

“Ow! What the fuck was that for?!”

“You’re a _Branwada (fool)_” Anya scolds him before turning her attention back to Clarke. “It will be just after sun rise. We will make sure it is light out Clarke, we just want to make good time” Clarke nodded in understanding, agreeing that leaving earlier would benefit them in the long run. It wouldn’t be bad for Lexa to leave a little earlier too.

“Where’s Murphy?” Clarke asked, just now noticing their missing friend. Bellamy gestured behind her.

“Where do you think?” He asked amused as Clarke turned around and sees him gliding from one fire pit to the next, enjoying each and every flavor he can come across. Clarke just laughed and shook her head, she was glad he was enjoying himself. After about half an hour of good food and conversation Bellamy and Anya both dismissed themselves to get some sleep, leaving her and Lexa alone. The brunette was the first to break the silence.

“I’m glad you took me up on my offer and found my note” Lexa said hesitantly. Clarke watched her for a few seconds, for the first time seeing the truly venerable girl under the Heda mask. Lexa was actually nervous, and Clarke was the one doing that to her.

“Yes, thank you for the change of clothes, I will make sure to clean them before I return them to you”

“Keep them.”

“Ar-are you sure?” Clarke asked, blue eyes were now trapped within the vortex of green and she had no escape.

“Positive. You look better in them than I would anyway” Lexa said, her eyes grew darker as she looked at Clarke. The only thing the blonde could hear was the occasional crackle of the fire and the rapid beat of her heart echoing in her ears. She couldn’t understand why Lexa made her feel like this. She was attractive, god yes, but there was something else there. Some pull that Clarke couldn’t understand but she refused to say goodbye to Lexa tomorrow without knowing what this was.

“What are we?” word vomit won over again before Clarke had a chance to stop it. But if she were being honest she didn’t want to stop it. She wanted to know the answer, they owed it to each other to figure it out. Lexa didn’t seem fazed by the question, actually she looked like she had been expecting it.

“Whatever you want us to be Clarke” Lexa responded, clicking the ‘k’ in her name in just the right way to make her legs quake. She was suddenly glad they were both sitting down for this conversation. But the answer wasn’t what Clarke was looking for, and it left her with more questions then answers. It means Lexa is leaving whatever this is, up to Clarke, and that frustrated her. She had no idea what she wanted this to be. What could this be? She was the Commander of twelve fucking clans and they were in the middle of a catastrophic apocalyptic world disaster. And they were about to be separated for who knows how long. 

How could she make this decision?

Taking a deep breath she raised her eyes to meet forest greens and gave the only honest answer she could give.

“I don’t know.”

* * *

Clarke made the decision to sleep on the extra cot in Anya’s tent. She left Lexa on good terms. The brunette understood the blondes skepticism and they both promised to truly answer that question when this was all over. They weren’t sure how long they’d be apart when they finally went their own ways. So they stayed by the fires until they burned to embers, cuddling close to each other for warmth in the cool fall breeze. They shared soft kisses and whispered sweet nothings until they could no longer keep their eyes open. They decided to say their goodbyes that night, deciding leaving on a strong note would be better for their people.

* * *

“Ah!” Clarke shoots up from bed, her hair and upper body now completely soaked in water. She glared up at a grinning Anya, still holding the now empty water bucket. “What. The. Fuck. Anya!” Clarke seethed through gritted teeth, the cold air of the morning doing nothing to help her chill. 

“Get up Blondie! The sun is officially awake, it’s departure time!” Anya said, throwing the bucket to the floor and throwing a couple more shirts in a duffel bag. 

“You think the guys are really going to get up this early Anya?” Clarke asked exasperated as she stood and reached in her bag for a dry change of clothes. “You’re out of your damn mind”

“You mean the guys that have been up for the last hour?” Bellamy says with a smirk, leaning in the tent, holding the flap open for Murphy.

“The guys who also already did the double check of the supplies, the vehicle, the gas and our food for the trip” Murphy joined in smirking at Clarke “Now the jeeps already on and were burning fuel”

“Yeah, hurry the hell up Princess!” Bellamy yells behind him as he makes his way back out of the tent, Murphy following behind him. Clarke just stood there her mouth open in shock. In almost the year she has known them they had never been up early for anything except food. She grumbles as she grabs her change of clothes and tosses her duffel forcefully at Anya.

“Fine! I’ll be out in minute, just take my bag and load it in the jeep would you?” Clarke grumbled turning back around to begin getting changed. Anya just laughed, catching the bag and swinging it over her shoulder heading to the Jeep.

When Clarke was finished dressing she went outside and made her way towards the jeep. She could see not far from their car were two other vehicles being loaded to head to Polis. Clarke swallowed her emotions down, turning to watch as Lincoln and Nyko walked over to the jeep loading the last of their bags in. They had already decided to allow Anya to drive. Clarke took passenger seat, Murphy and Bellamy took the middle row and Nyko and Lincoln took the back. Taking one last look out the rear view Clarke can see a figure standing alone outside the building in the far distance. 

For anyone else the person wouldn’t be noticeable. For anyone else, the person was just another figure in the crowd. But Clarke knew instantly, the moment she stepped outside the building, who it was. Her heart sped up as she eyed the figure in the distance. Anya put the jeep into gear as the gates began to open. As they exited the trading post, Clarke could faintly make out the small figure waving goodbye.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to let go for now.

_May we meet again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it please leave a comment and a kudo! It helps me more than you know!


	13. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is explanation enough... maybe ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone that left a comment on the last chapter! It gave me so much inspiration of got this one out faster than ever before! Thanks again! I hope you enjoy!

"You said this mall is just on the outskirts of coalition lands?" Clarke asked Anya, turning her head to address the warrior. She noticed they were nearing their destination a lot quicker than anticipated. They had only been in the car an hour, maybe two, before she started recognizing signs indicating they were leaving the reservation. Anya grunted a yes in answer, keeping her eyes glued to the road. Anya had been unusually stiff the entire ride, she hardly said a word, keeping both hands on the steering wheel. The accident with the enhanced rotters affected the older blonde more than she let show. Clarke made a mental note to talk to her about it later. 

As they reached Arkadia, the town just outside the reservation, Bellamy pointed to a decimated building that looked to have used to been a bar. Now, it was barely kept together. The sign, hardly legible due to what looked like a past fire, was hanging lazily off the top of the building. Clarke could see "The Dropship" written on the front. 

"Turn in here Anya” Bellamy said, pointing to the parking lot just outside of the bar. Anya raised an eyebrow in question but did as she was told, turning into a spot and parking the car.

“So you gonna tell me why were here?” Anya asked Bellamy, glancing at him through the rear view mirror.

“Don’t worry, the mall is just down the street from here” Bellamy assured her, his focus on the bar in front of them.

“That doesn’t answer my question” The older blonde snapped, beginning to get impatient. Bellamy either didn’t notice her attention or chose to ignore it, facing Clarke and addressing her.

“What day of the week is it Clarke?” He asked, a smile now firmly plastered on his face. Clarke looked at him like he had two heads, why on rotting earth was he asking her what day of the week it was?

“Uh, I don’t know, I think Friday…?” Clarke answered, a little unsure. Bellamy just nodded enthusiastically. Anya groaned, no longer willing to contain her annoyance at the scruffy haired boy.

“What the fuck does it matter what day it is? Start fucking explaining yourself or I’m getting back on the road!” Bellamy again completely ignored Anya, his eyes never leaving Clarke’s.

“Come on Clarke, think! Why would Friday be important?” Bellamy asked, his eyes widening in a desperate plea for her to remember. The younger blonde scrunched her eyebrows in confusion as she tried to think. She had trouble even thinking when the last time she truly cared about the day of the week. 

Maybe before the mountain? 

Then realization hit her.

“Wait…” Her eyes connected with Bellamy’s again as memories came flooding back to her. “You think she’s here right now?” Clarke asked him, the other three occupants of the car becoming background buzz to the both of them. Bellamy nodded smacking Murphy awake next to him.

“I’m positive. Wake the fuck up Murph!” He sighed, rolling his eyes before addressing Clarke again. “When we first discovered this town, this is where Octavia and I would spend our Friday’s” Bellamy answered, opening the door and stepping out, dragging a half asleep Murphy with him before popping his head back in to address Clarke one more time. 

“Oh! And it’s fully stocked!” He was grinning from ear to ear as he was making his way to the bar. Murphy was finally awake enough to take in his surroundings and was now jumping with excitement as they entered the Dropship. Clarke watched them walk inside, the smile never leaving her face as well.

Anya cleared her throat to get Clarke’s attention. 

“Are _you_ going to tell us what’s so special about Friday’s?” Anya asked incredulously. She wasn’t used to being kept out of the loop, and this entire situation was just strange. 

Clarke glanced behind her to an equally confused Nyko and Lincoln. She laughed to herself, now realizing how absolutely absurd this must all sound.

“Okay, I guess I owe you guys an explanation… It’s kind of a long story” Clarke said, maneuvering herself in the seat so she can address all of them as she spoke. “But long story short, Octavia is Bellamy’s little sister, and before they were sentence to time at JJDC their mom… Well she wasn’t really the kindest person you could have as a parent” Clarke said, having to look down and away from the three pairs of questioning eyes. She cleared her throat before continuing “But that’s not my story to tell, the point is Friday’s were always the one day the Blake siblings could be free of their mother. She always seemed to end up at other people’s houses or with other guys on the weekends. They usually saw her Saturday nights into Sunday mornings, but Fridays were always free. So they would take liquor from their moms stash in her room and get as fucked up as they could get…” Clarke sighed, even telling only this side of their story was hard for the blonde. She rubbed her face wit both hands before continuing “She was the kind of woman that loved her liquor more than her own children, and never tried to hide it either. So they sorta did it-”

“As an act of defiance towards their detestable mother” Lincoln finished for her, speaking for the first time since the start of the trip. She looked up to meet his eyes where she was greeted with nothing but understanding and sorrow.

“Exactly, so when they were eventually put in government custody and became branded as ‘delinquents’ they figured out ways to celebrate their Fridays at JJDC. And they’ve been figuring it out since.” Clarke shrugged “It sort of became a tradition for the both of them” She finished glancing at the others, her gaze instantly softening as she looked at Lincoln. He seemed to understand more than he let on. She wanted to say something to reassure him, let him know that he always had someone to talk to if needed, maybe him and Bellamy would get along better than she thought? 

She was unexpectedly yanked from her thoughts by a loud bang on her door, before it was instantly pulled open. 

“Hey Clarke!”

“Ah!” The young blonde almost jumped out of her seat as Murphy beamed at her from her open door. He immediately doubled over in a fit of laughter at Clarke’s terrified reaction. 

“Oh go fuck yourself Murph! You almost gave me a damn heart attack!” Clarke said, clutching her chest and leaning over in her seat trying to catch her breath. She could just make out the little wheezes coming from next to her.

“You too?” Clarke asked, glaring daggers at Anya. She would love to say her angry faces made people think twice, and they usually do.

Unfortunately this was not one of those times.

Anya doubled over, now officially giving up on trying to keep her laughter in. The young blondes ‘angry face’ only making it more difficult to keep herself together. Murphy was now just picking himself up off the floor, a giggle trying to be stifled at the back of his throat. He opened the passenger door for Clarke, trying to cover his mouth to keep the laughter in. Clarke just rolled her eyes, deciding to change the subject before they got more carried away.

“Is she here?” Clarke asked him trying not to sound so emotionally hopeful. Murphy smiled and nodded, gesturing around the back. She couldn’t contain herself any longer as she sprung from her seat and ran for the back door of the bar. She could faintly hear Anya calling out behind her but she didn’t care. 

Her feet felt numb as they carried her to the alley around the back to a soot covered metal door. Her ears began ringing, heart speeding up as her fingers wrapped around the door knob. Yanking just a little, it opened with a deafening creak that seemed to echo down the long hallway she was led to.

As the door shut behind her and she made her way down the dark corridor she could hear indistinct voices in the distance. Rounding the corner she entered into the main part of the bar. Towards the front and around the side to the back is where most of the fire damage can be seen. Being inside, Clarke can clearly see why this place hadn’t been looted or discovered until now. On the outside it was just a pile of rubble. The walls and ceiling looked to be caved in long ago, leaving nothing more than a memory of a time that once was. 

Inside, it looked to be completely untouched. Besides the walls that faced the road, which were soot covered and obviously suffered serious smoke damage, the entire structure was still standing. Beams holding the roof in place throughout the room. An open ceiling plan made it easier to see how structurally sound the building truly was. 

Clarke almost fell over at how gorgeous the place was. 

The owners had put their own special touch on the place, Clarke could tell right away. Frames littered the walls in all different sizes, covering the dark wall papered walls. Some held pictures of the owners and their family, some looking generations old. Clarke smiled at the thought of this place full of townspeople laughing about their days with friends. 

The walls were a deep red, the floors a dark wood. The bar was against the back of the room, a line of shelves with the finest lining the wall behind it. The bar top was a black marble, black stools with chrome red accents were set up around it. They had a few booths by the windows (some of which the flames had unfortunately reached) and a few different sized tables strewn about the middle of the room.

Clarke was currently so enamored with a cluster of photos on the wall by the bar, she didn’t register someone walking up behind her.

“You know the first time I saw this place I thought of you” Clarke quickly turned around as the largest smile painted her face. Octavia stood there with a matching grin, bouncing on the heels of her feet. “It’s true, ask Bell.” She gestured with her thumb behind her “We both walked in and the first thing out of my mouth was ‘Griffin would never leave’”

“She’s right!” Bellamy called from the table he was currently sitting at, Murphy and the others now joining him. Clarke just laughed pulling Octavia into a tight hug.

“I’ve missed you O!” Clarke practically screamed, squeezing with all of her might.

“Oh! Y-yeah I’ve… Missed you- too Clarke.. But I- can’t breathe…” 

“Oops” the blonde let go as Octavia quickly gasped for air. “Sorry…” She mumbled unable to hide her smile, her excitement getting the best of her. Octavia just chuckled, not seeming to mind, as she walked around the bar looking at the different shelves of alcohol. She seemed to be looking for something specific.

“Hmm… let’s see if my memory serves me right” Octavia said, grabbing a few bottles and beginning to mix a drink. A few minutes later a two toned slim glass was placed in front of Clarke who looked at it incredulously. She honestly thought she’d never get the chance to taste an actual mixed drink again. 

“It’s obviously lacking the lime and the ice but you get the idea” Octavia said, grabbing herself a lukewarm beer and watching Clarke intently. The blonde smiled and nodded her thanks before taking a gracious sip of the drink. She closed her eyes as she swished the liquid around on her tongue. When she opened them she was greeted with an eager looking Octavia.

“Well?” The brunette asked, bouncing up and down with impatience. Clarke hummed for a second, twirling the drink in the glass to try and delay for as long as possible. The small brunette was clearly about to explode with anticipation and wasn’t appreciating Clarke’s teasing.

“It’s perfect O” Clarke answered, causing a whoop and a holler from the small brunette. Octavia pointed to Bellamy with a shit eating grin plastered on her face.

“Dark ‘n’ stormy! I told you Bell!” She shouted, mockingly waggling her finger at him.

“Ah come on, Clarke!” Bellamy said, throwing his hands up in defeat. “I thought rum and coke was your favorite!” Clarke just laughed and shook her head as she grabbed her drink and made her way over to the table, Octavia in tow.

“No Bellamy, a dark ‘n’ stormy is my favorite. A rum and coke is my go to now, because it’s easier to come by these days” She answered, grabbing a chair from another table and pulling it up next to where Octavia had just sat down. She took another long swig of her drink, moaning as the taste hit her tongue.

“Ha! Told yah Bell! You get cleaning duty for a month!” Octavia said doing a little dance in her seat to her victory.

“You guys bet on my favorite drink?” Clarke asked with amusement, Octavia gleamed for ear to ear as she nodded eagerly. Bellamy just mumbled an incoherent yes and slumped down in his seat. Clarke rolled her eyes and shook her head, Bellamy was always a sore loser. 

“Are we missing something here?” Anya asked, speaking up for the first time since entering the bar. The four friends turned to finally address the newcomers in the group. Clarke made the introductions, having to calm down an irritated Bellamy when Lincolns introduction to Octavia had a little too much eye contact for a generic first meeting. Anya, Lincoln and Nyko sat across from the others at the large round table. All three of them were shifting uncomfortably in their seats, clearly unsure of how to act.

“Clarke here” Murphy broke the silence pointing to Clarke, finding the tension in the air suffocating. So he thought, what better way then to tell stories about the only common factor to every person in the room.

Clarke.

“In her adolescence” He continued, gesturing to the young blonde with his beer bottle “is what some would have called a ‘party girl’” he finished, gesturing wildly with air quotes.

“_In_ my Adolescence? Really Murphy? I’m seventeen! I’m still in my adolescence!” Clarke interjected, the humor in her voice evident from the smile on her face.

“Party girl?” Nyko asked ignoring the blondes outburst, furrowing his eyebrows at Clarke like he was trying to see something specific he hadn’t seen before. Octavia raised her hand to silence the other two, having decided she’d like to be the one to explain this story.

“Okay so Clarke wasn’t always the level headed, mature, organized person you see in front of you today”

“Ha! Organized…” Murphy mumbled into his bottle.

“Hey!” Clarke laughed, lightly hitting Murphy on the arm.

“ANYWAY…” Octavia raised her voice, waiting for anyone else to interrupt before she continued “In the beginning of all this, before everything was looted to shit Clarke here had herself a _slight_ problem…” she drifted off, causing Clarke to roll her eyes.

“It wasn’t a _problem_, I just enjoyed drinking while there was still something to drink” Clarke said with a shrug. Bellamy laughed and shook his head, leaning on the table to look at the three across from them.

“We were all delinquents in the middle of an apocalypse, we were _all_ idiots the first few months.”

“If it weren’t for Clarke we would probably all be dead, but when she did decide to join in on the party, she could drink all of us under the table” Octavia said, bumping her shoulder with Clarke’s as the blonde blushed in embarrassment.

“Yeah and still be able to wake us up at the ass crack of dawn with that stupid smirk on her face” Murphy joined in, chuckling and leaning back in his chair.

“On that note I’m going to the bathroom” Clarke said taking one last sip of her drink before standing up and heading back towards the hallway she had come from.

“Don’t forget to bring someone! It could be _dangerous_ out there!” Bellamy yelled after her mockingly.

“Ha ha ha” Clarke responded dryly, refusing to turn around and address him as she flipped him off before turning down the hall.

* * *

“Well that’s a side of Blondie I wasn’t expecting” Anya muttered, breaking the silence that fell over the group. “You think I could get one of those?” she gestured to the beer in Murphy’s hand. Nyko leaned over towards the General.

“The medications you are taking for the pain should not be taken with alcohol Anya…” He reminded her, watching her face fall in disappointment.

“But I, fortunately, have no life threatening injuries so I will take one if you don’t mind” Lincoln asked, trying to ignore the glare he was receiving from his General as Octavia stood to grab him a beer.

“So, Octavia is it?” Anya asked when the small brunette returned, leaning over slightly, to hand Lincoln the beer. A small smile graced his lips as their fingers grazed, and she sat back down before answering.

“The one and only”

“So what exactly did you mean before when you said Clarke had a problem?” There was a deafening silence that filled the room. The Blake siblings and Murphy seeming to fidget in their seats. Anya raised a brow, waiting patiently for an answer. Realizing nobody else was going to say anything, Bellamy downed the remainder of his beer, before speaking.

“Everyone took all the bullshit differently... I mean, the fucking end of the world doesn’t always effect people physically.” He shook his head, a memory seeming to take him over for a moment. “Some of us locked up within ourselves, some of us succumbed to the grief... and others… like in Clarke’s case…”

“Drank away the nightmares” Six pairs of eyes snapped up to the newcomer in the room. Clarke stood there, arms crossed in front of her chest. Her eyes were hollow, like she wasn’t really looking at them. Anya could see Clarke beginning to fight with her inner demons, so she cleared her throat and stood up.

“I hate to be the one to cut this party short, but we really better get going. We have many supplies to unload before we return to Trikru.” The older blonde said, grabbing the dagger she unsheathed from her thigh and strapping it back on.

“Wait return to Trikru? What the fuck is Trikru?” Octavia asked as she followed everyone else out the back of the bar.

“And where the hell is Finn?”

* * *

Octavia was able to squeeze in the jeep so they didn’t have to make two trips and Clarke was able to fill her in on everything on the way there. Everyone seeming to know that the conversation at the Dropship was done, nobody daring to bring it up again. 

After only a few minutes Clarke had told Octavia everything. How she escaped the Mountain and Anya saving her life. Which Anya made sure to interject during times, Clarke herself, had done the saving. How she had ran into the guys at Trikru outpost while she was still healing, and about Finn now _technically_ being a prisoner of Trikru. Then she finished with the recalling of the accident, and their entire journey to this point. Enhanced Z’s and all. 

Octavia did well and remained quiet the entire time, the slight gasps that escaped the small brunettes mouth were the only indication Clarke had that she was following along. By the end Clarke was honestly amazed they were all still alive. She apparently wasn’t the only one hearing it out loud for the first time.

“Holy shit…” Murphy whispered, looking at the seat in front of him to keep from looking at anyone else. “We literally almost died guys…” He finally looked up, a smile plastered on his face instead of a frown, Clarke furrowed her brow in confusion.

“Were like fucking gods!” Murphy pronounced, fist bumping the air in victory. Everyone was silent for a second before the entire jeep burst out into laughter. Replacing the small tension filled space with a much needed warmth.

Maybe a little humor, after such darkness the past few days, wasn’t such a bad thing. They seemed to all find comfort in it.

When the laughter died down the questions began. Octavia’s main focus was on Finn, which was what Clarke was expecting. What she wasn’t expecting was for Lincoln, who had remained silent for the short ride thus far, to offer Octavia an explanation on Coalition ways. For her to understand why Finns punishment is so harsh, accident or not, she needed to learn about the reservations history and laws. He had offered himself as her guide. To Clarkes’ amusement and Bellamys’ annoyance Octavia was enthralled, accepting Lincolns offer with a graceless hug (The amount of people and space in the jeep making movement limited).

By the time the conversation died down and Murphy settled a grumbling Bellamy they had reached the mall. Anya slowed down as they neared the building, knowing a makeshift outpost could have a number of traps surrounding the facility.

“Yeah just stop right here for a second and let me out” Octavia said, gesturing for them to pull up a few feet from the mall. When the vehicle was stopped Octavia jumped out, reaching back in for her bag and rummaging through it. When she found what she was looking for her face practically lit up. Clarke smiled softly, she had to admit she missed Octavias’ way of seeing the positives in the smallest things. Before she was taken, she was beginning to get worried about the small brunette. The light seemed to be dimming from her eyes as the hope of food and salvation faded each passing day. Looking at her now, it seemed Clarke had nothing to worry about. She appeared to be back to her old self.

Finding a permanent place to call home can do that to someone.

“Octavia to the Ark, come in” the item she was searching for was a radio, that she had firmly in her hands as she stared at the building waiting for a response.

“Wait!” Bellamy hollered to his sister, struggling to get out of the jeep. “You guys were able to get the radios working?” Octavia nodding enthusiastically.

“Hell yeah! Raven got them working a few days after you guys left” Octavia said, frowning as she looked back down at the device in her hands “The only problem is their frequency isn’t very far right now, Ravens been working on it, but we mainly use them to move in and out of the building now.” Anya put the jeep in park and had joined the others, her curiosity suddenly peaked.

“So your security defenses are mainly inside?” The lack of defensive measures becoming troublesome to Anya. Octavia didn’t seem to register Anyas’ uneasiness continuing to fiddle with the radio in her hands as she answered.

“All of them are inside, General” She responded before she began walking closer to the building, realizing the radio wont work unless she shortened the distance. Anya clenched her teeth in annoyance ordering Lincoln to drive, choosing to follow the small brunette. An amused Clarke and Bellamy deciding to follow on foot as well. Before Lincoln could take the jeep out of park Nyko had jumped out, grumbling about his age and needing to stand to stretch out his legs. Everyone knew the truth though: he was sticking close to Anya, making sure she didn’t overexert herself.

“Octavia to the Ark, come in” the small brunette repeated into her radio as she grew closer. Lincoln doing his part by making sure to stay a few feet behind them, inching up slowly in the jeep. Anya respectfully stayed silent long enough to realize they weren’t getting a response before she continued her barraging. 

“Can you explain to me why a group of people trying to make permanent residence in a building this large, doesn’t have any sort of outside defense?” Anya asked, her General side coming out in full force before she could stop it. She just couldn’t understand how anyone would feel safe, especially a group as small as theirs, in a place this large-with no other defense but themselves. 

“It really isn’t what you think” Bellamy spoke up, realizing when his sister was choosing to ignore someone. Anya turned her attention to him, dropping back a few steps to walk beside him, Clarke on his other side silently listening in.

“Then what is it?” she challenged, because she was genuinely curious, the building itself was preposterous. There were windows everywhere! The architecture looked to be modern, which meant it was built within the last few years, which was good. Yet, based on the size and how much open space surrounded them, it made Anya uneasy. As much as she’d hate to admit it, she has grown fond of Clarke, and doesn’t wish for her to stay in a place that isn’t safe.

She definitely couldn’t admit to anyone that Lexa gave her a direct order to make sure their defenses were solid before even thinking about returning. Whether she was needed back or not.

Neither Commander or General broke eye contact after the order was given. Lexa daring her General to challenge her and Anya not backing down from the challenge. In that request, in that small command, was a silent plea that only Anya could hear. The General chose not to use words, having to only lift an eyebrow, a tacit question drifting between the two. A question that would have gone unnoticed, had anyone else been in the room. A question answered with one simple nod from her Heda, an answer that shouldn’t have surprised Anya, but had her confused and stunned nevertheless. 

Clarke was important to Lexa.

“We don’t use the entire mall…well not yet anyway, we’ve only opened the north side of the building for now.” Bellamy said, bringing Anya back to reality.

“Not anymore big bro!” Octavia called behind her, having been listening to them the entire time.

“What do you mean?!” Murphy yelled from the jeep, the top of his body and head peeking out through the sky roof. Clarke rolled her eyes as she stared at Murphy.

“You’re such a lazy sac of shit Murph” Clarke said, chuckling as she turned back around.

“How the fuck am I the lazy one?! Lincoln is in here too!” He tried to defend himself, realizing how weak his argument was the second it left his lips.

“Murphy, just shut the fuck up and sit back down would yah?!” Octavia screamed, turning around and scolding him. She was having trouble finding a clear connection and needed to concentrate. He quickly got the hint, slowly sinking down back into the jeep.

“Octavia to the Ark! Come in!” She tried again, this time picking up a static response, she cheered realizing she was close. She started playing with the knobs as she answered Murphy’s question, moving a few steps closer to the building. 

“We have a few more people now” She said with a shrug “More people means more space is needed” 

“More people?” Clarke asked, her voice coming out more hoarse than she had intended. As much as she could see her friends had been taking care of things since she’s been gone, she knows they’ll expect her to pick up her leader roll as if she had never left. And as much as she is willingly taking it now, accepting it for what it was. It didn’t stop the gnawing feeling she got at the pit of her stomach at the thought she wasn’t going to be good enough.

She wasn’t going to be what they needed.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice coming over the radio.

_“Octavia, are you alright?”_ Clarke could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she began picking up pace. She knew that voice, she knew that voice from miles away. She felt her chest tighten as emotions swirled within her. She thought she’d never see her again.

“Hey Rae! I’m great! Open up the underground parking in the east wing and I can show you why” Octavia said, her grin becoming infectious as she looked at the others behind her.

_“The underground parking? O, you weren’t permitted to take one of the cars… you haven’t even signed off!”_ Raven answered, making Clarke smile. She was always the organized one, anything Clarke learned was from her. Quickly before Octavia had time to reply Clarke stepped up next to her, ripping the radio from her hand.

“Rae, just open the damn door so I can fucking hug you, god dammit!” Clarke said, letting go of the button. Only a few seconds had passed with no response, until they could hear the sound of metal doors opening. 

“This way!” Octavia said, running towards the back side of the building. Coming around the corner they can see an entrance to an underground parking structure attached to the mall. The metal doors now open allowing them passage. Octavia motioned them in while she stayed behind to help direct Lincoln on where to park the jeep. To Clarkes’ amusement she also added the fact he would need help unpacking the jeep, so she motioned for the others to walk up the stairs to the left and it would lead them upstairs.

Clarke hadn’t taken two steps up the stairs before her ears picked up rumbling, uneven footsteps heading their way.

fast.

“What the hell is that?” Anya asked, looking at Clarke for an answer. The younger blonde just smiled, already knowing the answer. Choosing to ignore Anya’s question as she took two steps at a time, determined to meet her friend on flat ground. 

Just as she reached the first level and turned the corner she was knocked solidly to the ground. With a surprised squeak she wasn’t expecting she wrapped her arms firmly around her attacker, a smile on her face she didn’t think possible again. 

“ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Ican’tbelieveyou’reactuallyhere! Howdidyoumakeitoutofthathorriblefuckingplace!” Raven began rambling as her head was tucked into the crook of Clarke’s neck, refusing to let go of the blonde. Clarke just chuckled and held on tighter, ignoring the new pain in her back from the impact of the ground, and just enjoying this reunion with her friend.

When they finally let go and got off the ground everyone else, minus Lincoln and Octavia, had caught up to them. Raven took a second to take a look at everyone, eyes landing on the General.

“Holy shit Clarke, where the fuck did you go?” Raven asked, eyes bouncing between Anya and Nyko before landing back on Anya “is there some kind of hotties only outpost around here I wasn’t aware of?” She asked exasperated, not caring for how bold she was being. That’s how Ravens always been. If she noticed the faint red hue now adorning Anya and Nykos’ faces she chose to ignore it. Clarke just laughed, shaking her head at her friend.

“No, but if you walked around the place you wouldn’t be surprised if it was one” Clarke said, laughing at the exasperated look she received from Anya.

“Well just paint me green and call me a cucumber because this is amazing!” Raven said clapping her hands together. “I’m Raven by the way, since my dearly missed friend is so rude” Raven says before jabbing Clarke in the side with her elbow.

“Ow! The fuck Rae?!” Clarke grumbled, rubbing her side as a shoe was stomped into her foot “Holy Fu- Ow! Okay!! Sorry! Anya, Nyko, this is Raven” Clarke said, gesturing from them to her friend “Raven this is Anya and Nyko” she finished with a grumble, hobbling away from Raven.

“It is good to meet you Raven, Clarke has told me so much about you” Anya said, politely shaking the brunettes hand.

“Oh, well I’m hoping to get to see- I mean _learn_ so much about you” Raven said biting her lip, making a show of taking her time to check the General out. “But seeing would be good too…” The brunette slipped, entranced with the hardened stare of the most beautiful woman she has ever seen. Neither one making the first move to pull their hands away. Now having fully made eye contact for the first time since meeting, seems to have put them in a trance.

Clarke cleared her throat, trying to get either of them to snap out of it. Nyko, Bellamy and Murphy all moved away from the pair, coming to stand behind Clarke. They all just stood there huddled together in complete silence, unsure of what to do.

“Should we say something?” Nyko whispered to Clarke, uncertain on how to proceed. He had never seen the General this enamored with another. It was engrossing yet confusing for the group. Finally they didn’t have to do anything, Octavia had it covered.

“Oh my god can you both stop making heart eyes at each other and move! You’re blocking the stairs” She said, causing them to break apart as she pushed her way through them. She was smiling as she passed Clarke, giving her a wink to let her know she did that on purpose. Clarke laughed, yeah she definitely missed her friends.

* * *

Raven gave them a quick tour of the building, making sure to show Bellamy and Murphy the additions they added while they were gone. Clarke had to say, she was very impressed with what they’ve accomplished so far. The main space, or common room that they’ve made was made out of part of the food court. The various kitchens and booths used to keep their food and water. Fortunately, there was a furniture store on the north side of the mall they had used to collect couches and chairs for a makeshift common area. The rooms were on the far north side of the structure, they had knocked down two walls, connecting three stores into one room. Making it easier for, Monroe, one of the new members of the Ark, to build separate spaces. Using her carpentry skills, she found wood and other scrap around the area and was able to make enough rooms for more people, if need be.

Walking into the security rooms set up on the North side, Raven showed them the control room. There were various computer screens lined against the back wall connected to the cameras around the room. Raven explained she was able to get them working once, but they suck too much power from the generators she wasn’t about to keep them up for long. She was currently working on a way to get solar power and in the long run, hopefully, making the need for generators unnecessary.

Raven finished the tour with what she classified as ‘Ravens Dome.’ She had cleared out one of the mechanics garages’ in the Sears that connected the north and east wings. Using the open garage space for her various inventions, and the back office for her sleeping corridors. She had gutted the entire office, making sure it no longer looked like anything but Ravens bedroom. Clarke smiled at how much everything looked like her friend. She had made sure to put her special touches on everything. 

Octavia had excused herself at the end of the tour, deciding to take the initiative and show Anya, Lincoln and Nyko their beds for the night. Clarke had a feeling she had an ulterior motive behind the suggestion, but she didn’t question it. Deciding to store it in the back of her mind to tease the small brunette mercilessly about it later. A few minutes passed until Bellamy and Murphy also took there leave, wanting to check on their things and clean up. 

Leaving Clarke alone with Raven.

The blonde just stood in the middle of the garage, watching as Raven coasted from one workbench to the next. Picking up various tools and mumbling incoherent nonsense to herself. Clarke smiled to herself, watching her best friend in her true element again was a refreshing sight. When Clarke had left Raven last time the brunettes leg wasn’t in good shape. Clarke had feared the worst. 

The memory snapped her back to reality as she looked down at her friends leg, tilting her head to get a better look at the contraption now around it. Raven must have noticed her interest, clearing her throat before speaking.

“It’s a brace” Raven answered, coming around one of her workbenches to stand in front of Clarke, making a show of doing a little pose. “Isn’t it gorgeous? Made from the finest of metals, darling!” Raven said, using her old fashion rich womans' accent, that always could make Clarke laugh. 

Today was no exception.

Clarke couldn’t keep the smile off her face, even if the conversation was more serious. She just missed her friends more than she realized, not knowing if she was ever going to see them again.

“Does it hurt?” Clarke asks, coming closer and bending down to get a better look. The metal seemed pliable, making it easier for her to bend her knee at the joint. The construction was solid as well, which wasn’t a surprise to Clarke. It is Raven after all.

“Eh, it has it’s good days and bad” Raven said with a shrug of her shoulders, taking a towel to wipe her hands off before pulling two chairs up for them to sit. 

“So, as much as I’ve missed you and am hobbling for glee now that you’re back” Raven started, sighing and fixing a hard glare on Clarke “I’m so fucking pissed at you. And it’s going to take a lot of groveling to get on my good side again”

“Wait-what?” Clarke asked, now completely confused. Unsure of what she could have done to Raven a month ago for her to still be upset about it.

“You left” The brunette said softly, her eyes now looking anywhere but Clarkes’. “You let the mountain take you… and you left me…” Ravens eyes grew glossy as fresh tears threatened to escape. Clarke felt her heart break as she stared at her vulnerable best friend. She hadn’t even thought about it at the time, but it has always been the two of them. With Clarke out of the picture Raven probably felt it was her responsibility to take everything on. And even though she was living everyday with the knowledge her best friend (practically sister) abandoned her, she was still carrying the group. 

“Raven…” Clarke croaked out, unsure why her voice was so shaky. She reached out and took the brunettes hand. “I’m so sorry I left, I’m so sorry you’ve had the burden of everything on your shoulders.” blue eyes looked down at their hands, lightly squeezing the one she was holding. “I can’t say that I would change what I did. Or that I regret it, because I don’t” Clarke said with conviction, now making eye contact with Raven again. She can see the sadness swimming behind those muddy pools. “But what I _do_ regret is leaving you… There wasn’t one day that went by I didn’t think of you, Rae”

“Ah shit” Raven said, wiping her tears with the hand that wasn’t holding Clarkes’ “I swear, if I wasn’t living through this, I’d think this was a fucking lifetime movie” she chuckled.

“Nah, there’s too many cliffhangers. It would be a weekly show” Clarke said, laughing along. Always welcoming her friends way of lightly changing the subject.

“Oh!” Raven said, jumping up from her chair, wincing slightly at the speed before hobbling over to her makeshift bedroom. A couple minutes later she walked out with something in her hands, a cloth covering the top. “I kept this, cause honestly I knew deep down you’d be coming back” the brunette said with a smile as she handed the item to Clarke.

The blonde smiled in appreciation as she slowly removed the protective cloth wrapped around it. Her eyes widened as she dropped the cloth to the floor, running her fingers over the front cover of her sketch book. In the same condition she had left it. Not one page missing or torn. 

“Thank you Rae… Thank you so much!” Clarke practically squealed, jumping up and wrapping Raven in a hug. The brunette laughed, reciprocating the hug with just as much vigor.

“Of course, don’t act so surprised would you? It’s a notebook, not a puppy” Raven said, trying to brush off the appreciation. Clarke just rolled her eyes, shaking her head and pressing the notebook to her chest. 

“I love you Rae, thank you for not giving up on me” Clarke said just above a whisper. “But there is something we need to talk about…” she finished, unsure. She knew she needed to tell Raven about Finn, but this was the first time she actually thought about how she was going to do it. Raven laughed, yanking her from her train of thought as the brunette threw an arm over her shoulder.

“I love you too… And you’re right, there is a lot we need to catch up on. But first let me show you where you’ll be sleeping. You’re gonna love me even more!” Raven said with enthusiasm, practically bouncing as she led them out of her garage.

* * *

Raven wasn’t wrong about Clarke loving her even more. The room designated for her was down the hall from the control room. It looked like it used to be the mall staffs break room. A stove and sink on one wall, and a ‘staff only’ on-sweet bathroom next to the kitchenette. 

Raven had this room gutted as well, a queen bed and a small sitting area could fit in the petite space. Raven had three walls painted white so Clarke could ‘make it her own’ and she made sure Monroe made the last wall a chalkboard wall. So, according to Raven, Clarke can do all her ‘badass leader planning.’ One corner of the room held what looked like an entire stores art supplies. While the other room held a dresser with some drawers and a T.V.

“You put a T.V. in here?” Clarke asked, amused.

“You never know what we’ll eventually get to work again” Raven shrugged “I put one in all the rooms, it’s a good goal to work towards” she finished, sitting on one of the sitting chairs. 

“You mean what you and Monty will be able to get to work again” Clarke said instantly regretting her words at the look of sorrow taking over Ravens’ features. Before Clarke could ask they heard a light knock, looking up to see Octavia standing in the doorway.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, but your General friend seems to be growing impatient, Clarke and wants to have a meeting.” Octavia said, eyeing both girls cautiously, realizing she walked in at a bad time. Clarke sighed and rubbed her face with her hands, nodding she looked at Raven.

“Where’s a good place to have a group meeting?” She asked, deciding to wait until everyone was together to get the full story of what happened since she was gone. 

“The room down the hall, it connects to the control room. There’s a long table set up in there for large meetings” Raven answered, standing up and motioning for Clarke to follow her and Octavia.

When they reached the room they allowed Clarke to walk in first. When she entered, Anya, Bellamy and Lincoln were already there. Murphy was tasked with getting Nyko who they were currently waiting on.

Clarke stepped further into the room, feeling the cold wrap around her throat, constricting her from taking a large breath. Her eyes connected with Anyas’ back, who was currently too focused on the bulletin board she was staring at. Clarke looked at all the pictures and newspaper clippings around the room. Everything was about Mount Weather. Every picture, every note, every word was about Mount Weather. Clarke could feel her feet begin to go numb as her throat tightened around a silent plea. She hadn’t thought being this close, yet not close at all, to Mount Weather would do this to her. 

Yet, here she was, about to crumple to the floor in her panic.

“Clarke?” Anyas’ voice filtered through the echo of her heartbeat in her ears. She tried to close her eyes, tried to take a deep breath. She couldn’t. She could only tremble as flashbacks of dark filled memories took over her thoughts.

“Clarke you need to breathe” That was Bellamy, or was that Murphy? Clarke couldn’t tell. She could only focus on the trembling of her body as the numb tendrils clung to her skin threatening to swallow her whole.

“W-what is all of this?” She managed to croak out, opening her eyes to see nothing but concern staring back at her. Octavia decided to be the one to break up the awkward silence that fell over the room. Nobody else wanting to make the blonde any worse than she already was.

Her friends weren’t used to seeing her like this.

“After you were taken we started doing research on Mount Weather. At first it wasn’t much. We were still on the road, hoping to survive another day, still trying to scrounge daily for food and water. But when we found this place” Octavia said, gesturing around the room with her hands “We were able to get more… see more. We scouted for weeks, taking pictures, figuring out their schedules. We were getting somewhere, we were so close to figuring out how the fuck to bring that place down when…” She trailed off, eyes closing as a memory came flooding back to her. By the slight tremble in her lip, Clarke knew it wasn’t good. Her heart beat picked up as she searched each of her peoples eyes. Nobody wanted to look at her. 

Nobody, except Raven.

When their eyes connected it was like Clarke got slapped across the face. She felt her stomach clench as bile threatened to escape her throat.

“Who?” Was the only word she could get out passed the nausea threatening to make it’s escape. Raven took a deep breath as she kept eye contact with Clarke, knowing her friend needed to hear this.

“Jasper and Monty. They were on a scouting mission with Octavia and Bell when they were ambushed…” 

“They were coming at us from all sides, we all knew we’d be taken” Octavia joined in, her gaze staying on her feet as the story was retold.

“We didn’t realize Monty had a Molotov on him. Apparently he had made a few, just in case. But he was able to cause enough of a distraction for us to get away.” Bellamy said, walking towards Clarke as he saw the light begin to fade from her eyes.

“But Jasper wouldn’t leave him behind…” Raven finished, letting Clarke fill in the blanks on her own.

“So… they were both taken?” She asked hesitantly. The room grew silent, nobody daring to be the one to answer. Anya, Nyko and Lincoln were all in the corner of the room, remaining respectively quiet during the whole conversation. 

Yet still… the room remained silent.

The silence was deafening to Clarke.

“Will someone just answer the fucking question?!” she was getting angry now, as she watched them all try to avoid her gaze. Thankfully, she knew Murphy didn’t give a fuck, so she fixed her gaze on him. The only person willing to look at her back. They stood there, neither blinking. In a silent challenge against the other.

Murphy broke first. With a sigh he broke his stare, taking a deep breath.

“Monty was taken Clarke… When Jasper went back for him they tried to capture him too but he fought too hard…”

“The last thing I saw was Jasper falling…” Octavia whispered, one tear cascading down her cheek.

“Jasper’s dead.” Clarke said, it wasn’t a question, it was now a new fact she had to come to terms with. 

A new reality she was now forced to deal with.

Jasper’s dead and Monty’s missing…

She gripped the table in front of her to keep herself steady. She hasn’t even been back to being leader for a day and she already wanted to bail.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


	14. Doll Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven finds out about Finn, but someone else told her before Clarke could. Anya and Clarke get into a heated argument, and Clarke works on taking back some power.

Clarke could hardly hear anything besides her heartbeat hammering relentlessly in her ears. The burning sensation at the pit of her stomach growing as it moved to her core. Opening her eyes she was met with dark, lust filled green orbs staring back at her. The moan caught in her throat as she felt slim fingers coaxing their way between her legs. She could feel how wet she was, practically dripping all over the mattress she currently occupied. Lexa smirked, running her slender fingers through Clarkes' wet folds, feeling the blonde arch into her hand with every stroke. 

Clarke could barely control the moans escaping her lips. All she could feel was the brunette on top of her. Her calloused fingers working her into oblivion. She could feel the burn begin to consume her center, but she desperately needed more. She needed Lexa to fill her, needed her powerful fingers pumping her into ecstasy. Lexa leaned down, just as her fingers began tracing circles around the place she needed her most. She could feel soft breaths hit the nape of her neck, making the hair instantly rise. Teeth lightly grazed her lobe before a delicate voice spoke.

“Tell me what you want, Clarke” The click of the ‘k’ in her name causing a warm tingle to run up her spine. A needy whimper escaped her before she realized, her hands gripping at Lexa’s firm back. She opened her mouth to beg to be filled, fucked, taken. Anything that would give her what she so desperately craved from the brunette at that moment. But as she went to respond, Lexa had suddenly sat up, looking down at the blonde with remorse.

“Sorry Clarke, but you have to wake up.” Lexa said reaching her hand out for the blonde to take. Clarke took the offered hand, staring at the brunette in confusion.

“What?” She stood, her body so close to the Lexas’ she was sure she could feel her heartbeat, even through the layers of clothes. Lexa bent down, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear before kissing her on her cheek.

“Wake up” 

“Wait, I don’t under-”

“Clarke wake the fuck up would you!? We have a problem!” Murphy’s voice broke through her subconscious, waking her up instantly as he banged on her door. She grumbled, annoyed she was awoken from a dream she didn’t want to stop. She looked down at the clothes she wore, now sticking to her sweat covered body. She groaned, knowing her sheets probably needed to be changed and the underwear she currently wore, disposed of. 

Another three loud knocks broke her from her thoughts as she rolled her eyes, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“I hear you Murph! I’m fucking awake so cut it out!”

“Okay, well Anya is about to start throwing things soon, I’m sure, so you better hurry the fuck up!” He quickly grumbled through the door before she heard him walk away. She huffed and fell back onto her bed, already having a feeling her first full day at Arkadia-Skies was not going to be an easy one.

* * *

After she washed up and changed her clothes she begrudgingly left her room. At first she wasn’t sure if she was going the right way, until she heard Raven and Anya’s arguing growing louder as she grew near.

“He killed one of our own! What would you have us do?! Raise him on a fucking pedestal?!”

“It was clearly an accident! Finn wouldn’t just _kill_ someone in cold blood! And now he’s locked in your dumb outpost to await a death he doesn’t deserve!”

“He took a _life_, he deserves to die. Blood must have blood, it’s as simple as that.”

It’s not that simple! Oh my _gawd!_ You’re so lucky I can’t blow you up right now!” 

Clarke stopped just outside of Ravens garage, hearing a loud crash of something hitting the floor. Her heart jumped to her throat as it started beating erratically. Anya or one of the guys must have let it slip about Finn. Clarke internally cursed herself for not saying something the night before. She had become so overwhelmed with the news of the others that she completely spaced on filling Raven in on Finn. She closed her eyes and willed herself to take a few calming breaths. She knew this conversation wasn’t going to be a good one to begin with, but now that she wasn’t the one to tell Raven first, it was going to be so much worse.

After a few minutes of silence, she figured the two were done, so after willing her heartbeat to slow down, Clarke finally opened the door. The sight she walked in on was not one she was expecting.

Raven was sitting on one of her work benches, the electronics and tech that once occupied the table were now strewn all over the floor. Between her legs was Anya, her hands roaming up the brunette’s body as they’re faces and tongues clashed in a heated battle for dominance. Clarke instantly froze, a small squeak fell from her mouth as she instantly turned around. She could feel the heat creeping up her neck to her cheeks. They both stopped and turned their heads when they heard her enter. 

“_You!_” Raven yelled threateningly, pushing Anya away from her and hopping off the table. Her hands clenched into tiny fists as she stomped her way fiercely towards Clarke.

“How the fuck could you not tell me about Finn?!” Raven screamed, grabbing her by the back of the shoulder and forcing the blonde to turn around and face her. She seemed to either be completely oblivious to what Clarke just walked in on, or she just didn’t give a damn right now.

Either option did not bode well for Clarke.

Anya had surprisingly stayed quiet, deciding to take the time to stride around the various workbenches admiring the different tech she could see. She knew this was a private conversation needed to be had between them. She already felt bad enough she was the one who told Raven. But when the brunette asked about her missing friend, Anya didn’t have the heart to lie or ignore her question. Something pulled her to the strange tech genius. And even though she didn’t understand it, she refused to ignore it.

“Raven I-”

“No! No Clarke! Anya told me everything, you don’t have to fucking worry about it!” Raven threw her hands up in the air, beginning to pace in front of Clarke. “You and I both know he didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Yes I know that bu-”

“And we both know he wouldn’t be capable of just _killing_ someone!” The brunette screamed, her hands and arms becoming very animated in her anger.

“I know but list-”

“Do you have _any_ idea of what he was going through after you were taken!?” Raven turned on her, the anger in her eyes boring into Clarkes’ making her flinch and take a step back. “Did Bellamy and Murphy tell you about all the sleepless nights with him? The countless times I had to reassure him that even if he was there he wouldn’t have been able to change anything.” 

Clarke opened her mouth to speak but found she had nothing to say. Bellamy and Murphy hadn’t told her much of anything about how they fared since she’s been gone. And she now regrets the fact that she hadn’t even thought to ask. Her heart sank when she realized that Raven had been through more than she’d even let on. Her fury showing Clarke more than words ever could. The brunette kept her stinging glare for another full minute before sighing and breaking eye contact. Her rage seemed to fade as a sadness replaced it, her brown eyes reaching Clarkes’ but not really looking at her.

“The only reason we have so much information on the Mountain is because of him. He wouldn’t give up, Clarke. He felt he was somewhat responsible and wouldn’t stop until he found you.” Her words came out softer than any of the others and Clarke could feel the energy change in the room. Her anger replaced with fear and sorrow. It broke Clarkes’ heart and she couldn’t help but pull her friend into a hug.

“Oh Rae, I’m such a fucking idiot, I had no idea. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you myself.” Clarke said, letting her friend nuzzle her face into her neck. “I swear to you I didn’t just leave him there to die. I’ve worked it out with the Commander to hold off until we can have an open defense against his actions” Raven nodded solemnly against her neck, her grip on Clarke tightening. It seemed to be a never ending thing for them, lose one member just to gain another. 

Every fucking time.

Just as silence took over, Anya softly cleared her throat to get both girls attention. When they looked up, both girls refusing to let go of the other, the older blonde made her way slowly over to them, crossing her hands behind her back.

“I don’t mean to interrupt but I happened to have overheard some things…” Anya began hesitantly. Uncomfortable was an understatement to how two emotional women in the same room as her, made her feel. She turned to look at Raven, the slight sheen in her brown eyes showing she was close to tears. The sight weakened Anya, and all she wanted was to be the one holding the small brunette in her arms.

“If what you say about Finn is true, he would be the one out of all of you, besides Clarke and I, to know the most about the Mountain, yes?” Anya asked, still looking at Raven. The small brunettes brows furrowed in concentration as she began to put the pieces together in her head. When they finally clicked, Anya could have sworn she saw the light bulb turn on above her head.

“That’s it!” Raven jumped up, grabbing Anya by the collar of her shirt and pulling her in for a searing kiss. Clarke quickly jumped back, making a mental note to ask Raven what the hell this was, later. “You’re brilliant, doll face!” Raven finished before quickly leaving the garage and heading down the hall, mumbling something incoherently about having to check something in the conference room. 

That left Anya and Clarke alone, both standing there in stunned silence. Clarke glanced to the older blonde, unable to keep the giggle from escaping at the look of pure bliss on Anyas’ face. Anya looked over at Clarke when she heard her laugh, her smile instantly faded replaced by a sneer.

“What?” 

“Doll face?” Clarke asked, trying to keep the laugh sitting in the back of her throat at bay. Anya just growled and shook her head, choosing to ignore the younger blonde. 

They both decided to follow the small brunette out of the room, even though she was already out of sight they knew where she went. Anya didn’t hesitate in showing her annoyance with Clarke who had taken the small walk as an opportunity to keep teasing, staying on Anya’s heels as she made fake kissing noises on the way to the conference room.

“Come on An! You gotta tell me _something!_ You know I’m just going to get it out of Raven later!” Clarke continued trying to pry any information out of the older blonde as she could, proceeding to get nowhere in her efforts. She only received the occasional grunt or eye roll from the other woman. Knowing her efforts were futile, Clarke decided to go old school. Something about Anya brought on a teasing nature to Clarke. A fun giddy feeling always pooled in her chest when her and the other blonde were joking around. She never questioned it, just reveled in the feeling of being a kid again, even if it were only for a few minutes.

“Raven and Anya sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N- OW! Fuck Anya!” Clarke grumbled, rubbing her arm where Anya just punched her. The older blonde just smirked at her, shrugging her shoulders as they reached the room. 

Raven was already puttering around, ignoring the two new bodies in the room as she continued mumbling to herself. Anya tilted her eyebrow up in wonder, experiencing the genius at work for the first time. Anya had come to enjoy the way Ravens’ brain functioned. It seemed to operate at a speed that even the small brunette had trouble keeping up with. Making every normal person around her automatically inferior to her genius. Something about that was intriguing to Anya. Intellect was always a turn on for the older blonde, and Raven had intellect times ten and that stirred something inside of her.

“Uh, Rae? You gonna fill us in here?” Clarke said, breaking the silence in the room. Raven stopped what she was doing, turning around to face the other two, just now seeming to have noticed they were there.

“Oh shit! Yeah sorry, I just had a thought, and needed to check something.. come here-” She said, waving both women over to her. She was staring at a large handmade map that was unrolled on the long table. Taking a closer look, both blondes instantly knew what it was. 

“Mount Weather…” Both blondes said at the same time. Making all three women look at each other strangely.

“Okayyyy… So that was weird - But yeah, it’s Mount Weather. What we were able to figure out so far. Well… What Finn was able to anyway.” 

“Wait, Finn drew this?” Clarke asked, now noticing how intricately detailed it was. It was only what could be seen from the outside but it was spot on. He even figured out two entrances that even Clarke didn’t realize were there. 

“Yeah” Raven said, nodding her head “like I said Clarke, he was obsessed. After the initial shock wore off, he focused all of his energy on finding a way inside.” Raven shook her head, looking back down at the map. “He spent so much time on it that he lost sleep. Sometimes I would find him crawling in just as the sun rises saying he was out scouting all night.”

“He seems like a dedicated friend” Anya stated, seeming to gain some more respect for the little mouse. If what Raven is saying is true, she knew they would need him to get close to the mountain. Which could in turn save their friends life.

“He is…” Raven responded sadly, looking back down at all of Finns work in front of her. Clarke saw a dark mark at the corner of her vision, tilting her head to see one of the stacks of paper on the table next to the map. Reaching out, she slipped the paper with the mark out from underneath the others. Her eyes went wide at what she saw drawn in front of her.

“Raven… what is this? Have you seen this before?” Clarke asked, laying the paper on the map in front of all three of them. Anya immediately recognized the picture and understood why Clarke questioned Raven.

“Huh? Oh this?” Raven asked, squinting to look at the drawing “Damn that’s creepy, what kind of walker is that?” She asked, grabbing the paper and picking it up to take a closer look. Clarke swallowed down the bile that threatened to escape as she looked at Anya.

“That is what the Mountain have been creating out of people. They seem to be enhanced versions of rotters” Anya answered, knowing Clarke needed a moment to recuperate.

“Wait, you’re saying this thing is real?” Raven asked, pointing to the paper in her hand and looking at the other two who just nodded in answer. Raven let out a low whistle as she looked back at the paper.

“Damn that’s rough. I wonder why Finn never told us about them? He must have run into them to have drawn them” Raven said.

“I don’t know Rae, these things aren’t just creepy but extremely smart and strong. If he’s seen them, I don’t think they saw him.” Clarke answered, running a hand through her hair and taking a deep breath. “We need to see Finn. Now.” she said, unable to hold back any longer. She needed to find answers, the constant unknown about everything was getting annoying, and she was done being in the dark about everything. 

“We can’t” Anyas’ voice cut through her own mental ranting as she turned to face the older blonde. 

“What do you mean ‘we can’t’”? Clarke said, trying to keep the growing anger from overwhelming her. Anya met her gaze with soft eyes, but with a determination that could only remind her of Lexa.

“I was given orders not to leave until there was a proper form of defense in place” Both women looked at the General like she grew two heads right in front of them. Unsure if they should feel insulted by the implication they couldn’t protect themselves, or flattered by the extra help. Clarke raised an eyebrow at her, as she tilted her head walking closer towards the other blonde.

“An order huh? I’m guessing the Commander gave this order?” Clarke asked, her voice lowering menacingly as she grew closer. Anya cleared her throat, refusing to let the blonde fluster her. 

“The Commander is the only one who can give me direct orders.” Anya answered, making sure to keep her ground. Clarke stopped when she was inches from Anyas’ face. Their noses barely touching, neither woman refusing to break the others glare. Raven remained silent through the entire interaction. Finding both blondes intimidating when they were against each other. She wasn’t too worried about the outcome though, if she knew anything about Clarke, she always found loopholes.

Clarke was the first to break, with a dramatic shrug of her shoulders as she tossed her hands in the air.

“Oh man I guess you’re right An. She did in fact give you the order not to leave until ‘proper’ defenses are in place” Clarke smirked, shrugging her shoulders as she backed away, giving Anya her personal space back. Anya furrowed her brow at the blondes quick surrender. Eyes widening when she finally caught up to Clarkes’ scheme.

“Don’t even think about it Blondie” Anya growled out, pointing at Clarke threateningly. “You don’t leave here without me” Raven took this as her cue to leave, casually whistling as she backed out of the room, closing the door behind her. 

She knew her best friend more than anyone. In the entire two years of their relationship she has learned a lot of things. But there is one thing about the feisty blonde that will always remain true.

_Nobody_ tells Clarke what to do.

* * *

“Hey Rae, you seen Clarke?” Bellamy asked as he seen her emerge from the conference room. As she opened her mouth to respond a loud clang could be heard on the other side of the door. Bellamy looked at her wide eyed.

“Do I want to know?” He asked, pointing towards the door next to them. Raven just shook her head and motioned for him to follow her as she made her way down the hall.

“Trust me Bell, those are two blondes you do not want to get between” She said, heading towards the food court. “You have breakfast yet? I’m starving!” Raven finished, bouncing with each step she took. Bell laughed at his friends energy, something he would never get tired of. She was the only person he met that could ever keep up with his sister in that department.

“Yeah actually, famished. Anya had Murph and I on outside defense duty all day. Which is actually what I was looking for Clarke about.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “We need to go on a scrap run to make a decent perimeter fence around the outpost. The fact that we literally have none and are open to everything is something Anya is really not happy about.”

“Yeah, hot stuff really does have quite a temper. Is it safe to say that I am beyond ready to mount that?” Raven admitted so casually Bellamy actually coughed on his own spit in surprise. The brunette just laughed, elbowing him lightly in the ribs as they walked up to the food court. 

When they got their food they made their way to a table that was now occupied by Octavia, Lincoln, Murphy, Monroe and her little sister Harper. As they sat down Octavia gave Bellamy a quick introduction to the new comers and everyone grew silent enjoying their meal. Octavia was the first to break the silence.

“So, I heard you now know about Finn…” The brunette said eyeing Raven warily from across the table. Ravens eyes instantly narrowed on the other brunette as she was reminded about her coming reprimand.

“You” She said pointing at Octavia “Knew about it and didn’t tell me, for that you’re in my doghouse O!” Raven said, giving her a pointed glare. Octavia groaned and crossed her arms over her chest, knowing full well there was no point in arguing with Raven. Once you were in her doghouse only she could get you back out. She felt a slight pressure on her shoulder as Lincoln leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“What does it mean to be in Ravens doghouse?” He asked quietly, eyeing the critical brunette across the table warily. Octavia smiled at his pensiveness, she wasn’t sure what they were to each other exactly. But his arms were the ones she woke up in this morning and his lips were the ones she kissed first thing. And now his arm was draped across the back of her chair and she could feel his body heat as he grew closer. The hairs on her neck rising with the feel of his breath lightly caressing her skin. She shook her head, breaking herself out of her own thoughts to answer him.

“You literally become her bitch for however long she deems fit”

“hmm… That doesn’t seem fair” Lincoln responded, scrunching his brows in confusion. “Why do you let her place such silly, lawless rules on you guys?” He whispered back, having trouble understanding. Octavia just shrugged as she leaned further into him, laying her head on his shoulder as she smiled at him.

“She’s my best friend, and honestly one of the greatest people in my life. Her genius has saved my ass more times than I can count” She said with a soft smile, eyeing Raven from across the table as she talks very animatedly with Monroe “If it takes me being her ‘helper’ every now and then, especially when I deserve it, then it’s worth it. It’s never a real punishment, just what’s expected among friends.” She finished, smiling at her friend. Lincoln nodded, seeming to understand as he went back to his food and the light conversation at the table.

The relationship between the three girls was an interesting one to Lincoln. something forged out of tragedy and understanding. A bond not broken by death or sorrow, not torn apart by misunderstanding or grief. Siblings, without the blood ties that bind. Now that they were finally back together, he noticed the slight change in Clarke. She was still the same person he met at Trikru outpost but with a tiny change. So small that someone who wasn’t looking probably wouldn’t have known. But being as sensitive and aware as he was, Lincoln had noticed.

Clarke was happy.

* * *

“Fuck Clarke! That almost got me!”

Anya yells after ducking down quickly as a stapler nearly misses her head. This was the forth item Clarke had decided to throw at her in her rage. Anya was growing impatient waiting for the young blonde to calm herself before proceeding with the conversation.

Calmly.

“Clarke! Em pleni! (enough!)” Anya demanded, finally getting the chance to cross the room and grab the blondes wrists, holding them between both of their chests to keep her from throwing anything more.

Clarke’s ire was barely diminished and all she wanted to do was punch Anya in the fucking face. She was out of breath and furious. She couldn’t understand how everything seemed to go wrong all the time. It wasn’t even her being told she wasn’t allowed to leave that got her so angry. She was definitely pissed off, but it was the words that left Anyas’ mouth after Raven left the room that had her throwing things at the older blonde.

_“Finn’s not even there, Clarke”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“Heda removed him when she was summoned to Polis… He’s in Polis”___

_ _ _“What!?”_ _ _

_ _That’s when she threw the first thing, it didn’t take long for the others to follow. It was like one thing after the fucking other and Clarke was beginning to lose control. After receiving _that_ wonderful news, Anya proceeded to inform Clarke that they wouldn’t be leaving until after there was at least the simplest of fences on the outside. That being said, with the little supplies they currently had and the amount of supply runs they would have to make, it would be a couple of weeks until they can go to Polis._ _

_ _That was when she threw the other two items. _ _

_ _When she suggested maybe getting some help from the nearest outpost on reservation lands. Maybe coming up with some form of trade that would benefit both parties she was automatically denied. Anya, furiously shaking her head until Clarke realized that was her cue to shut the fuck up._ _

_ _ _“Coalition rules state no outposts should help others outside of reservation lands. That’s why Heda sent us to help, it was the best she could do. She had tried to send more but you decided you were too good for tha- Fuck Clarke! That almost got me!”_ _ _

_ _That’s when the stapler left her hand. She couldn’t seem to catch a fucking break and the rage took control of her._ _

_ _After Anya grabbed her wrists they stood in silence for a few minutes. Clarke seething in her fury and Anya allowing the young blonde the time to regroup. By the time Clarke was calm enough to think of anything besides punching Anya in the face, she shook her wrists from Anyas’ grip, who instantly released her._ _

_ _Clarke looked up, blue eyes shining with determination. She was tired of walking three steps forward only to be forcibly pushed four steps back. It was becoming a pattern in her life she refused to let continue. Stifling whatever anger still remained she looked up into piercing brown eyes. Just as strong and determined as her._ _

_ _“You do what you need to do, Anya” Clarke said, not bothering to wait for a response as she turned around and walked furiously back down the hall to her room. She could hear Anya trying to call her back but she didn’t give a fuck. These were her people and it seemed like ever since she met the Commander decisions were being made for her and her hold on everything was beginning to crumble._ _

_ _When she reached her rooms she quickly shut and locked the door. She wasn’t sure if Anya was following but she didn’t want anyone to bother her right now anyway. Quickly striding over to the desk she opened one of the drawers to find multiple boxes of white chalkboard chalk. Grabbing two out of the drawer and tearing open one box, she grabbed a piece of chalk looking at the large empty chalkboard wall on the empty side of the room. Biting her lip she walked over, leaning in, her hands moving on their own accord. _ _

_ _She’ll let Anya keep her here for a little bit, she knew the defenses were needed and refused to allow her people anything but safety. But when she had the chance to leave, they needed a plan. She’s not following anyone else anymore. Things seemed to go wrong at every turn and the only difference was she hadn’t been the one taking control. She was done with that._ _

_ _She was taking her power back._ _

_ _One way or another._ _

* * *

_ _Anya sighed, watching the blonde storm away to her room._ _

_ __“Goufa…”_ (child) Anya whispered, shaking her head as she watched Clarke disappear into her room with a loud slam of her door. She clenched her fists and took a deep breath. The smaller blonde was worse than Lexa was and she had to remind herself to take a deep breath and stay calm._ _

_ _Anya made her way towards the common area, having ate when she had first woke up this morning, she decided to go looking for any volunteers for a supply run. She came out of the back hallway to voices drifting in from the food court. Raven was the first one to spot her as she made her way over to the others. The brunette was in the middle of scream laughing about something Octavia had said when she noticed the rough look on Anyas’ face, halting her mid-laugh. Everyone around the table noticed the change in the genius as they all turned to look at a very annoyed Anya. They all seemed to be giving her the look of a lost puppy._ _

_ _“What?” She asked, a lot more sharply than intended. She couldn’t stand being the center of attention and it seemed like she couldn’t get away from it here._ _

_ _Raven was the only one brave enough to speak, as a slight smirk graced her lips._ _

_ _“You’re alive?” Everyone else was nodding slowly, looking at Anya for an answer, like she wasn’t standing in front of them growing more and more agitated by the second. She just rolled her eyes, having had enough of social interaction for now._ _

_ _“Whatever, I’m going on a run. We’re going to need more supplies for this fence and I don’t think I’m gonna be able to hold Blondie for long” She said rolling her eyes and turning around, walking towards east wings’ underground parking to go find her jeep. “Anyone who wants to join, feel free!” She called over her shoulder, not bothering to look back and see who would follow. She heard chairs skidding on the floor and feet behind her. _ _

_ _That was enough encouragement for her._ _

* * *

_ _She had ignorantly assumed the silence that formed between the small group on the walk to her jeep would continue when they eventually got on the road as well._ _

_ _Oh, how wrong she was._ _

_ _“I’m honestly surprised you came out of that room unscathed” Raven spoke up from next to her in the passengers seat. Having called shot gun when they first got to the jeep, she ended up pushing Murphy when he tried to get in, said seat, himself. She pushed him so hard he ended up face first on the concrete, now a few scratches adorning his cheek and chin from the impact. Anya couldn’t help the laugh that flew from her throat at the sight. She shook herself from her thoughts and shrugged her shoulders in response to Raven. _ _

_ _Shaking herself from her thoughts she turned her attention back to Raven. She shrugged in response, not wanting to admit the blonde honestly didn’t scare her at all. She, after all, had worse things thrown at her head from angrier women. _ _

_ _But she wasn’t about to be the one to tell Raven that._ _

_ _The brunette raised her eyebrow at the Generals answer but didn’t ask her to elaborate any further. She knew Anya was still a little raw about the argument with Clarke, and didn’t want to rub salt in an open wound. She hadn’t been told much but the basics of what happened with Clarke and Anya in Mount Weather, but she knew they both went through hell. Their relationship was strange but it was formed in the most tragic of situations. Both women seemed to need the other._ _

_ _Yet, both were too tenacious to admit it._ _

_ _“Clarke’s the most stubborn person I have ever fucking met” Murphy said from the back where he was sat next to Bellamy. “Once she gets something in her head it’s impossible to change her mind” _ _

_ _“Yeah I once found it endearing…” Bellamy finally spoke up, a small smile gracing his lips. “Until I realized it almost gets her killed every week”_ _

_ _“Or blown up!” Raven interjected_ _

_ _“Or Taken…” Anya said her voice low but still heard by everyone. Her eyes still focused on the road, as the jeep grew eerily silent. Raven looked at the older blonde, her fingers were gripping the wheel tightly causing them to go white at the knuckles. Her jaw kept clenching as her eyes darted from the road to their surroundings refusing to acknowledge anyone around her. _ _

_ _Raven didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but something inside of her told her Anya needed some kind of reassurance that someone was there for her. So, without a second thought she placed her hand flat on Anyas’ thigh, squeezing lightly in comfort. It only took a couple of seconds but to Raven it felt like eternity. Anya sat frozen, looking down at the hand on her thigh and then back to the road like she was contemplating what to do. Finally making her decision, she removed a hand from the wheel and placed it on Ravens, intertwining their fingers on her thigh. Raven smiled softly at her, gently squeezing her hand. She returned the gesture, and relished in the silence until they had to stop._ _

_ _“So where exactly are we heading?” Bellamy asked after a while of silence, looking out his window. Anya just realized she was so worked up earlier she completely forgot to tell them exactly why she wanted to make a supply run so suddenly._ _

_ _“Honestly my true intention on coming out here was to reach my Commander. The distance is too far for my radio to pick up any signal from your outpost.” She answered. _ _

_ _“You have a radio?!- fuck! Ow! Motherfucker!” Raven bounced so far off her seat in excitement, she hit her head on the roof. Rubbing the top of her head she turned her attention back to Anya, impatiently waiting for an answer. Anya would be lying if she said torturing the small brunette with silence wasn’t amusing. Watching her jaw clench as her bouncing became more fluid, now completely unable to keep her excitement under control._ _

_ _Anya found it adorable. But after a few minutes she felt she had tortured the beautiful brunette enough._ _

_ _“Yes Raven, I have a radio” She held up her finger as Raven opened her mouth to speak. The genius closed it quickly with a pout “And yes I shall let you use it to help you make your modifications on yours.” She finished, now removing her finger from her lips. Raven smiled and nodded, turning back in her seat and facing the front._ _

_ _“You’re the best, doll face” Raven said with a wink in her direction. Anya failed to hide the small smile that painted her lips at the nickname. She has never been the one to allow others to call her anything but her given name or title. Coming from the gorgeous genius beside her though? _ _

_ _She was okay with that._ _

_ _“So uh…” Murphy spoke up, leaning over in his seat to get a better look at the two in the front, focusing on Anya with a smirk “Doll Fa-”_ _

_ _“Finish that sentence, beanie boy, and you will wish you were dead.” Anya said, for the first time taking her eyes off the road to stare daggers at him. He stuttered for a minute, the smirk gone in an instant, as he sat back in his seat and kept his mouth shut. Anya scoffed to herself and turned her attention back to the road. She was glad someone was still intimidated by her._ _

_ _They road about another five minutes until they were just outside Coalition borders. It wasn’t a perfect signal from this far but she wasn’t too worried. She knew her Commander would be in Polis by now and it was closer to where they were than Trikru or the Trading post would have been. When they passed through on the way here, she had noticed a few signs for a family owned lumber yard just down one of these roads. She had made a mental note to come back and check it out. She figured no better time then now._ _

_ _She pulled down a dirt road where the signs had led her. The path itself was surrounded by large trees on both sides, making it impossible to see anything besides foliage. Finally pulling into a clearing she pulled the jeep in front of a large warehouse and they all stepped out. _ _

_ _Piles of rotten wood lay around them in heaps. Some had long suffered from dry rot, eaten away by bugs and weather overtime. Others looked to have been burned, either from natural occurrences or not, it was of no use to them anyway. _ _

_ _Bellamy walked over to a large pile, inspecting the worn wood. Beckoning for Murphy to come help him move some of the pieces to see if anything is usable underneath. Anya sighed, taking this time to try and reach her Commander. She began walking a little ways down the path they came, thinking if she were closer to the main road it was less of a chance to lose signal. She heard a very loud scuffling behind her and when she turned around she found Raven. The brunette seemed slightly embarrassed for having been caught. Kicking the dirt with the toe of her shoes as she swayed on her feet._ _

_ _“Um- sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I was just wondering if maybe you wanted some company?” Raven asked, her voice going up a slight octave when she spoke. “If you want privacy, that’s fine, I just figured cause I’m not much help here you know? With the handicap and all” She pointed to her bad leg “and I figured you’d maybe want some company if you’re walking alone, but now that I’m thinking about it you would have asked me if you wanted me to come so nowIfeelreallystupidI’msosorryIshould-”_ _

_ _“RAVEN!” Anya didn’t know what else to do to get the brunette to shut up. But when she screamed her name, it seemed to make her go instantly silent. She slowly walked over to her, grabbing the backpack the brunette was carrying and swinging it over her own shoulder._ _

_ _“We really must work on how you carry yourself on your feet. You must have scared off all the animals around by now” Anya smirked at her “But yes, of course you can come” She finished with a smile, before nodding for Raven to lead the way. She didn’t miss the soft blush that graced the brunettes tan skin and was glad the other girl was in front of her, or she wouldn’t have been able to miss hers either._ _

* * *

_ _ _“Anya, report”_ _ _

_ _“Heda, it’s so good to hear from you. We didn’t seem to run into any trouble on the way here. We do know that one of Clarkes’ people was taken a few days?-” She looked at Raven for confirmation, the brunette nodded “Yes, a few days ago. It feels to me like the Mountain is watching them.” She finished, removing her finger from the button. It took a few minutes for a response, but they were both alert when they heard the static click of the radio on the other end._ _

_ __“Yes Anya I believe you’re right. It would seem like they know exactly who Clarke is and where she came from.”_ The Commander clicked off, but Anya knew she wasn’t finished. She waited patiently until she heard the familiar static again. _ _

_ __Click._ _ _

_ __“How are the defenses there?”_ Anya sighed, she knew this was going to be the main focus of their conversation._ _

_ _Click._ _

_ _“Not well Heda. They have no outside defenses at all and the interior defense is weak. It won’t survive a regular horde, not to mention one of those _Ripas_” _ _

_ _“Ripas?” Raven asked after she lifted her finger. Anya just nodded, realizing she hadn’t said the name she calls them to anyone but Heda._ _

_ _“Yes, _ripa_ is reaper in my language. That is what I call those monsters the Mountain made.” Anya quickly explains, luckily Raven doesn’t ask her any further questions before they hear a response on the other side of the radio._ _

_ _ _Click._ _ _

_ __“Very well, you know your orders.”_ Anya groaned and stared murderously at the radio. She wasn’t sure if she should tell Lexa about Clarkes’ obvious dislike with the plan. She wasn’t sure what the stubborn blonde was planning to do but she didn’t want to be blamed if she did anything foolish._ _

_ _“Ugh! Fuck it!” She yelled, taking a deep breath before responding to her Commander._ _

_ _Click._ _

_ _“There is a slight problem with Clarke, Heda. She knows Finn was moved to Polis without her consent and she isn’t pleased… I don’t know if she plans to do something but I would not put it passed her.” There was a dead silence on the other end when she clicked it back over. So silent in fact that Anya thought the Commander had already walked away well before she relayed the message._ _

_ _Then the static came through._ _

_ _ _Click._ _ _

_ __“I will be there come morning.”_ Raven and Anya both stared at the radio dubiously. Anya wasn’t sure if she heard right but when Raven gave a low whistle she knew she hadn’t. Turning her attention back to the brunette next to her Raven seemed to be shaking her head._ _

_ _“Clarke has a lot of explaining to do”_ _

_ _“What?”_ _

_ _“Did you not just hear what I did?” Raven asked, pointing to the radio in Anyas’ hand and looking incredulously at her. “Something happened between Clarke and this Commander person didn’t it?” Raven asked, her hands now firmly on her hips as she glared at Anya. The sight caused a laugh to escape Anya as she rolled her eyes, ignoring the brunettes question._ _

_ _“Come now, _strik sora_ (little bird), the guys must be looking for us by now” Anya said, already walking down the dirt path they took before, Raven reluctantly following behind._ _

_ _“Wait, what did you just call me? What does strik sora mean?- No! Don’t answer that! You’re trying to distract me! What the fuck happened with Clarke and the Commander?!” Raven continued her questioning, staying hot on Anyas’ heels. The General just laughed, refusing to answer, as the brunette grew more and more flustered._ _

_ _“ugh, Come on doll face! You gotta give me something. Stop ignoring me!”_ _

_ _Which she continued to do the entire walk back._ _

_ _When they got back to the guys they were pleased to find the warehouse now open. The guys had apparently found a few scraps of metal and lumber that was still usable inside. They were able to carry some but made sure to come back tomorrow for the rest. There was only so much room in the jeep and they didn’t want to leave anyone behind to make two trips because it was starting to get dark._ _

_ _Anya wasn’t surprised not to find Clarke in the commons when they got back. She had assumed she’d be still locked in her room, so she decided to leave her be tonight, knowing the blonde probably wished to see anyone but her right now. Before they started unloading everything she asked Raven to get Clarke some food and bring it to her, knowing the brunette couldn’t lift much of their supplies but wanted to feel useful. She was able to go back to unloading the jeep feeling a little better knowing someone was taking care of her annoying blonde friend._ _

* * *

_ _Clarke had no idea how long she was sitting in front of that wall writing and drawing out different plans. When she was finished the only thing that told her how long she was there was the infinite amount of white chalk streaks adorning her face and clothes. _ _

_ _When she washed up and changed her clothes she pulled her desk chair to the middle of the room and sat down, looking at her work. She swallowed, for the first time seeing in front of her what was only in her mind. She jumped slightly when a knock sounded at the door. Clarke took a deep breath to settle her heartbeat before responding._ _

_ _“Come in!” There was a shaking of the doorknob before one more loud bang came through the door and her best friends voice sounded through._ _

_ _“It’s locked, you idiot!”_ _

_ _“Oh!” Clarke quickly sat up, completely having forgotten locking that earlier in her anger. The second Clarke heard the sound of the door being unlocked the door swung open before she had a chance and Raven came barging in._ _

_ _“God damn Clarke! Have you left this room at all today?” Raven said, pushing her way inside with a tray of food in her hands. She walked over to her desk setting it down. “I know you’re in here sulking and shit but you need to actually fucking eat something” The brunette said, setting up her food, drink and utensils nicely on her desk as she spoke “I get why you’re all mad and stuff but right now we can’t do anything but work on the defenses so were just going to have to deal with- whoa” Raven stopped, finally turning around to face the chalkboard wall. _ _

_ _There wasn’t one blank space on the entire thing. Clarke had made a very detailed blueprint of the Mountain. It contained rooms, their functions, number of security, entrances, exits, anything that you could think of Clarke made sure to put down. Raven stared slack jawed, unable to form words. _ _

_ _“It’s only part of the Mountain. I don’t even know how big the place really is, I just know there is more.” Clarke said, her voice sounding smaller, even to her. She pointed to a spot on the board that looked like a maze of tunnels._ _

_ _“That’s how we escaped…” Clarke said, eyes closing as the images of experiment 134 entered her mind. The bubbling of her skin, the way her body writhed and squirmed. Like she could feel pain, like they understood pain. She was quickly ripped from her thoughts when Raven finally found her voice._ _

_ _“This is amazing Clarke… With this, along with everything else Finn found, there’s no way we couldn’t get in.” Raven said in awe, finally facing the blonde. Clarke nodded in agreement, walking over to sit back down on the chair in the middle of the room._ _

_ _“Yeah, well it’s never been getting in I’ve been worried about…” Clarke said, unable to continue her thought. Raven seemed to understand, coming to kneel next to her friend, laying a comforting hand on her thigh._ _

_ _“I know, but you got out before and it was only you and Anya. Weak, with nothing but each other-”_ _

_ _“The point of this is?” Clarke asked, a little more harshly then intended. Raven didn’t seem to take any offense by it._ _

_ _“My point _being_: this time it’s not just going to be you and Anya. It’s going to be all of us. All of your friends… And lets not forget the Commander and the troops” Raven finished, pointing to the door indicating Anya and the others. Clarke nodded, seeming to find some comfort in her friends words. Just not enough to ease the ache in the pit of her stomach. Raven wrapped both arms around her friend, pulling her into a much needed hug._ _

_ _“It’s all going to be alright Clarke, I promise they won’t take you away from me again. I’ll blow a bitch up before they lay a finger on you” She couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up at her friends threat, pulling back she looked at Raven with pure adoration._ _

_ _“Thanks Rae”_ _

_ _“No problem, that’s what I’m here for!” Raven responded with a wink, standing back up with some help from Clarke “Now go eat” She said pushing Clarke towards her food. “You’re going to need your strength when the Commander gets here in the morning!”_ _

_ _“Yeah, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until- wait, what?!” Clarke turned around quick, her heart speeding up quicker than she thought was healthy. Raven seemed to find amusement in her reaction, almost like she was expecting it._ _

_ _“Well, well… I was right” Raven said, walking towards the door. But instead of leaving, she closed the door locking them both inside, before turning back around. “See, I knew Anya was either being very loyal to her Commander or very loyal to you when she refused to give me any information on the two of you” She said, the smirk on her lips growing as she sat on the edge of Clarkes’ bed. _ _

_ _“Ugh Raven, please not now…” Clarke groaned, completely forgetting about her food as she slumped down in her chair with a pout._ _

_ _“But you see, I’ve been loved by many women in my day” Raven continued, ignoring Clarke completely as she began to unfastened her brace. “And I know what someone in love sounds like” She threw her brace on the floor, crawling up Clarkes’ bed so her back was against the headboard. She tucked her legs underneath her and gestured for Clarke to sit down across from her. When Clarke didn’t move she patted the spot harder and sent Clarke a glare that could wither flowers._ _

_ _Rolling her eyes she sat up, sitting across from Raven and tucking her legs beneath her as well._ _

_ _“Okay fine Rae, but there is _no_ love. So shut up” _ _

_ _“Okay, okay fine-” The brunette said, tucking her arms behind her head and leaning back, plopping her legs on Clarkes’ lap. “Now, lets here about this sexy Commander… Start from the beginning.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before anyone asks why Octavia and Lincoln and Anya and Raven are so quick to top each other I do have a reason for doing it. I felt like there was already enough angst between Lexa and Clarke and Clarke and Anya in this story for me to put even more on other couples. Now that's not saying there won't be angst because there is no promises. I write by the chapter so we'll see where this goes lol. But I know that in an apocalyptic situation, especially one they've been dealing with, it can make hormones stronger and lusty moments harder to resist. So that's where I went with this. Hope you're not disappointed. But... At least Lexa's coming back!
> 
> As always please let me know what you think. It REALLY TRULY helps me.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


	15. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa returns ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me longer than expected but I wanted to dedicate this to a very good friend of mine. If it weren't for you Iris, this wouldn't be possible. So Thank you :)

Anya was growing increasingly more frustrated as the minutes went on. She had been attempting to look for Clarke since she woke up this morning. Feeling that the younger blonde just needed some time with Raven last night, she had made sure to stay out of her way. But when she woke up this morning she was hoping to catch up with Clarke a little before the Commander showed up.

As the seconds ticked by that hope was fading more and more into the distance.

Making her way outside she squinted her eyes against the sun. Her gaze scanned the surroundings trying desperately to find a streak of sun kissed hair in the crowd. 

No such luck.

"Hey Anya, we’re about to make another run out to the lumber yard, you want to join?" Bellamy asked, having had noticed Anya looking a little out of sorts. She shook her head in answer, continuing to look out into the distance. Bellamy nodded, shuffling a little on his feet, uncertain about what to do. The older blonde seemed flustered by something and he didn't feel right leaving her. Thinking of only one thing that could possibly settle Anya, he cleared his throat.

"Ravens in her garage if you want to talk to her" he said softly so only she could hear. She looked at him, before nodding once and turning around.

"Thank you, Bellamy" she said, before walking back inside the building and heading towards Ravens garage.

The walk there was made in relative silence, only passing by a few people on her way there. After a lot of discussion and confusion they finally decided they needed to name their kru, especially if they were to be working with the coalition. Raven had decided on the name, after trying desperately to get it to be called Raeskru, they finally agreed on the name Skaikru; after the mall they decided to call home.

Anya has yet to fully meet everyone at the outpost. Since Clarkes' disappearance they had recruited and saved about twenty people, but they were so scattered in different places on the outpost, with various different jobs, that she hadn't bothered yet with a full introduction to everyone.

As she made her way towards Ravens workshop she could faintly hear the sound of raised voices coming from the engineers rooms. Slowing down and silencing her footsteps she stopped just outside the door, ready to barge in if she felt the brunette needed her.

"We don’t even know these people Raven! Hell! The rest of us barely know Clarke! Were just trusting what you say!" A male voice could be heard, the anger dripping from every word. Anya could hear a loud slam, what sounded like two hands on a table before Ravens voice filled her ears.

"Exactly! You're trusting what I say with Clarke, so trust what I say with the Coalition"

"You know nothing about the Coalition! You base your information on the words of strangers... you're hormones seemed to have muddled your mind Ms. Reyes"

"Now hold the fuck on-"

Raven was cut off by the door swinging open so hard it slammed into the wall. The brunette lifted an eyebrow as she watched a seething Anya slowly make her way towards them. Her jaw was clenched, hands in fists so tight her knuckles were turning white. If Raven were the only one in the room right now she had no doubt she would have tackled Anya the second she walked in.

But alas, she was not.

"Excuse me, miss..?" 

"It's General, to you." Anya said through clenched teeth. Ravens gaze drifted between both of them, not exactly sure how much Anya had heard before barging in.

"Uh-okay, General this is Pike. Pike, the General" Raven said, deciding to get the introductions out of the way.

"I would suggest you make your presence scarce when my Commander arrives. I can guarantee she won't be as-" Anya looked Pike up and down with disgust "forgiving as me" 

Pike raised an eyebrow at her, clearly trying to decide if she was worth the effort or not. Realizing she was more than he could handle he turned back to Raven, completely ignoring Anyas' presence when he spoke.

"Think about what I said Miss Reyes." He said, side eyeing Anya "We don’t know who we can trust" he finished, looking between both women once more before taking his leave. 

The silence lingered for an uncomfortable amount of time after Pike left. Anya continuing to stew in her anger and Raven fidgeting with whatever doodad she could get her hands on just so she didn't have to look at Anya. Something about the older blonde was intoxicating to Raven. She barely knew the woman but she couldn't seem to keep her hands off of her. Times like these though, when she wasn't allowed to let her hands go wild, she was tortured with the images her mind would come up with. She had to try and remind herself she barely knew Anya. They had only met a couple of days ago, it shouldn't be this hard for her to keep her hands to herself. It shouldn't be this hard.

Yet, it was.

"Who the fuck was that?" Raven startled at Anyas' voice, ripping her from her thoughts. She turned around to make eye contact, duel browns battling with each other, both trying to gain the upper hand. When Ravens heart settled enough for her to think, she raised an eyebrow in question.

"That was Charles Pike-"

"God dammit Raven you know what I mean!" Anya yelled in frustration, breaking their eye contact in order to pace.

"Okay okay! Chill out, what the fuck is wrong with you? I know you probably overheard him talking shit but-"

"Raven." Anya stopped pacing, holding the bridge of her nose with two fingers. She took three deep breaths before turning around to face the brunette. Her face, once full of rage and hostility was now a mask of calm. "Was this the first time he voiced his concerns with you?"

Raven bit her lip, unsure if she should answer the question honestly. Her hesitation was answer enough for Anya.

"Do you understand that unrest from one man can lead to a riot within the outpost?"

"Well, I mean I never really thought about it. I just figured Pike was one of those nuts who always had an opinion on something and felt the need to share" Raven answered with a shrug, now feeling like a complete idiot. Anyas’ gaze softened as she took in the brunettes’ words.

“Yes- that could always be the case. But in times like these, people are at their most vulnerable. Survival comes first and foremost to them and if they feel like their lives are threatened-” Anya looked away, unable to finish her sentence. Her trust in people had become deeply effected by her former Commanders death. Though Clarke and Raven had reopened a side of her she thought to be long gone, her distrust of people hadn’t completely diminished. She relied on her instincts when it came to new people and trusted what her gut told her.

Her gut told her Pike was bad news.

“Okay” Ravens voice broke her from her thoughts as she looked up to meet the brunettes eyes “I understand what you’re saying, I’m definitely going to have to talk to Clarke about how to pacify everyone” 

At the mention of the blondes name Anya was reminded of the exact reason she came to see Raven in the first place. Taking a deep breath to center her emotions she looked at the slim brunette across from her, giving her a small smile of reassurance before speaking.

“Speaking of Clarke, have you seen her this morning?” 

“No” Raven said, her brow furrowing in concern “The last time I saw her was last night” Anya nodded, seeming to get lost in thought. Raven grew impatient with concern for her friend. “Anya!” Raven practically growled out, snapping the older blonde from her thoughts. “What the fuck is going on with Clarke?”

“I don’t know, I was trying to find her this morning so I can try and talk with her before the Commanders arrival but I can’t seem to find her” Anya answered, growing more frustrated by the minute.

“Well, she did seem a bit off when I mentioned the impending arrival of Commander sexy”

“Excuse me? Commander what-?” Anya asked suddenly, unsure if she heard wrong. Raven didn’t seem to hear her, or if she did she was choosing to ignore her as she began to pace. Anya stood there patiently, coming to the realization that whatever she said wouldn’t be heard anyway. 

After a few more minutes Raven stopped, snapping her fingers as she came to a revelation. 

“I think I know where Clarke is” The brunette announced, walking towards the door before a firm hand wrapped around her arm, gently pulling her back around.

“Where Raven? We need to find her before Heda gets here” Anya said, the pleading look in her eyes melting Ravens heart. As much as she wanted to reassure the blonde and let her know where her friend was, she couldn’t. She knew Clarke wasn’t going to talk to anyone else. She might not even talk to Raven, but she had a better chance than most. She smiled softly at Anya as she gently extracted her arm from her grip.

“I will find her and bring her back Anya, but I have to go alone” The stone-like features that settled on Ravens face was enough for Anya to nod and allow her to leave without further argument.

As Raven reached the door she stopped just as her hand touched the handle. Quickly she turned around taking four wobbly strides towards the older blonde, giving her a small peck before practically running back out of the room.

Anya couldn’t get rid of the smile that was now plastered on her face.

* * *

A soft squelching noise could be heard as Clarke retracted the blade from a rotters skull, turning just in time to drive it into the jaw of another. The rotter continued to squirm and growl as it tried to reach for her. Clarke narrowed her eyes as she stared at the rotter in front of her. Watching as her blade went deeper, piercing through the bottom of it’s tongue. It clenched it’s jaw onto the tip of her dagger, slowly sinking further into it, unwittingly trapping it’s jaw shut. She smirked as it struggled to free itself and get to her. She couldn’t ignore the feeling of adrenaline that coursed through her body with each kill.

Taking out the undead had become sort of a way of meditation for Clarke when she felt her walls were closing in. Her anxieties always stemmed from the feeling of not being enough, not doing enough. The one and only thing she knew she could definitely, without a doubt, do, was kill as many rotters as she could. So when things became overwhelming she would sneak out early in search of a few rotters. It was certainly not the most healthy way she could use to calm herself down, but she couldn’t deny it was the most effective.

She wasn’t sure why the thought of Lexa coming would dredge up so many negative feelings. She was excited about seeing her again, even if she still had no idea what ‘they’ were exactly. She groaned as she retracted her blade quickly, the blood spraying the side of her face as she tried to turn her head away. The walker unfortunately was not deterred in the slightest as it quickly regained it’s balance and lunged at Clarke. She was just about to turn and drive her dagger into it’s skull when she heard a very soft pop and the rotter fell to the floor in a heap. Clarke quickly turned around to see Raven standing there holding a gun. When they made eye contact Raven dramatically blew on the tip of the gun before sticking it back into its holster. Clarke narrowed her eyes at her friend.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Clarke said, with more attitude then she meant. Raven just raised an eyebrow at her in a silent hint for Clarke to watch herself. Raven was the only person that wasn’t intimidated by the blonde. Everyone usually knew to stay away from her, letting her figure her shit out on her own. Raven didn’t give a fuck. She couldn’t stand when Clarke self pitied and she was always the first to call her out on it. 

Today was no different.

“I’m here to tell you that Commander sexy will be here soon. Anya looked like she was going to throw up when she couldn’t find you” Raven said with a simple shrug of her shoulders. “I took pity on her and said I’d get you. I had a feeling you’d be here” Raven said looking around at the abandoned museum. She knew there were signs on the highway advertising this place. She had a feeling Clarke might have noticed them when they first arrived. 

“Well thanks for the warning, you can go now” Clarke said shortly, turning back down the hallway she was walking down. She was working on clearing the entire museum. She wasn’t sure why she cared so much about something that technically meant nothing to their world anymore. Yet each artifact and painting was history she couldn’t bring herself to let go.

“Whoa Clarke, what the fuck is wrong with you? I mean I know you were acting a bit weird last night, but this is more than that” Raven inched closer to the blonde “Talk to me Clarkey…” Raven practically pleaded causing Clarke to stop in her tracks. She took a deep breath before turning to her best friend, the sadness within those brown eyes broke Clarke down.

“I don’t know what’s happening Rae, I feel like I’m losing control…” She spoke, her voice breaking in her despair.

“You mean like with Commander Sexy-?”

“Rae!” Clarke chastised, unable to handle any of the brunettes little quips at the moment. Raven put her hands up in surrender, understanding her friend was in no mood for her shit.

“Okay, okay I’m sorry. But seriously Clarke, what is it? Do you feel like the Commander is taking your control away or something?”

“Yes- no, I don’t know. I don’t think she is purposefully doing it. I know logically this is my own issue. It’s just..” Clarke trailed off, unable to finish the explanation.

“It’s just what?” Raven asked, inching closer to the blonde causing Clarke to take a few steps back to keep the distance.

“I- It’s-” Clarke stumbled on her words, her thoughts becoming overwhelming. Raven kept up her slow pursuit, inching Clarke closer to the wall.

“It’s just what, Clarke?” Raven repeated, only inches from her friends face, causing the blonde to hit the wall behind her. The brunette refused to back down as she pushed forward only inches from the blondes’ face. Raven knew she was being overbearing but she also knew how Clarke worked, and if someone didn’t push her she would cave into herself.

“What Clarke? What is it?!-”

“It’s all changing so quickly! I can’t take it!” Clarke screamed, finally caving in and giving Raven what she wanted. All she felt was pure rage as all her thoughts and emotions came to a head. “It was just six of us for almost a year! Barely staying alive, barely keeping enough water in us to keep going-”

“Yes, and it was you that got us through all of that” Raven interjected, trying to get her friend to understand. Clarke just shook her head violently, unable to listen to reason.

“We were barely surviving Rae… But Then Monty and Jasper joined us, and then-”

“You were taken” Raven filled in the rest, her voice barely above a whisper. Clarke laughed bitterly.

“Yes. I was taken.” Clarke said, venom dripping off of every word. “Then I met Anya, we broke out, we reached Trikru, I met Lexa and finally thought I found a solution to our problem…” Her voice broke as she paused, swallowing down the sudden lump in her throat. 

“Then when Finn-” Clarke stopped to look at Raven, watching the light drain from her friends eyes. Clarkes’ heart ached at the sight and she put a tentative hand on Ravens shoulder. After a few seconds, Raven cleared her throat breaking the silence as she let out a low whistle, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Fuck.. A lot has happened” Raven sighed, shaking her head. She didn’t know her friend was carrying this much weight on her shoulders. 

“Yeah” Clarke nodded in agreement “A lot has happened. Add to the fact that I slept with the fucking Commander…” Clarke groaned, sliding down the wall she was leaning against, her legs unable to hold her any longer. Raven followed her down to the floor, and sat down next to her, putting an arm around the blondes shoulder and pulling her close. Deciding to give the blonde her silent comfort while she worked out her thoughts.

“I- I don’t know if my plans to take down the Mountain will work… I just feel like it’s the only thing I can do right now” Clarke said, her voice breaking. 

“You’re not alone in this Clarke, as much as you’d like to believe it.” Raven said, scooting herself closer so she was leaning into Clarke, putting her head on the blondes shoulder. Clarke sighed, leaning her head against the wall and her cheek atop Ravens head.

“I know…” Clarkes’ voice was barely a whisper as she closed her eyes, finding comfort in her friends warmth as sleep overcame her.

* * *

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me..” The voice pierced through Clarkes’ subconscious as she tried to will her eyes to open.

“Hey Branwadas!” That did it, as both girls bolted from their sleeping position on the floor. Clarke blinked the sleep from her eyes as the face of the intruder came into vision. She let out a frustrated groan.

“Fuck Anya I’m so sorry, we-” The older blonde raised her hand, cutting Clarkes’ explanation short. Unsure of how long they had fallen asleep or what time it actually was, Clarke felt a little disoriented. When her vision started to clear she was able to see the worry on Anyas’ face, quickly replaced by annoyance and anger the second the older blonde realized Clarke was looking.

“I don’t want to hear it Clarke.” Was the only thing Anya said as she turned around to walk out of the museum. She stopped suddenly to look behind her shoulder.

“Get her up” She gestured to Raven, who was currently curled in on herself on the floor, having fallen back to sleep through the commotion. Clarke cursed under her breath as she stared at Anyas’ retreating figure. Looking down at her friend she kicked her lightly in the ribs.

“Rae” Clarke groaned, loving her best friend immensely but hating waking her up. “Rae get the fuck up!”

“Whatthefuckwhothefuckwhen!?” The brunette startled awake, her sleep addled brain drowning out her other senses as she tried to understand her surroundings. Clarke rolled her eyes as she bent down to help Raven get to her feet.

“Let’s go Rae, were in trouble” Clarke grumbled, feeling like a child about to get scolded. 

“Trouble? Why would we-” Raven stopped suddenly, her eyes going wide in realization. “No we didn’t-”

“Yup”

“But did she-”

“Yup”

“And are we-”

“You know the answer to that Rae, so shut up and move, I don’t want to be chastised anymore than we already are”

“Fuuuuuuckkk” Ravens voice echoed throughout the large museum as they quickly made their exit to catch up with a seething Anya.

To say the short walk back with a very angry Anya was awkward, was an understatement. The tense silence became so unbearable Raven started whistling a tune, kicking an occasional rock as she moved. Clarke couldn’t keep her eyes from darting to the older blonde in front of her. Anyas’ anger was something Clarke could handle, having done so a few times already. 

The obvious disappointment she found in the older blondes eyes was something she couldn’t live with. The silence that enveloped them was louder than anything Anya could scream at her and she couldn’t take it any longer.

“Anya-”

“Don’t.” Anya cut her off quickly, only daring to look at her over her shoulder. Clarke shrunk in on herself, surprised by her intensity. The cold feeling in the pit of her stomach grew as the silence enveloped them once more.

When they finally reached Arkadia Anya turned to face the two girls for the first time since she picked them up.

“The Commander arrived about an hour ago” She said curtly, eyeing Clarke. “She was not very pleased to know you were gone with no idea of your whereabouts”

“Anya I’ll explain it to her, it wasn’t your fault” Clarke said, trying her hardest to reason with the General. Anya just shook her head, now refusing to meet Clarkes’ eyes.

“No. I will take whatever punishment my Commander sees fit.” Anya said, her voice dry as she looked off into the distance. “She is waiting for you” She gestured with her head to the entrance behind them. Raven remained silent as she slipped passed the two blondes to walk inside. Clarke felt like she was rooted in place, her eyes focused on Anya.

_Look at me, just fucking look at me!_

Clarke internally screamed, she wasn’t used to feeling this way about anyone besides Raven. Something about the hurt on Anyas’ face was evident. Clarke had one job. Only one thing she had to do: Be here when Lexa showed up.

But of course her own selfishness consumed her and drove her away.

_Like always…_

Clarke sighed as she came to the realization that Anya was not ready to forgive her yet. She didn’t fear that she would never be forgiven but the lingering feeling of failure and dread was enough to consume her. The only thing that pushed Clarke forward was the knowledge that it was the one thing she could do right for Anya.

She just hoped it wouldn’t be long until the older blonde would be able to look at her again.

* * *

When Clarke entered the commons, she was immediately escorted to the conference room by one of the Lexas’ guards. When she walked in she was greeted by two blank stares and a pacing Commander that hadn’t even noticed her entrance. Nyko and Lincoln were both seated across from their arrant leader, their demeanor instantly relaxing with Clarkes’ arrival. She wasn’t entirely sure what to say in that moment, watching Lexa manic was something she had never thought to see. Clearing her throat, words flew from her mouth before she had a chance to stop them.

“Long time no see Commander” Lexa went still, her head whipping around so fast Clarke was sure she had whiplash. Her pacing seemed to stop but the anger on her face only seemed to double.

“So glad you decided to grace us with your presence…” Her voice was low, almost threatening and Clarke had to stop herself from taking a step back.

“I had some thinking to do and went out early this morning without telling anyone. Raven found me and we ended up falling asleep. Completely lost track of the time” Clarke answered with a shrug. She really had no idea why Lexa was acting this way. She had done nothing out of the ordinary for herself. She felt bad about missing her arrival, but all she could do was apologize for that and move on. 

Lexa seemed to have another idea.

“Both of you leave.” Lexa said, looking towards Lincoln and Nyko for a second before focusing back on the blonde. They both quickly stood, the chairs scrapping against the floor as they moved, being the only sound heard in the tiny space. As they reached the door, Clarke moving out of the way so they can pass, Lexas’ voice rang out.

“Make sure we are not to be disturbed, Clarke and I have much to discuss.” Lexa said that last part while looking into the blues of her eyes. Clarke could feel her heartbeat start picking up as soft murmurs of acknowledgement could be heard from behind her. The soft click of the door shutting and the shuffling of retreating footsteps were the only things Clarke could focus on to control herself. She refused to break eye contact with the brunette, both women not daring to blink do to their stubborn nature. Lexa was the first to speak, eyes still focused on her as she took two steps closer to Clarke.

“Why did you run this morning Clarke?” Lexas’ voice was soft, almost hurt. Her brows furrowing slightly in her confusion. It broke Clarkes’ heart to know she was the cause of that look.

“I-I didn’t really run, I just needed some time to think.” Clarke answered lamely, knowing Lexa would sense the lie immediately. The brunette stood there rooted in place, the look in her eyes never leaving. Clarke took a deep breath, realizing Lexa wasn’t going to let her leave without a real explanation. 

“I thought-” Lexas’ words caught in her throat and she finally broke eye contact turning around. Clarke noticed the tremor in her voice and the way her hands began to shake. 

It was Clarkes’ turn to be confused. She had never seen the Commander this vulnerable, even when she was naked beneath her.

“You thought what?” Clarke asked, this time being the one to move two steps forward. They were still a few feet a part from one another, but the closer they got, the harder it was for Clarke to keep herself under control.

Something about Lexa drove Clarke absolutely insane. The clench in her jaw, the way her eyes bore into her soul with every look. Her gentle nature, yet strong endurance. She was responsible for so much, yet still Clarke could see the young woman inside begging to be free. 

To have fun.

Even now, Clarke could see the way Lexa tried to remain stoic. Always calm, always able to help others but herself. The brunette was currently in a battle with her own mind and emotions, and all Clarke could do was watch from the sidelines as it all played out.

It was only minutes later when Clarke heard Lexa take three deep even breaths and when the brunette turned back around her face was masked again.

“We must discuss why I am here. I heard you were growing restless with the knowledge of Finns removal from Trikru.” The Commander was the one speaking now, Lexa long hidden away. Clarke took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. She couldn’t seem to get close enough to Lexa to break down those walls that seem to be hiding a part of the real her. Every time she got close, Lexa would push her further back and the frustration was beginning to grow.

“No.” Clarkes’ answer was sudden but dripping with conviction. Lexa looked up suddenly, an eyebrow crooked in surprise.

“No?”

“No. No were not just going to forget about what the fuck just happened Lexa” Clarke was done. She needed real answers. They both did, and if fighting was the way to do it then she was willing to try.

“Clarke-”

“I said no.” The blonde took two more steps, causing Lexa to take two steps back. Green eyes widened in shock as the blonde all but charged at her. “You might think feelings are weak, but your weak for hiding from them” She continued her pursuit until Lexas’ thighs hit the conference table. 

“I’m tired of hiding from them, I’m tired of running from them” Clarke said, her heart practically beating from her chest. “And I’m not going to let you do it anymore.” Their noses were touching. She could feel the gentle touch of Lexas’ breath on her lips. Could see the way green eyes flicked between stone blue.

“Tell me to stop” It was a whisper, but it was heard by Lexa nonetheless. “Tell me to stop and I will. We will never talk about this again. We will simply move on to plans on the Mountain.” The only thing that could be heard was their ragged breaths as they tried to remain calm. Clarke could see the inner turmoil Lexa was facing, but she knew if she didn’t push they’d be playing this game forever.

“Tell me to stop” It came out as a plea this time and Clarke didn’t dare try to stop it. She needed these answers, she needed to know how Lexa felt. The games were too much to handle, especially if they are going to be going up against the Mountain.

“No” Lexa whispered “Don’t stop, I need-”

“What?” Clarke pushed “What do you need Lexa?” She could hear both their heartbeats syncing in rhythm with the other. Their fingers barely touching, but the heat threatening to take control.

The silence became overwhelming, until Lexas’ voice finally broke through. Her voice cracking, barely above a whisper.

“You…”

* * *

Raven had been working diligently in her workshop on the radios, trying desperately to get their bands to reach farther. She was so ensconced in her work, she hadn’t heard someone enter the room until a throat was cleared behind her. Nearly jumping out of her skin, Raven twirled around on her good leg, grabbing the table behind her to keep from falling. Her other hand raising to her chest when she noticed a very sheepish Anya looking quite unsure in front of her. 

“Holy shit hot stuff-” Raven breathed out, trying to regulate her heartbeat “You can’t just sneak up on a girl like that. I was in my zone!”

“I did knock four times” Anya said, pointing to the door behind her, trying her best to hide her amusement.

“Yet, you did not receive an answer” Raven countered, wriggling her index finger at Anya “That is not polite etiquette there doll face” Anya rolled her eyes at the pet name, resigning to the fact that she will never win an argument with the slim brunette.

“Can we talk?” Anya asked, her voice coming out higher than she thought. She can feel her face flushing and hoped Raven didn’t notice. The brunette crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow in question, waiting patiently for the General to continue. Anya shuffled on her feet, not used to the feeling of caring what another person thought.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I let my anger and fears control my emotions and I apologize if I made you uncomfortable in any way.” Anya mumbled, barely glancing at the brunettes’ eyes, unable to see the possible disappointment there. Raven just huffed, rolling her eyes and turning back around to the gadgets on the table.

“I’m really not the one you should be apologizing to” Raven retorted, keeping her attention on her work. Anya rolled her eyes, knowing this was going to come up in conversation.

“That’s between Clarke and I and-”

“No actually, that’s where you’re wrong.” Raven said, turning around. Her voice was low, menacing almost, it caught Anya by surprise. “Clarke is my business. Were a packaged deal and anything you do or say to Clarke, you in turn say to me” Raven inched closer to Anya, her slim frame doing nothing to lessen the threat Anya felt like she was under.

“Clarke is my best friend, were a packaged deal. So you need to make it right with her” Raven eyed Anya up and down, seeming to take her in inch by inch. “Well, you do if you ever want to be in my good graces again.” The brunette finished with a wink as she turned back around to her work.

“Or my pants” Raven finished with a smirk, trying not to laugh at the sight of an open mouthed Anya.

“But-”

“Nope.” Raven cut her off, not looking away from the radio now in her hands. “You can leave now, I think you have a certain blonde to talk to” Anya rolled her eyes and grumbled under her breath as she left in search of Clarke.

* * *

[Smut Incoming]

Before Clarke could respond, Lexa attached their lips together and she couldn’t control the moan that escaped her at the contact. Lexa slid her hands under Clarkes’ thighs and lifted her up, letting the blonde wrap her legs around her waist for leverage before turning her around and sitting her on the table. Neither of them broke their kiss as they quickly began tearing at each others clothes. The need to feel the others skin becoming too overwhelming for either of them to bare. Their shirts and bras littered the floor but they could care less, the need to be with the other becoming too overwhelming.

Lexa quickly sucked Clarkes’ bottom lip between her teeth, biting down gently before soothing the bite with her tongue. A wanton noise escaped the blonde, causing Lexas’ body to quiver at the sound. She hadn’t realized how much she had truly missed the noises she could elicit from the blonde. 

Clarke was doing no better. 

She too, could barely keep herself under control. She hadn’t realized how much she needed this, but she did. Lexa helped her feel when she thought it was an impossible task. Even if it was only this way, if this was all they could be, Clarke would be okay. She needed Lexa. She thought she had never really needed anybody, that she could survive on her own if it came down to it. Now, in this moment, Clarke could think of nothing she needed more in this world than the brunette wrapped around her.

Lexas’ hands trailed down to a perky pink nipple and Clarke gasped in a breath of air as slim fingers softly pinched and squeezed. Her hands frantically clawed at Lexas’ back, pulling her as close as she possibly could. Her thighs gripping the brunettes’ waist, not even air could separate their bodies. Lexa moved her mouth down Clarkes’ neck, nipping and sucking just under her ear. The blonde shivered beneath her, building Lexas’ need to consume her fully. The brunette palmed Clarkes’ breast with one hand as the other unbuttoned her jeans, pulling apart from her just enough to bark out a command.

“These. Off. Now.” Her voice was husky, her eyes so full of lust and longing that Clarke didn’t hesitate a second to lift herself off the table as Lexa greedily ripped her pants and panties off at once. The brunette slowly trailed her hand up Clarkes’ inner thigh, the feeling of soft velvet skin sending a spark to Lexa’s core. She took a step back, admiring the beauty that sat before her, completely open and vulnerable.

And just for her.

As Lexa moved forward to reattach their lips, Clarke put her hand on her chest stopping her.

“You’re too clothed for my liking.” Clarke said with a smirk. Lexa quirked her eyebrow in amusement, attempting to hide a smile.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. Those-” Clarke pointed to her pants, pulling her closer as she began unbuttoning them. “Too much. Need more of you.” she unzipped her jeans and that was all the motivation Lexa needed. Quickly kicking herself out of them, as well as her panties and stepped back between Clarkes’ legs, feeling the heat radiating from the blondes’ center. Lexa hummed in appreciation as her hands glided up smooth thighs, spreading Clarkes’ legs just enough for her to get the perfect view. 

Clarke bit her lip as Lexas’ hand grew closer to where she needed her most. But the lust and feral need in the brunettes’ eyes was what really drove Clarke insane. She knew she had already made a complete mess of the table beneath her and Lexa hadn’t even really begun. A soft, warm mouth wrapped around her hardened nipple, breaking her from her thoughts. Clarke let out a low moan as she leaned her head back, bringing her hand up to Lexas’ head, keeping her in place. She curled her fingers around long brunette locks as her other hand pulled Lexa as close as she could. Lexa hummed into her breast as her fingers found her clit. Clarke gasped at the sensation, causing Lexa to move her fingers in tighter circles. Moving from one nipple to the next, Lexa made sure to kiss every inch of exposed skin she could reach.

Clarke couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to feel all of Lexa, she had never needed anything more in her life. The pure wild lust that took her over was something she was not familiar with, but she did nothing to gain back her control. She let herself give into her desire, let herself feel with every inch of her body. 

Every tremble.

Every ache.

Every single seed of desire, she felt it all.

Yet, she needed more.

Clarkes’ fingers loosened the grip in Lexas’ hair as her hand roamed between their bodies. The need to touch Lexa overcoming her need for release. When her fingers reached their desired target she bit back a moan at how wet the brunette already was for her. Beginning to mimic Lexas’ motions with her clit. Both women were trembling around each other, unable to let go of the other. Lexas’ fingers moved lower, slowly inserting two fingers into her, while keeping her thumb moving in circles on her clit. Clarke groaned low at the sensation, feeling herself ripple around Lexas’ fingers.

Not even realizing what she was doing, she had inserted two of her own fingers inside of Lexa. The short gasp and soft moan that left the brunettes’ mouth was enough indication for her to continue her thrusts. Slow and deep, only inserting a third finger as Lexa began bucking her hips for more. Her mouth found purchase on Lexas’ neck as she felt the familiar stir deep in her belly. She wasn’t ready yet though, she needed to do this with Lexa. 

“Cum with me-” Clarke gasped out as Lexa curled her fingers in just the right spot. Clarke was seeing spots as she tried desperately to hold herself back, leaning forward and thrusting deeper into the brunette.

That did it.

Lexas’ head fell back as she let her orgasm take root, Clarke was not far behind as she felt Lexa tighten around her fingers, the feeling bringing her to climax. Both Women quivered around each other as they let themselves go. They both helped the other back down from their high, Lexa being the first to pull away. She removed her fingers, bringing them up to her mouth, groaning at the taste of Clarke on her skin. Another wave of heat coursed through Clarke at the sight and she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning. Gently removing her fingers, she made sure to slowly glide a finger across Lexas’ clit, enjoying the way the brunettes hips bucked in response.

They remained in silence, foreheads pressed against the other, unable to break away. Knowing the second they do, they have to go back to the real world. The real, very scary world that they know isn’t ready for them to be a “them.” A world where they are needed to lead people they never asked to lead. A world where their feelings are irrelevant. Where their wants don’t matter. Where the only needs they are allowed are food, water and shelter. 

Clarke wasn’t ready for the real world, she needed to keep this feeling for as long as she could. The feeling of being content.

Being satisfied.

Being Happy.

So, Clarke pulled Lexa closer, resting her cheek on her shoulder, enjoying the feeling of Lexas’ arms around her. She closed her eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of lavender and pine. Being content in the arms of a woman that has come to mean more to her than Clarke thought possible.

She had no idea what their future held, no idea if they ever had a future at all. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever get the chance to really be with Lexa, in the way she truly wanted. She had no idea if it were even possible.

Yet, a small bubble of hope began to grow in Clarkes’ chest. A warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time. Lexa felt the same way about her, she knew that, she could feel it even if the words were never said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
